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women never message men first ,why?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It's not a rant its an observation even when you have established friendship and a sense of humour gained from constant messaging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're too busy messaging hot tgirls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I do if I have something to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've received a few though usually in reply to a forum post or status granted its rare but not unheard of

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

The premise is sooooo not true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. "

I hear you, and same for me. Fear of rejection but end of the day we can all say no. Don't take it to heart .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a cock fest for them, they dont need to mail first

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

I've often had ladies message me first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they have so much more choice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I do "
I love your nose

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Some do message first. Usually the ones who are sick of getting swamped with dick pics and crap messages. They decide to take the initiative. I've spoke to quite a few women who've said it's a much better way of doing things. It gives them much better odds of finding a guy that actually interests them and meets their requirements. Why more don't do it is beyond me.

I don't send first messages anymore. I let the women message me if they're interested. Saves a lot of time.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

What rubbish, I message people first all the time. If however, I'd only passed a couple of messages to someome and they hadn't replied to my last I would just leave it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. "
I know that feeling and that's why I have never messages first

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Some of us do.

And sometimes those men say no thanks.

Sometimes they even fall about laughing and say, "fuck no!".

That's life!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its a cock fest for them, they dont need to mail first"

That's exactly why , they are too busy filtering the 200 cock pics they get everyday .

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

If I like the look and sound of a profile I have no hesitation in mailing someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've messaged a few men first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying.

I hear you, and same for me. Fear of rejection but end of the day we can all say no. Don't take it to heart .

"

I know.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"What rubbish, I message people first all the time. If however, I'd only passed a couple of messages to someome and they hadn't replied to my last I would just leave it.

"

^ this. Messaging first is fine but I won't chase people around.

It's a two-way thing or nothing.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

I do sometimes,it's pretty rare,but I do

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)


"It's not a rant its an observation even when you have established friendship and a sense of humour gained from constant messaging "

Yes we do sometimes message first xxxx

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Never? For you maybe OP. It's not uncommon for women to make first contact with some of us single men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was messaged last night out of the blue so it does happen I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read your profile took a while to stop laughing, good on you x

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

They do message first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do I love your nose "

??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's not a rant its an observation even when you have established friendship and a sense of humour gained from constant messaging "

Oh they do

(sometimes!)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. "
have you never been rejected for anything in your life a job a school sports team so!ethimg where you didn't meet the criteria? What's the worst that can happen?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally message first if someone really takes my fancy.. (;

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

No my point was established friends ,I get messaged first occasionally but it was more about women you've been chatting to for months

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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

If I'm looking for new meets I do message first. I also message friends and men first at times.You don't have to take turns in who messages next.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

At the moment, unless it's someone I've chatted to before, I have to message first because I've blocked messages from men.

My mailbox is blissfully quiet except for chats with friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've sent loads of first messages, both for meets or just general chit chat with forumites.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how many times does this topic have to be covered ?? get over it guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel really special now I've been message first by lots of women, most of them seeing if I match up to my profile, but judging by the about if verifications I have, I don't lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. have you never been rejected for anything in your life a job a school sports team so!ethimg where you didn't meet the criteria? What's the worst that can happen?"

Eeerrr yes of course I've been rejected! For most things and by lots of people if you must know. Hence my insecurities. Why would you think I haven't?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"No my point was established friends ,I get messaged first occasionally but it was more about women you've been chatting to for months "
well maybe there not that bothered then. If I class someome as a "friend" it gives me free reign to message when I like and about any random shit I like.

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By *ripleXrateDWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I think it's more a case we don't really need to.

I've got filters on but whenever I take them off I get a flood of offers mostly stupid ones I'd never reply to like "want me to burst your arse open".

If and when I am looking for a single guy I would have no problems sending a message first but I've found most single guys in a radius I can travel to don't have much info on their profile or they just have a cock pic and I really can't be bothered messaging around 20 guys just to see if I would be intrested or not.

Thankfully not all guys are like this though xxxxx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. have you never been rejected for anything in your life a job a school sports team so!ethimg where you didn't meet the criteria? What's the worst that can happen?

Eeerrr yes of course I've been rejected! For most things and by lots of people if you must know. Hence my insecurities. Why would you think I haven't?"
I didn't think you hadn't, I'd be amazed if someone had never been rejected for anything in their life

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)


"No my point was established friends ,I get messaged first occasionally but it was more about women you've been chatting to for months "

I guess like in real life , some conversations Peter out naturally, I get messages from friends after having no contact out of the blue, often in regards a status update or other for any other reason,

If I see a reason to contact them first then I do...

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. have you never been rejected for anything in your life a job a school sports team so!ethimg where you didn't meet the criteria? What's the worst that can happen?

Eeerrr yes of course I've been rejected! For most things and by lots of people if you must know. Hence my insecurities. Why would you think I haven't?"

I think the point is that you've faced rejection and found it isn't the end of the world.

If you don't message, you don't have a chance of a meet. If you do and they say no, you are in no worse a position than if you hadn't asked. But there is also the possibility they'll say yes.

Try not to read anything into rejection. It doesn't mean anything bad about you.

There are men you wouldn't meet that you don't think are unattractive, right? They're just not what you're looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No my point was established friends ,I get messaged first occasionally but it was more about women you've been chatting to for months "

I had to take the smilies out of the requote ha, sorry OP but it grinds my gears!

Anyway .. Does it really matter though? If you want to chat does it matter if you're the one that messages first? As long as they reply and you're talking it's all good isn't it?

I have a few people like that. We'll chat if I contact them first. There are others when sometimes I'll message first, other times they do. All works for me.

If they didn't want to talk they wouldn't ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They certainly do mate

Maybe ease up on the smilies and they might

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No my point was established friends ,I get messaged first occasionally but it was more about women you've been chatting to for months

I guess like in real life , some conversations Peter out naturally, I get messages from friends after having no contact out of the blue, often in regards a status update or other for any other reason,

If I see a reason to contact them first then I do... "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm far too shy and retiring to send a first contact message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To busy deleting messages probably to be fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They certainly do mate

Maybe ease up on the smilies and they might"

This ^^^

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley


"I do sometimes,it's pretty rare,but I do"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"They certainly do mate

Maybe ease up on the smilies and they might"
hey liam you have abs I have smilies I want abs but can't get them but making a concerted effort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have sent the first message to many guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They certainly do mate

Maybe ease up on the smilies and they mighthey liam you have abs I have smilies I want abs but can't get them but making a concerted effort "

it is your USP fella so stick with the smilies if you like them. They might irrationally rub some of us up the wrong way but that's our problem not yours! Keep doing your own thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think we should have random message day from the ladies

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"The premise is sooooo not true"

This!

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By *avid1Man
over a year ago

Dubai

Not true at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They certainly do mate

Maybe ease up on the smilies and they mighthey liam you have abs I have smilies I want abs but can't get them but making a concerted effort "

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I don't send messages to blokes that use all the bloody smilies after every post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's not a rant its an observation even when you have established friendship and a sense of humour gained from constant messaging "

I do.

Ask my friends!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Maybe ease up on the smilies and they might.

liam you have abs I have smilies

"

I've considered this for the millisecond required. I prefer abs.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I don't send messages to blokes that use all the bloody smilies after every post "

See? We women are too picky!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very rare - but they do!

I suppose that when you are already receiving 300+ messages a day, you don't go looking for more!

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham


"No my point was established friends ,I get messaged first occasionally but it was more about women you've been chatting to for months "

Well if you're talking about established friends then yeah the ones I have a connection with contact me all the time. And I have no problem contacting them if I feel like it. If there's something genuine there then I find there's conversations going back and forth all the time, literally over months as well...never ending conversations in fact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been known to message friends first...but only if I have something to say otherwise what's the point?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't send messages to blokes that use all the bloody smilies after every post "
hehe hey you havnt lived xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have been known to message friends first...but only if I have something to say otherwise what's the point? "
but my point is if they are "friends" why havnt you got something to say eg hi good morning how are you etc

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"I don't send messages to blokes that use all the bloody smilies after every post hehe hey you havnt lived xx "

Oh I have I just find post awash with smiley faces all across the hard to read...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been known to message friends first...but only if I have something to say otherwise what's the point? but my point is if they are "friends" why havnt you got something to say eg hi good morning how are you etc "

if they were real friends, then I probably might...ie people I met with regularly....not acquaintances from fab who I just knew from the forums

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area


"They're too busy messaging hot tgirls "

Why would I.want to message a T girl ..... ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No my point was established friends ,I get messaged first occasionally but it was more about women you've been chatting to for months well maybe there not that bothered then. If I class someome as a "friend" it gives me free reign to message when I like and about any random shit I like."

This. I chat to people as and when. If they've said something on the forum I'll drop them a line, but online PM/kik/whatsapp messaging constantly isn't always viable and sometimes the conversation naturally peters out - until the next time. I think what I'm trying to say OP is don't take it so seriously. Who cares if it's always you messaging first, you're getting a response which is probably more than the majority of their inbox. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one can message me unless I've messaged them first so I always send first messages to guys. All the people I've met and have plans to meet have come from me messaging them first.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No one can message me unless I've messaged them first so I always send first messages to guys. All the people I've met and have plans to meet have come from me messaging them first. "
well it stands to reason that you would want to be in charge of your destiny seawitch ,I've had to spend your breast fund money ,sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/02/16 13:00:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes they do and I get many. It depends if they find the profile interesting and the pics.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No my point was established friends ,I get messaged first occasionally but it was more about women you've been chatting to for months well maybe there not that bothered then. If I class someome as a "friend" it gives me free reign to message when I like and about any random shit I like.

This. I chat to people as and when. If they've said something on the forum I'll drop them a line, but online PM/kik/whatsapp messaging constantly isn't always viable and sometimes the conversation naturally peters out - until the next time. I think what I'm trying to say OP is don't take it so seriously. Who cares if it's always you messaging first, you're getting a response which is probably more than the majority of their inbox. x"
I care

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's not a rant its an observation even when you have established friendship and a sense of humour gained from constant messaging "

I look at a profile occasionally but if there's no exact location ("London" is a big place) or there's no face picture, I would move on. There's plenty of blokes waiting in my inbox who have read my profile and have answered in detail what I'm looking for. YOU only have one chance to make a FIRST impression.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's not a rant its an observation even when you have established friendship and a sense of humour gained from constant messaging

I look at a profile occasionally but if there's no exact location ("London" is a big place) or there's no face picture, I would move on. There's plenty of blokes waiting in my inbox who have read my profile and have answered in detail what I'm looking for. YOU only have one chance to make a FIRST impression. "
the thread was about an established connection ,you were saying something about read your profile hehe xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't send messages to blokes that use all the bloody smilies after every post hehe hey you havnt lived xx

Oh I have I just find post awash with smiley faces all across the hard to read... "
don't you just find it annoying when people only put one smiley at the end of a message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one can message me unless I've messaged them first so I always send first messages to guys. All the people I've met and have plans to meet have come from me messaging them first. well it stands to reason that you would want to be in charge of your destiny seawitch ,I've had to spend your breast fund money ,sorry "

Awww, I wouldn't want it anyway I'd borrow it and pay back. Fuck anyone having anything over me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't believe what I'm reading. ...are we taking this guy seriously?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's about 50/50 whether I message first or they message first with the existing contacts I have on here.

One thing that would make me stop messaging is any sense of being hassled, someone getting impatient for replies etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're most often too busy being messaged by men to message first...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. "
ditto then I have a sip of wine for Dutch courage and send a message to someone that takes my fancy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message guys first occasionally!

Works the same way as it does for guys! Some are interested - a few aren't! No one is everyone's type! Simples!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is the rare bread of woman that does lol it makes a nice change. It is a two way thing with the effort though, a lot forget that. If it's all one way don't botherrr

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes

I've been known to send the first message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been messaged first by lots of different women, mainly on the back of a forum post, of if we are friends and they are asking how my day/week has been.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do and I'm sure I'm not the only one."
I do too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I occasionally message 1st, usually on the back of a forum thread where someone has caught my eye.

With existing 'friends' on here it varies, it's a 2 way street after all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes i have nothing to say. Or like today im busy and havent anything to say lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I occasionally message 1st, usually on the back of a forum thread where someone has caught my eye.

With existing 'friends' on here it varies, it's a 2 way street after all."
my point was more to do with established friendships really ,people you chat to regularly

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

Yes we do xx

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By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york


"I occasionally message 1st, usually on the back of a forum thread where someone has caught my eye.

With existing 'friends' on here it varies, it's a 2 way street after all. my point was more to do with established friendships really ,people you chat to regularly "
i mailed you first x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd not receive a message if they didn't message first.

I prefer to assume if they wanted my junk mail they'd ask for it

Oh wait.......

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I occasionally message 1st, usually on the back of a forum thread where someone has caught my eye.

With existing 'friends' on here it varies, it's a 2 way street after all. my point was more to do with established friendships really ,people you chat to regularly i mailed you first x"
you have B thankyou xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm scared they like omg u dog F off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I occasionally message 1st, usually on the back of a forum thread where someone has caught my eye.

With existing 'friends' on here it varies, it's a 2 way street after all. my point was more to do with established friendships really ,people you chat to regularly "

Well the same applies about the 2 way street, I've got friends who I hardly talk too & they probably wouldn't message if I didn't make the effort 1st.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

I do on my behalf as a female and as a couple xx

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By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york


"I occasionally message 1st, usually on the back of a forum thread where someone has caught my eye.

With existing 'friends' on here it varies, it's a 2 way street after all. my point was more to do with established friendships really ,people you chat to regularly

Well the same applies about the 2 way street, I've got friends who I hardly talk too & they probably wouldn't message if I didn't make the effort 1st."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I occasionally message 1st, usually on the back of a forum thread where someone has caught my eye.

With existing 'friends' on here it varies, it's a 2 way street after all. my point was more to do with established friendships really ,people you chat to regularly "

Do you worry that they might be online and chatting to someone else?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who know me well know im shit at small talk. If we have something talk about its easy. But sometimes conversation dies out naturally and im not one for message ping pong for the sake of it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I occasionally message 1st, usually on the back of a forum thread where someone has caught my eye.

With existing 'friends' on here it varies, it's a 2 way street after all. my point was more to do with established friendships really ,people you chat to regularly

Do you worry that they might be online and chatting to someone else?"
I don't worry I know it ,nice avatar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes they do, well a few have messaged me anyway.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I message new contacts first occasionally, but often with friends. Ask Mr Marmite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I occasionally message 1st, usually on the back of a forum thread where someone has caught my eye.

With existing 'friends' on here it varies, it's a 2 way street after all. my point was more to do with established friendships really ,people you chat to regularly

Do you worry that they might be online and chatting to someone else? I don't worry I know it ,nice avatar "
oh how doyou know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I occasionally message 1st, usually on the back of a forum thread where someone has caught my eye.

With existing 'friends' on here it varies, it's a 2 way street after all. my point was more to do with established friendships really ,people you chat to regularly

Do you worry that they might be online and chatting to someone else?"

Why would anyone worry about that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I occasionally message 1st, usually on the back of a forum thread where someone has caught my eye.

With existing 'friends' on here it varies, it's a 2 way street after all. my point was more to do with established friendships really ,people you chat to regularly

Do you worry that they might be online and chatting to someone else?

Why would anyone worry about that? "

Why indeed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one can message me unless I've messaged them first so I always send first messages to guys. All the people I've met and have plans to meet have come from me messaging them first. "

I'm surprised more women don't do this, to be honest! I would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do message 1st if there's something that takes my fancy but only every so often!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think this too think its time these girls should start giving chase

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think this too think its time these girls should start giving chase

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message guys I like the look of and I message the guys I'm friends with too if I want to chat or to arrange a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's not a rant its an observation even when you have established friendship and a sense of humour gained from constant messaging "

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Trust me I would message first, if men actually had a profile and pictures to entice me.

Sadly the men in my area seem to think 1 line of text and a picture of their cock is enough to entice women....sadly I am not one of them.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"I've often had ladies message me first"

^This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been messaged first by women either as a result of my profile (basic, though it is) or mainly something daft I've written on the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been messaged first by women either as a result of my profile (basic, though it is) or mainly something daft I've written on the forums "

And you got a welcome back message

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