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I know I'm really shallow...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"

Of course you can, honesty doesn't have to be delivered in a cruel manner...

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Yes you can. I've asked for a pic before, and when I've received it they're not for me, so I reply "thanks but you're not my type"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just reply with a 'thanks but no thanks'.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Of course you can... We do.

Just say thanks but you're not for me

Nita

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!

Of course you can, honesty doesn't have to be delivered in a cruel manner..."

exactly this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's wrong with no thanks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just delete and move on...dont let yourself open to the few who send abuse back because of rejection then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"

This happened to me a few times when I was here under my singles profile and what I did and it was very harsh but I blocked them, I know I know it's awful and I did feel bad but this is why I put on my profile for a face pic first in the end, if they didn't supply one in their first message I didn't reply. (Harder if they are on the forum of course!)

G X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not.... there has to be some attraction otherwise whats the point?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"

I'm sure your vocabulary is such that you can say no thanks without being offensive!

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By *p4funCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth


"Of course you can... We do.

Just say thanks but you're not for me

Nita"

This just be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes of course you can ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what you mean is that you don't show them a pic first cos you are afraid of rejection yourself? lol.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!

Of course you can, honesty doesn't have to be delivered in a cruel manner...

exactly this "

Not difficult is it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is it shallow not to find someone attractive? I don't get it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So what you mean is that you don't show them a pic first cos you are afraid of rejection yourself? lol."

No shes one of the you play your card 1st. No attraction no piccy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"
hey many do say that or sorry not my type even some women who you actually think aren't that great yourself they've maybe approached you first but hey most take it on chin and move on or just block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"

hey its your profile and your choices , if you don't fancy some one just say so . if they are a decent chap then they will just smile and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"

perhaps drop the um, a simple no thanks is perfectly acceptable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it shallow not to find someone attractive? I don't get it."

I certainly find mrs attractive....with respect to the mr of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I ever send a pic and get a reply... thanks but not my type etc... I send one more reply thanking them for their honesty, and then move on.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!

perhaps drop the um, a simple no thanks is perfectly acceptable "

Yes, the "um" comes across as superior and a little bit classless...

And I've had plenty of no's after sending a face pic, you just take the rough with the smooth...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So what you mean is that you don't show them a pic first cos you are afraid of rejection yourself? lol.

No shes one of the you play your card 1st. No attraction no piccy. "
I see yes, meaning very high standards lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it shallow not to find someone attractive? I don't get it."

Exactly, not everyone finds the same things attractive. If you are going to be on a swingers site you need to be adult enough to not take it as a personal insult.

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By *quirrelMan
over a year ago

East Manchester

Would rather receive a polite thanks for your interest but "I am not sure we would be a good match". Than to get nothing in return and then blocked. Saying No doesn't have to be rude or insulting, just be diplomatic in your reply.

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!

Of course you can, honesty doesn't have to be delivered in a cruel manner...

exactly this

Not difficult is it? "

Nope not at all quite simple really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had it said to me so many times it's like water off a duck's back

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"

Whats the alternative? Fuck everyone who sends you a message? Get ready for an inbox full of pics lol

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Sorry not my type

Sorry not what I'm looking for

Sorry I don't think where compatable.

Just think of how you would like it said if someone wasn't attracted to you.

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

I've sent thank you for the message but you're not my type replies. Then had why not....

x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it shallow not to find someone attractive? I don't get it.

I certainly find mrs attractive....with respect to the mr of course "

Who, me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it shallow not to find someone attractive? I don't get it.

I certainly find mrs attractive....with respect to the mr of course

Who, me?"

oh yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"

Of course. "Not my cup

If tea" is one of my favourites. Or just say you're not for me.

Come on with the amount of close ups and cock shots you're entitled to ask for a face pic.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Leave people feeling all the better for having your lives touching somehow, however briefly.

They're not to your taste? There is no need to hurt and insult others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"

Yeah gotta be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say no or delete and block it's not a problem and .....hang on....was it me???? No, on second thoughts you can't say that. You have to meet him, maybe he looks better in the flesh. Maybe you can take out the light bulb and have a large paper bag handy. See you soon. X

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong


"Yes you can. I've asked for a pic before, and when I've received it they're not for me, so I reply "thanks but you're not my type""

This what I do xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wrong forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it shallow not to find someone attractive? I don't get it.

I certainly find mrs attractive....with respect to the mr of course

Who, me?

oh yes"

Awh thank you darl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it shallow not to find someone attractive? I don't get it.

I certainly find mrs attractive....with respect to the mr of course

Who, me?

oh yes

Awh thank you darl "

Anytime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your box is shallow, i would suggest that you stay away from BBC's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just delete and move on...dont let yourself open to the few who send abuse back because of rejection then "

I totally disagree with this. I have rejected people and pretty much never had abuse. All this abuse people supposedly get must be caused by something...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok thanks for the responses.

Firstly, when I said 'um no thanks' on my original post I meant that I would maybe think that. I would never say that to anybody. Neither would I ever be anything but polite. And I think the fact that I've asked this question shows that I'm worried about hurting people's feelings so certainly wouldn't ever be cruel or rude.

And for the smart arses I do not think I am superior to anybody! Far from it.

But bloody right I have standards!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it shallow not to find someone attractive? I don't get it."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

But bloody right I have standards! "

As well you should

Need a thicker skin if you get offended by a 'no thanks'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wrong forum

"

Why is it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just delete and move on...dont let yourself open to the few who send abuse back because of rejection then

I totally disagree with this. I have rejected people and pretty much never had abuse. All this abuse people supposedly get must be caused by something... "

You may....many others wouldn't

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So what you mean is that you don't show them a pic first cos you are afraid of rejection yourself? lol.

No shes one of the you play your card 1st. No attraction no piccy. I see yes, meaning very high standards lol."

I quite often will send my.pics first even though of course I'm afraid of rejection!

I certainly don't play by the rule no attraction no pic..and high standards?well maybe they are high but why shouldn't they be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So what you mean is that you don't show them a pic first cos you are afraid of rejection yourself? lol.

No shes one of the you play your card 1st. No attraction no piccy. I see yes, meaning very high standards lol.

I quite often will send my.pics first even though of course I'm afraid of rejection!

I certainly don't play by the rule no attraction no pic..and high standards?well maybe they are high but why shouldn't they be?"

SHAG????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't sound shallow at all to me, so long as you tell them politely that they're not for you, no need to be harsh about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So what you mean is that you don't show them a pic first cos you are afraid of rejection yourself? lol.

No shes one of the you play your card 1st. No attraction no piccy. I see yes, meaning very high standards lol.

I quite often will send my.pics first even though of course I'm afraid of rejection!

I certainly don't play by the rule no attraction no pic..and high standards?well maybe they are high but why shouldn't they be?

SHAG???? "

Haha yeah ok

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By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

St Neots

I've been polite and said that and got a load of abuse back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So what you mean is that you don't show them a pic first cos you are afraid of rejection yourself? lol.

No shes one of the you play your card 1st. No attraction no piccy. I see yes, meaning very high standards lol.

I quite often will send my.pics first even though of course I'm afraid of rejection!

I certainly don't play by the rule no attraction no pic..and high standards?well maybe they are high but why shouldn't they be?

SHAG???? "
Yes, been busy preparing meal number 4, some chicken. and that is right as you can have them standards, yeah I guess as here are so many males you have to have some kind of rules x.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just had this happen ....

Sent the female a pic of me, and asked if I may have one in return, they have looked at the message and now seem to have stopped all communication

she messaged me first, so it isn't a case of me doing all the running around... maybe she didn't like me, but I wouldn't be offended if she said I wasn't her type after all, but why would she take the time to message me in the first instance then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive been brave and sent the op a face picture. I dont matter mind being a guinea pig for her 1st no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive been brave and sent the op a face picture. I dont matter mind being a guinea pig for her 1st no thanks "

I was tempted to do this

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ive been brave and sent the op a face picture. I dont matter mind being a guinea pig for her 1st no thanks "

Gorgeous thankyou!!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Just had this happen ....

Sent the female a pic of me, and asked if I may have one in return, they have looked at the message and now seem to have stopped all communication

she messaged me first, so it isn't a case of me doing all the running around... maybe she didn't like me, but I wouldn't be offended if she said I wasn't her type after all, but why would she take the time to message me in the first instance then?

"
I would of thought it was because she didn't like the look of you. That's why majority of the messages I send are to guys with a face picture. I'm not hungup on looks but I've got to think they look nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've sent thank you for the message but you're not my type replies. Then had why not....

x"

This is exactly what Mrs says too, and often they will ask why not!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"

You can say "lovely photo, but you're not my type - good luck and happy swinging x" then block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they introduce the 'swinging contract' (as per another thread) then sending a face pic may tie the recipient into at least a quickie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"

Of course not, but it works both ways.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Absolutely it works both ways!

And I will take any rejection on the chin!

Just mindful of not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings!! Sorry about that..silly me!

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 06/02/16 19:57:38]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive been brave and sent the op a face picture. I dont matter mind being a guinea pig for her 1st no thanks

Gorgeous thankyou!!"

Ditto

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"Just had this happen ....

Sent the female a pic of me, and asked if I may have one in return, they have looked at the message and now seem to have stopped all communication

she messaged me first, so it isn't a case of me doing all the running around... maybe she didn't like me, but I wouldn't be offended if she said I wasn't her type after all, but why would she take the time to message me in the first instance then?

I would of thought it was because she didn't like the look of you. That's why majority of the messages I send are to guys with a face picture. I'm not hungup on looks but I've got to think they look nice"

Meh... I get these all the time too, leave them with the pic, if my face fits then ok, if not, no big deal...

I can't stress it enough there is always something better round the corner.

Never have I been rejected for anything and relatively soon after something better didn't come along.

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By *ongue twistedMan
over a year ago

Holyhead

Personally I'd prefer a no thanks of some sorts. Anyone that has a problem with rejection can always be blocked. Chances are that they'll keep pestering you anyway. Might aswel add those few to your block list and give more time to the people who's messages you do want to get back to.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

It's a bit of a smash in the face of confidence with a bottle of bleach when all messages are good and 'we like you' types to and fro then when I send a face pic.....zilch.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I totally disagree with this. I have rejected people and pretty much never had abuse. All this abuse people supposedly get must be caused by something... "

I've had some but most guys are fine when you say no thanks

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"It's a bit of a smash in the face of confidence with a bottle of bleach when all messages are good and 'we like you' types to and fro then when I send a face pic.....zilch. "

Did I reply?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"It's a bit of a smash in the face of confidence with a bottle of bleach when all messages are good and 'we like you' types to and fro then when I send a face pic.....zilch.

Did I reply? "

I think you did. Thank you . It's a percentage game and it's running about 80/20 in favour of Frankenstein.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Leave people feeling all the better for having your lives touching somehow, however briefly.

"

Exactly. I reserve the right not to reply at all to unsolicited mail, but if I have asked for a face pic and don't like it the only decent thing to do is to KINDLY let them know by saying something like 'Aww I'm sorry honey you're not quite my type after all, good luck!!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"
your profile says you're not meeting but you met two guys at same time on 5th !!!!

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By *ub_liminalTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Belfast


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"

Not at all, the laws of attraction aren't democratic or negotiable.

You can polity thank someone for their interest and mail and wish them luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!your profile says you're not meeting but you met two guys at same time on 5th !!!! "

Yeah..that looks bad huh!!

But actually I didn't meet them both on the 5th..It just happens that they both left their verifications on that day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!your profile says you're not meeting but you met two guys at same time on 5th !!!!

Yeah..that looks bad huh!!

But actually I didn't meet them both on the 5th..It just happens that they both left their verifications on that day!"
but you actually said something about doing another 3some !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!your profile says you're not meeting but you met two guys at same time on 5th !!!!

Yeah..that looks bad huh!!

But actually I didn't meet them both on the 5th..It just happens that they both left their verifications on that day! but you actually said something about doing another 3some !! "
one of your veris said hope all 3 of us can meet again ?

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"

Why are you asking for pics? The answer probably answers your question ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been told no thanks after sending a face pic before, and I've also said no thanks to people who have sent me a face pic before.

Doesnt mean that you don't like them as a person, only means you don't find them physically attractive.

Everyone has personal preferences in what they are seeking, don't feel bad that your expressing your own.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!your profile says you're not meeting but you met two guys at same time on 5th !!!!

Yeah..that looks bad huh!!

But actually I didn't meet them both on the 5th..It just happens that they both left their verifications on that day! but you actually said something about doing another 3some !! "

s that guy and his wife!! Completely separate from the other verification left on the same day!

I don't control when people leave veris! !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just say sorry not for you -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just choose another reply. Thank you but,I don't think we would be suited'.Simples

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks everyone for the sensible responses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks everyone for the sensible responses "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks everyone for the sensible responses "

I don't know what came over me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks everyone for the sensible responses

I don't know what came over me"

I can but dream

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!your profile says you're not meeting but you met two guys at same time on 5th !!!!

Yeah..that looks bad huh!!

But actually I didn't meet them both on the 5th..It just happens that they both left their verifications on that day! but you actually said something about doing another 3some !! one of your veris said hope all 3 of us can meet again ? "

What has that got to do with the question?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!your profile says you're not meeting but you met two guys at same time on 5th !!!!

Yeah..that looks bad huh!!

But actually I didn't meet them both on the 5th..It just happens that they both left their verifications on that day! but you actually said something about doing another 3some !! one of your veris said hope all 3 of us can meet again ?

What has that got to do with the question? "

Yes this. .Thanks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!your profile says you're not meeting but you met two guys at same time on 5th !!!!

Yeah..that looks bad huh!!

But actually I didn't meet them both on the 5th..It just happens that they both left their verifications on that day! but you actually said something about doing another 3some !! one of your veris said hope all 3 of us can meet again ? "

Mind your own business springs to mind here. Shouldn't you have a bit more common sense and stop grilling the OP publicly about something which isn't YOUR business?

Got to have some patience here...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In combination with chatting? We all meet people who are very attractive physically but are right bastards otherwise.

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By *adystephanieTV/TS
over a year ago

glos

no it's very rude.....you should be nice and refuse in a polite manner .....like sorry I don't do Mingers..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some you like some you don't

is no big deal

if the fugleys can't handle rejection it's their problem

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!your profile says you're not meeting but you met two guys at same time on 5th !!!!

Yeah..that looks bad huh!!

But actually I didn't meet them both on the 5th..It just happens that they both left their verifications on that day! but you actually said something about doing another 3some !! one of your veris said hope all 3 of us can meet again ? "

Fucking hell...who are you, the verification police? She didn't ask for a critique of her profile or a run down of he last meets analysed to within an inch of their life!! (random tapping of selfie crap just to make it look like I fit in!)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hehehehe

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