FabSwingers.com forum: advice please

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi there I no I'm going to get negative advice but please try and help and not Slag me

Hi I'm a 35 year old divorced man I left my wife for a girl that promised me all she told me that a man should be pleasure in the bedroom dept and as when we first meet I told her I had a massive sex drive and wife isn't giving me an thing we never slept together while I was married just wanted to point that out after I split with wife my sex life was great for about 3 months then it started to slow down and now I'm lucky if I get it once a month when I approach her about it she says that sex isn't everything but it is if you have a high drive and I left my wife because off it

What should I do ?

And if anyone says that I shouldn't be on here because I have a girlfriend then before you say it she is why I'm on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi there I no I'm going to get negative advice but please try and help and not Slag me

What should I do ?

And if anyone says that I shouldn't be on here because I have a girlfriend then before you say it she is why I'm on here

So you left your wife cos you didn't get as much sex as you need from her. Started a relationship with a woman who promised lots of sex and now she isn't giving you it either.

Hmm I'd say this is a good case of grass isn't always greener, maybe should have talked and tried to improve things with your wife.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Sex gets boring it`s simple, and we get lazy as we get to know someone. Not sure what the answer is to your plight except men are easily lead by their cocks, and I guess Karma sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile text somewhat contradicts this little confessional. Just an observation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I left my wife because off other reason that I won't say so no that wasn't the case

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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago

North Cambs

My ex of 6 years and I split last year because our sex life just wasn't satisfactory and we couldn't find a way of making it so (I think I had just stopped fancying her enough).

In the end, be it on your own or as part of a relationship, for most of us (and especially those of us on a site like this), sex is a hugely important part of our lives and cannot simply be ignored.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Your profile text somewhat contradicts this little confessional. Just an observation. "

I thought that to

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Follow my lead O.P. give your ex's all your wealth, then live alone avoid relationships and fuck all you want when you want.

In short....be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A long-term relationship based entirely on the excitement of new-partner sex seems unlikely.

Leaving a loving, stable, otherwise happy long term relationship for a new fuck friend seems to be what some people on here advocate, but it seems pretty daft to me. Sorry.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your profile text somewhat contradicts this little confessional. Just an observation.

I thought that to

My profile states that I'm divorced haven't said why and it says I'm single nothing with that like many others on site but anyway that wasn't my question

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

No relationship can be all sex all the time.

If you're in constant need of sex then you may have a problem and should speak to a medical professional.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No relationship can be all sex all the time.

If you're in constant need of sex then you may have a problem and should speak to a medical professional. "

So what your saying I need medical advice because I want sex more then once a month great advice I think I'll book appointment with the hospital lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No relationship can be all sex all the time.

If you're in constant need of sex then you may have a problem and should speak to a medical professional.

So what your saying I need medical advice because I want sex more then once a month great advice I think I'll book appointment with the hospital lol

And that's coming from a couple that has sex 7 times in the last month with different people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd forget about relationships and fuck about for awhile while you have a think about what you want in life!.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"No relationship can be all sex all the time.

If you're in constant need of sex then you may have a problem and should speak to a medical professional.

So what your saying I need medical advice because I want sex more then once a month great advice I think I'll book appointment with the hospital lol

No, I'm saying in your opening statement you said that you left your wife for a girl because she promised you non stop sex, and now you're not getting that you're complaining.

Perhaps another option would have been to discuss things with your wife and come to an arrangement with her over your higher sex drive.

Although now you're saying that the reason you left your wife wasn't because of the sex so you're contradicting yourself.

Regardless of the reasons, if all you want is constant sex then perhaps you are leaning towards an addiction. Hence the medical professional.

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By *ugar_n_spice23Woman
over a year ago

wandsworth

Sex drives are rarely matched within a couple.

My partner is very inhibited..thinks any sex apart from missionary with the light off is dirty.

You adapt. You stay for the out of bedroom stuff and find discreet outlets for you wild side.

Its not perfect, but its better than blowing relationships apart chasing thrills.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"No relationship can be all sex all the time.

If you're in constant need of sex then you may have a problem and should speak to a medical professional. "

This properly made me giggle!

Talk about wasting NHS time!

As an aside... the OP didn't ask for critique on his profile... any chance you can just give advice if you have any without picking through the profile?

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

"Your profile text somewhat contradicts this little confessional. Just an observation. "

From experience of being married and living with a twat it gets boring ...lol

This partner is smoking hot... we don`t live together and I will never live with someone ever.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"No relationship can be all sex all the time.

If you're in constant need of sex then you may have a problem and should speak to a medical professional.

So what your saying I need medical advice because I want sex more then once a month great advice I think I'll book appointment with the hospital lol

And that's coming from a couple that has sex 7 times in the last month with different people "

Then you need your eyes tested too, apparently.

3 of those 7 verifications in the last month or so are socials, and one is from a couple who until recently had separate profiles and now have a joint one (and is also a social veri).

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No relationship can be all sex all the time.

If you're in constant need of sex then you may have a problem and should speak to a medical professional.

This properly made me giggle!

Talk about wasting NHS time!

As an aside... the OP didn't ask for critique on his profile... any chance you can just give advice if you have any without picking through the profile?

Thank you

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"No relationship can be all sex all the time.

If you're in constant need of sex then you may have a problem and should speak to a medical professional.

This properly made me giggle!

Talk about wasting NHS time!

As an aside... the OP didn't ask for critique on his profile... any chance you can just give advice if you have any without picking through the profile?

I didn't look at his profile, I read his opening statement.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"No relationship can be all sex all the time.

If you're in constant need of sex then you may have a problem and should speak to a medical professional.

This properly made me giggle!

Talk about wasting NHS time!

As an aside... the OP didn't ask for critique on his profile... any chance you can just give advice if you have any without picking through the profile?

I didn't look at his profile, I read his opening statement."

That part wasn't aimed at you... which is why I said 'as an aside...'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP my sweet, don't get chippy with people, I don't think anyone was being deliberately unpleasant. I would suggest you try to have a chat with your girlfriend (which is what I was referring to in suggesting their may be some inconsisteny in your profile) and calmly explain that it's important to you. I would try to step away from directly saying "I left my wife because I wasn't getting any" though. Perhaps try to find out why she doesn't want it as much and work on that. I'd leave Fab out of it for a while as it doesn't seem to offer instashag for single chaps and could just frustrate you all the more. HHx

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

[Removed by poster at 26/01/16 13:36:38]

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"No relationship can be all sex all the time.

If you're in constant need of sex then you may have a problem and should speak to a medical professional.

This properly made me giggle!

Talk about wasting NHS time!

As an aside... the OP didn't ask for critique on his profile... any chance you can just give advice if you have any without picking through the profile?

I didn't look at his profile, I read his opening statement.

That part wasn't aimed at you... which is why I said 'as an aside...'

Fairy snuff

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No relationship can be all sex all the time.

If you're in constant need of sex then you may have a problem and should speak to a medical professional.

So what your saying I need medical advice because I want sex more then once a month great advice I think I'll book appointment with the hospital lol

And that's coming from a couple that has sex 7 times in the last month with different people

Then you need your eyes tested too, apparently.

3 of those 7 verifications in the last month or so are socials, and one is from a couple who until recently had separate profiles and now have a joint one (and is also a social veri)."

Listen I left my wife for reason I won't discuss

And yes partly to do with sex but main part was something else

Anyway the question wasn't about my wife it was about new relationship

And as for you comment on my eyes tested

I'm sure you would be pretty shocked if your other half turned around next week and said let's stop all this and go back to normal sex between yourself and then turn around and say your only getting it once a month. now tell me I need help .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Talking to your partner is the only way forward, find out why sex has dwindled between you and try as a couple to improve that. If that seems impossible or unlikely and sex is what holds you together then the relationship is no longer what it was and you need to either rethink the terms of it or move on.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP my sweet, don't get chippy with people, I don't think anyone was being deliberately unpleasant. I would suggest you try to have a chat with your girlfriend (which is what I was referring to in suggesting their may be some inconsisteny in your profile) and calmly explain that it's important to you. I would try to step away from directly saying "I left my wife because I wasn't getting any" though. Perhaps try to find out why she doesn't want it as much and work on that. I'd leave Fab out of it for a while as it doesn't seem to offer instashag for single chaps and could just frustrate you all the more. HHx "
Thank you for good advice

I have tried many times to talk to her just causes a argument and we don't chat then see appolgise and we have sex then it's goes back to normal after that but thank you again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think all the talk about sex is confusing you a bit!.

As far as I can tell what your struggling with, is your inability to decipher what somebody is promising you and what the reality will be!...

Now I'll break this too you gently.. People lie! Sometimes on purpose other times less so, it's just one of those human traits, like everybody says they hate Jeremy kyle... And then they post a thread saying who's watching

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"No relationship can be all sex all the time.

If you're in constant need of sex then you may have a problem and should speak to a medical professional.

So what your saying I need medical advice because I want sex more then once a month great advice I think I'll book appointment with the hospital lol

And that's coming from a couple that has sex 7 times in the last month with different people

Then you need your eyes tested too, apparently.

3 of those 7 verifications in the last month or so are socials, and one is from a couple who until recently had separate profiles and now have a joint one (and is also a social veri).

Listen I left my wife for reason I won't discuss

And yes partly to do with sex but main part was something else

Anyway the question wasn't about my wife it was about new relationship

And as for you comment on my eyes tested

Yet the last line of your opening post was about how you left your wife because of your high sex drive. I don't need to know other reasons, I was pointing out that you were contradicting yourself.

As others have said, communication is key so talk to your girlfriend about it rather than a bunch of strangers. That's the only way you're going to get the answers you seek. There may be a reason that she's suddenly gone off sex, or it may just be that she doesn't need it as much as you. You'll only find out by talking to her.

And to answer your last, which has nothing to do with you not reading our veris properly, I do this with him as something we both enjoy together. We're secure enough that if one of us wanted to pull the plug tomorrow, we would. Because we care about each other and there's more to us than just sex.

But good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another man that's profile clearly stats he's "single" I think your very confused as are a lot of the "single" men on here!!

Absolutely no offence to those genuinely honest profiles whether you are married, single or attached, we all have our own reasons for being on here at least be honest on your profile X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No relationship can be all sex all the time.

If you're in constant need of sex then you may have a problem and should speak to a medical professional.

So what your saying I need medical advice because I want sex more then once a month great advice I think I'll book appointment with the hospital lol

And that's coming from a couple that has sex 7 times in the last month with different people

Then you need your eyes tested too, apparently.

3 of those 7 verifications in the last month or so are socials, and one is from a couple who until recently had separate profiles and now have a joint one (and is also a social veri).

Listen I left my wife for reason I won't discuss

And yes partly to do with sex but main part was something else

Anyway the question wasn't about my wife it was about new relationship

And as for you comment on my eyes tested

Did your new girlfriend give you lots of sex in the beginning and then as soon as you left your wife she stopped giving you sex? That's false advertising, there's laws for that stuff. I would say to her look I left my wife cos I wasn't getting enough sex now I'm gonna have to leave you as well. Sexual compatibility is important in a relationship.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"I think all the talk about sex is confusing you a bit!.

As far as I can tell what your struggling with, is your inability to decipher what somebody is promising you and what the reality will be!...

I am absolutely honest about hating Jeremy Kyle. I will not sully my eyeballs with that crap!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"Hi there I no I'm going to get negative advice but please try and help and not Slag me

What should I do ?

And if anyone says that I shouldn't be on here because I have a girlfriend then before you say it she is why I'm on here

Do you ever just show affection with no expectation for sex ? Have you spoken to your girlfriend about things? Have you tried relationship coucilling with the girl friend ? Only by working together will you and your girlfriend find a way forward.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi there I no I'm going to get negative advice but please try and help and not Slag me

What should I do ?

And if anyone says that I shouldn't be on here because I have a girlfriend then before you say it she is why I'm on here

I am very romantic person and she gets everything from me this is a normal day

We both get up go to work I finish earlier to her so I come home get house sorted then cook diner she come in I tell her I'm running her a bath then she gets out plotters about house doing things and then tells me she is going to bed I then lay in bed looking a ceiling and then turn and she is asleep and thus happen most nights

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

You do chores ..that's great but do you show her affection with clearly no intention for it leading to sex? You say further up thread you cant really dicuss her lack of interest so you both need then relationship coucilling . This will open then open the communication in a constructive way ,and both sides are heard impartially . Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take pity on me, I need a shag, The wife, the girl friend, the mother in law, is there a sister a cousin, !!! Wanking is not a Chinese takeaway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Take pity on me, I need a shag, The wife, the girl friend, the mother in law, is there a sister a cousin, !!! Wanking is not a Chinese takeaway. "

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By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

Ah the old enticed with clunge and then pull up the drawbridge after 3 months routine. I had that with my 1st wife, count yourself lucky, there was no internet back then, only porn mags/video's and the 10 minute free_iew.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

sex worker?

might help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi there I no I'm going to get negative advice but please try and help and not Slag me

What should I do ?

And if anyone says that I shouldn't be on here because I have a girlfriend then before you say it she is why I'm on here

I want an awful lot of sex. I have never met a man who can keep up with me in a monogamous relationship.

So now I am non-monogamous and I have multiple partners. It is much better for me, because I have a shot at being sexually satisfied (I also love variety).

Perhaps you could consider non-monogamy of some sort, so as not to find yourself in this situation again?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You can only talk it through with your current partner, to see what you both would like to happen from here, as well as what you're willing to do to make changes for it to work.

No real communication between you from this point onwards then you may as well get out now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a very high sex drive and up until I met Adam I was very happy (I'm still happy of course!) with the amount of sex I was getting both off here and other, now I've met him and we only have the chance to stay with each other four times a month you can imagine how I'm feeling inbetween but I'm accepting of the situation because we love each other and we make up for it while we are together but the rest of the time I have to make do with the manual way!!

My answer is this: if you want a lot of sex then you need to finish this relationship because to you the relationship is sex, your girlfriend thinks otherwise and at the time she probably would have said anything to get you away from your wife (forgive me if I'm wrong on that), if you love her you will stay with her and have sex when and if it happens, if sex is more important than your relationship, the deeper stuff you need to end it.

G x

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By *hoenixmanMan
over a year ago

Where men are men, and sheep are nervous...!

Ahem... may I be so bold as to point something out...

Regardless of the reason why the OP's marriage/relationship(s) have ended, just on the basis of the two situations he describes, there is a pattern emerging and a common-denominator.

The pattern appears to be: Man has high sex drive, woman doesn't. Man leaves her for GF with 'apparently' high sex drive, who then wants it no more than the ex-wife.

Two women treating the same guy the same way...? Common denominator....? Is this about the women, .... or the guy/OP..?

Know where I'd put my money...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ahem... may I be so bold as to point something out...

Regardless of the reason why the OP's marriage/relationship(s) have ended, just on the basis of the two situations he describes, there is a pattern emerging and a common-denominator.

The pattern appears to be: Man has high sex drive, woman doesn't. Man leaves her for GF with 'apparently' high sex drive, who then wants it no more than the ex-wife.

Two women treating the same guy the same way...? Common denominator....? Is this about the women, .... or the guy/OP..?

Know where I'd put my money..."
shargar x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have tried many times to talk to her just causes a argument and we don't chat then see appolgise and we have sex then it's goes back to normal after that but thank you again "

If you only have sex when it appears to be an apology on her part you need to break that cycle. Of course she doesn't enjoy sex if that's how she _iews it.

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

You ask 'what should you do'

On how to increase sex with your girlfriend?

Or how to get more than once a month sex'

Your question isn't clear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just my thoughts and not meant in a negative way.

Maybe your current girlfriend got a thrill from having sex with somebody's man and now she has you she doesn't want you anymore. Ask her about her previous relationships and see if there is a link.

My other piece of advice would be maybe try living apart for a time to break up that familiarity, if you wish to work out between you too.

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