FabSwingers.com forum: Auntie Cheekychops

By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

This thread is for all of you to share your problems...I've a strong shoulder this evening

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh bless ya hun. I don't think they're strong enough for mine.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Oh bless ya hun. I don't think they're strong enough for mine.

Have vodka and think fuck it that's my motto

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have Tiger Balm but no one to rub it in?

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I have Tiger Balm but no one to rub it in?"

Awww rub it on the flange and think of England

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I start tonight then I won't stop.

I'm off to get a cider.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have Tiger Balm but no one to rub it in?

Awww rub it on the flange and think of England

Or A+E!!!!

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"If I start tonight then I won't stop.

I'm off to get a cider.

-Courtney "

Ohhh have a chaser with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have Tiger Balm but no one to rub it in?"

Waves.....

Checks distance.

Puts chair on table.

Stands on chair.

Waves lots more.......

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I have Tiger Balm but no one to rub it in?

Awww rub it on the flange and think of England

Or A+E!!!!

Good call there will be some juicy doctors...oh there is a thought shagging a doctor in his scrubs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I start tonight then I won't stop.

I'm off to get a cider.

-Courtney "

Liquid apples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Three white hens and four black hens lay as many eggs in five days as two white hens and four black hens lay in six days. Which colour hen lays the greatest number of eggs?

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"If I start tonight then I won't stop.

I'm off to get a cider.

-Courtney

Liquid apples.

One of her 5 a day

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

How can I get a six pack like wot shag tonight has without eating meat and not living in a gym? And do ladies prefer a flatter stomach or something with a bit of bounce and bouyancy?

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Three white hens and four black hens lay as many eggs in five days as two white hens and four black hens lay in six days. Which colour hen lays the greatest number of eggs?

Fuck knows

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"How can I get a six pack like wot shag tonight has without eating meat and not living in a gym? And do ladies prefer a flatter stomach or something with a bit of bounce and bouyancy? "

I like a bit of bounce

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep finding loose change in drawers and down the side of the sofa. Is this the spiders in my house actually paying me rent?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I start tonight then I won't stop.

I'm off to get a cider.

-Courtney

Liquid apples.

One of her 5 a day

Are we still talking apples?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One word: Norwich

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I start tonight then I won't stop.

I'm off to get a cider.

-Courtney

Liquid apples.

One of her 5 a day

Are we still talking apples?

I think I might have more than one. Of apples and the other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Three white hens and four black hens lay as many eggs in five days as two white hens and four black hens lay in six days. Which colour hen lays the greatest number of eggs?

Goodness knows

and you know what I do for a living so double

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I keep finding loose change in drawers and down the side of the sofa. Is this the spiders in my house actually paying me rent?

Eww you dirty bugger clean ya yard

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"One word: Norwich

Support a better team

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And why is it the rule, “There are exceptions to every rule” is the only rule without exception, making itself the exception to the rule.

And now my head hurts

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Three white hens and four black hens lay as many eggs in five days as two white hens and four black hens lay in six days. Which colour hen lays the greatest number of eggs?

Goodness knows

and you know what I do for a living so double

I'm going with black

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One word: Norwich

Can't be as bad as Newcastle

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"And why is it the rule, “There are exceptions to every rule” is the only rule without exception, making itself the exception to the rule.

And now my head hurts"

Go and stand in the corner and think about your actions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh bless ya hun. I don't think they're strong enough for mine.

Have vodka and think fuck it that's my motto

I'm out of vodka, can I share yours please?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Three white hens and four black hens lay as many eggs in five days as two white hens and four black hens lay in six days. Which colour hen lays the greatest number of eggs?

Goodness knows

and you know what I do for a living so double

I'm going with black

Well I'd go black so a 50-50 chance between us

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By *arksMan
over a year ago

in the centre

Bungle off Rainbow used to wear pyjamas for bed but walk round naked during the day , its always bothered me why he did this

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Bungle off Rainbow used to wear pyjamas for bed but walk round naked during the day , its always bothered me why he did this"

Because of zippy the dirty bugger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh bless ya hun. I don't think they're strong enough for mine.

Have vodka and think fuck it that's my motto

I'm out of vodka, can I share yours please?

I guess you're talking to cheeky.

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By *arksMan
over a year ago

in the centre

"Bungle off Rainbow used to wear pyjamas for bed but walk round naked during the day , its always bothered me why he did this

Because of zippy the dirty bugger

Always had george down as the " behinid closed doors sexual dynamo "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh bless ya hun. I don't think they're strong enough for mine.

Have vodka and think fuck it that's my motto

I'm out of vodka, can I share yours please?

I guess you're talking to cheeky.

Curvygirl, would love to share vodka with you also if you have some

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh bless ya hun. I don't think they're strong enough for mine.

Have vodka and think fuck it that's my motto

I'm out of vodka, can I share yours please?

I guess you're talking to cheeky.

Curvygirl, would love to share vodka with you also if you have some

I've a whole unopened bottle here!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And to those people who say money can't buy you happiness. Well it can buy you a jet ski and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? No didn't think so, it's impossible to be sad on a jet ski

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Three white hens and four black hens lay as many eggs in five days as two white hens and four black hens lay in six days. Which colour hen lays the greatest number of eggs?

Goodness knows

and you know what I do for a living so double

Are you a farmer? Tell me you are, that'd be cool!

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Oh bless ya hun. I don't think they're strong enough for mine.

Have vodka and think fuck it that's my motto

I'm out of vodka, can I share yours please?

I guess you're talking to cheeky.

Curvygirl, would love to share vodka with you also if you have some

I've a whole unopened bottle here!!

It's calling you both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh bless ya hun. I don't think they're strong enough for mine.

Have vodka and think fuck it that's my motto

I'm out of vodka, can I share yours please?

I guess you're talking to cheeky.

Curvygirl, would love to share vodka with you also if you have some

I've a whole unopened bottle here!!

I'm happy to share with anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh bless ya hun. I don't think they're strong enough for mine.

Have vodka and think fuck it that's my motto

I'm out of vodka, can I share yours please?

I guess you're talking to cheeky.

Curvygirl, would love to share vodka with you also if you have some

I've a whole unopened bottle here!!

It's calling you both

Vodka party

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

My problem is, is it too late to have a vodka?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My problem is, is it too late to have a vodka?

No, just an early Friday drink.

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By *arksMan
over a year ago

in the centre

"My problem is, is it too late to have a vodka?

pretend you're in the bahama's and its only like 5.30pm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One word: Norwich

It's the quiz of the week! Delia smith pies and a darn good pub by the river

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

"My problem is, is it too late to have a vodka?

never too late to have a vodka

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Three white hens and four black hens lay as many eggs in five days as two white hens and four black hens lay in six days. Which colour hen lays the greatest number of eggs?

Goodness knows

and you know what I do for a living so double

I'm going with black

Ah, you had a 50/50 chance but ... Wrong!

5(3W + 4B) = 6(2W + 4B)

15W + 20B = 12W + 24B

3W = 4B

W = 1.33B

White hens lay more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One word: Norwich

Support a better team

I'm no glory hunter fan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need an adventure, but I need an adventure that will accommodate being a single dad, and the lack if physical fitness and suspected arthritis in my right foot, and repeatedly dislocation of my right shoulder and my serial procrastination lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In looking for a woman to tie me up and tease me while i watch my wife and her well hung lover make love again and again! Occasionally bringing me to ruined orgasm. My poor sperm cascading fruitlessly onto the cold floor, while his establishes itself within her....

Trouble is i can't find the man that comes with the woman!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Auntie Cheeky, I need a drinking buddy for Saturday 13 Feb. I know its valentines weekend but I've decided I want to go out for drinkies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Auntie Cheekychops,

I haven't been getting enough sleep for awhile now, Not getting to sleep until after 11-12pm and getting up at 630am, The bags under my eyes are starting to show, Apart from more sleep what advise would you give me for getting rid of them

Yours, Mr diddlyumptious

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Auntie Cheeky, I need a drinking buddy for Saturday 13 Feb. I know its valentines weekend but I've decided I want to go out for drinkies.

Awww well we will see what we can do

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Dear Auntie Cheekychops,

Yours, Mr diddlyumptious"

Cold cucumber and some under the eye cream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear Auntie Cheekychops,

Yours, Mr diddlyumptious

Cold cucumber and some under the eye cream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Three white hens and four black hens lay as many eggs in five days as two white hens and four black hens lay in six days. Which colour hen lays the greatest number of eggs?

Goodness knows

and you know what I do for a living so double

I'm going with black

Ah, you had a 50/50 chance but ... Wrong!

5(3W + 4B) = 6(2W + 4B)

15W + 20B = 12W + 24B

3W = 4B

W = 1.33B

White hens lay more "

I'm a little turned on by that calculation..

how did that happen....

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By *ub_liminalTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Belfast

Ugh... I'm out of guacamole

#firstWorldProblems..

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Ugh... I'm out of guacamole

#firstWorldProblems..

.."

Use some green tripe instead

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

"Three white hens and four black hens lay as many eggs in five days as two white hens and four black hens lay in six days. Which colour hen lays the greatest number of eggs?

The white hens xxxx right Yeh ....Please say yes else I will look a right nuptials xxxx

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

"Three white hens and four black hens lay as many eggs in five days as two white hens and four black hens lay in six days. Which colour hen lays the greatest number of eggs?

The white hens xxxx right Yeh ....Please say yes else I will look a right nuptials xxxx"

Nuptials ?????? WTF ..... meant Numpty

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

"Three white hens and four black hens lay as many eggs in five days as two white hens and four black hens lay in six days. Which colour hen lays the greatest number of eggs?

Goodness knows

and you know what I do for a living so double

I'm going with black

Ah, you had a 50/50 chance but ... Wrong!

5(3W + 4B) = 6(2W + 4B)

15W + 20B = 12W + 24B

3W = 4B

W = 1.33B

White hens lay more

I'm a little turned on by that calculation..

how did that happen....

I too love a good equation

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

Shit the answer was above lol ..... anyway I worked it out by subtracting 2 white hens from the 3 white hens = 1

Subtract 4 black hens from 4 black hens = 0

So 1 whiten hen left to lay eggs xxxxx

Yayyyyyy get me xxxx

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Ok guys was is 2+2

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

"Ok guys was is 2+2

A fucking good time xxxxx

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

[Removed by poster at 02/02/16 23:08:58]

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

[Removed by poster at 02/02/16 23:09:16]

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Ok guys was is 2+2

A fucking good time xxxxx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Auntie Cheekychops

This is slightly embarrassing so I hope what I tell you is for your eyes only and kept private and confidential,

The thing is I haven't been having any luck with the ladies recently and have resorted to wanking a lot

And to make it more exciting I have been putting lipstick on my thumb and finger, Do you think I need help

Yours Mr ?????

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Dear Auntie Cheekychops

This is slightly embarrassing so I hope what I tell you is for your eyes only and kept private and confidential,

The thing is I haven't been having any luck with the ladies recently and have resorted to wanking a lot

And to make it more exciting I have been putting lipstick on my thumb and finger, Do you think I need help

Yours Mr ?????"

As long as it's a red lippy you should be ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2+2 = a fish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Miss cheekychops..

Trouble is i can't find the man that comes with the woman!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/02/16 23:23:58]

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Dear Miss cheekychops..

Trouble is i can't find the man that comes with the woman!

Buy a extendable dick

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Dear Auntie Cheeky,

I have just caught the skin in one of my armpits in my epilator. I now have a small cut, which is hurting like the blazes and a fuck off big bruise.

And I know putting deodorant on tomorrow is going to kill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear Auntie Cheeky,

I have just caught the skin in one of my armpits in my epilator. I now have a small cut, which is hurting like the blazes and a fuck off big bruise.

And I know putting deodorant on tomorrow is going to kill.

Think you need to go to the foul language and farming thread to relieve some expletives.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Dear Auntie Cheeky,

I have just caught the skin in one of my armpits in my epilator. I now have a small cut, which is hurting like the blazes and a fuck off big bruise.

And I know putting deodorant on tomorrow is going to kill.

Spray it with some perfume

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Dear Auntie Cheeky,

I have just caught the skin in one of my armpits in my epilator. I now have a small cut, which is hurting like the blazes and a fuck off big bruise.

And I know putting deodorant on tomorrow is going to kill.

Think you need to go to the foul language and farming thread to relieve some expletives.

Farming thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear Auntie Cheeky,

I have just caught the skin in one of my armpits in my epilator. I now have a small cut, which is hurting like the blazes and a fuck off big bruise.

And I know putting deodorant on tomorrow is going to kill.

Think you need to go to the foul language and farming thread to relieve some expletives.

Farming thread

** farting!!

. Ffs.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Dear Auntie Cheeky,

I have just caught the skin in one of my armpits in my epilator. I now have a small cut, which is hurting like the blazes and a fuck off big bruise.

And I know putting deodorant on tomorrow is going to kill.

Spray it with some perfume

Pass!

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Dear Auntie Cheeky,

I have just caught the skin in one of my armpits in my epilator. I now have a small cut, which is hurting like the blazes and a fuck off big bruise.

And I know putting deodorant on tomorrow is going to kill.

Think you need to go to the foul language and farming thread to relieve some expletives.

Farming thread

** farting!!

. Ffs. "

I don't think fabs like animal farm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on. That's my new motto in life, along with it's not my circus and it's not my monkeys lol.

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

"Dear Auntie Cheeky,

I have just caught the skin in one of my armpits in my epilator. I now have a small cut, which is hurting like the blazes and a fuck off big bruise.

And I know putting deodorant on tomorrow is going to kill.

Think you need to go to the foul language and farming thread to relieve some expletives.

Farming thread

** farting!!

. Ffs.

I don't think fabs like animal farm

I forsee a busy day at work tomorrow. ... do you wanna do my shift for me pleaseeee xxxxx

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