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Im getting to old for this

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Here we go again, third date with someone I assume to be vanilla, by my own rules I have to disclose about kink and swinging, but I tell ya, I'm not looking forward to a storm out, a slap, or a "just going to the loo" never to see her again.

I'm getting too old for this shit lol

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

But surely it's best to be honest, at least your not waiting until feelings develop or spending your life with someome you couldn't be honest with.

And if you are compatable then bingo

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"But surely it's best to be honest, at least your not waiting until feelings develop or spending your life with someome you couldn't be honest with.

And if you are compatable then bingo"

That's why I'm going to tell all, its only fair, I would like things to progress, but I'm.not going to lie to get sex, that's not me.

Still see what happens eh

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"But surely it's best to be honest, at least your not waiting until feelings develop or spending your life with someome you couldn't be honest with.

And if you are compatable then bingo"

Or maybe a drink and sex? I'd rather that than bingo.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Why don't you wait until after you have shagged her to tell her?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"But surely it's best to be honest, at least your not waiting until feelings develop or spending your life with someome you couldn't be honest with.

And if you are compatable then bingo

Or maybe a drink and sex? I'd rather that than bingo. "

Ohh I dunno, the national is a big money game, I could do with that LOL

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I admire your honesty. If I have a relationship I won't be admitting to having done this sadly. I'm not ashamed I just dont think a guy would react well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" Why don't you wait until after you have shagged her to tell her?"

Because I'm a gentleman, now re read your question and imagine someone had said that to someone about a female relative that you cared about, its not nice to be honest, but I ain't mad at ya

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular


" Why don't you wait until after you have shagged her to tell her?

Because I'm a gentleman, now re read your question and imagine someone had said that to someone about a female relative that you cared about, its not nice to be honest, but I ain't mad at ya "

I was brought up to tell the truth I've said a lot worse

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I admire your honesty. If I have a relationship I won't be admitting to having done this sadly. I'm not ashamed I just dont think a guy would react well."

I'm.guessing that you will.be stopping if you.meet someone though, I wont, this is me, it took me a long time to be comfortable with who I am, and I'm not going to hide it from the people close to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She may react well , you never know. B and I were matched highly on OK Cupid. Not releasing we were both kinky !

Sarah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Why don't you wait until after you have shagged her to tell her?

Because I'm a gentleman, now re read your question and imagine someone had said that to someone about a female relative that you cared about, its not nice to be honest, but I ain't mad at ya "

It would be a good idea to have sex first , then tell her .

When she says that was great , you can tell her there's much more to come . She may be more willing to engage in the kink side if you're any good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone who storms out or slaps you other this is someone to avoid - bullet well and truly dodged!

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"I admire your honesty. If I have a relationship I won't be admitting to having done this sadly. I'm not ashamed I just dont think a guy would react well.

I'm.guessing that you will.be stopping if you.meet someone though, I wont, this is me, it took me a long time to be comfortable with who I am, and I'm not going to hide it from the people close to me"

Yes I would stop, though I do love this lifestyle. I'm not saying it would be easy to walk away but that's what I would want.

Do you have any idea how she will react? How do you even go about finding someone vanilla but potentially compatible with this lifestyle?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Someone who storms out or slaps you other this is someone to avoid - bullet well and truly dodged!

"

I'd just as sooner not get slapped in public though, or wait for her to finish screaming "get away from me you fucking pervert" as she walks out , so I can say "cheque please!" LOL

Best outcome for me is that she asks for my fab profile name, and shows me some pictures that made it to k&p LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you actually had that happen on previous Vanilla?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/02/16 19:22:15]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have you actually had that happen on previous Vanilla?"

Yeah, a shake of the head and the word, "disgusting" muttered under her breath

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By *ewbies201Couple
over a year ago

lisburn

Before fab,if it would have been mentioned to me, I would probably have left for the loo too .

I assume you're not mentioning on 1st date but getting to know each other a bit first?

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Yeah it's a difficult one isn't it... You have to be honest though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Why don't you wait until after you have shagged her to tell her?

Because I'm a gentleman, now re read your question and imagine someone had said that to someone about a female relative that you cared about, its not nice to be honest, but I ain't mad at ya

It would be a good idea to have sex first , then tell her .

When she says that was great , you can tell her there's much more to come . She may be more willing to engage in the kink side if you're any good "

Even though I'd normally advocate immediate and Frank honesty - I can see gloswingers point and tend to agree in this case! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems a bit of an obvious question, but where are you meeting these dates anyway?

That is, is it from the real world, or dating sites or fab/ fet etc. ?

Wouldn't it be better meeting someone from within the lifestyle ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Seems a bit of an obvious question, but where are you meeting these dates anyway?

That is, is it from the real world, or dating sites or fab/ fet etc. ?

Wouldn't it be better meeting someone from within the lifestyle ? "

Well this particular lady, works in a shop near my sons school, its not like I've been looking for a relationship, its just that I find her attractive, she asked me if I wanted to go for a drink.

I don't do vanilla dating sites, if I did meet someone on here that would be perfect, but I can't see it happening

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a bit of a minefield.

They may not want to play but you can't change your past.

In my view it makes them closed minded somehow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you looking for someone to settle down with or someone to join you in the swinging world? If I met someone who wanted to date me I wouldn't feel the need to tell him all about my past sexual history. Would I have to tell him about my relationship with my ex husband too? My past is my business,his past is his.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/02/16 23:49:29]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish there was an edit button.

Anywho, I tend to think that when on dates most women don't tend to enjoy discussing other women their date has been with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Imagine the scenario, I keep it mum about my sexuality, we develop strong feelings for each other, six months down the line, I'm itching for leather, rope and steel, I'm acting strangely, she gets susoicous, looks at my history, and finds links to websites that make 50 shades of grey look like love actually, she is in shock, she thinks I'm a weirdo that's hiding some pretty weird shit from her, in the space of time between making this discovery, and confronting me with it she is hurting, she is sacred, she is praying I'm not some kind if serial killer, because let's face it, bdsm can look very extreme to the vanilla eye.and you van argue that she shouldn't look at my internet history, but she's down the rabbit hole now, no going back.

She confronts me. I see how much this is hurting her, she leaves, and I feel like the worst kind of person I could be.

and all for the sake of not being honest?, is it worth all that agro?

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