FabSwingers.com forum: Depression

By *lfie OP Woman
over a year ago

South Dublin

Struggling with the worst period of depression I have had in so long. Have totally isolated myself and withdrawn, sucked into the internet, no good feelings from exercise anymore though I am forcing myself to do it.

I am reluctant to go back on meds. I don't know what to do, I feel like I am outside real life looking in but not part of it.

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

make a GP appointment for tomorrow or if your feelings worsen, go see someone today

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"make a GP appointment for tomorrow or if your feelings worsen, go see someone today

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to speak to a professional, meds and everything else should be about helping you to be better long term. Not just hiding the symptoms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you have a friend you can talk to?

Make appointment with gp.. They're not just there to dish out meds

Keep doing your exercise it will be helping more than you realise

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Really should go to see doctor.. why are you not wanting to take meds again. I know I felt better back in summer and thought I would stop but I realised it was better to stay on them. Thank goodness I did. Hit a real low now. Do think about taking them again. x Feel better soon.

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By *ormalguy71Man
over a year ago

Tunbridge Wells

Have you tried any of the adult colouring books?? Really relaxing and rewarding to do x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never heard of the adult colouring books. Is it something that get recommended to help with depression? I've suffered for years, so know about my depression just trying to find new ways to help me cope.

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By *lfie OP Woman
over a year ago

South Dublin

"Really should go to see doctor.. why are you not wanting to take meds again. I know I felt better back in summer and thought I would stop but I realised it was better to stay on them. Thank goodness I did. Hit a real low now. Do think about taking them again. x Feel better soon. "

Because the meds made me feel like a zombie, or I was living in a bubble. But yes, I think I have to consider them this time to get me over the hump.

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By *lfie OP Woman
over a year ago

South Dublin

"Have you tried any of the adult colouring books?? Really relaxing and rewarding to do x"

Yes, I do colouring all the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the meds made me feel like a zombie, or I was living in a bubble. But yes, I think I have to consider them this time to get me over the hump."
iv been there many times it's not nice at all if you want to talk message me !

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By *oxymTV/TS
over a year ago

cramlington

If you don't want meds my best advice is to get counselling maybe ask for CBT it's a great help in changing mindset

You can also get this online free if you don't wanna talk to someone

Also I have this book called the secret it's quite good at opening your mind and helping it to change your perception of things

Big hugs xx

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Because the meds made me feel like a zombie, or I was living in a bubble. But yes, I think I have to consider them this time to get me over the hump."

Book a double appointment at your docs and explain that and ask to try different medication. I worked through 8 different ones before finding the ones that worked best for me.

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Because the meds made me feel like a zombie, or I was living in a bubble. But yes, I think I have to consider them this time to get me over the hump."

Sounds like it's the wrong meds for you. They can try other types x

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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Suffolk - East Anglia

"Struggling with the worst period of depression I have had in so long. Have totally isolated myself and withdrawn, sucked into the internet, no good feelings from exercise anymore though I am forcing myself to do it.

I am reluctant to go back on meds. I don't know what to do, I feel like I am outside real life looking in but not part of it.

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. "

Stay positive and remember - you can and will get through it.

Strongly recommend seeing the doctor who can really help, you're not alone, lots of peeps get help from the guys who know how. Good luck and STAY POSITIVE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am reluctant to go back on meds. I don't know what to do, I feel like I am outside real life looking in but not part of it.

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. "

Hi there, sorry to hear about you falling into this.

I'm currently going through my worst period of depression in a long while too and I complete empathise with you, this really is not pleasant.

First recommendation: get yourself booked in to see a trained mental health professional either through the NHS or if you can afford it privately.

Secondly: A quick Google of local towns and cities might help you find a good support group or charity. They might only have volunteers but it's nice to be able to sit with a group of people and talk openly about it over a cuppa.

I understand your concerns about medication - they impact people in different ways. I've got back onto mine as I'd rather feel exhausted physically than exhausted mentally.

Exercise is great. You might not feel the 'buzz' right now but keep up with it, even if it's just an hour walking each day. It will help you be a little more positive.

Once again I know it's hard not to isolate yourself but try not to. It does not make things easier.

I am here if you want to talk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have a look for support groups in your area. talking can help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having also suffered with anxiety and depression for many years I know what you're going through and sympathise.

I recommend a trip to the docs and try some other medication..I tried several before finding one that works...I'm. Still on it and feel like I probably always will be bit that's fine with me..anything that helps me cope!

CBT is also a great help..But it can take a while to be referred and usually by the time the appointment comes around you're feeling better anyway and are scared to go in case it brings back the feelings you try to avoid.

There are some online CBT sites you can join for free and I found them a big help. Mind Gym is a good one and No More Panic is the best imo..There are info pages on every kind of mental health issue as well as forums and chat rooms.

Hope you feel better soon

Please don't hesitate to send a message if you want to talk or ask any questing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am reluctant to go back on meds. I don't know what to do, I feel like I am outside real life looking in but not part of it.

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. "

You know if you had high blood pressure you'd take tablets incase of a stroke

If you had an ulcer you take mess to reduce the symptoms

See it this way

Don't hinder the chance of recovery by not taking tablets, the outcome or consequences could be worse than the symptoms

Isolation is sometimes what you need sometimes it's worse before it gets better

The best thing is that you have insight, you know already you need help.

That's the hardest part, asking for it.

I hope you do xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having also suffered with anxiety and depression for many years I know what you're going through and sympathise.

Hope you feel better soon

Please don't hesitate to send a message if you want to talk or ask any questing

Just curious when you said Mind Gym did you mean mind gym? Not trying to be an arse, just wondering as not much in relation to mental health came up when I looked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel many of us here have depression at some level, myself included. I have read my of the advice being given and it's worth listening too even if some of it you don't want to take or even hear. I've never gone on meds myself as I felt I needed to suffer for it to feel real, and that meds would be taking that away.

It all affects us differently, there is no one fix. But talking about it, keep communicating, exercise, will all help. Don't forget even when things are low, everyone you know here, no matter how faceless we are, care about you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having also suffered with anxiety and depression for many years I know what you're going through and sympathise.

Hope you feel better soon

Please don't hesitate to send a message if you want to talk or ask any questing

Just curious when you said Mind Gym did you mean mind gym? Not trying to be an arse, just wondering as not much in relation to mental health came up when I looked."

Yes I'm sure that's what it's called..I'll double check!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry it's called mood gym!

Mind gym was something we did at university! !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am reluctant to go back on meds. I don't know what to do, I feel like I am outside real life looking in but not part of it.

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. "

The best thing you can do is, hold your

Head high, except you need help, go to the doctors, if they prescribe you pills, take.

The first 6 weeks can get worse before they are better, but you will feel better!

I did! Best thing I ever did! I still have good and bad days, but I can cope and now I'm off this pills.....

Good luck xxx

If you wish to contact me privately your very welcome to x

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"make a GP appointment for tomorrow or if your feelings worsen, go see someone today

good luck

Simply this!

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Look for a group activity. Something sociable but not heavily so, something with a mix of ages and personalities.

Try a local walking/ramblers group (you can get exercise too which will help) or a choir or a crafting group like a knit and natter group.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the meds made me feel like a zombie, or I was living in a bubble. But yes, I think I have to consider them this time to get me over the hump."

Try different ones. They affect people in different ways. If you speak to your doctor s/he should be able to prescribe you a different type. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't want to hijack the thread from the OP, but just to say thank you to all who have suggestions.

I really suffer with this, and just knowing others have been there and felt the same despair, but have found ways to cope, really helps just in itself.

Thanks all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't want meds my best advice is to get counselling maybe ask for CBT it's a great help in changing mindset

You can also get this online free if you don't wanna talk to someone

Also I have this book called the secret it's quite good at opening your mind and helping it to change your perception of things

Big hugs xx"

My daughter swears by "The Secret" and yoga. Helped her out of the really bad way that she was in. Meds made her worse - coming off them was horrific

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By *SwitchMan
over a year ago

Derby

I have depression as well. It's so tough when you don't want to do anything and nothing seems to help. Please go and see your doctor as soon as possible. Take care x

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By *ormalguy71Man
over a year ago

Tunbridge Wells

Yes the adult colouring books are getting recommended my many in the medical profession.

The had been outselling cookery books at one point. Very relaxing to do.

The hardest part about depression is finding out what has caused it because once you do that you can take steps to prevent it from coming back.

But the problem with depression is usually it just hits you out of the blue.

Mind have a good website, they also have a forum on there where you can chat with other members in the same position as you. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the meds made me feel like a zombie, or I was living in a bubble. But yes, I think I have to consider them this time to get me over the hump."

I understand your reluctance to be on meds, especially if they make you feel like a zombie...but there lots and lots of different meds. If your doctor is any kind of doctor he/she will take your concerns into account and help you find the right treatment at the right dose to alleviate the depression symptoms without make g you feel like a zombie. Seek help and good luck.

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By *lectrumMan
over a year ago

south shields

Stunning body

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stunning body

Appropriate

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

No such thing as depression

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression"

Mmm

With respect you're either trolling or ignorant, as someone who's had it it's not much fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stunning body

Appropriate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression"

Such a helpful post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression"

Why would you choose to say that when someone is clearly suffering? How does it benefit anyone, including yourself?

It seems like pure arrogance and ignorance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression"

I think you'll find there is, what a ridiculous thing to say!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression"

There's a Donald Trump voter right there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/01/16 15:09:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you tried any of the adult colouring books?? Really relaxing and rewarding to do x"

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"No such thing as depression"

But at least delusion is alive and well!

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"No such thing as depression"

yes there is, and choosing to say what you did in this thread is both ignorant and says a lot about you..

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman
over a year ago

Hereabouts

I've not read all of the responses but if you're set on not taking medication, look up CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) online and have a flick through what's there.

And also Google mindfulness.. My GP gave me a piece of paper with loads of links on it, but I lost it. If I find it I'll message you with the links.

Pop in and see your GP and explain how you feel and if you don't want meds, tell him. My GP didn't even try to persuade me to take meds when I last went in, but our situations are probably a little different. Still, it's worth a chat and your GP can't force you to take anything so just ask him/her for reading material to help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression"

I'm depressed just looking at your profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression"
what a crass and unsympathetic person you are i hope one day you will discover what a horrid and debilitating illness depression can be enuf said

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Because the meds made me feel like a zombie, or I was living in a bubble. But yes, I think I have to consider them this time to get me over the hump."

Try St. John's Wort. The German NHS prescribe it first choice for mild to moderate depression, and whilst there is always the possibility of mild side effects even from a herb, it does not cause that zombie feeling or affect sexual function.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression"

I really want to answer this 'statement' but I feel it would be wholly inappropriate, and the things I wish for you will also go unsaid. Let's just say you have made me extremely angry. It's takes so much for someone with depression to actually admit it, that's comments like this make people go further in to their shell.

Take a long hard look at yourselves and what type of human beings you are.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression"

What a nasty thing to say. Hope you or yours never suffer. Actually - I do. Then you can take that back.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Because the meds made me feel like a zombie, or I was living in a bubble. But yes, I think I have to consider them this time to get me over the hump.

If you're taking any other medication have a chat with your pharmacist first as St John's Wort can interfere with the actions of other drugs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression"

Sorry that is utter shite. Anyone can be affected at any time.

It must be wonderful living in your utopian world away from the rest of the human race.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"No such thing as depression"

people are giving the stupid comment the reaction they seek

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By *itzWoman
over a year ago

south wales

"No such thing as depression"

I have met several people who have denied the existence of depression, some of which were/are clearly suffering from depression. Failure to recognise its existence and symptoms it is damaging to all involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression"

what a stupid thing for an adult to come out with, iv suffered with anxiety and stress and got tinnitus from it

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By *itzWoman
over a year ago

south wales

Because the meds made me feel like a zombie, or I was living in a bubble. But yes, I think I have to consider them this time to get me over the hump.

If you're taking any other medication have a chat with your pharmacist first as St John's Wort can interfere with the actions of other drugs."

Including hormonal contraception...........https://www.gov.uk/drug-safety-update/st-john-s-wort-interaction-with-hormonal-contraceptives-including-implants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's horrible and it can happen to anyone .It caught up on me after a close friend died .something triggers it and its how we deal with it .Everyone is different.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Try to take a walk in pleasant countryside ... If indoors put on every light you can ... Perhaps you are suffering from S A D .. Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression"

I thought the days of people denying mental illness were well and truly over after how much attention it has been given recently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression"

I find it difficult to understand why some of the replies to this have been removed and yet this obviously offensive, inflammatory and baiting post has been left.

I personally feel it shows a general lack of understanding and empathy on behalf of the site and its (over) moderators.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One can expect those who have never undergone a depressive episode to not understand how devastating an effect it can have but it is no excuse for the crass ignorance and lack of empathy towards someone with a genuine problem.

For the original poster can only sympathise as it there are no easy answers but take each day as it comes and you will gradually get through it - and I am sure the overwhelming majority of people on here wish you well and will support you however they can.

Hoping you get through your difficult time - Amanda x

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"No such thing as depression

I find it difficult to understand why some of the replies to this have been removed and yet this obviously offensive, inflammatory and baiting post has been left.

I personally feel it shows a general lack of understanding and empathy on behalf of the site and its (over) moderators."

this..

many things are rightly removed by the mods which go beyond the pale and rightly so, equally those things are someone's opinion as is the person above but its a stupid and vile thing to say and should be removed..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression"

Wow...firstly let me applaud the audacity of such a comment, i mean top marks for tearing in gob wide open...but let's question your dissmissive comment on a subject that has cut many, many good and and beautiful lives short.

Depression does not indeed exist in a tangable form like hairspray or low price underwear that you may value, but it does manifest itself at times into an unbearable mental and physical pain that can not be fixed with a rennie.

I have a gob om me at times and i have some favourable opinions, but please take minute before typing on more serious issues in future

..remember...

opinions are like arseholes, we've all got one and some them stink!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It might be an idea to stop quoting and requoting the offending post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as depression

I have a gob om me at times and i have some favourable opinions, but please take minute before typing on more serious issues in future

..remember...

opinions are like arseholes, we've all got one and some them stink!"

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

I am reluctant to go back on meds. I don't know what to do, I feel like I am outside real life looking in but not part of it.

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated.

You know if you had high blood pressure you'd take tablets incase of a stroke

If you had an ulcer you take mess to reduce the symptoms

See it this way

Don't hinder the chance of recovery by not taking tablets, the outcome or consequences could be worse than the symptoms

Isolation is sometimes what you need sometimes it's worse before it gets better

The best thing is that you have insight, you know already you need help.

That's the hardest part, asking for it.

I hope you do xx"

Exactly OP please phone up your GP first thing in the morn. I had really detrimental Post Natal Depression after my youngest was born. You've already done a really brave thing by putting how you're feeling on here! By the sounds of it the meds you had in the past weren't ideal. There's heaps of different types that your doc will help you with. If you need to talk please message me x love Red

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

[Removed by poster at 17/01/16 18:49:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been there myself...and recognise exactly what you say about how you feel...it can be a long way back...but it can be done.

I understand why you came off your mess too...Medication can't be a permanent solution...but it is something to make enough difference to get you back on the path to self awareness and an ultimate reconciliation...if not a total cure.

I would start by looking at your own profile...not to see yourself, but to see a stunningly beautiful woman...with so much to offer. Ask yourself, "would you like to be this gorgeous woman?". Remember what you have....but do go and seek the help you need.

xx. Hang in there!

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Write down a list of words

Bullet point how u feel

Make a double appointment with your gp..

You may need short term.medication just to get yourself back on a level where you feel a little more relaxed ... then take it from there ....your mental health team linked to your GP surgery will have lots of ways to help you through your darkest times .....good luck OP

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

[Removed by poster at 17/01/16 19:03:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the meds made me feel like a zombie, or I was living in a bubble. But yes, I think I have to consider them this time to get me over the hump."

There are different types of antidepressants. There are different meds in each group. You need to discuss this with a GP.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Go easy on yourself, you need gentle care and handling. No forcing of anything.

I think that includes taking probably several smaller steps, towards leading you away from this dark time. And preferably for you to have a sustained recovery.

Evidence reveals that a combination of medication and therapy provides higher success at longer term recovery, without relapses, than just one of these alone. So whilst you appear reluctant to consider meds, there could be every reason to, so that you don't again get depression returning. There are many different SSRI meds now, that essentially work by the same mechanism. You may want to try a different one, to that used before. And its worth experimenting to find one that has the best results, with the lowest level of side effects for you. They can take 2 to 4 weeks before you gain benefit from them, for some reason that's not fully understood.

There are many different types of psychotherapy. Like the meds, it's ideal to find one that appeals, with a therapist that you feel right with. Your GP may have access to a free NHS service for you.

Whilst being alone can be attractive when we're unwell, for many reasons - such as calm, more restful and probably less taxing - it's not especially nourishing for us. This could be an area that you could make some small steps with, so that you become less isolated. Contact with others doesn't just mean opening our hearts,during times like this when you have a darker crisis. Human contact is also healing and essential for wellbeing.

Seek out people you know who are positive for you and spend time with them and talking frequently. Also think of some potential new options for being with others, whether sharing pstimes and interests or just because you can.

Are you receiving love from others? If there are people who'd appreciate giving you their compassion or love, allow them a chance. Some people naturally do stuff like practical help as a way of demonstrating their care - be open to letting them.

Call or visit Samaritans if you get very despairing and commit to someone that you will seek them out of you really need some support.

I'd recommend visiting your GP every month to let them handle a duty of care for you or just someone who can check in with you, finding out and sharing how you are.

Be your best friend now. Treat yourself regularly, whether massages or things that will caress and care differently for you.

Tread gently, aim not to force too much onto yourself. Exercise has some benefits for wellbeing, as does spending time around the natural world. Plan a little into your day.

Hope this your mood and life transition well for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if it's the weather/dark days, my anxiety has become bad and I feel constantly tired. I find this time of year the hardest so I'm concentrating on doing things I enjoy x

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

As this is a swingers site......I was trying to lighten things a little but obviously my statement made for good banter and if wasn't meant to,offend

Cheer up

Xxxxx

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Depression is an illness, NOT a state of mind.

Never ceases to amaze me how many people say no to medication for it.

Would they refuse chemo or radiotherapy for cancer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My life was/ is turning into a car crash because of constant low level depression. That's why people struggle to joke about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depression is an illness, NOT a state of mind.

Never ceases to amaze me how many people say no to medication for it.

Would they refuse chemo or radiotherapy for cancer?

I don't want to move away from the original subject, but personally I believe that the body can heal itself given the right circumstances and time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depression is an illness, NOT a state of mind.

Never ceases to amaze me how many people say no to medication for it.

Would they refuse chemo or radiotherapy for cancer?

I'd argue it can be both

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Depression is an illness, NOT a state of mind.

Never ceases to amaze me how many people say no to medication for it.

Would they refuse chemo or radiotherapy for cancer?

I don't want to move away from the original subject, but personally I believe that the body can heal itself given the right circumstances and time "

I agree too, but sometimes people are beyond that and need a 'leg up' to feel able to start healing themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As this is a swingers site......I was trying to lighten things a little but obviously my statement made for good banter and if wasn't meant to,offend

Cheer up

Xxxxx"

Really?

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Nobody chooses to be depressed, and it is a cruel illness.

I would echo the advice of those who suggest you get a GP appointment. You can explain your reluctance to go on meds but in the end hopefully you have a good GP who will know the best way forward.

There *is* a way forward, even if you cannot see it now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going back to the GP and asking for meds isn't necessarily the answer. They should be refering you to your local memtal health team, or you can self refer if the GP won't do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going through a bit of a dark patch myself at the moment.

Sorry op can't offer any word's of wisdom other than just keep plugging away with the stuff that get's you thru it normally get some help and hopefully things will improve.

When my darkness visits and won't leave I usually have a good long talk with it and tell it to fuck off.

But as I said struggling myself at the moment.

Have had a word but as yet he is taking his time.

Post Christmas, dark mornings and evenings, cold miserable weather all adds to the issue.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Going through a bit of a dark patch myself at the moment.

Sorry op can't offer any word's of wisdom other than just keep plugging away with the stuff that get's you thru it normally get some help and hopefully things will improve.

When my darkness visits and won't leave I usually have a good long talk with it and tell it to fuck off.

But as I said struggling myself at the moment.

Have had a word but as yet he is taking his time.

Post Christmas, dark mornings and evenings, cold miserable weather all adds to the issue.

Good luck

Have you considered those SAD lamps?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Going through a bit of a dark patch myself at the moment.

Sorry op can't offer any word's of wisdom other than just keep plugging away with the stuff that get's you thru it normally get some help and hopefully things will improve.

When my darkness visits and won't leave I usually have a good long talk with it and tell it to fuck off.

But as I said struggling myself at the moment.

Have had a word but as yet he is taking his time.

Post Christmas, dark mornings and evenings, cold miserable weather all adds to the issue.

Good luck

Have you considered those SAD lamps?"

Definitely yes.

Gonna look into it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Going through a bit of a dark patch myself at the moment.

Sorry op can't offer any word's of wisdom other than just keep plugging away with the stuff that get's you thru it normally get some help and hopefully things will improve.

When my darkness visits and won't leave I usually have a good long talk with it and tell it to fuck off.

But as I said struggling myself at the moment.

Have had a word but as yet he is taking his time.

Post Christmas, dark mornings and evenings, cold miserable weather all adds to the issue.

Good luck

Have you considered those SAD lamps?

Definitely yes.

Gonna look into it. "

I hope it provides some relief

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks.

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

"As this is a swingers site......I was trying to lighten things a little but obviously my statement made for good banter and if wasn't meant to,offend

Cheer up

Xxxxx"

So for example if someone made a cutting remark about your pics you would consider it "banter" ?

Not that I would because I'm not an insensitive, crass, obnoxious person - unlike yourself.

"Banter"? You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't really add much to the great advice contained in the many messages above, other than to add been there and know your pain. Stay positive, see your GP and get out in the fresh air - the isolation of retreating to the internet and not going over the door can compound your feelings of isolation. Exercise and fresh air is never a bad thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As this is a swingers site......I was trying to lighten things a little but obviously my statement made for good banter and if wasn't meant to,offend

Cheer up

Xxxxx

So for example if someone made a cutting remark about your pics you would consider it "banter" ?

Not that I would because I'm not an insensitive, crass, obnoxious person - unlike yourself.

"Banter"? You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself. "

I agree, I work with undergrads and secondary school students who are more socially respectable than this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am bipolar and suffered with depression from an early age from the loss of family members throughout my life (talked about in previous threads)

OP I completely agree with you about not wanting to take meds. I don't. But I do see a life coach who is on the other end of the phone to chat to or txt and see a psychotherapist who talks about my issues with me. This has helped me more than tablets ever will and with help I've learnt to identify when a problem with my mental health is about to develop.

I look after my grandmother as her carer and also a single mother with a job.

Go to the gp and see if some form of counselling may help or even myself. Hope you find the best way to help you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depression is an illness, NOT a state of mind.

Never ceases to amaze me how many people say no to medication for it.

Would they refuse chemo or radiotherapy for cancer?

I don't want to move away from the original subject, but personally I believe that the body can heal itself given the right circumstances and time "

It certainly can but moderate to severe depression needs medical treatment, like has been said - meds and talking therapies.

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Calm down calm down

Bloody hell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Calm down calm down

Bloody hell

If you want to banter I suggest that you use an emoticon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As this is a swingers site......I was trying to lighten things a little but obviously my statement made for good banter and if wasn't meant to,offend

Cheer up

Xxxxx"

Banter?!

It was thoroughly mean and callous. There are people who suffer with anxiety and depression on this site and ask for help and you come out with that shit and claim it was banter!

What it was was I'll informed, ignorant, offensive and cruel. You should be ashamed of yourself and openly apologise without hiding behind 'banter'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hun go to your GP tomorrow, they have your safety and best interest at heart.

I was like this 12 weeks ago! Didn't see the point to living, huge confidence issues, even bigger eating issues so what was the point.

My breaking point was being caught making myself purge at work then it all came out.

I was told if I didn't see my gp I would be dragged there!. I have a really good support network around me and didn't realise it until recently.

I chose to have meds and also had CBT, it was a 8 week course which finished last week

It was hard not going to lie as it made me focus on my bottom line triggers but now I have learnt how to control them.

Look at it this way, if you were reading this post and someone else had written it you would be as everyone else is compassionate towards them, but you need to show yourself the same compassion!.

I can't rate CBT highly enough, I've gone from knowing the exact point and speed to hit a tree to harm myself, purging dozens of times a day. To think omg why would I look what I've got, and I haven't purged for about a month now.

I'm really proud of myself I've got a happy jar too! One of the girls on CBT suggested it every time something nice happens even the slightest thing write it down and put in the jar then on a bad day open it up and read them.

My jar is half full and it's only been going 2 weeks.

The first step is the hardest and also the biggest to feeling better. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Calm down calm down

Bloody hell

I am calm, the depression that I suffer means that I emotionally detach from life in order to cope. So I have no highs or lows in essence. But then you don't believe me anyway.

I was just going to suggest that unless you have anything positive to say then say nothing at all on this subject as your comments are just building a picture of your personality that so far doesn't seem very nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As this is a swingers site......I was trying to lighten things a little but obviously my statement made for good banter and if wasn't meant to,offend

Cheer up

Xxxxx

So for example if someone made a cutting remark about your pics you would consider it "banter" ?

Not that I would because I'm not an insensitive, crass, obnoxious person - unlike yourself.

"Banter"? You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am reluctant to go back on meds. I don't know what to do, I feel like I am outside real life looking in but not part of it.

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. "

Go see your gp lovely .If you're not happy with your meds maybe CBT.

Whatever route you take I wish you well xx

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

"As this is a swingers site......I was trying to lighten things a little but obviously my statement made for good banter and if wasn't meant to,offend

Cheer up

Xxxxx

So for example if someone made a cutting remark about your pics you would consider it "banter" ?

Not that I would because I'm not an insensitive, crass, obnoxious person - unlike yourself.

"Banter"? You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself.

In agreeance wholeheartedly x just think that you have totally made a show of yourself and your narrow mindedness x hoping that you sometime in the future feel depressed x hateful people

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Quick summary of what research says -

Therapy AND medication together are the most successful at clearing depression. And when it's gone it stays gone.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Please be thoughtful about what you're writing here guys. It's unpleasant to distract away from the op's plight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quick summary of what research says -

Therapy AND medication together are the most successful at clearing depression. And when it's gone it stays gone.

Coming from someone who has first hand experience - if using CBT then any methods you are taught should be practised regularly. As I found, if you stop for a period of time then get hit by depressive triggers, it becomes very hard to regain the ability to control yourself.

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

I am reluctant to go back on meds. I don't know what to do, I feel like I am outside real life looking in but not part of it.

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. "

Do see your GP. Meds to get you over the hump are a very good idea especially to tide you over until your GP can arrange other tratments. I have not taken meds for 5 years but too feel detached as though I am on the outside watching myself. Sometimes i wonder if i am in bed imagining i am walking along the street and have to pause to convince myself i really am out and about. But it is much better than the dark Times and I now know the dark Times will pass. Like many other fabbers I send you a burst of love and wish you the best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being bipolar myself I can guess at least 4 people in this thread are the same as me, problem is getting diagnosed from a health professional (who by in large seem to be useless) your doctor can give you meds, but not a proper diagnosis, syomtons of bipolar below (plus why we love sex)

You can only be diagnosed by a psychiatrist who will do a full psychiatric assessment. A doctor will assess if you have symptoms of bipolar, which are described below. You would need to have two or more times when you experience these symptoms.

Symptoms of mania can include:

feeling happy or positive even if things are not going well for you.

feeling more active, energetic or restless

being more irritable than normal

feeling much better about yourself than usual

talking very quickly, jumping from one idea to another, racing thoughts

being easily distracted and struggling to focus on one topic

not needing much sleep

thinking you can do much more than you actually can

making bad decisions

doing things you normally wouldn’t which can cause problems, such as going on spending sprees, being sexually promiscuous, using drugs or alcohol, gambling or making unwise business decisions

being much more social than usual

being argumentative, pushy or aggressive

Top

The symptoms of depression can include:

low mood

having less energy, feeling tired or "slowed down"

feeling hopeless or negative

feeling guilty, worthless or helpless

being less interested in things you normally like doing or enjoying them less

difficulty concentrating, remembering or making decisions

feeling restless or irritable

sleeping too much or not being able to sleep

feeling more or less hungry than usual and/or losing or gaining weight when you do not mean to

thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts

Try to get a referral for a professional

Much love x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am reluctant to go back on meds. I don't know what to do, I feel like I am outside real life looking in but not part of it.

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. "

Hiya Emma here, if you ever want to talk about anything or just need someone to get to know abd just chat, just message me

Take care

Emma xXx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have known people who go through it, heart really does go out to anyone suffering mental health.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quick summary of what research says -

Therapy AND medication together are the most successful at clearing depression. And when it's gone it stays gone.

That's incorrect (re staying gone). You may learn your triggers to self treat for future bouts though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never heard of the adult colouring books. Is it something that get recommended to help with depression? I've suffered for years, so know about my depression just trying to find new ways to help me cope. "
re: Colouring books Sainsbury's do a couple of good ones and get some quality pens the books take your mind away from every day life and help u to concentrate more.

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

I am reluctant to go back on meds. I don't know what to do, I feel like I am outside real life looking in but not part of it.

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. "

if you can put it out in a public forum am sure you could speak to a professional

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am reluctant to go back on meds. I don't know what to do, I feel like I am outside real life looking in but not part of it.

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated.

if you can put it out in a public forum am sure you could speak to a professional "

That's not entirely true, typing words on a screen when you're feeling isolated and introverted is much easier than having the energy and willpower needed to even make an appointment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try

Bipolar disorder connect

App, I use it for better advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op, I can sympathise. As I been through this, this past week.

It helps if you got a friend you can trust and close to to let off steam to. Also go and see your GP they're there to help.

I wish you all the best.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Quick summary of what research says -

Therapy AND medication together are the most successful at clearing depression. And when it's gone it stays gone.

That's incorrect (re staying gone). You may learn your triggers to self treat for future bouts though."

I'll re_iew the available evidence again but individual research trials and meta analyses have consistently indicated that where people have combined therapy as well as medication the success rate has been higher than either of them without the other.

If you find more comprehensive research I'd like to know it please.

Everyone individually responds differently to any treatment and a personalized plan imo is preferable. Though we may as well be influenced by research evidence in what we do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried writing a list of all the good, positive things in your life? Even little things that make you smile or enhance your life. I read mine often, it has the big things like the love of my family and my beautiful dog, down to smaller things like the taste of chocolate or a nice red wine, a sunset or a frosty morning,lie ins with a cup of tea when you don't have to get up for work etc. I keep adding to it. It really helps me. Also a book called the secret by rhonda byrne changed my life forever, i would recommend it to anyone. Good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quick summary of what research says -

Therapy AND medication together are the most successful at clearing depression. And when it's gone it stays gone.

That's incorrect (re staying gone). You may learn your triggers to self treat for future bouts though.

If you find more comprehensive research I'd like to know it please.

Everyone individually responds differently to any treatment and a personalized plan imo is preferable. Though we may as well be influenced by research evidence in what we do."

For any research to be valid regarding the staying gone, they will have to have a research sample of people who would be considered near the end of their lives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was reading about this and its a free APP called MindPilot.

Learning to harness the powerful skill of Mindfulness it gives you the tools for a calmer mind and healthier body. I all so think getting out in the real world and off the net helps and getting sun light maybe one of them light boxes the lack of sun this time of the year can really get you down. . But go see doc and chat see whats going on . x

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By *ingersoloWoman
over a year ago

Oldham

Depression is the worst feeling in the world and affects everybody differently. The most important thing is not to isolate yourself, talk to someone, whether it's friends, a doctor, a counseller, help group etc.

Try to get exercise into your day, I found swimming worked best for me but experiment to keep it interesting and find out what works best for yourself. Even if you can't get to the gym, a short walk, especially with a friend can help massively.

Take care of yourself, eat well and pamper yourself sometimes (a bubble bath, a haircut, or anything else that could lift your spirits).

Things can get overwhelming so make a list of things you need to do, then prioritize them so the most important get done, reducing the stress, and if you tick things off it can show your progress.

And don't rule out medication altogether. There are many different ones available so if you talk to your doctor about your concerns they may find one your happy with.

Good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a bit fed up too. No one I can really turn too because Mrs N is always so wrapped up in her troubles. Newspaper headlines very depressing too. Life is very hard nowadays isn't it ?

Trying to cheer us up with a skiing trip in 7 weeks time but it's just a sticking plaster on things. Ah I know what it is, it's january feeling.

Think I might go and listen to that Pilot song. Might cheer me up LOL.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

I've been struggling for a while following the loss of both my parents.

The only thing that really works for me is exercise - sorry to hear that's not working for you, OP. Hope some of those positive endoporphins come back soon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was reading about this and its a free APP called MindPilot.

Is the app purely an app or do you know if there is a website too?

Just curious as I have a naff phone atm but I am always looking to try new things for mindfulness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quick summary of what research says -

Therapy AND medication together are the most successful at clearing depression. And when it's gone it stays gone.

That's incorrect (re staying gone). You may learn your triggers to self treat for future bouts though.

If you find more comprehensive research I'd like to know it please.

Everyone individually responds differently to any treatment and a personalized plan imo is preferable. Though we may as well be influenced by research evidence in what we do.

For any research to be valid regarding the staying gone, they will have to have a research sample of people who would be considered near the end of their lives.

Although this is true, the research would be be most likely impossible - from a funding perspective and practicality perspective.

Depression is horrible and your average person is likely to become depressed several times in one life. It is normal to become depressed after loosing a close friend or family member. But other forms of depression can be linked to genetics and biochemical and hormonal imbalances.

Simply put if a combination treatment of therapy and medication helps a large sample of people who are suffering from long - and another sample from short term depression, quickly, and the therapy helps people combat and manage their "triggers" in the long term, then the treatment is most likely the best option. Until lets say a more effective drug or therapy technique is developed an tested.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Ref. the research - most of the published research is pretty good and follows standard ethical protocols. The meta-analyses may re_iew and summarize hundreds or thousands of studies.

Whilst potentially anything that helps us overcome depression may be good, imo it's ideal if the clearance of depression is most likely to be lasting, rather than potentially recurring. (it's accepted that many of us may get depression more than one in our lives, but my point about sustained remission from it relates to when you've had it and then you remain clear of it for a substantial period of time).

We don't measure neurochemistry, in people's brains, to see if they're at the right level, like we might do with antifreeze in a car. The neurotransmitter basis for depression is still subject to debate.

As far as I can tell, where someone experiences significantly deep levels of depression - and where there has been prior occurrence of it - a significantly large proportion of us will be ideally helped by therapy at the same time as medication. That does not mean that every one of us would gain that result but that the probability levels are stacked in our favor with that option.

Treatment should still be very personal. Finding the right drug and type, frequency and duration of therapy etc. Or not, if it seems like alternative approaches are better for a particular individual.

If I was the op I would visit my GP every month, like clockwork, to take some burden off my own shoulders - even if I didn't want or get antidepressant medication. some practices won't do repeat prescriptions for this, without seeing their patient each month. This is a good approach and leaves the person less isolated.

Obviously newer research results will be published all the time and it's unlikely that a. One size fits all approach will be found, as there are different forms and reasons for depression. Like others posting here I also suffered parental loss and grief, which resulted in my recent depression.

Whatever may have happened to any of you, and to the op, I hope that brighter times will come soon enough for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have something to look forward to. Doesn't have to be anything big or expensive, just something for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am reluctant to go back on meds. I don't know what to do, I feel like I am outside real life looking in but not part of it.

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. "

Good to the doctors and get real help - this isn't the place - this is serious

Hope you get better soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quick summary of what research says -

Therapy AND medication together are the most successful at clearing depression. And when it's gone it stays gone.

That's incorrect (re staying gone). You may learn your triggers to self treat for future bouts though.

If you find more comprehensive research I'd like to know it please.

Everyone individually responds differently to any treatment and a personalized plan imo is preferable. Though we may as well be influenced by research evidence in what we do.

For any research to be valid regarding the staying gone, they will have to have a research sample of people who would be considered near the end of their lives.

Although this is true, the research would be be most likely impossible - from a funding perspective and practicality perspective.

I will not argue any of your points but reiterate my only point that research cannot prove at present that depression stays gone.

I'm an advocate of combined therapies but will not have patients deluded that depression will never again occur.

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By *b586Couple
over a year ago

pemberton twp

When depression hits it's horrible. I just went thru 2 months. Finally feeling better. As many have said, seek help from dr & therapist. Surround yourself with friends who can support you they this time and do your best to stay on schedule. I always feel better as I complete my daily tasks even if in the moment I feel terrible.

Hugs xo Kim

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd probably echo what a lot of the other members have posted

As your probably already aware there's support via your GP , via local mental health teams and also with local organisations in your area as quite often there's schemes or events locally that are run for people who are in a similar position to yourself now

My only advice would be to make an appointment and speak to someone and don't deal with it alone

Big hugs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going to give St John's wort as whirl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fancy buying one of those lamps but they seem a bit gimmicky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I fancy buying one of those lamps but they seem a bit gimmicky.

Sound reasons behind them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont be ashamed of going back on meds - ive had them twice longterm - and now i recognise signs and can mostly deal with stuff with help off friends - who really just give me the kick up the arse i need as im over what used to get me down - but i would take them again as i know they do help - go and chat to the doc xxx

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"I fancy buying one of those lamps but they seem a bit gimmicky.

I'm with you on this Lib. The evidence for their effectiveness is patchy though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I fancy buying one of those lamps but they seem a bit gimmicky.

I'm with you on this Lib. The evidence for their effectiveness is patchy though."

I thought the lamps were more aimed towards individuals with seasonal affective disorder? I know it has depressive symptoms but I wouldn't say the lamps are for 'regularly' depressed individuals?

But then again I haven't looked at research beyond how they seem to help people who have S.A.D.

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