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A question for the ladies re: orgasm

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok so have mentioned before on another thread that I've yet to manage an orgasm. I'm 99% certain it's all in my mind - I feel like I have to stop playing when it starts getting too intense because I don't know what's going to happen next.

Recently though, although I still have to stop before I get a release, I keep going for longer because I'm enjoying it and a large part of me really does want to persevere (just not enough to actually do it!).

Just want to know, when you're approaching an orgasm, does it feel like you're fighting it? Tensing up etc? Or do you have to relax and just let it happen? Because I've tried the relaxing thing, slowing my breathing etc and deliberately untensing my legs etc but it just seems to make the intensity subside I feel like I get 'closer' when I'm fighting it, but at the same time feel like I'm in too much control to let it happen?

Thoughts appreciated x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im very much like you on this one,, just afraid to let go. i end up 'wriggling' or closing my legs if it just gets too much.

i dont have a problem with it on my own, and yes that means im guilty of faking it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ahh see I can't do it full stop! Any way of describing the 'process' when you manage on your own? Just got no idea what feelings I should be homing in on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

an orgasm is not the be all and end all of sex , they vary from woman to woman , indeed , you may have had one and were so unimpressed or moved by the feeling you hardly noticed ...lol . think of it like a mountain , and the race to get to the top ...once there your elated for a few secconds , then you realise that u have to go back down the mountain ...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its like someone trying to describe what labour pain or a contraction is.. kinda impossible haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As far as I am aware, I tense up as I move closer to achieving the big O, and my playmates can feel my vaginal muscles tensing up and contracting too.

No faking it with me, as they can always tell when I reach climax or not by my muscle tone!

Orgasm is not be all and end all, as there are many things I enjoy, such as giving BJs and HJs, and to watch my playmates play with themselves until they climax over me etc.!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thoughts much appreciated ladies - getting the feeling that it's only a big deal when you've never had one. Have had guys suggest that I've had one and just haven't realised/noticed - I'm praying it's not that much of a disappointment!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to put less pressure on yourself and just enjoy what your doing, and if you get an orgasm wow, great.. if not.. then there is always next time..

I am saying this as with anything, pressure itself maybe stopping you managing it..

its a common problem and you sound like your doing all you can..

I will answer for you what it is like when I hold back..( which I was doing for a while) I would get the stage and then as I knew I would lose control, I would switch it off...

Now you mention that if you feel your fighting it that your closer.. I think you are meaning the total all over body ones that make your body tense and quiver.. before this I will find my thighs come together, I have to have closed or as closed as they can get legs... and the moment before I could happily pull off whoever is doing what they are doing. Yet then the build up carries on.. my nipples will hardern to the point of pain... and everything feels like it goes quiet.

THen as long as I let it, the most amazing feeling will wash over.. but I have to let it.. and I can not tell you how to do that..

It just happens...

Relax is the best info I can give you

Katie. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a bit like a sneeze ...approaching an orgasm is the 'ahh ahhh ahhhh' and getting there is the 'CHOOOO!!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have u tried playing with a bullet they are like a fail safe with me i have never failed to orgasm with one in fact its the one thing that never fails to make me gush and its the only thing i can think of i can use as a comparison to your situation for years i was pushing hubby away when i had extremely strong orgasms as i felt like i was going to wee myself but a friend told me that if i just went with that feeling and didn't push him away i would them achieve gushing which the next time it happened i didn't push him away and lo and behold i gushed like crazy

So maybe try a bullet and just let the feeling happen and i think i stay tense not relax not certain though will have to go and try to make certain lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I started to masturbate very young, and leant a lot about what I like and dislike with different gents through the years.

I often help myself to reach orgasm, using my hand or a toy, as I have yet to achieve it via penetration by the penis alone. Yes to fingering though.

To the OP, relax and enjoy the ride, good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tense up and my breathing becomes shallower, my hands clench, my legs clench, I dont hold back though, I just go with the flow and then bang it happens. Im not one of these moving slowing and luxuriously into orgasm, im a definite tense up and then explosion type. I can achieve it via oral, fingers and by penetration - thank god im a lucky girl lol. I always shout out when I come too, its usually oh my god im coming - in fact its always that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have the habbit of hitting/slapping my playmate as I climax, oops!

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington


"I have the habbit of hitting/slapping my playmate as I climax, oops! "

ooooh...yes...I sometimes do that Pearl usually accompanied by me saying(shouting )"yes...Yes.....YESSSSSSS"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually say "don't stop"!

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish


"As far as I am aware, I tense up as I move closer to achieving the big O, and my playmates can feel my vaginal muscles tensing up and contracting too.

"

I am the same...when I am getting close and during my muscles contract so much sometimes that they push a guy right out...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"Thoughts much appreciated ladies - getting the feeling that it's only a big deal when you've never had one. Have had guys suggest that I've had one and just haven't realised/noticed - I'm praying it's not that much of a disappointment!"

You will know when you have had one so don't let anyone tell you differently,when you're on your own just allow yourself to carry on with what your body is enjoying,don't stop and just let the sensations keep coming

good luck x

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington


"Thoughts appreciated x"

I'm inclined to say spend a lot of time masturbating...get to really know your own body and just go with the feelings. I agree with whoever said use a bullet (or my toy of preference - a Hitachi magic wand)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am bi made lots of woman cum xx and if you was local i would help you.. x its about relaxing and you can do that in all sorts of ways .... I can cum with toys ..... jets in my bath in my bed rooms .... mouths .... cocks playing with my clit ... getting horny looking at sexy things .. its about letting go and giving your body up to it ... I have even passed out having some .. as can have lots of little ones before the BIG O .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have the habbit of hitting/slapping my playmate as I climax, oops! "

the first time my playmate did this to me it took me by suprise.. but now i know she isnt trying to get me off. I just hang on for the ride lol

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