FabSwingers.com forum: Worst meets and why.....

By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

As above - mine was me and a girlfriend with a last minute pull. Guy was HOT his large skidmarks were NOT!!

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

She turned up

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I have not actually had really awful meets though I there have been a few where I have just stopped as it wasn't working

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poor hygiene yuk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met a girl from a different site. All going well, went upstairs, kissing etc. She was naked, l was wearing loose fitting boxers. She removed the boxers for me, took one look at my dick and said 'no way is that fitting in me' got dressed and left.

Rubbish meet.

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"Met a girl from a different site. All going well, went upstairs, kissing etc. She was naked, l was wearing loose fitting boxers. She removed the boxers for me, took one look at my dick and said 'no way is that fitting in me' got dressed and left.

Rubbish meet. "

Having just had a nose at your profile I think it's your tongue she shoulda been more worried about!!! Fuck me!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rubbish meet. "

#humblebrag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll go first! It was actually me. Uni days I turned up to meet a couple, d*unk as a skunk. I went to the bar and they disappeared. I thought they went to the toilet so I'm now in the women's toilet knocking on cubicle doors saying, "guys are you in there?!"... got kicked out and woke up in halls. Never heard anything again. Going back 8 years though! Needless to say I learnt my lesson. I was a mess and it wasn't a hot mess either. She was mortified and he was raging! I'd never do that again but I learnt my lesson which is why I can laugh now.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Was messaged late at night by some guy. Photos looked ok but, being new to this n' all, foolishly gave out my postcode.

I'm asking for a face pic, he says he's 5mins away. I'm like WHAAT??! Now is not convenient!

I get a face pic and, actually he's more than alright.

Get another message; "I'm at your front door."

No he isn't, he's just about to knock on the neighbours'! :o

Get him inside toot sweet.

He goes to the loo, removes clothes, says he's forgotten something from the car, gets dressed... and fucks off.

Total encounter time: 8 mins.

WTF?

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

I also met a guy when I lived with friends. Pics looked great and I was really on one so gave out address (never would normally!!) and he appeared. Looked FOOF ALL like his pics (may have done before a fight with Ali) so I hid in the house, switched off my phone and prayed!!! Later told him my ex had appeared declaring his love so I'd gone out with him and made it back up so not playing again - then blocked!!

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I had 1 that turned into a blow & go. Never been so disappointed

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"I had 1 that turned into a blow & go. Never been so disappointed

I'm thinking Benidorm and hotpants now..... Lol sorry x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first ever fab meet. Arranged to meet guy in hotel carpark and get a room. Was nervous as hell and he spent ages trying to get me to fuck him in the car :/ Then he gave the hotel receptionist a fake address which was just too embarassing and then after the sex (which wasnt good) he burst into tears, told me he was married and deleted his account! Its amazing I ever met anyone again and I've learnt a lot since then! Awful lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As above - mine was me and a girlfriend with a last minute pull. Guy was HOT his large skidmarks were NOT!!

Grrr people always tell half the story! What did you do about it? Did you acknowledge it? Did you stare and point? What does one do in such a situation?

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"As above - mine was me and a girlfriend with a last minute pull. Guy was HOT his large skidmarks were NOT!!

Grrr people always tell half the story! What did you do about it? Did you acknowledge it? Did you stare and point? What does one do in such a situation? "

I actually said 'HOLY SHIT'! Very loudly as I saw them, said I was no longer up for it but if they wanted to carry on I would just vacate the room and I did (and more shamefully she carried on!!!!

Granted, he was GORGEOUS but erm, no......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As above - mine was me and a girlfriend with a last minute pull. Guy was HOT his large skidmarks were NOT!!

Grrr people always tell half the story! What did you do about it? Did you acknowledge it? Did you stare and point? What does one do in such a situation?

I actually said 'HOLY SHIT'! Very loudly as I saw them, said I was no longer up for it but if they wanted to carry on I would just vacate the room and I did (and more shamefully she carried on!!!!

Granted, he was GORGEOUS but erm, no......"

What he embrassed or did he just shrug and say "sorry I don't normally wear white boxers"?

Was he a bit simple minded?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She had me drive 80 miles to pick her up and then she proceeded to get pissed. I honestly think she just wanted a night out the house to get d*unk, not a fab meet!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As above - mine was me and a girlfriend with a last minute pull. Guy was HOT his large skidmarks were NOT!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mines a MMFF meet.

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"As above - mine was me and a girlfriend with a last minute pull. Guy was HOT his large skidmarks were NOT!!

Grrr people always tell half the story! What did you do about it? Did you acknowledge it? Did you stare and point? What does one do in such a situation?

I actually said 'HOLY SHIT'! Very loudly as I saw them, said I was no longer up for it but if they wanted to carry on I would just vacate the room and I did (and more shamefully she carried on!!!!

Granted, he was GORGEOUS but erm, no......

What he embrassed or did he just shrug and say "sorry I don't normally wear white boxers"?

Was he a bit simple minded? "

He actually said very little other than begging me to stay and I didn't hang around long enough to find out much else..... Luckily I was still fully dressed at that point (he'd offered to strip for us) so I escaped quite quickly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She had me drive 80 miles to pick her up and then she proceeded to get pissed. I honestly think she just wanted a night out the house to get d*unk, not a fab meet!!

Had one like that last year, met her in a pub and got lunch, she scoffed it down along with 4 drinks... then said she was going as she had another meet in a hour!

She has since left the site.

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By *lutmeup500Woman
over a year ago

London

Woman that let me play with her but burst into tears when I fucked her man.

A couples with the kids upstairs while we were fucking, and I didn't realize (they didn't tell me and the guy I arrived with) till they said we can only stay if we help the kids with breakfast in the morning

WTF.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She had me drive 80 miles to pick her up and then she proceeded to get pissed. I honestly think she just wanted a night out the house to get d*unk, not a fab meet!!

Had one like that last year, met her in a pub and got lunch, she scoffed it down along with 4 drinks... then said she was going as she had another meet in a hour!

She has since left the site."

Were you expecting more than just a social meet then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He got his tackle out and i thought whatbthe hell an i meant to do with that i have used bigger tampons, plus his house was a tip didnt want to take my clothes off never mind my shoes, made my excuses and asked to be driven home , he stopped the car half way home and said he wasnt taking me any further, wasnt too bad as there was a bus stand nearby so i got a bus the rest of the 8 miles home ,, lucky escape has totally made me more wary xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy asked me to get in the boot of his car as he drove up to his house and into his garage so his neighbours wouldn't see me !!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a couple of blow and goes, really disappointing, especially when their wife emailed me the next day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woman that let me play with her but burst into tears when I fucked her man.

WTF."

Did you indicate that was a weird thing to say or just politely say that you had to get back to feed the cat?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She had me drive 80 miles to pick her up and then she proceeded to get pissed. I honestly think she just wanted a night out the house to get d*unk, not a fab meet!!

Had one like that last year, met her in a pub and got lunch, she scoffed it down along with 4 drinks... then said she was going as she had another meet in a hour!

She has since left the site.

Were you expecting more than just a social meet then?"

No, but I wasn't expecting her rudeness, walking out after downing her 4th drink and leaving me to pay the tab, it was a social meet, she had been asking for a meet for 3 months!

Now I only meet in the club I go to, unless I know the person from a previous meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He got his tackle out and i thought whatbthe hell an i meant to do with that i have used bigger tampons, plus his house was a tip didnt want to take my clothes off never mind my shoes, made my excuses and asked to be driven home , he stopped the car half way home and said he wasnt taking me any further, wasnt too bad as there was a bus stand nearby so i got a bus the rest of the 8 miles home ,, lucky escape has totally made me more wary xxxx"

And people complian about all the cock shots on here...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a meet from pof, we were in her bedroom fucking when her three year old came in.

I stopped and got off but she said to just ignore him and to carry on...I got dressed and left

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He didnt have a cock pic, lesson learned xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met a woman for a drink with my ex on our couple profile. After we bought the first three rounds she announces she doesn't have ANY money and asks if we can buy her more drinks! She then goes outside for a cigarette (her profile said she was a non-smoker) and is gone for ages. We peek outside and she's there picking up fag butts off the floor and smoking the last few dregs of each!

We decide to call it a night and make an excuse about an early start the next day. We ask if she'd like us to walk her back to the station and she says she doesn't have any money and demands we give her money for her fare!

Absolute nightmare!

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By *lutmeup500Woman
over a year ago

London

"Met a woman for a drink with my ex on our couple profile. After we bought the first three rounds she announces she doesn't have ANY money and asks if we can buy her more drinks! She then goes outside for a cigarette (her profile said she was a non-smoker) and is gone for ages. We peek outside and she's there picking up fag butts off the floor and smoking the last few dregs of each!

Absolute nightmare! "

BRILLIANT

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By *lutmeup500Woman
over a year ago

London

"Woman that let me play with her but burst into tears when I fucked her man.

WTF.

Did you indicate that was a weird thing to say or just politely say that you had to get back to feed the cat? "

Told them it was bloody wierd!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woman that let me play with her but burst into tears when I fucked her man.

WTF."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woman that let me play with her but burst into tears when I fucked her man.

WTF.

Did you indicate that was a weird thing to say or just politely say that you had to get back to feed the cat?

Told them it was bloody wierd!"

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Absolute nightmare! "

Oh my dear God!!

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By *piritsonfabCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Well these are funny and entertaining even if awful and they are also instructive and informative. .. what a great thread

;)

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Woman that let me play with her but burst into tears when I fucked her man.

WTF."

I was at a single guys house one night. Next morning I had to help with breakfast too and I'd be mummy - turned out to be a single dad. I took an earlier drive home.

Years ago a guy shot his load onto my new skirt, as I brushed past him - we were still largely clothed. He wasn't a repeater.

Another guy bought tampons to insert into me. Not on.

Was taken to one family home and introduced to parents and siblings, before the action. Father came back for something a little later - I left.

And at one place they had a goat in the house and wouldn't close the doors. I explained that I only do play meets at my place or clubs.

I've left most of the details out from these but they were all a little unnerving in their own quirky way.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Ah, the young lad who, after a few drinks, flipped and said how he wanted me to drag him off to an alleyway, beat him up proper, piss on him and rape him.

I was like, uh, you didn't mention *any* of this before?

Never finished a 'date' before with, I think you should fuck off now and get your train.

He was only 19. Think what he'd be like after a bit of practice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guy asked to use my bathroom when he came to mine for a coffee. Thought hey up he been gone a while, went upstairs to see a bedroom door open. My daughters bedroom door may I add. There he was laid on her bed in her underwear and squeezed his feet in her heels wanking. I was not amused to say the least

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Guy asked to use my bathroom when he came to mine for a coffee. Thought hey up he been gone a while, went upstairs to see a bedroom door open. My daughters bedroom door may I add. There he was laid on her bed in her underwear and squeezed his feet in her heels wanking. I was not amused to say the least "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no idea where you all find these people.

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By *lutmeup500Woman
over a year ago

London

I have no idea where you all find these people."

omg. thought mine was bad.

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"Well these are funny and entertaining even if awful and they are also instructive and informative. .. what a great thread

;)"

Well I gotta be good at something lol

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Holy shite!! That's one for the avoid list!!!!

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I met a guy who mid shag told me I could visit him in London when I was thin.

I couldn't get rid of him quick enough.

He sent me an email about six months later asking how I was.

Still fat was my reply!

Delete.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

This thread is making me

and

in equal measure. I have no bad meet stories to tell though. Shit, what if that makes me the bad meet myself?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A social meet in Morrison's cafe. He turned up looking like a real scruf. Unshaven and apparently dirty with wall to wall emotional issues. I felt like a care in the community worker made an excuse and left.

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"A social meet in Morrison's cafe. He turned up looking like a real scruf. Unshaven and apparently dirty with wall to wall emotional issues. I felt like a care in the community worker made an excuse and left.

If you weren't so far away I'd say that was probably my ex!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ohh mine was bad and my fault

Back in my single days I gave a man a 71 - what's a 71 I here you ask

We were doing a 69, he was fantastic I was cumming time and time again , I could not control myself and pooed on his head 69 + a number 2 = a 71

I was mortified - he kept lick my pussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ohh mine was bad and my fault

Back in my single days I gave a man a 71 - what's a 71 I here you ask

We were doing a 69, he was fantastic I was cumming time and time again , I could not control myself and pooed on his head 69 + a number 2 = a 71

I was mortified - he kept lick my pussy "

Say what now! Were you holding back the aforementioned poo before the commencement of the pussy licking? Or is this a common occurrence with some women?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ohh mine was bad and my fault

Back in my single days I gave a man a 71 - what's a 71 I here you ask

We were doing a 69, he was fantastic I was cumming time and time again , I could not control myself and pooed on his head 69 + a number 2 = a 71

I was mortified - he kept lick my pussy

Say what now! Were you holding back the aforementioned poo before the commencement of the pussy licking? Or is this a common occurrence with some women? "

Never happen before or since a one off

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"Ohh mine was bad and my fault

Back in my single days I gave a man a 71 - what's a 71 I here you ask

We were doing a 69, he was fantastic I was cumming time and time again , I could not control myself and pooed on his head 69 + a number 2 = a 71

I was mortified - he kept lick my pussy "

Oh that's hilarious!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arranged a quick social meet at mine, didnt usually give out my details but had house to myself and we had been chatting, anyway he arrived and called me to say he was outside i needed to buzz him in so i peaked out the window omg he was about 4 stone bigger and looked like he had slept in his clothes he looked nothing like his pics big bushy goatee too i was not attracted to him one bit,shallow i know but its all about attraction for me, i paniced but as he was here i felt sorry so let him in i had told my friend about the meet so txt her to tell her, she said she would call me and try get me out of it, so he came in we chatted then she called and i said omg really il be there as soon as i can,told him i was sorry my friend had fell and needed help to the hospital, so he left but as he was leaving he said you cant go without a kiss and leaned in and nearly ate the face of me, i could feel the tears welling in my eyes i closed the door and ran to bathroom... deleted my profile and blocked his number, really did make me more cautious in future lol

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Ohh mine was bad and my fault

Back in my single days I gave a man a 71 - what's a 71 I here you ask

We were doing a 69, he was fantastic I was cumming time and time again , I could not control myself and pooed on his head 69 + a number 2 = a 71

I was mortified - he kept lick my pussy "

You win!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rubbish meet. "

such a defeatist attitude

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By *anillanomoreCouple
over a year ago

Chichester

I read this out loud to Mr. The look of horror when he did the mental maths before the big reveal was hilarious, thank you. How mortifying though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ohh mine was bad and my fault

Back in my single days I gave a man a 71 - what's a 71 I here you ask

We were doing a 69, he was fantastic I was cumming time and time again , I could not control myself and pooed on his head 69 + a number 2 = a 71

I was mortified - he kept lick my pussy "

I saw it in my mind vividly when reading that, right down to the little thud of the turd hitting his forehead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Male half here. Had a meet once with a woman. We had been talking awhile so plucked the courage to meet her. When I got to hers everything seemed fine. I had planned a 2 night stay. However the following morning I get a text saying my man was in hospital after a fall. I tell her I have to dash home and she flips! She starts threatening me with a knife. Telling me how shes been accused of murder in the past. Safe to say I ran for the hills.

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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago

London / Herts

Once, I thought I was meeting a woman, but it turned out to be the least convincing TV ever. Hairy legs to boot.

It was a very frustrating drive home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ohh mine was bad and my fault

Back in my single days I gave a man a 71 - what's a 71 I here you ask

We were doing a 69, he was fantastic I was cumming time and time again , I could not control myself and pooed on his head 69 + a number 2 = a 71

I was mortified - he kept lick my pussy

I saw it in my mind vividly when reading that, right down to the little thud of the turd hitting his forehead."

I did too but then it wasn't clear how solid the poo was. Upon reflection, I presumed that it was runny given the circumstances.

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By *urvy_bi_honeyWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I once went for a social with a fellow Fem I found whilst out fishing.....

Social went well and we ended up back at mine.... We started kissing etc on my sofa.... One thing led to another, her jeans came off and I ended up giving her oral - she came and literally within seconds she shot out of the back door still pulling up her jeans whilst grabbing her shoes and bag... 10 seconds later she was driving off up the road and I swear she must have still been having orgasm contractions!!! Never did find out why she darted off so quick - I found it all highly amusing!!

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By *xcumMan
over a year ago

kidderminster

I got chatting to a guy who wanted sucking off, ok he gave me the address and I began my journey. Every few minutes he txt , how long, are you near yet, hurry up. When I was a mile away he txt to say slight change of plan we will use the garage, ok I can go with that. Now when I pulled up outside his house, on an estate I might add, he was stood in the middle of his drive with his cock out and said do it here. It appeared to me this guy was off his rocker. Fuck me I drove home with tears of laughter, then the cheeky fucker asked for a veri. Fuckin certifying more like. Talk about neibourhood watch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ohh mine was bad and my fault

Back in my single days I gave a man a 71 - what's a 71 I here you ask

We were doing a 69, he was fantastic I was cumming time and time again , I could not control myself and pooed on his head 69 + a number 2 = a 71

I was mortified - he kept lick my pussy "

Shut_the_front_door!!

Oh my days that is bad but hilarious at the same time

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By *anillanomoreCouple
over a year ago

Chichester

"I once went for a social with a fellow Fem I found whilst out fishing.....

How rude!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine has to be when I had the woman's son walked into the lounge as we were fully naked mid way through.

The worst thing is that he was only 2 years younger than me - I'll never forget the disgusted expression he had on his face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once met a lovely young man who neglected to tell me he was in fact a virgin - I found out when he came in his pants just as I took my bra off!

However, he proved to be a repeater and redeemed himself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahhhh god, in tears of laughter reading these!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The one where I got punched in the head...!

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"The one where I got punched in the head...!"

What funk me

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By *adyboy-DaddyCouple
over a year ago

Andover

Reading these has reminded me why we never, ever meet at other people houses!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG some of these are so funny crying with laughter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread perked up my Sunday cuppa in bed hahahaha!

Never had a bad meet yet but it's early days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also reminded me why hubby and i always do a social first it's our get out of jail card

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also reminded me why hubby and i always do a social first it's our get out of jail card"

We do too but it's not fool proof. One couple seemed lovely on the social, but the guy soon turned nasty when he couldn't get wood during the meet. That's the worst one we've ever had.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

"Reading these has reminded me why we never, ever meet at other people houses!

Same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The last 5 meets.... They didn't show

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great thread folks

New to fab and the scene. Ive only had 1 meet so far and im hoping it wasnt bad enough to make it onto here but i guess time will tell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rubbish meet.

such a defeatist attitude

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By *lutmeup500Woman
over a year ago

London

lol fantastic thread

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

The now where I accidentally broke my foot! Kicked out uncontrollably in pleasure during an intense orgasms in a 69 and put it Through my headboard. At the time I thought ooh they hurt, then we had a giggle before resuming fun, I didn't realise how serious it was till I tried to walk on it and couldn't.

Lovely guy about it though, took me to a&e, stayed with me while I got sorted, took me home then left after he knew I was gonna be ok

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By *ouple36DDCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Some of these are hilarious.

Our meets have been pretty good however there was one accassion we met a couple in a pub. She did not say a word for the entire time apart from hello. He just stared at my boobs which were not on display. We left after a couple of drinks.

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By *r H and Good PetCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Wow.... Reading these has really put into perspective how lucky I've been, cos my worst was only this dude who lived on a chicken farm.

I thought he lived in a farmhouse when he said he lived on a farm, but it was more like a portakabin on the edge of the land, kept warm by a really noisy space heater. He had no furniture except a sofa bed in the middle of the room, which pointed at what must've been a 65" TV. The whole thing was just surreal. Lol.

Plus the whole place had that mouldy squatty homeless smell to it.

And he'd shut his dog in the cupboard and it was crying really loudly.

Didn't feel very turned on in the circumstances. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WTF

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As above - mine was me and a girlfriend with a last minute pull. Guy was HOT his large skidmarks were NOT!!

"
no not good at all check your underwear and have a wash ladies and gents happy easter

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By *anillanomoreCouple
over a year ago

Chichester

"As above - mine was me and a girlfriend with a last minute pull. Guy was HOT his large skidmarks were NOT!!

I take it rimming was off the agenda then? Mmm chewy bits, vom!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A guy asked me to get in the boot of his car as he drove up to his house and into his garage so his neighbours wouldn't see me !!!!!!"

Hahhaha you win and ohhh no

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

Many moons ago when I was younger and even more foolish, met a guy in the bar and chatted. Then went up to his room

Mid-passion he says to me, "I'm in a relationship"; I was lost for words; I think I said, "congratulations"

Later he took a shower so that his partner would not detect the perfume from me. The whole thing, from start to finish, lasted two hours

He was then worried about handing the card-key back at reception because they might figure out why he had booked the room. He said he will drive by in the morning and drop it in then

Then he asked me when I was free to meet again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a great thread.. thank you . i've roared with laughter..

Asked Mr TCR if i could try a 71

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolute nightmare! "

Hahaha omg is there actually people like that still alive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow you should write a book. These are astonishing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh dear these make mine sound like nothing ....

Anyway here it goes ....

One guy was kissing etc everything going well and then I went to take his jeans off .... As soon as his boxers dropped the smell... Omg the smell.... I felt like puking instantly and he then started playing with himself and all I could see was knob cheese!!! Yesss!!! Knob cheese is real!!! I didn't think it was and he wanted me to put it in my mouth... I was like fuck that and backed off... His response 'why not it's just cum' !!!!!! What the actual fuck?!

Another guy was supposed to be a social so no Sex planned but as things happen and he was driving me home got horny and some car sex was on the agenda .... He cum twenty seconds into a bj (yeah imm that good lol) and to try and stop if he grabbed his cock and my hair at the same time pulling a handful of hair out too

but he almost redeemed himself with a repeat but he was adamant I straddle him... Ummm the car is a bit small? Nope it's what he wanted.... Safe to say 30 seconds in sustained a head injury and was concussed...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These are like b movies, its oh no, omg etc, but so funny!!!

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Nightmares of a swinger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep it up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mines meeting up with a friend I hadn't seen for a while.

Jumped on the train to go visit him. When he picked me up then informed me that he had given up his flat and moved into his mother's.

Dont worry though he said. I will buy her a bottle of wine and she will fall asleep

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

So glad I started this thread lmao

However there is one story I've neglected to tell - til now.....

I had a 'suprise' threesome, me and my fella had a thing about fucking outdoors at the time and I had no clue he'd invited someone to join us. All well n good and a jolly good time was had by all!

However, roll on five years.....

I go for a job interview (completely different hair and having put on a few stones at that point) and walk out thinking nice company although he looked vaguely familiar.....

Roll on 6months AFTER I started the job I had realised who he was and I think likewise he had with me. We all knew what a lovely guy he was with a lovely wife and family.... Just not about his lovely penchant for sticking his cock in my every orifice....!

Low and behold I was then sacked for the first excuse he could find as he broke into panic!!

He oddly removed himself from Facebook completely afterwards - think he thought I had revenge in mind when in truth after seeing him in a non-horny light I was just actually a little ashamed

A horror story with a delay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine was a date rather than a Fab meet but anyway ..

Came back to mine, went to bed had some heavy petting. She told me sex was off the table but was up for fondling and so on. Literally eight hours of edging later (I probably had a couple hours of sleep in between) it's now the morning and she says actually lets have sex.

I point out that after eight hours I'm gonna cum in seconds so it might not be that great, so she says she'll get me off with a handjob.

She did, I got up to shower. Felt a bit 'sore' in the old gentlemans plums but didn't think more of it. Getting out the shower was a bit of a struggle. Shuffled into the kitchen to make coffee thinking 'something definitely doesn't feel right'.

Started getting worried so we googled and found 'testicular torsion'

I said I'm sure it's not that, then promptly passed out.

When I come to she's called an ambulance and gets me a glass of water. Paramedics arrive, laugh quite a bit at my expense and take me to hospital. Three (THREE) urologists come to take a look and tell me I haven't twisted, but I have bruised one of my fruit and veg

They say it's possible; the cord that attaches them is springy like a bungee cord and basically I came so hard I bruised one against myself !

Prescription for codeine and antibiotics given I had to go get on the tube and go home!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mine was a date rather than a Fab meet but anyway ..

I point out that after eight hours I'm gonna cum in seconds so it might not be that great, so she says she'll get me off with a handjob.

Started getting worried so we googled and found 'testicular torsion'

I said I'm sure it's not that, then promptly passed out.

They say it's possible; the cord that attaches them is springy like a bungee cord and basically I came so hard I bruised one against myself !

Prescription for codeine and antibiotics given I had to go get on the tube and go home!"

Sounds like a bad case of blue balls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of these bad/worst meets and so on can I ask if the ones who have had them had been chatting to the other person a while or were they quick arranged meets ?

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"All of these bad/worst meets and so on can I ask if the ones who have had them had been chatting to the other person a while or were they quick arranged meets ?"

Mine were all last minute jobbies - and one I didn't even know was happening! Lol. He was good at those.....

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"All of these bad/worst meets and so on can I ask if the ones who have had them had been chatting to the other person a while or were they quick arranged meets ?"

Mine was with a guy I chatted to for over a year we wanted to meet sooner but schedules kept conflicting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All of these bad/worst meets and so on can I ask if the ones who have had them had been chatting to the other person a while or were they quick arranged meets ?"

Mine was with a guy who I had chatted to for a few months and never once said he liked wearing female lingerie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has made my day reading these xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Many moons ago when I was younger and even more foolish, met a guy in the bar and chatted. Then went up to his room

Mid-passion he says to me, "I'm in a relationship"; I was lost for words; I think I said, "congratulations"

Later he took a shower so that his partner would not detect the perfume from me. The whole thing, from start to finish, lasted two hours

He was then worried about handing the card-key back at reception because they might figure out why he had booked the room. He said he will drive by in the morning and drop it in then

Then he asked me when I was free to meet again

"
thought you didn't meet in hotels ??

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

"Many moons ago when I was younger and even more foolish, met a guy in the bar and chatted. Then went up to his room

Mid-passion he says to me, "I'm in a relationship"; I was lost for words; I think I said, "congratulations"

Later he took a shower so that his partner would not detect the perfume from me. The whole thing, from start to finish, lasted two hours

He was then worried about handing the card-key back at reception because they might figure out why he had booked the room. He said he will drive by in the morning and drop it in then

Then he asked me when I was free to meet again

thought you didn't meet in hotels ??

I don't anymore; and this is yet another reason why I don't anymore. Clubs a few times and then his home. No place then to hide the wife

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Mine seem so tame in comparison to most of these lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is brilliant just made me laugh after being in a crappy mood. Loving the 71 story haha

doll x

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"This thread is brilliant just made me laugh after being in a crappy mood. Loving the 71 story haha

doll x"

After scanning through again I'm with you on 71 being the best one and kudos for admitting it!!!

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

One meet with another TV from another site, we met up went back to mine the whole time playing she only wanted to bareback. Before the meeting we said safe sex, in the end I called a halt to it and she left.

Another meet different person, same site. There was no connection at all, she was unemotional again I called it quits and left.

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

Rubbish meet.

Having just had a nose at your profile I think it's your tongue she shoulda been more worried about!!! Fuck me!!!!

lol, us to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine wasn't a meet more date. I'd met a slightly older woman in a night club and she was a filthy one however I was paraletic and was in no state for anything let alone remembering anything. Anyway my mate kept pulling me away from her and I was thinking he was jealous that if pulled.

Over a few weeks she kept taxing me all sorts of rude shit which turned me on no end. We arrange for a night of passion, however she worked till late evening so I had to take the last train to get there. She turned up and to say beer goggles was an understatement! I was trapped no way home no one to call to get me. I had to go through with it.

Plus side she really wanted to lick my arse which was new to me so i let her. At one point in the night she woke me up to fuck her I really couldn't do it so I wanked over her face and went back to sleep. I left as soon as I knew the first train was due.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of these are eye opening!

Last year was online around 12. Messaged by a couple whose spelling was out but assumed either not great at it or d*unk as a Saturday night.

Turned up and the guy couldn't talk. Got indoors and his jaw was all over the shop and all under his nose.

His partner was upstairs. When I sat in lounge he handed my a cucumber and said something about an ass but it was that jumbled I couldn't make out whether he meant mine or hers ! Made it clear not going in mine.

As night went on, I was accused of being a police officer for declining drugs. Then had to watch most of night as he struggled to get his dick up resulting in not one but two cucumbers going inside her. Ended with some blood. Not for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of these are eye opening!

Last year was online around 12. Messaged by a couple whose spelling was out but assumed either not great at it or d*unk as a Saturday night.

Turned up and the guy couldn't talk. Got indoors and his jaw was all over the shop and all under his nose.

Perhaps you should have entered this into evidence on the constant 'does spelling matter' threads?

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By *anky_Panky OP Woman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

lmao I cannot believe these keep coming - mine are so tame in comparison!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't believe some of you didn't walk away from these situations. If you stayed then it can't have been that bad!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Date rape drugs for one make women lose control of their bladder. Can't believe what goes on for a shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg that is shocking!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I met a guy who mid shag told me I could visit him in London when I was thin.

I couldn't get rid of him quick enough.

He sent me an email about six months later asking how I was.

Still fat was my reply!

Delete. "

Haha

love it

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"Ohh mine was bad and my fault

Back in my single days I gave a man a 71 - what's a 71 I here you ask

We were doing a 69, he was fantastic I was cumming time and time again , I could not control myself and pooed on his head 69 + a number 2 = a 71

I was mortified - he kept lick my pussy

I saw it in my mind vividly when reading that, right down to the little thud of the turd hitting his forehead.

I did too but then it wasn't clear how solid the poo was. Upon reflection, I presumed that it was runny given the circumstances. "

Omg stop I'm actually crying laughing here

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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Fab should do a book on these some seriously funny ones come on guys lets restart this.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Wow there some ppl on here I've not seen in some time and it's funny as fuck trying to figger out the unlos

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"As above - mine was me and a girlfriend with a last minute pull. Guy was HOT his large skidmarks were NOT!!

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