FabSwingers.com forum: Are there rules when it comes to..

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Dating?

I spent about 2 hours in a debate with a male friend last night about dating.

What conversation is acceptable, Who should pay, What the actual date would be etc..

Id like some opinions from men and women to see if other people conflict on idea's like we did.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He insisted on a meal and paying for everything.. I insisted that it should be 50/50 and in a pub or a bar where conversation can happen and your more relaxed.

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By *ingleguy1973Man
over a year ago

peterborough

i would say a meal as it is easier to hold a conversation in a restaurant than it is in a busy pub or bar. but depends what you both like.

as for paying, i would always offer but it depends on why the guy offers to pay. if he is trying to look flash and implying that he should get a shag then that is wrong but if he is paying because he is a gentleman then nothing wrong with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i am in agreement with singleguy on a meal in a restaurant.

I would offer to pay but if you were insistant on going halves then hey why not. It would me much more to you and you would find that a nice thing in the guy so its a plus for him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

see if for that simple reason id refuse to let a guy buy everything.. id hate to feel i owed a guy something after.

besides if i didnt feel comfortable around him, id just feel like i used him for his money even though i knew they'd be no second date

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i am in agreement with singleguy on a meal in a restaurant.

I would offer to pay but if you were insistant on going halves then hey why not. It would me much more to you and you would find that a nice thing in the guy so its a plus for him."

for an inital date i think resturaunt is perhaps a little too formal and me personally i couldnt relax... maybe im not the 'norm' haha

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"see if for that simple reason id refuse to let a guy buy everything.. id hate to feel i owed a guy something after.

besides if i didnt feel comfortable around him, id just feel like i used him for his money even though i knew they'd be no second date"

ye i say 50/50 but im poor lol xx

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry

and pub xx

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry

or my place lol xx

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By *ingleguy1973Man
over a year ago

peterborough

"for an inital date i think resturaunt is perhaps a little too formal and me personally i couldnt relax... maybe im not the 'norm' haha"

depends on the restaurant... the word covers everything from mcdonalds and burger king to the ritz and the savoy and a lot in between.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"for an inital date i think resturaunt is perhaps a little too formal and me personally i couldnt relax... maybe im not the 'norm' haha

depends on the restaurant... the word covers everything from mcdonalds and burger king to the ritz and the savoy and a lot in between."

the place we were talking about in our conversation was a resturaunt owned by John Burton Race - a celebrity chef round our area. Its stupidly formal. Id settle for KFC :D lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"or my place lol xx"

If it was an actual date id certainly not go to his place having never met him before

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By *ingleguy1973Man
over a year ago

peterborough

"the place we were talking about in our conversation was a resturaunt owned by John Burton Race - a celebrity chef round our area. Its stupidly formal. Id settle for KFC :D lol"

you get better fries in burger king

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Call me old fashioned but I think it's the blokes job to pay on dates,- and absolutely with nonulterior motive, and you shouldn't be feeling as though you 'owe' him anything,- Money or otherwise. It's just simple good manners, and a thankyou for the lady's company.

But, I can understand why a woman would want to split it, and fair enough, if she wants to.

As for location, it really depends on how you're both feeling.- informal drinks omin a cosy bar is great, but restaurants are good too,- maybe not a stupidly formal one though!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"the place we were talking about in our conversation was a resturaunt owned by John Burton Race - a celebrity chef round our area. Its stupidly formal. Id settle for KFC :D lol

you get better fries in burger king

im so easily pleased lol.. chicken royale nom nom! lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Call me old fashioned but I think it's the blokes job to pay on dates,- and absolutely with nonulterior motive, and you shouldn't be feeling as though you 'owe' him anything,- Money or otherwise. It's just simple good manners, and a thankyou for the lady's company.

But, I can understand why a woman would want to split it, and fair enough, if she wants to.

As for location, it really depends on how you're both feeling.- informal drinks omin a cosy bar is great, but restaurants are good too,- maybe not a stupidly formal one though!!

id never presume a man would pay for everything even if he asked me out.

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"or my place lol xx

If it was an actual date id certainly not go to his place having never met him before"

but ur on here for sex and fun..

meal and bottle of wine at mine....

u dont know their not an axe murderer just cause u meet at mcdonalds first.. x

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By *ingleguy1973Man
over a year ago

peterborough

But, I can understand why a woman would want to split it, and fair enough, if she wants to.

As for location, it really depends on how you're both feeling.- informal drinks omin a cosy bar is great, but restaurants are good too,- maybe not a stupidly formal one though!!

totally agree... the male ego is a very fragile thing. through millions of years of evolution, we feel the need to protect and provide for the opposite sex. for that reason and because it is polite and the gentlemanly thing to do, i would always offer to pay.

however, that offer has absolutely no strings attached... i would never expect a shag just because i had paid nor would i do it in an attempt to imply that i have a good job or money etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"or my place lol xx

If it was an actual date id certainly not go to his place having never met him before

but ur on here for sex and fun..

meal and bottle of wine at mine....

u dont know their not an axe murderer just cause u meet at mcdonalds first.. x"

oh but i wasnt on about meeting someone off fabs, say if you had dipped your toes in online dating and never met face to face before

his/her pics were about 5 years out of date, he/she had bad breath, and there was obviously no chemistry. you'd be feeling uncomfy in your own home cos you just didnt want them there.

likewise if you were stuck in a resturaunt and even worse you were expected to pay for everything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe in splitting 50/50, however, not regimentally.

For instance, I could pay for the room and the gent pays for the meal etc...

This way, I don't feel I am taking the gent for a ride, and don't feel I owe him anything at the end of the evening.

However, if he insists on paying everything, then I shan't argue!

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"or my place lol xx

If it was an actual date id certainly not go to his place having never met him before

but ur on here for sex and fun..

meal and bottle of wine at mine....

u dont know their not an axe murderer just cause u meet at mcdonalds first.. x

oh but i wasnt on about meeting someone off fabs, say if you had dipped your toes in online dating and never met face to face before

his/her pics were about 5 years out of date, he/she had bad breath, and there was obviously no chemistry. you'd be feeling uncomfy in your own home cos you just didnt want them there.

likewise if you were stuck in a resturaunt and even worse you were expected to pay for everything"

oh right then i always expect to pay but nice if they offer....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, there are no rules as such. Only do that which you feel comfortable with. Sometimes I've bought dinner, sometimes it's been bought for me. It all depends on the situation and how you both feel in it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

however, that offer has absolutely no strings attached... i would never expect a shag just because i had paid nor would i do it in an attempt to imply that i have a good job or money etc."

I unfortunately know a very stunning girl who just uses guys and takes advantage of them. If she is strapped for cash but wants to go out, she will ask a guy out yet still expect him to buy everything -meal, drinks, and night on the town after... then just fob him off. just really grates me.

id never be that so its for that reason i could personally never let a man pay for everything on a first date,, even more so if there was no chemistry and was very unlikely id see him again

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I believe in splitting 50/50, however, not regimentally.

For instance, I could pay for the room and the gent pays for the meal etc...

This way, I don't feel I am taking the gent for a ride, and don't feel I owe him anything at the end of the evening.

yeah i agree with that, even if it was he buy a round of drinks, then buy a round of drinks etc

least i feel we are on level playing ground

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By *ingleguy1973Man
over a year ago

peterborough

"I unfortunately know a very stunning girl who just uses guys and takes advantage of them. If she is strapped for cash but wants to go out, she will ask a guy out yet still expect him to buy everything -meal, drinks, and night on the town after... then just fob him off. just really grates me.

id never be that so its for that reason i could personally never let a man pay for everything on a first date,, even more so if there was no chemistry and was very unlikely id see him again"

every situation is different and as long as you are honest with someone there should be no problem. just let him know there is no chemistry and go 50/50. if you are going to see him again, you could always let him pay, and you pay the next time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately there are some women who will deliberately use a bloke just to pay for things. Fortunately I believe theyre in the minority though.

However, when I offer to pay it's out of good manners. Chivalry, and with no other intention,- so give the guy the benefit of the doubt occasionally. Having said that, if he insistently refuses to let you pay 50% if you offer then perhaps he's being a bit of a jerk in these 21st century times!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Unfortunately there are some women who will deliberately use a bloke just to pay for things. Fortunately I believe theyre in the minority though.

Thats what happend in my personal situation from my last actual date.. i just felt really frustrated and was beggining to make me a little bit angry. I ended up going thirsty because im stuborn and wouldnt allow him to keep buying me drinks.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Pay 50/50 - but I vote for restaurants over pubs. In a pub you can't hear yourself think for the music and have no opportunity to concentrate on each other.

In a restaurant, you get an area to yourselves, and the only interruptions are staff. It doesn't have to be a fancy restaurant.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

yes....... they give out on the first date.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pay 50/50 - but I vote for restaurants over pubs. In a pub you can't hear yourself think for the music and have no opportunity to concentrate on each other.

In a restaurant, you get an area to yourselves, and the only interruptions are staff. It doesn't have to be a fancy restaurant.

Not if the restaurant packs them in like sardines, with children about!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems like you ended up with a bit of a loser unfortunately. He made the offer, and should have left it at that, sensing you'd be new comfortable paying your own way. Shame you were left thirsty! At least I now know when I invite you out that you'll not accept me offering to pay!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be a little confusing can`t it .....men can have such a hard time quite knowing what the de riguer is ..open a door or not..

Moreover with a hard line feminist..who sees the orgasm as facet of gender tyranny....

As an old fashioned type of fella..I like to pay on the first date..

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By *ingleguy1973Man
over a year ago

peterborough

"It can be a little confusing can`t it .....men can have such a hard time quite knowing what the de riguer is ..open a door or not"

i once opened a door for a member of the opposite sex only to be told i didnt have to hold the door open, just because she was a women... so i replied, i didnt hold it open because she was a woman, i held it open because i am a gentleman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are no hard and fast rules to dating, and it all depends. I went on a date this week...it felt really weird as I've not been on a date since the Devil was in short pants.

My date picked up the tab - and I expected him to, on a first date. We went for a drink in a quiet pub to talk, then on to a nice Italian restaurant. It was a date, there was never going to be a knee trembler behind the station: he pursued me for months on a dating site as I found his user name off putting.

It wasn't "bigknob69" or something equally crass, but something along the lines of "fitnessfreak" (not his real tag), but a name that said he was all into the body beautiful and keeping fit, his profile pics showed him with his six pack. The most exercise I get is raising a spoon to my mouth, although I have a wedding to get slimmer for, it's half hearted at the moment.

I'm not lacking in confidence by any means, but I couldn't for the life of me see why someone who spent three hours in the gym three times a week would want to date a couch potatoe! But date me he did...and will do again.

Now the next time I'll treat him. I don't see why it should be down to the man to always put his hands in his pocket, even though I know he can well afford to spoil me. I just feel comfortable paying my own way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

blimey been years since i went on a date lol

humm ideal date for me would be going to a gig with a nice guy that obviously likes the same music as me lol

going out for a meal just isnt me at all, i would find someone who wanted a quiet chat over a meal boring in afraid

i would do a pub but again it would have to be someone who had the same tastes as me as i couldnt just go round trendy pubs playing dance music

as for who pays well for what im after i dont think it matters im happy to buy drinks but im not qwibbling with somene over the price of a pint lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately there are some women who will deliberately use a bloke just to pay for things. Fortunately I believe theyre in the minority though.

Huh?!!

If I offer to pay and a bloke says no...the last thing I'm going to do is argue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It can be a little confusing can`t it .....men can have such a hard time quite knowing what the de riguer is ..open a door or not

I once left a meet because he didn't hold the door open for me for that very same reason. Not because I'm a women, but because he wasn't a gentleman. When I confronted him about it he was shocked and said "this isn't a date!"

I wouldn't play with someone like that, and certainly wouldn't have him in my home!

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By *eighleedsMan
over a year ago

leeds

if i ask a lady/woman out to meet socially . i expect to pay for everything, but do not expect amything back

if she offers to pay for somethng during the night then, its fine, i will let her, thats also fine.

was teh way i was brought up as a kid i guess

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Call me old fashioned ..."

You're old fashioned.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There are no hard and fast rules to dating, and it all depends. I went on a date this week...it felt really weird as I've not been on a date since the Devil was in short pants.

its bizzare that bein a biger girl that on a dating website i get messages from gym junkies

i am so far from that lifestyle.. they take pride in how their body image is and i dont.

just think we wont have nothing in common based on that one point

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Can I ask the guys who expect to pay a question...

Why do you 'expect' to pay?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Way way of topic here possibly ....

Leaving sexuality aside fer a moment ...I hold the door open fer a bloke as well...its a gesture

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it may just be me but i dont believe you get anything in this life for free

if a man takes you out and pays for everything he will be doing it for a reason and its not out of the goodness of his heart lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it may just be me but i dont believe you get anything in this life for free

if a man takes you out and pays for everything he will be doing it for a reason and its not out of the goodness of his heart lol"

Too cynical! Or I am too much of a hopeless romantic to believe there are still genuinely nice gentlemen about!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"it may just be me but i dont believe you get anything in this life for free

if a man takes you out and pays for everything he will be doing it for a reason and its not out of the goodness of his heart lol"

i think the same, hense why i felt uncomfortable with him buying everything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it may just be me but i dont believe you get anything in this life for free

if a man takes you out and pays for everything he will be doing it for a reason and its not out of the goodness of his heart lol

Too cynical! Or I am too much of a hopeless romantic to believe there are still genuinely nice gentlemen about!

your a hopeless romantic lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can I ask the guys who expect to pay a question...

Why do you 'expect' to pay?

good question,, cmon guys answers

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By *ingleguy1973Man
over a year ago

peterborough

"it may just be me but i dont believe you get anything in this life for free

if a man takes you out and pays for everything he will be doing it for a reason and its not out of the goodness of his heart lol"

some men do... and some dont

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are no hard and fast rules to dating, and it all depends. I went on a date this week...it felt really weird as I've not been on a date since the Devil was in short pants.

its bizzare that bein a biger girl that on a dating website i get messages from gym junkies

i am so far from that lifestyle.. they take pride in how their body image is and i dont.

just think we wont have nothing in common based on that one point "

That's why I kept putting him off...couldn't for the life of me think why he'd want to. But it was me that had the hang up. I have my face pic on that site, he liked what he saw and read. We've been talking for months and he phones me most days.

We're both "professionals", both with hectic jobs and a lot in common...the only difference is I'll nip into Greggs he'll nip into Fresh and Wild! After work I'll go home, rustle up something quick with my feet up and watch Corrie, he'll hit the gym for three hours and go home to plaice and brown rice - lol!

He's 6ft, blond hair, blue eyes, toned and 45, I'm 5ft 7, brown and caramel hair at the moment 50 and wobble!

They do say opposite attracts!

I'm intrigued myself where this will lead!

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By *ingleguy1973Man
over a year ago

peterborough

"Can I ask the guys who expect to pay a question...

Why do you 'expect' to pay?

good question,, cmon guys answers

because we are gentlemen and chivalry is not dead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it may just be me but i dont believe you get anything in this life for free

if a man takes you out and pays for everything he will be doing it for a reason and its not out of the goodness of his heart lol

Too cynical! Or I am too much of a hopeless romantic to believe there are still genuinely nice gentlemen about!

I'm with you there Pearl.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are no hard and fast rules to dating, and it all depends. I went on a date this week...it felt really weird as I've not been on a date since the Devil was in short pants.

its bizzare that bein a biger girl that on a dating website i get messages from gym junkies

i am so far from that lifestyle.. they take pride in how their body image is and i dont.

just think we wont have nothing in common based on that one point

He's 6ft, blond hair, blue eyes, toned and 45, I'm 5ft 7, brown and caramel hair at the moment 50 and wobble!

They do say opposite attracts!

I'm intrigued myself where this will lead!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's nice if the person who invites the other person out! pays for the meal and the night out, but i should think in this equal society we live in! that both parties should share equal cost!! so if they where to go out again they should share the bill!! but to be honest i've never put that theory in to practise, nearly all the time i end up paying! i suppose i wanna make a good imoression and show some chivalry in a first meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so heres looking at it from another angle

its ok for women to say they would pay half, as i would, id always offer to pay my way but how would you feel if you was asked out by a guy and he made a point of saying he expected you to pay half? offerings one thing but would you see him in a differeent light if he insisted?

to be honest i think i would

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it's nice if the person who invites the other person out! pays for the meal and the night out, but i should think in this equal society we live in! that both parties should share equal cost!! so if they where to go out again they should share the bill!! but to be honest i've never put that theory in to practise, nearly all the time i end up paying! i suppose i wanna make a good imoression and show some chivalry in a first meet."

ok i think we all know the cinema is a rubbish first date, but id certainly have no problems if say a man wanted to buy the tickets, and i could get the drinks & popcorn etc

at least id feel like an equal in the date. i think its flattering if a gent is prepared to pay, but id insist on contributing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"so heres looking at it from another angle

to be honest i think i would "

i think its perfectly reasonable actually... but i would never presume that he would pay for everything. if i couldnt afford to go out on the date i certainly wouldnt go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ok i think we all know the cinema is a rubbish first date, but id certainly have no problems if say a man wanted to buy the tickets, and i could get the drinks & popcorn etc

at least id feel like an equal in the date. i think its flattering if a gent is prepared to pay, but id insist on contributing

i think thats how id feel, id never stand there working out half of everything and handing over money every time something is paid for

your exaple is good, if he got tickets you buy the drinks etc, and that kind of sharing can be used in many situations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so heres looking at it from another angle

to be honest i think i would

i think its perfectly reasonable actually... but i would never presume that he would pay for everything. if i couldnt afford to go out on the date i certainly wouldnt go"

no nor would i but if someone asked me out and then added but i expect you to pay half i think i would see that as cheeky and a bit tight, even tho i would be happy to pay half i would like to pay my way because i wanted to not because if been told i had to

i really do think it would put me off going out with him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so heres looking at it from another angle

to be honest i think i would "

Yes, I would!

I would think he was cheap and not for me. Just like someone picking me up for a date with garage flowers and taking me to a Harvester for a meal.

What a fun night that was...not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it shows courtesy to offer to pay!! i think peoples morals have changed over the years, alot of people have become more self obsorbed in there ways, there is nothing wrong with showing respect to others!! alot of the time men ask women out!! so they should show them respect by offering to pay.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"no nor would i but if someone asked me out and then added but i expect you to pay half i think i would see that as cheeky and a bit tight, even tho i would be happy to pay half i would like to pay my way because i wanted to not because if been told i had to

i really do think it would put me off going out with him"

yea i agree now thinking about it. Thats laying out rules, think dates should be pretty free flow, and work these things out at the end. Its like a date on a condition..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, I think some people are getting too hung up on "equality". For heaven sakes, it's a date!!!

If a man wants to buy you a meal accept it in good grace. The next time you pay, or you get the drinks in...why does everything have to be a battle of the sexes?!!

Have we become so wrapped up in equality that we refuse a date because we don't want a man to buy us a drink?!!

Hell's bells!!!

There's going to be a lot of loney, miserable women around I fear...and serve you all bloody right!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it may just be me but i dont believe you get anything in this life for free

if a man takes you out and pays for everything he will be doing it for a reason and its not out of the goodness of his heart lol

Too cynical! Or I am too much of a hopeless romantic to believe there are still genuinely nice gentlemen about!

If I'm on an actual date, I expect the guy to be a gentleman. The paying to me isn't really relevant. It's just the way dating is done. I see dating as something you do when you're looking or hoping it may develop into a relationship. If I started dating again, a relationship would not be off the cards, put it that way. My mind would be open to going down that route whereas it's currently not. It's a whole different ballgame for me than swinging is. I wouldn't have sex with a guy on the first date. Not because I'd be embarrassed about doing it or worry he'd think I'm a slapper, just because to my mind, you don't sleep with the guy on the first date. I suppose it is all a bit old fashioned, but yeah, I like romance in that situation too and old fashion, in my opinion, is a lot fresher sometimes than current fashion.

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By *ingleguy1973Man
over a year ago

peterborough

"Personally, I think some people are getting too hung up on "equality". For heaven sakes, it's a date!!!

If a man wants to buy you a meal accept it in good grace. The next time you pay, or you get the drinks in...why does everything have to be a battle of the sexes?!!

Have we become so wrapped up in equality that we refuse a date because we don't want a man to buy us a drink?!!

Hell's bells!!!

There's going to be a lot of loney, miserable women around I fear...and serve you all bloody right!

couldnt agree more... you dont know any of these lonely women do you?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Can I ask the guys who expect to pay a question...

Why do you 'expect' to pay?

good question,, cmon guys answers

because we are gentlemen and chivalry is not dead

Doesn't that date back to a time when women were thought of as weak, too stupid to be allowed to vote and not allowed earn decent money so a man had to prove he could provide for his woman.... that chivalry?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

blimey im glad i dont go on dates now lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If thats the case you can pay for your own bloody meal!! people these days theres just no pleasing them!!!! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally, I think some people are getting too hung up on "equality". For heaven sakes, it's a date!!!

If a man wants to buy you a meal accept it in good grace. The next time you pay, or you get the drinks in...why does everything have to be a battle of the sexes?!!

Have we become so wrapped up in equality that we refuse a date because we don't want a man to buy us a drink?!!

Hell's bells!!!

There's going to be a lot of loney, miserable women around I fear...and serve you all bloody right!

couldnt agree more... you dont know any of these lonely women do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/01/11 12:07:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask the guys who expect to pay a question...

Why do you 'expect' to pay?

good question,, cmon guys answers

because we are gentlemen and chivalry is not dead

I really don't think it does. I don't think because the man pays we should assume the woman couldn't pay. It's a traditional thing, I think, nothing more than that. I do think nowadays things get over analysed and cynicism has a big part in making the most simplest thing much more complicated than it need be.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Personally, I think some people are getting too hung up on "equality". For heaven sakes, it's a date!!!

If a man wants to buy you a meal accept it in good grace. The next time you pay, or you get the drinks in...why does everything have to be a battle of the sexes?!!

Have we become so wrapped up in equality that we refuse a date because we don't want a man to buy us a drink?!!

Hell's bells!!!

There's going to be a lot of loney, miserable women around I fear...and serve you all bloody right!

Bollox is the short answer.

I don't have a problem with guys who say they like to pay because it makes them feel good or "I wanted to because I like you".... but "expect" to pay, just because of some outdated notions.

Give me a free thinking man any day.

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By *ingleguy1973Man
over a year ago

peterborough

"Doesn't that date back to a time when women were thought of as weak, too stupid to be allowed to vote and not allowed earn decent money so a man had to prove he could provide for his woman.... that chivalry?

no... i was thinking about the chivalry that involves having good manners, acting like a gentleman, being polite and treating a woman with respect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm free thinking!! but i do stick to alot of the morals i was brought up on! i believe it makes for a better and easier society to live in.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

no... i was thinking about the chivalry that involves having good manners, acting like a gentleman, being polite and treating a woman with respect

So paying is showing someone respect? Does that mean the woman is not showing respect to the man by expecting him to pay?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally, I think some people are getting too hung up on "equality". For heaven sakes, it's a date!!!

If a man wants to buy you a meal accept it in good grace. The next time you pay, or you get the drinks in...why does everything have to be a battle of the sexes?!!

Have we become so wrapped up in equality that we refuse a date because we don't want a man to buy us a drink?!!

Hell's bells!!!

There's going to be a lot of loney, miserable women around I fear...and serve you all bloody right!

Bollox is the short answer.

I don't have a problem with guys who say they like to pay because it makes them feel good or "I wanted to because I like you".... but "expect" to pay, just because of some outdated notions.

Give me a free thinking man any day.

I don't think he's not free thinking if he likes old fashioned values. I should point out I have no issue with going halves, but I don't have an issue with the guy wanting to be old fashioned. I don't think it makes him sexist, or necessarily have ulterior motives. I think it's cute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A gentleman is someone who always takes his hat off before giving a lady a smack....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask the guys who expect to pay a question...

Why do you 'expect' to pay?

good question,, cmon guys answers

because we are gentlemen and chivalry is not dead

Couldn't agree with you more!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

think this might have been my most controversial thread yet! go me! haha

dont think there is a right or wrong answer, we just do what we feel comfy with. I just didnt find it amusing when he was adamant (no idea how to spell that damm word) that i wasnt allowed to purchase a drink.

guess every situation is different and individual :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

actually you know thinking about it if its a date its going to be part of my 'real' life

and probably someone i looking at maybe getting to know with a _iew of having a relationship with

in that case yeah let him pay cause he'll be carrying me for the next 20 years lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a gent I'd not accept a penny from a lady on the first date, but, I wouldn't want to piss her off if she held equality issues about gender relations, and, with it being a first date, I wouldn't know that so I'd play the smart card and let her pay half if she absolutely insisted.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I'm free thinking!! but i do stick to alot of the morals i was brought up on! i believe it makes for a better and easier society to live in."

I would sooner have a man offer to pay because he wants to rather than because he has been raised to and thus feels he is 'expected to' in order to measure up to being a gentleman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally, I think some people are getting too hung up on "equality". For heaven sakes, it's a date!!!

If a man wants to buy you a meal accept it in good grace. The next time you pay, or you get the drinks in...why does everything have to be a battle of the sexes?!!

Have we become so wrapped up in equality that we refuse a date because we don't want a man to buy us a drink?!!

Hell's bells!!!

There's going to be a lot of loney, miserable women around I fear...and serve you all bloody right!

Bollox is the short answer.

I don't have a problem with guys who say they like to pay because it makes them feel good or "I wanted to because I like you".... but "expect" to pay, just because of some outdated notions.

Give me a free thinking man any day.

Nobody is preventing you from thinking what you like!

Not all of us feel we have to over analyse everything!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Personally, I think some people are getting too hung up on "equality". For heaven sakes, it's a date!!!

If a man wants to buy you a meal accept it in good grace. The next time you pay, or you get the drinks in...why does everything have to be a battle of the sexes?!!

Have we become so wrapped up in equality that we refuse a date because we don't want a man to buy us a drink?!!

Hell's bells!!!

There's going to be a lot of loney, miserable women around I fear...and serve you all bloody right!

Bollox is the short answer.

I don't have a problem with guys who say they like to pay because it makes them feel good or "I wanted to because I like you".... but "expect" to pay, just because of some outdated notions.

Give me a free thinking man any day.

I wasn't actually thinking along the lines of him being sexist... more along the lines of him being a sheep doing it because he's been told it's the done thing to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I pay for the meal....usually when they go to the loo I sneak off and pay. Sometimes I pay half, sometimes I let them pay...all depends on how I read the person.

But if I've paid to travel to them or paid for an hotel then I allow them to pay for the meal, also depends if I'm being written off against expenses!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel that women are beneath me so i'd pay!!! i would even give tham a lift home!! because women have small little brains and can't find there way home!!! lol

only joking!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"actually you know thinking about it if its a date its going to be part of my 'real' life

and probably someone i looking at maybe getting to know with a _iew of having a relationship with

in that case yeah let him pay cause he'll be carrying me for the next 20 years lol"

LOVE THIS! hahaha so funny!

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By *ingleguy1973Man
over a year ago

peterborough

"So paying is showing someone respect? Does that mean the woman is not showing respect to the man by expecting him to pay?"

i cant comment on the female point of _iew... all i can say is i would offer to pay and be happy to pay without any ulterior motives than that is what i consider to be the polite, and right thing to do... not because i am being sexist or see women as weak & inferior or expect a shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally, I think some people are getting too hung up on "equality". For heaven sakes, it's a date!!!

If a man wants to buy you a meal accept it in good grace. The next time you pay, or you get the drinks in...why does everything have to be a battle of the sexes?!!

Have we become so wrapped up in equality that we refuse a date because we don't want a man to buy us a drink?!!

Hell's bells!!!

There's going to be a lot of loney, miserable women around I fear...and serve you all bloody right!

Bollox is the short answer.

I don't have a problem with guys who say they like to pay because it makes them feel good or "I wanted to because I like you".... but "expect" to pay, just because of some outdated notions.

Give me a free thinking man any day.

I wasn't actually thinking along the lines of him being sexist... more along the lines of him being a sheep doing it because he's been told it's the done thing to do."

You think sheep, I think traditional

Get him to do a lie detector test before the date, to make sure his motives are in order

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel that women are beneath me so i'd pay!!! i would even give tham a lift home!! because women have small little brains and can't find there way home!!! lol

only joking!!!"

can you pick me up too?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

To me, a gentleman is a man who is considerate of how their actions may make the other person feel... not someone who has to stick to the rules of their forefathers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

define considerate??? all we know is what we have been taught!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To me, a gentleman is a man who is considerate of how their actions may make the other person feel... not someone who has to stick to the rules of their forefathers.

That's what I said, wasn't it???

I've no problems sharing expenses if a women feels the would rather pay her own way, whether that's because she won't feel obliged to have fun later if she didn't feel like it, or if she just felt that as an independant lady she'd rather pay her own way. Whatever the reason, I'd go dutch if that's what she wanted, otherwise I'll pay.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

also thinking about it

i keep drifting off into different situations here lol

i think it would depends if i liked them and wanted to meet them again

if i liked a guy and wished to meet him again id be happier to help pay than if it was someone i wasnt bothered about seeing again as i wouldnt be bothered about what they thought of me and i would want to leave a guy i liked with a good impression of me

thats bad isnt it? lol

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"define considerate??? all we know is what we have been taught!!"

Considerate - having or showing regard for others and their feelings

If the later of your comment was true - would all of us be here on this site?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"To me, a gentleman is a man who is considerate of how their actions may make the other person feel... not someone who has to stick to the rules of their forefathers.

That's what I said, wasn't it???

It is what you said pretty much... and I almost quoted you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To me, a gentleman is a man who is considerate of how their actions may make the other person feel... not someone who has to stick to the rules of their forefathers.

That's what I said, wasn't it???

It is what you said pretty much... and I almost quoted you."

Phew! - now we got that established.... your purse or mine?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Call me old fashioned ...

You're old fashioned."

Lol, thanks! Call me sexy as well if you like!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Call me old fashioned ...

You're old fashioned.

Lol, thanks! Call me sexy as well if you like!"

i know wasnt my post but hell..i'll call you sexy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Call me old fashioned ...

You're old fashioned.

Lol, thanks! Call me sexy as well if you like!

i know wasnt my post but hell..i'll call you sexy

*blush!*, and thanks! You're not too bad yourself!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Call me old fashioned ...

You're old fashioned.

Lol, thanks! Call me sexy as well if you like!

i know wasnt my post but hell..i'll call you sexy

*blush!*, and thanks! You're not too bad yourself!

why thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Call me old fashioned ...

You're old fashioned.

Lol, thanks! Call me sexy as well if you like!

i know wasnt my post but hell..i'll call you sexy

*blush!*, and thanks! You're not too bad yourself!

why thank you

xx"

You're most welcome!

And, what a commotion this thread has caused!

This is almost beginning to sound like a love in...

*Ahem, reaches for a cold beer!*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Call me old fashioned ...

You're old fashioned.

Lol, thanks! Call me sexy as well if you like!

i know wasnt my post but hell..i'll call you sexy

*blush!*, and thanks! You're not too bad yourself!

why thank you

You're most welcome!

And, what a commotion this thread has caused!

This is almost beginning to sound like a love in...

*Ahem, reaches for a cold beer!*"

i fancy a drink n all.. white wine n lemonade. im buying it though

haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"!*

i fancy a drink n all.. white wine n lemonade. im buying it though

haha"

Lol!, like your style! Cheers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But, I can understand why a woman would want to split it, and fair enough, if she wants to.

As for location, it really depends on how you're both feeling.- informal drinks omin a cosy bar is great, but restaurants are good too,- maybe not a stupidly formal one though!!

however, that offer has absolutely no strings attached... i would never expect a shag just because i had paid nor would i do it in an attempt to imply that i have a good job or money etc."

I see it as a "hosting" thing, if I invite then I would pay and hence if invited would allow the other to pay.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I see it as a "hosting" thing, if I invite then I would pay and hence if invited would allow the other to pay."

yeah can understand that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"!*

i fancy a drink n all.. white wine n lemonade. im buying it though

haha

Lol!, like your style! Cheers!"

cheers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"!*

i fancy a drink n all.. white wine n lemonade. im buying it though

haha

Lol!, like your style! Cheers!

cheers!

Next time I'm down your way, I'll shout you a wine n lemonade!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"!*

i fancy a drink n all.. white wine n lemonade. im buying it though

haha

Lol!, like your style! Cheers!

cheers!

Next time I'm down your way, I'll shout you a wine n lemonade!"

ta me dear

medium white lol.. im fussy lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"!*

i fancy a drink n all.. white wine n lemonade. im buying it though

haha

Lol!, like your style! Cheers!

cheers!

Next time I'm down your way, I'll shout you a wine n lemonade!

ta me dear

medium white lol.. im fussy lol"

I like my ladies to be choosy!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

its only with the wine that im fussy lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"its only with the wine that im fussy lol"

Lol, easy the rest of the time?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my day, if a guy asked you out on a date he paid and never expected anything in return, ok I know it's more an age of equality now but I think the principle should still apply

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Personally, I think some people are getting too hung up on "equality". For heaven sakes, it's a date!!!

If a man wants to buy you a meal accept it in good grace. The next time you pay, or you get the drinks in...why does everything have to be a battle of the sexes?!!

Have we become so wrapped up in equality that we refuse a date because we don't want a man to buy us a drink?!!

Hell's bells!!!

There's going to be a lot of loney, miserable women around I fear...and serve you all bloody right!

Bollox is the short answer.

I don't have a problem with guys who say they like to pay because it makes them feel good or "I wanted to because I like you".... but "expect" to pay, just because of some outdated notions.

Give me a free thinking man any day.

Nobody is preventing you from thinking what you like!

Not all of us feel we have to over analyse everything!

I don't feel anyone is preventing me from thinking what I like.... hence the 'bollox' meaning I don't agree with your advice... and by giving your advice it appeared more as if you were suggesting others should give up on their own opinions by saying "If a man wants to buy you a meal accept it in good grace."

From my perspective, it's not about equality or a battle of the sexes, it's about what makes me feel comfortable at the time. It's fine saying you pay next time, but what if I already know I don't want a next time.

I don't expect anyone to do anything because they think it is 'expected'... and who pays for what is certainly not on my criteria of what makes a nice guy.

I believe a nice guy or gentleman would allow me to have some say or choice in the matter... and sometimes I may very well choose to let him pay if he wants to.

As for the comment about over analysing, this comment seems to pop up in verious threads from time to time (not from you - just you in this instance) and it does make me chuckle as it often seems to be used as a standard reply to people who have alternative opinion. I doubt I spent a nano-second analysing this subject.... through living my life, I just know how I feel and have felt in the past.

The later part of your post... well I guess it was intended as tongue in cheek as it is taking things way out of context and I doubt you would seriously suggest women deserve to be loney and miserable if they don't let men foot the bill.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

i have only ever been on a handful of dates...but to my mind if someone asks you out,,then they pay,i mean they offered.

Simples,nothing to do with male or female just manners,if i suggested to a fiend we go for coffee i would offer to pay as it was my idea.Isnt that just good manners?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i have only ever been on a handful of dates...but to my mind if someone asks you out,,then they pay,i mean they offered.

Simples,nothing to do with male or female just manners,if i suggested to a fiend we go for coffee i would offer to pay as it was my idea.Isnt that just good manners?"

Apparently not! You're to argue the toss and split the bill 50/50, shake hands at the door and leave in separate directions. Oh, don't forget taser, pepper spray et al should your date make the cardinal sin and offer to escort you to your car!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

".... and offer to escort you to your car!

If I'm using an escort I'd expect more for my money than a walk to the car

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".... and offer to escort you to your car!

If I'm using an escort I'd expect more for my money than a walk to the car

Voice of experience?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is the done thing the way you were brought up,maybe i`m old fashioned too

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

".... and offer to escort you to your car!

If I'm using an escort I'd expect more for my money than a walk to the car

Voice of experience?! "

I fear for the moment it is just common sense.... but I am toying with the idea.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

If i was going on a date, i would expect the guy to pay, unless it was me that had asked them out. Ive never gone 50/50 with anyone the thought wouldnt cross my mind. Im talking about first dates here

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