FabSwingers.com forum: The Single Swinger

By *adyPenelope OP Woman
over a year ago

worcestershire

On my profile it says that I am not looking to play with people who are married or in a relationship and yet...

I seem to come a cross a lot of people who advertise as single and think this is perfectly legitimate even though they are attached, because they play as single.

Is this fair?

Should people who are playing away from home be honest and up front, or is it their business and nothing to do with their swinging life style?

Should anything happen to their relationship due to swinging with me, should I feel guilty if I participate, or is it entirely their problem?

What are your opinions on this? It would be good to hear from both sides of the debate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cheaters are tosspots

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone

"On my profile it says that I am not looking to play with people who are married or in a relationship and yet...

I seem to come a cross a lot of people who advertise as single and think this is perfectly legitimate even though they are attached, because they play as single.

Is this fair?

Should people who are playing away from home be honest and up front, or is it their business and nothing to do with their swinging life style?

Should anything happen to their relationship due to swinging with me, should I feel guilty if I participate, or is it entirely their problem?

What are your opinions on this? It would be good to hear from both sides of the debate."

Nope not fair at all, but there are no status boxes to fill in on FAB. Think they should change that. I think a lot of people are generous with the truth though so it might still be abused if they do add it.

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By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

i hate the "im being honest with you " line when they tell you ...erm, its not me you need to be honest with!

ultimately tho, know your own boundaries and stick with them whatever they are , regardless of the judgements of others.

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone

"i hate the "im being honest with you " line when they tell you ...erm, its not me you need to be honest with!

ultimately tho, know your own boundaries and stick with them whatever they are , regardless of the judgements of others. "

Well im pretty open but wouldn't tell everything about me. But an open question should be answered honestly. It must be a little more difficult for women as i find attached women usually say.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

I do state in my profile that I am married

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there is a status box, it just doesnt show on profiles, i think it should do , or wots the point in it asking ya .

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone

"there is a status box, it just doesnt show on profiles, i think it should do , or wots the point in it asking ya ."

To be honest i didn't note on filling in things but yep it should show then you know where people are coming from

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"there is a status box, it just doesnt show on profiles, i think it should do , or wots the point in it asking ya .

To be honest i didn't note on filling in things but yep it should show then you know where people are coming from "

click on edit account, its there

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone

I'll look now. Do you think admin will add an "asshole" box to tick so we can all save some time with some messages

Ps im not meaning you as your just delectable *Slurp* *slurp*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Example 1:

A married couple who haven't had sex for a few years because the wife's sex drive has evaporated and she's just plain not interested in the physical side of a relationship. She loves her husband though, and he loves her. He has a high sex drive and she says it's ok for him to find lovers. Is he cheating?

Example 2:

A man suffers from impotence and has given up trying to find a remedy for it (I know it's a mind thing but let's not get into that). He has accepted that his sex life is effectively over and his wife has become his best friend and they still have a family to care for. Should she become celibate just because he is? Is it her fault he can't have sex? And if he's fine with her having lovers why should anyone else get upset about it? Is she cheating?

A player is a player and he/she will lie through their teeth to get what they want and you'll probably never know the truth anyway. If I was swinging as a single yet had a wife and kids back on the ranch - there's no way on this earth anyone would ever find out I was married. It's not a difficult secret to keep so I can only surmise that men who choose to disclose that they are married are either a) honest and have their wives permission, or b) stupid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On my profile it says that I am not looking to play with people who are married or in a relationship and yet...

I seem to come a cross a lot of people who advertise as single and think this is perfectly legitimate even though they are attached, because they play as single.

Is this fair?

Should people who are playing away from home be honest and up front, or is it their business and nothing to do with their swinging life style?

Should anything happen to their relationship due to swinging with me, should I feel guilty if I participate, or is it entirely their problem?

What are your opinions on this? It would be good to hear from both sides of the debate."

It not your problem, unless your looking for more than a NSA type fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...."

Bloody hell 'Mature in age' your only 40 (On your profile)

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By *adyPenelope OP Woman
over a year ago

worcestershire

There are a few reasons why I don't play with attached people at the moment.

I think it is easy to tell if someone is attached if like me you prefer to see someone more than once. The obvious being unable to accomodate and not always being available to meet, or they can only meet during the day or during the week etc.

I really don't like deception and like to treat people the way I want to be treated. By ignoring the fact that some poor partner is sat at home oblivious to what we're doing just feels like a total lack of respect for that person and their feelings.

However, if it is a person who does have the partners permission and can proove that then I don't see a problem, although again, I do prefer to meet guys who can accomodate as it's nice to get away from my family predicament (single parent) and chill. Clubs are great but there is more flexibility with a home to go to.

You will be surprised at how many men do tell you they have a gf after you have played. I'm not sure if it is because they assume you won't be able to resist them after the fun or because they assume it won't actually bother you. I just find it totally frustrating as I know I have stated that it is not my preference on my profile.

Life is one big dilema!

I think they should show status on here too. It would take out some of the guess work.

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By *adyPenelope OP Woman
over a year ago

worcestershire

Shame you can't edit what you right on here.

I meant there are tell tail signs for spotting attached people, not that it is always easy to spot them, otherwise I would not have a problem in the first place with this.

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone

"Shame you can't edit what you right on here.

I meant there are tell tail signs for spotting attached people, not that it is always easy to spot them, otherwise I would not have a problem in the first place with this."

The hubbie coughing from the wardrobe is often a give away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shame you can't edit what you right on here."

You can't edit, but you can delete and do it again, look under your message next time for the option only have a short while to do it mind.

I use (try) the 'spill chucker' on the google tool bar

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone

"Shame you can't edit what you right on here.

You can't edit, but you can delete and do it again, look under your message next time for the option only have a short while to do it mind.

I use (try) the 'spill chucker' on the google tool bar

Errr why go to all that trouble?

Use firefox as a browser. It has built in spell checker just like MS word.

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By *igBunnyWoman
over a year ago

My Town

What if you meet a man you think is single, he thinks he is a smart arse getting fun on the side, but his wife follows him. I wouldn't want to get caught up in their domestic.

Or what if the wife got his password and read all his emails from here?

She might get your number and be a nutter

I know a man, whose ex did that, changed his password and emailed all his cyber friends and emailed all the pics he had collected of women round the net!

His fault for playing around with people and telling lies, but it's not the fault of others lied to.

You have to be careful don't you.

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By *edhot4blkCouple
over a year ago

York/London/Crantock

i know someone will question what im about to type but i think im right.. swinging started off as mainly cpl to cpls..i think single guys came into it when they worked out it was cheaper and quicker to join swinging sites rather than fine a shag the normal way ie: going to pubs or nightclubs

so if this is right is a single guy a swinger, or is he a player..??? we all know of the married guys that say "" its ok my wife understands me "" yea sure she does..!!!!!!!..lmao

so i think the main question is why does a single guy have to go on a swinging site to find a shag instead of going about it in the normal way...xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So does this apply to single women??

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone

"i know someone will question what im about to type but i think im right.. swinging started off as mainly cpl to cpls..i think single guys came into it when they worked out it was cheaper and quicker to join swinging sites rather than fine a shag the normal way ie: going to pubs or nightclubs

so if this is right is a single guy a swinger, or is he a player..??? we all know of the married guys that say "" its ok my wife understands me "" yea sure she does..!!!!!!!..lmao

so i think the main question is why does a single guy have to go on a swinging site to find a shag instead of going about it in the normal way...xxxx"
An interesting point and to be honest as a single guy it is easier to go on other sites, but women on other sites are possibly looking for the “L” word. I would suspect there as many singles, both male and female as couples. Its more of a life style thing than a quickie. Well that’s the way I see it.

I like to think there is the friend. Buddy, get on thing but without strings attached. I will play with both singles and couples but only if I can get on with them as there is more to the experience than silent sex. Just an observation from a single but I like to think balanced bloke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It says married on my profile, although you can not see it.

Oh and I am not cheating or playing away from home lol.

I only fall into the single fem as I play on my own.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

"So does this apply to single women??"

It should do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

seems its always aimed at us single blokes and sounds like we shouldnt be on here!

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By *edhot4blkCouple
over a year ago

York/London/Crantock

TTR...a single woman doesnt need a site like this to get laid hun, as single guys do, speaking as a fem i can honestly say the right length skirt, 6" heels the right top and wonder bra underneath it will get me shagged where ever i choose to be...lol

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone

"TTR...a single woman doesnt need a site like this to get laid hun, as single guys do, speaking as a fem i can honestly say the right length skirt, 6" heels the right top and wonder bra underneath it will get me shagged where ever i choose to be...lol"

If i dressed like that i wouldn't!!!

But you are right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No wonder Bra Needed.. Just ask ff's!

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By *edhot4blkCouple
over a year ago

York/London/Crantock

didnt say i dressed like that all the time my darling but in dressing like that its very easy to obtain as a fem want u desire

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

But I still use the site

At least on here you have a degree of safety rather than hanging round a bar or club.

At least you can chat and get to know a person on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah but like alot of shopping in catalogues the seeing is sometimes not the same as the brouchure eh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well im sure it would apply to single women as well or they wouldnt be on here ! not that i really care what anyone thinks about me being on here

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone

"didnt say i dressed like that all the time my darling but in dressing like that its very easy to obtain as a fem want u desire"

i know what you mean and you have a good point. What i am saying is that not all men struggle and its not a last resort to come on line. Not wishing to blow my trumpet but i can chat to women out in bars.

There are lots of divorced women out there. Looking for a decent bloke. I could lead them on but im not like that. But it is very easy if you know what to do.

I come on here because its like minded people. There are many single women on here looking for NSA as well as couples.

Swinging i think means a little more than it did 10yrs ago i think.

But if im wrong then im happy to listen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would I feel guilty if it were to cause problems in his relationship?

No, I think id be doing her a favour!

As everyone says, honesty is the best policy. I dont have anything to worry about, so more fool those who do.

play with fire...you will ge burnt.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

To be honest with some of the comments made on here by some people, if we did care we'd have left well before now lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"would I feel guilty if it were to cause problems in his relationship?

No, I think id be doing her a favour!

As everyone says, honesty is the best policy. I dont have anything to worry about, so more fool those who do.

play with fire...you will ge burnt.

Big bag of coal here waiting to smoulder...

Lumpy but fun when you get past the initial dirt lol...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"would I feel guilty if it were to cause problems in his relationship?

No, I think id be doing her a favour!

As everyone says, honesty is the best policy. I dont have anything to worry about, so more fool those who do.

play with fire...you will ge burnt.

Big bag of coal here waiting to smoulder...

Lumpy but fun when you get past the initial dirt lol..."

you big tease...

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

in a lot of places if a guy dresses like that the same applies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didnt mean them lol

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

"To be honest with some of the comments made on here by some people, if we did care we'd have left well before now lol"

indeed ...let them without sin cast the first stone ....personally i like a bit of sinful living ...breaks the monotony and makes me feel freedom is obtainable

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

indeed ...let them without sin cast the first stone ....personally i like a bit of sinful living ...breaks the monotony and makes me feel freedom is obtainable

Oh and I have found freedom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if you meet a man you think is single, he thinks he is a smart arse getting fun on the side, but his wife follows him. I wouldn't want to get caught up in their domestic.

Or what if the wife got his password and read all his emails from here?

She might get your number and be a nutter

I know a man, whose ex did that, changed his password and emailed all his cyber friends and emailed all the pics he had collected of women round the net!

His fault for playing around with people and telling lies, but it's not the fault of others lied to.

You have to be careful don't you.

LOL This sounds sooooo familiar, Bunny! Do we know the same guy???? Or should I say, do we know the same lying cheating STUPID tosser?

I don't think his wife is a nutter, but I didn't like her emails (on his account) threatening to name me in their divorce, and the 'guilt trip' about being a home-wrecker ("what shall I tell our six children when they ask where their Daddy is?").

FFS, he told me he was single!

Then again, maybe she is a few sandwiches short of a picnic, since this was the second time he had done this.

Interestingly, he is back on here again, with a new profile, still claiming to be a 'single guy'. I'm tempted to phone his wife, and email all his 'friends', so that no-one else makes the same mistake that I did ..... Whaddya say?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love the new profile pic maybelline... nice .... um... eyes! hehehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its all in the eyes.

not around the eyes...and your under lol

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By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

"its all in the eyes.

not around the eyes...and your under lol

under who?

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By *adyPenelope OP Woman
over a year ago

worcestershire

[Removed by poster at 30/06/09 00:38:07]

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By *adyPenelope OP Woman
over a year ago

worcestershire

I turned to swinging nearly 5 years ago now to take control of my sex life. I hate one night stands, I like to know who I'm playing with (in the mane) and enjoy their company etc. Picking up guys at a normal nightclub is soooo not me, I hate the meat market.

I like being around friendly sexy people who know how to treat a lady and have some bedroom skills lol. So many guys out there are clueless and even worse when they are d*unk.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

[Removed by poster at 30/06/09 02:24:20]

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

2) Whilst I (personally) do not voice any disapproval for "married but claiming single", I do feel swinging (on any site) generally has the perception its okay to have a go at a male doing this, but welcome a female by simply dismissing as "oh, legitimate reason within her marriage - this is understandable" (whether or not the male had exactly the same situation)

I say, judge both or judge neither.

3) As for people not being honest - cheaters, plain and simple. If they are at least honest then its up to the individual person to choose.

4) There is actually a swing site that prides itself on the suggestibility that if a male cannot accomodate then he is married. Apart from the fact that there is no statistical proof of this, and there are various circumstances why ANYONE might not be able to accomodate, the same site however makes allowances for females that can't accomodate (see point 2 above)

5) What is the clear cut sign someone has live-in partner they're cheating on? They usually don't have condoms when they go to a meet or club (saves risking the evidence being found when she goes through his pockets before doing his laundry).

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"[Removed by poster at 30/06/09 02:24:20]"

Just to comment on a few posts (in no certain order):

1) IMHO - swinging is NOT "a cheaper way for a single guy to get a shag", because:

* Cost of (most) swing sites (ok, Fabs is free but I'm on more than one)

* Cost of entry/attending socials at clubs

* Cost of membership at said clubs

* Transportation (I don't drive)

* Cost of hotels (I accomodate but for some reason all my meets tend to be outside London as most Londoners complain "too close to home" pmsl)

* Cost of personal "effects" (condoms, lube, wipes, floggers, shower gel,...)

* Cost of refreshments (soft drinks, key deposits)

* Plus - emergency cash.

Estimate = £100 (minimum!)

Versus (night out in London club):

* Club entry (no membership needed): £5-15 (depending on place)

* Refreshments (depending how much I have): £5-15 (yes, am a cheap date)

* Cab home (£30, else free on my oyster if on my own).

Estimate = £50 (max)

Swinging is "cheaper"? Hell no - but its more rewarding, I build bonds, friendships and have fun with a new social circle that bring more to my life and I in turn hope I can bring as much.

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