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Dom and/or Alpha Males

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Following from Katie's post (which I found very interesting!)

What is the difference between Dom and Alpha males?? Is there a difference?

This is a genuine question as I am seriously intrigued.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None lol

I feel a Dom male is Dom in the bedroom and an alpha male is in charge of every day life or so he thinks xx

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"None lol

I feel a Dom male is Dom in the bedroom and an alpha male is in charge of every day life or so he thinks xx"

Now you've confused me... you say there's no difference but then you give a difference?

Make up your mind women!

I don't know the difference either of course... I think there can be a difference because I know a lot of alpha males who aren't Dom in the bedroom. I think that's probably quite common. High flying jobs etc. often they want a woman who's going to Domme them.

We're all different. It goes back to labels I suppose. Do we really need them?

Can alpha males be submissive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know if anyone saw this weeks 'One Born Every Minute' but there was a prime example of a man domineering his missus while being an alpha male towards the midwife delivering his child. This has to be the ultimate scenario where a man needs to take a back seat lol! But no he came in all guns blazing, answering for his wife when she was asked what sort of birth plan she needed, butting in every time his wife tried to speak, then telling the midwife to keep an eye on things so forceps would not be needed 'like the last time'. When his wife was in pain with the early contractions he was saying "yes, this is what we want for you to progress.. it sounded so unsympathetic and not the right place to be domineering or vying for control. The womans sister was there for the birth too and I thought she was going to thump him at one point her eyes were rolling and she and the midwife were exchanging seriously, I'm gonna kill him faces. Sometimes the dom or alpha needs to just apply a cold flannel to the brow and prepare his fingers for the crushing theyre gonna get...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there is a difference. A dom generally needs a sub whereas an alpha male is just an alpha male and will possess those traits in general life.

However like the previous post said, an alpha doesn't neccesarily have to be a dom in sexual situations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The alpha male is the dominant male who maintains a presence or control over other males. A dominant male is more a term used in a sexual orientation between 2 or more partners of any sex. This isn’t an perfect definition but gives you the main difference you will find many men are both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was on my phone for much of yesterday so did not think I could give this the reply I thought it deserved..

Now this is just my opinion..

An Alpha male is very much the leader of a group, in a home he will be man of the house, he will perhaps be the one that is loudest down the pub with his mates. They will all look up to him..and has a great deal of respect..

The women normally flock too.. its just something that seems to happen.

However, he does not feel the need to assert his position over others.. he has it and that is enough.

A dominant male to me likes to have that position of an Alpha male but those below him ( I know some hate this term but its what it will always be seen as to me) will be reminded from time to time..

I dont think that there is any set type though, some I know are very into it for what they get out of it.. others its about the control only..

Some dominate much like a father would a child.. in a kind but firm way.. others not so.

I just think the difference is that a dominant man will assert his authority where a Alpha male is content to just be the alpha.

bit like you would had clan leaders if you go back to cave men days. :D

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Following from Katie's post (which I found very interesting!)

What is the difference between Dom and Alpha males?? Is there a difference?

This is a genuine question as I am seriously intrigued.

"

An Alpha male is the leader of the pack. A dom is the other half of a sub. Doms can actually be quite submissive in their every day life. They're not necessarily dominant outside of their comfort zone because they also seek that intense trust the sub seeks so aren't necessarily willing to show their dominant side to the world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

An Alpha male is the leader of the pack. A dom is the other half of a sub. Doms can actually be quite submissive in their every day life. They're not necessarily dominant outside of their comfort zone because they also seek that intense trust the sub seeks so aren't necessarily willing to show their dominant side to the world."

See now when I meet Doms that are submissive in everyday life I dont see them as dominant..

Master is dominant in every aspect of his life..

but I do like the point of them being the other half of a sub.. as we are definately two halves of the same whole.. I give my trust completely.

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know if anyone saw this weeks 'One Born Every Minute' but there was a prime example of a man domineering his missus while being an alpha male towards the midwife delivering his child. This has to be the ultimate scenario where a man needs to take a back seat lol! But no he came in all guns blazing, answering for his wife when she was asked what sort of birth plan she needed, butting in every time his wife tried to speak, then telling the midwife to keep an eye on things so forceps would not be needed 'like the last time'. When his wife was in pain with the early contractions he was saying "yes, this is what we want for you to progress.. it sounded so unsympathetic and not the right place to be domineering or vying for control. The womans sister was there for the birth too and I thought she was going to thump him at one point her eyes were rolling and she and the midwife were exchanging seriously, I'm gonna kill him faces. Sometimes the dom or alpha needs to just apply a cold flannel to the brow and prepare his fingers for the crushing theyre gonna get..."

Personally, I didn't see him as an alpha male at all..domineering and a twat certainly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Personally, I didn't see him as an alpha male at all..domineering and a twat certainly. "

I think that there is a caring aspect of most Doms or Alpha men actually, that they would fiercly defend and look after their own..

which is why it annoys me when people think being dominant is a kin with bullying.

katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Following from Katie's post (which I found very interesting!)

What is the difference between Dom and Alpha males?? Is there a difference?

This is a genuine question as I am seriously intrigued.

An Alpha male is the leader of the pack. A dom is the other half of a sub. Doms can actually be quite submissive in their every day life. They're not necessarily dominant outside of their comfort zone because they also seek that intense trust the sub seeks so aren't necessarily willing to show their dominant side to the world."

Now you see I'd have to disagree with you there. I'm dominant in all aspects of my life, work and sexually...I don't like relinquising control for anything. I even undergo medical procedures witout the aide of anaesthetics where they'll let me as I don't even want to be anyone else's influence.

Conversely, the subs I play with are all alpha males everywhere else, but with me...and that I like!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

An Alpha male is the leader of the pack. A dom is the other half of a sub. Doms can actually be quite submissive in their every day life. They're not necessarily dominant outside of their comfort zone because they also seek that intense trust the sub seeks so aren't necessarily willing to show their dominant side to the world.

See now when I meet Doms that are submissive in everyday life I dont see them as dominant..

Master is dominant in every aspect of his life..

but I do like the point of them being the other half of a sub.. as we are definately two halves of the same whole.. I give my trust completely.

Katie.x"

Some are alpha in all aspects of life, Katie. Some aren't. Some only keep that side of themselves for their sub and it works the other way round too. Many subs are dominant in every day life but not in the bedroom. Me, for instance. Although I'll only be properly sub in a relationship. Therefore I tend not to play that game in the swinging scene though I will engage in S&M activity. Trust is required for S&M but not that greater depth and intimacy required for the dom/sub relationship. That's something that needs to be built upon, brick by brick. In my experience anyway, but everyone's different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Personally, I didn't see him as an alpha male at all..domineering and a twat certainly.

I think that there is a caring aspect of most Doms or Alpha men actually, that they would fiercly defend and look after their own..

which is why it annoys me when people think being dominant is a kin with bullying.

katie. x"

I know what you mean. I had one would be playmate ask when it would be his turn to "boss me around". He asked this on a social meet, so it didn't go any further, as he obviously didn't have any understanding of the dynamics of a D/s relationship!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Following from Katie's post (which I found very interesting!)

What is the difference between Dom and Alpha males?? Is there a difference?

This is a genuine question as I am seriously intrigued.

An Alpha male is the leader of the pack. A dom is the other half of a sub. Doms can actually be quite submissive in their every day life. They're not necessarily dominant outside of their comfort zone because they also seek that intense trust the sub seeks so aren't necessarily willing to show their dominant side to the world.

Now you see I'd have to disagree with you there. I'm dominant in all aspects of my life, work and sexually...I don't like relinquising control for anything. I even undergo medical procedures witout the aide of anaesthetics where they'll let me as I don't even want to be anyone else's influence.

Conversely, the subs I play with are all alpha males everywhere else, but with me...and that I like! "

I know many are, I was trying to point out, some aren't. You're last sentence coincides with my response to Katie. I think we are on the same wave length here, I just don't think I worded it correctly

I also think some alpha males are just loud and balshy, not necessarily as confident as they make out. Doms don't need to make their presence known so obviously, yet they have a presence about them which isn't often missed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Some are alpha in all aspects of life, Katie. Some aren't. Some only keep that side of themselves for their sub and it works the other way round too. Many subs are dominant in every day life but not in the bedroom. Me, for instance. Although I'll only be properly sub in a relationship. Therefore I tend not to play that game in the swinging scene though I will engage in S&M activity. Trust is required for S&M but not that greater depth and intimacy required for the dom/sub relationship. That's something that needs to be built upon, brick by brick. In my experience anyway, but everyone's different."

I was stating for me.. that for me to see a man as dominant ( being a very dominant person in my day to day life) that I need my Dominant man to be the type that is dominant at all times.. Yes I know that Master has a loving caring side, but it doesnt affect that he is dominant.

I love seeing him in the workplace and the respect and control that is issued really without effort... its just how he is..

That was what I meant.. not saying that all dominant men have to be dominant all the time.. just that for me to see them as, they have to be.

Does that make sense.. I know what I mean.. lol

I am submissive to Master and Master alone... only way another man dominates me is when Master gets an assistant for certain Play.. or if we find a playmate that will dominate me via Masters commands.. then to me I am being dominatied by Master not the other guy.

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dominance isn`t always defined by loudness or braggido..

Some males can assert their dominance by body language, charisma, and a quiet word ..

Just a thought....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Some are alpha in all aspects of life, Katie. Some aren't. Some only keep that side of themselves for their sub and it works the other way round too. Many subs are dominant in every day life but not in the bedroom. Me, for instance. Although I'll only be properly sub in a relationship. Therefore I tend not to play that game in the swinging scene though I will engage in S&M activity. Trust is required for S&M but not that greater depth and intimacy required for the dom/sub relationship. That's something that needs to be built upon, brick by brick. In my experience anyway, but everyone's different.

I was stating for me.. that for me to see a man as dominant ( being a very dominant person in my day to day life) that I need my Dominant man to be the type that is dominant at all times.. Yes I know that Master has a loving caring side, but it doesnt affect that he is dominant.

I love seeing him in the workplace and the respect and control that is issued really without effort... its just how he is..

That was what I meant.. not saying that all dominant men have to be dominant all the time.. just that for me to see them as, they have to be.

Does that make sense.. I know what I mean.. lol

I am submissive to Master and Master alone... only way another man dominates me is when Master gets an assistant for certain Play.. or if we find a playmate that will dominate me via Masters commands.. then to me I am being dominatied by Master not the other guy.

Katie. x"

It makes perfect sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"None lol

I feel a Dom male is Dom in the bedroom and an alpha male is in charge of every day life or so he thinks xx

Now you've confused me... you say there's no difference but then you give a difference?

Make up your mind women!

I don't know the difference either of course... I think there can be a difference because I know a lot of alpha males who aren't Dom in the bedroom. I think that's probably quite common. High flying jobs etc. often they want a woman who's going to Domme them.

We're all different. It goes back to labels I suppose. Do we really need them?

Can alpha males be submissive?

"

I think an alpha male would be sub. Sorry for confusing you I confuse myself sometimes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dominance isn`t always defined by loudness or braggido..

Some males can assert their dominance by body language, charisma, and a quiet word ..

Just a thought....

"

That's what I was trying to say lol Thank you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/11 13:11:51]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Conversely, the subs I play with are all alpha males everywhere else, but with me...and that I like! "

I think my Master likes the same thing about me.. As I am certainly not submissive in any other place.. only with my Master.. and thats at all times with respect to him..

I think after reading how you define yourself Master is like that..and for me that is what I need in a dominant.. That he would not give up control.. its always his.. :D

oh I am rambling.. :D

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dominance isn`t always defined by loudness or braggido..

Some males can assert their dominance by body language, charisma, and a quiet word ..

Just a thought....

"

lol thats so true... a mention of my Slave name and I am pulled into line so quick its unreal.. ( I also think oh dear)

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for your reponses.

I have come to the conclusion that I have met a few "alpha" males but have yet to meet a "Dom" who will bring out the "sub" in me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for your reponses.

I have come to the conclusion that I have met a few "alpha" males but have yet to meet a "Dom" who will bring out the "sub" in me.

"

There are few who'd bring it out in me. But I have come across one or two, just far too far away. I could tell they were doms before I met them and not once did they have to say they were. They knew it and so did I, though none of us had mentioned dom/sub relationships at any point prior.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for your reponses.

I have come to the conclusion that I have met a few "alpha" males but have yet to meet a "Dom" who will bring out the "sub" in me.

"

That is what happened to me... and ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh was it a shock in a good way to my system.. I am far more content and happy though..

I sign off on a fetish forum with the following and I do truly believe it

"I was born to be my Masters slave, I have always been my Masters slave, I just had to find him and then serve him."

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dominance isn`t always defined by loudness or braggido..

Some males can assert their dominance by body language, charisma, and a quiet word ..

Just a thought....

That's what I was trying to say lol Thank you!"

Lol you`re welcome....fascinating topic isn`t it ......means different things to different peeps...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can do both roles depending on my mate,I am very submissive with my other 1/2 but with other men I am very dom. So any subs male or femme get in touch

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks for your reponses.

I have come to the conclusion that I have met a few "alpha" males but have yet to meet a "Dom" who will bring out the "sub" in me.

There are few who'd bring it out in me. But I have come across one or two, just far too far away. I could tell they were doms before I met them and not once did they have to say they were. They knew it and so did I, though none of us had mentioned dom/sub relationships at any point prior."

I live in hope!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

wouldn't the simplest different that a dom male dominates their subs... where as an alpha male tries to dominate everyone, top of the ladder so to speak.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put 20 alpha males together and observe the dynamics of dominance....

The pack leader so to speak.....

Mayhaps...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dominance isn`t always defined by loudness or braggido..

Some males can assert their dominance by body language, charisma, and a quiet word ..

Just a thought....

"

I like this, the way I see it there is domination through oppression and domination through respect and trust. Very different but both both exist to one extent or another and always have.

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