FabSwingers.com forum: The elephant in the room

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've just read an article detailing how Stephen Fry tried to commit suicide, what he was thinking and feeling at the time and how he has tried to cope since.

Mental illness is still heavily stigmatised and under represented, many sufferers struggle with symptoms and don't ask for help.

I have had firsthand experience of what it can do to people and the families associated with those people. If you're struggling and don't know where to turn there are people who can help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately mental illness is not well understood by most people. Someone close to me had it and I was shocked by the lack of understanding by her friends.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Unfortunately mental illness is not well understood by most people. Someone close to me had it and I was shocked by the lack of understanding by her friends."

Its all the "just shake it off" comments or the "yes I feel sad too." Many people don't realise how it makes a person feel worthless and push away their friends and close family

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes you can't just "man up" it doesn't work like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find Mindfulness keeps me grounded and calm .

I believe it should be taught in schools . To hive people a tool box of strategies to help them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find Mindfulness keeps me grounded and calm .

I believe it should be taught in schools . To hive people a tool box of strategies to help them

It's a good idea, especially with so many young people struggling with mental illness. It wouldn't help everyone, but it might help some people with less severe depression. Rach xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find Mindfulness keeps me grounded and calm .

I believe it should be taught in schools . To hive people a tool box of strategies to help them

Mindfulness is great but doesn't work when your mind is broken. The most common misconception about clinical depression is you can think your way out of it, when you are incapable of thinking. Being a bit down about something and depression don't have the same treatments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately mental illness is not well understood by most people. Someone close to me had it and I was shocked by the lack of understanding by her friends.

Its all the "just shake it off" comments or the "yes I feel sad too." Many people don't realise how it makes a person feel worthless and push away their friends and close family"

Yes it is.... They wouldn't say shake it off to someone who has a heartattack.. It's an unseen very stigmatised illness.... But things are slowly changing.. Especially with people in the public eye coming forward... And the unfortunate deaths of some who where suffering. People need to realise anyone can get Ill be in no matter how great your life is..... The one line that pisses me off the most is 'what have they got to be depressed about?'... I saw en a lady post on here the other day about feeling depressed and someone told her' this isn't the place '... ANY PLACE IS THE PLACE... Sometimes people feel more comfortable talking to strangers.. And as long as they are talking someone can point them in the right direction for professional help.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I find Mindfulness keeps me grounded and calm .

I believe it should be taught in schools . To hive people a tool box of strategies to help them

And that's the problem that people dont know the difference, its like trying to mend a broken leg with aspirin.

In my experience people dont understand nor know how to help a person with mental illness

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I will happily admit I was off work for with depression for 2 months, I just did not want to get out of bed and go to the office.

Though that was the final straw

I had been going in a bad place for the previous couple of years. My mates had noticed I wasn't going out, I had stopped being active in the scene

In the end I ended up going to doctors and seeking counciling - that was 3 years ago this summer. Tbh there have been times I have been close to meeting the elephant but now if I get like it I go to the gym or go for a walk with my camera

I agree more needs to be done especially for men's mental health

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find Mindfulness keeps me grounded and calm .

I believe it should be taught in schools . To hive people a tool box of strategies to help them

It is... But clinical depression needs medical treatment also... Clinical Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain... Mindfulness or cbt won't help alone. I but will sid along side medical treatment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find Mindfulness keeps me grounded and calm .

I believe it should be taught in schools . To hive people a tool box of strategies to help them

Exactly what I wanted to say, you just found a good way to word it! I think in some cases where it's not very severe it could work. I was diagnosed with something along the lines of mild depression when I was at school, and because I was still capable of positive thoughts I have more or less been able to think myself out of it. My sister however is in a place where no number of positive thoughts would help her. And there's still no understanding or acceptance for her. She's lucky that most of her friends do understand, but they understand through experience, not empathy.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

I think it's important to differentiate between mental illness, depression and just feeling sad.

Mental illness is what it says, an illness that requires proper medical treatment of one form or another.

Depression is a feeling of hopelessness or sadness for no apparent reason. It can be considered a form of mental illness requiring treatment but, in a lot of cases, it will simply pass.

Feeling sad is a perfectly natural reaction to a bad situation; for example loosing your job, close relative dying or breakdown of an intermit relationship. It is not a mental illness nor depression and should not be treated as such. In fact treating 'feeling sad' as an illness can actually lead to long-term depression and mental illness. We need to understand that life is a very mixed bag and sometimes it will make us feel sad, sometimes it will make us feel happy. There natural feelings should be left to run their course without intervention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never suffered from depression and I'll freely admit that I find it very hard to understand. When your own mind doesn't work that way, it's difficult to relate to because you've got no way to anchor it to your own experience. Everyone has suffered from a physical illness of some sort, broken a bone or felt pain, so you can relate to that, but with this - you can't.

So it's incumbent on people to try to understand, or at least accept that they don't understand and make sure they treat everyone with an appropriate level of sensitivity, even if they don't 'get' it - but I think people who do suffer from depression probably also need to accept that actually it's not an easy thing to understand from the outside.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it's important to differentiate between mental illness, depression and just feeling sad.

Mental illness is what it says, an illness that requires proper medical treatment of one form or another.

Depression is a feeling of hopelessness or sadness for no apparent reason. It can be considered a form of mental illness requiring treatment but, in a lot of cases, it will simply pass.

I would say that if depression simply passes then its not necessarily what it is. Most sufferers learn to deal or live with the feelings and repress the emotions, to all intents and purposes they look the same but they carry it around.

Mental illness in all its guises is insidious and the worst symptom is it makes the sufferer feel less than worthy of peoples attention and support so they try and hide it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Several family members have suffered mental illness one to the extent that they've been sectioned twice. Help for them is sparse and for their families non existent the effects are devastating on them all.

It's very difficult for people to understand or sympathise because for centuries mentally ill people have been demonised, outcast, ridiculed and persecuted...we still do it now. I think more famous people speaking out will help to a degree but mental illness isn't glamorous, it doesn't have the image that makes the media watching public feel sympathy and understanding and its frightening because it isn't marketed as being curable if enough money is thrown at it in the same way that the more popular illnesses often are.

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By *r H and Good PetCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

*mental illness solidarity post*

Not really gonna detail my own mental health issues, but just wanted to say I see you all.

Be kind to yourselves.

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've just read an article detailing how Stephen Fry tried to commit suicide, what he was thinking and feeling at the time and how he has tried to cope since.

Mental illness is still heavily stigmatised and under represented, many sufferers struggle with symptoms and don't ask for help.

Recognising the symptoms is one of the difficulties - and feeling safe to express them. Some mental illness makes those who suffer paranoid as a symptom, so it's a self-perpetuating circle. The time to talk campaign which started last Friday has some great reading material and I like the fact it's encouraging openness. Give someone a smile today and share a brew, it could make all the difference.

Sarah

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've just read an article detailing how Stephen Fry tried to commit suicide, what he was thinking and feeling at the time and how he has tried to cope since.

Mental illness is still heavily stigmatised and under represented, many sufferers struggle with symptoms and don't ask for help.

Sarah "

An issue that people don't grasp as well is that need to talk, friends think I they've talked about it then its done and that's that but the sufferer needs to have the same conversation time and again, they need that support

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Op, stephen fry is an excellent ambassador for mental health. He managers to put things across in such an excellent way.

He talks about and others experiences. He has an excellent DVD I think it's called secret life of a manic depressive. Where different people talk a out their experiences.

People with mental illness all suffer in different ways and cope in different ways.

I do think it's hard for others to understand as someome with "depression" may show may show similar outward signs to others, with it. But its getting to know each person and how it affects them.

What will work for one won't work for another

Then all the different medication, self help therapies talking therapies.

It's an awful lot of trial and error finding what works best for each individual to have their best quality of life.

Understanding your illness I mean really understanding it, knowing how it affects you and your best coping methods what ever they maybe.

Also acceptance total acceptance. Knowing that you can have all the coping strategies in the world but there are times when your to far gone to put any of it into practice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive suffered and its also my job - i deal with sufferers every day and it is very misunderstood and people are scared of it - usually unnecessarily

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"ive suffered and its also my job - i deal with sufferers every day and it is very misunderstood and people are scared of it - usually unnecessarily "

That's part of it though, its the mystery that surrounds it

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