FabSwingers.com forum: Received a letter

By *olgate OP Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

A letter Home from New Army Recruit

Dear Mom and Dad

I am well and I hope you are two Surry about any splelt wrong words as you know had no use for it on the farm. Tel big brothers Jason and Steve to hurry up and join this Army thing before all the jobs go. Took some getting used to first thing dey don’t get up till 6.00 in the mornnin. I like sleeping in now it’s so easy all you gota do is shine your shoes and make your bed before breakfast. Brillient I can eat all the porridge I wan’t. No cows to milk no mucking out no calfs to feed and no hay to stack, simple. I have to do this washing thing every morning .Showering they calls it not bad has it’s own lights and everything. Mom ,dad you wont believe this they have sit down on seats inside shit houses You don’t even have to go up the field and dig a hole when the buckets full. You get fed again at lunch with loads of stuff ,those city boys by then are knackered. We go on a march thing, Its easy a little bag on your back its like walking down to the bottom field to bring back a sack of turnips.

This will make Jason and Steve laugh. They keep giving me medals for shooting at this target that is as big as Old Ma Carvers arse. An it don’t move.

It seems I am good at this boxing lark two I have beaten everyone in the platoon so far. Then I had to fight this six foot three Para. As you know I am only five foot five and a skinny but I fought him until they carried me off him.

Next week I take on three blokes from the RAF Regiment at once.

I have no complaints about this Army thing tell big brothers to join up before everyone knows about it.

Your Loving Daughter

Maria