FabSwingers.com forum: Poems

By *abphil OP Man
over a year ago

sheffield

Whats the best sex related poem, lymeric or rhyme you have ever heard? Can't think of one help.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r H and Good PetCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

may i feel said he

by e e cummings

may i feel said he

(i'll squeal said she

just once said he)

it's fun said she

(may i touch said he

how much said she

a lot said he)

why not said she

(let's go said he

not too far said she

what's too far said he

where you are said she)

may i stay said he

(which way said she

like this said he

if you kiss said she

may i move said he

is it love said she)

if you're willing said he

(but you're killing said she

but it's life said he

but your wife said she

now said he)

ow said she

(tiptop said he

don't stop said she

oh no said he)

go slow said she

(cccome?said he

ummm said she)

you're divine!said he

(you are Mine said she)

Tom Hiddleston reads it in his sexvoice: https://m.soundcloud.com/hiddlestonersargentina/may-i-feel-said-he-de-e-e

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r H and Good PetCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

OK, fab fucks up the spacing, but just listen to Hiddleston. Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r H and Good PetCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Also:

What Humans Do

The candlelit

after-dinner

careful screw,

the under-the-moon

shooby doo

be doo groove,

the from behind,

the sixty-nine,

the is there time,

the I need wine,

the twisted talking

dirty grind,

the Erica Jong

zipless screw,

the I-got-somethin’-

to-prove ruse,

the primal bang,

the power game,

the long play,

the itchy-ish, sudden-ish

roll in the hay,

the take me away,

the once a month

married way,

the hail mary,

the holy-joe-

I-can’t-believe-

my-luck hump,

the side to side

slow pump,

the grudge fuck,

the quick poke,

the hard core,

the tenderest lap

of waves on the shore,

and the gushing rushing

endless coming

of I’ve never felt

this way before.

– Wendy Videlock

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abphil OP Man
over a year ago

sheffield

"Also:

What Humans Do

The candlelit

after-dinner

careful screw,

the under-the-moon

shooby doo

be doo groove,

the from behind,

the sixty-nine,

the is there time,

the I need wine,

the twisted talking

dirty grind,

the Erica Jong

zipless screw,

the I-got-somethin’-

to-prove ruse,

the primal bang,

the power game,

the long play,

the itchy-ish, sudden-ish

roll in the hay,

the take me away,

the once a month

married way,

the hail mary,

the holy-joe-

I-can’t-believe-

my-luck hump,

the side to side

slow pump,

the grudge fuck,

the quick poke,

the hard core,

the tenderest lap

of waves on the shore,

and the gushing rushing

endless coming

of I’ve never felt

this way before.

– Wendy Videlock"

Excellent A - - lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a boy called Billy with a 6ft willy,and he showed it to the girl next door.....

She thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake,n now it's only 4ft4.....

Wow I'm so highbrow

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lovesong by Ted Hughes"

He loved her and she loved him

His kisses sucked out her whole past and future or tried to

He had no other appetite

She bit him she gnawed him she sucked

She wanted him complete inside her

Safe and sure forever and ever

Their little cries fluttered into the curtains

Her eyes wanted nothing to get away

Her looks nailed down his hands his wrists his elbows

He gripped her hard so that life

Should not drag her from that moment

He wanted all future to cease

He wanted to topple with his arms round her

Off that moment’s brink and into nothing

Or everlasting or whatever there was

Her embrace was an immense press

To print him into her bones

His smiles were the garrets of a fairy palace

Where the real world would never come

Her smiles were spider bites

So he would lie still till she felt hungry

His words were occupying armies

Her laughs were an assassin’s attempts

His looks were bullets daggers of revenge

Her glances were ghosts in the corner with horrible secrets

His whispers were whips and jackboots

Her kisses were lawyers steadily writing

His caresses were the last hooks of a castaway

Her love-trick were the grinding of locks

And their deep cries crawled over the floors

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

......like an animal dragging a great trap.

(Oops, missed the last line

)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Hey there girl, yes you over there

Don’t ignore me don’t you dare

You know I’m the best thing on this site

All the other blokes here are just shite

Saw your profile and fabbed your pic

So in return here’s a photo of my dick

With a Sky remote as a guide

To fit it all in you’d better open wide

And see that I’m all trimmed beneath

Now you won’t get pubes stuck in your teeth

Just shows that I’m a considerate lover

So why would you bother with any other?

So come round and see me quick

In no time you’ll be sitting on my prick

Hurry up now you had better run

So that I can stick it up your bum

Sexy words in my ear you may gently whisper

Whilst I lay back and fantasise about your sister

Just keep the noise down when you cum

We really don’t want to wake my Mum!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

She being brand

~ e.e.cummins

she being Brand

-new;and you

know consequently a

little stiff i was

careful of her and(having

thoroughly oiled the universal

joint tested my gas felt of

her radiator made sure her springs were O.

K.)i went right to it flooded-the-carburetor cranked her

up,slipped the

clutch(and then somehow got into reverse she

kicked what

the hell)next

minute i was back in neutral tried and

again slo-wly;bare,ly nudg. ing(my

lev-er Right-

oh and her gears being in

A 1 shape passed

from low through

second-in-to-high like

greasedlightning)just as we turned the corner of Divinity

avenue i touched the accelerator and give

her the juice,good

(it

was the first ride and believe i we was

happy to see how nice she acted right up to

the last minute coming back down by the Public

Gardens i slammed on

internalexpanding

externalcontracting

brakes Bothatonce and

brought allofher tremB

-ling

to a:dead.

stand-

;Still)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*Sung to the tune of-only you by the flying pickets*

I was looking from a window above,

some bastard gave me a shove,

I was faaaaaaalling.

Fell about 53ft,

with a splat on the street!

all I needed was a hospital bed,

shagged the nurse untill her fanny was red!

N all I ever knew....my balls turned blue!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Frank Zappa = musical genius and also one funny fucker!

"Dinah-Moe Humm"

[backing vocals Tina Turner & The Ikettes]

I couldn't say where she's coming' from,

But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum,

I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum

(Y'jes can't do it)

She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb

She could prove it any time all men was scum

I don't mind that she called me a bum,

But I knew right away she was really gonna cum

(So I got down to it)

I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb

An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb

But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm,

Dinah-Moe Humm

Where's this Dinah-Moe

Comin' from

I done spent three hours

An' I ain't got a crumb

From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe

From the Dinah-Moe Humm

Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!

An' you ain't been to it

(No no no no!)

Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!

An' you ain't been to it

(No no no!)

Got a spot that gets me hot

But you ain't been to it

(No no no no no!)

Got a spot that gets me hot

But you ain't been to it

'Cause I can't get into it

Unless I get out of it

An' I gotta get out of it

Before I get into it

'Cause I never get into it

Unless I get out of it

An' I gotta be out of it

To get myself into it

(She looked over at me with a glazed eye

And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area

And she said . . . )

Just get me wasted

An' you're half-way there

'Cause if my mind's tore up,

Then my body don't care

I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin

An' said my-my-my

What sort of thing

Might this lady get high upon?

I checked out her sister

Who was holdin' the bet

An' wondered what kind of trip

The young lady was on

The forty dollar bill didn't matter no more

When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor

She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet

But she could use a little loving if I wasn't done yet

I told her . . .

Just because the sun

Want a place in the sky

No reason to assume

I wouldn't give her a try

So I pulled on her hair

Got her legs in the air

An' asked if she had any cooties on there

(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)

She was buns-up kneelin'

BUNS UP!

I was wheelin' an dealin'

WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN' OOOOH!

She surrender to the feelin'

SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED

An' she started in to squealin'

Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed

With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red

Some drool rollin' down

From the edge of her chin

While she spied the condition

Her sister was in

She quivered 'n quaked

An' clutched at herself

While her sister made a joke

About her mental health

'Till Dinah-Moe finally

Did give in

But I told her

All she really needed

Was some discipline . . .

Kiss my aura . . . Dora . . .

M-M-M . . . it's real angora

Would y'all like some more-a?

Right here on the flora?

An' how 'bout you, Fauna?

Y'wanna?

MMM . . . sound like you're chokin' on somethin'

Did you say you want some more?

Well, here's some more . . .

(Oh, baby . . . )

Oh, sure . . . look,

D'you think I could interest you

In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?

MMM . . . tweezers!

Wait a minute, lemme sterilize 'em . . .

Gimme your lighter . . .

I couldn't say where she's coming' from

But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum,

I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum

(Y'jes can't do it)

I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb

An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb

An' you know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm

Some Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe

Some Dinah-Moe

An' a little Dinah-Moe

An' some Dinah-Moe

An' a little Dinah-Moe

An' some Dinah-Moe

An' a Dinah-Moe again

An' Dinah-Moe

An' Dora too, lil' Dinah 'n Dora

An' Dinah-Moe

Kiss my aura, Dorah.

Aye Frank has a few funny sex related tunes!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abphil OP Man
over a year ago

sheffield

"*Sung to the tune of-only you by the flying pickets*

I was looking from a window above,

some bastard gave me a shove,

I was faaaaaaalling.

Fell about 53ft,

with a splat on the street!

all I needed was a hospital bed,

shagged the nurse untill her fanny was red!

N all I ever knew....my balls turned blue!

Now is that true ( same tune) lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a sex poem but written for me by a fellow fabber

Because you're beautiful.

Purple like orchids in bloom

Smile like the light in a room

Where the moths gather near the flame

They think it's the moon but then again

what do the crowds know when they chatter

Grasping calling and demanding her on a platter

And not a single word from dearest Hera yet

She stays silent and smiles moonbeams

Moonbeams for dreams of her voice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*Sung to the tune of-only you by the flying pickets*

I was looking from a window above,

some bastard gave me a shove,

I was faaaaaaalling.

Fell about 53ft,

with a splat on the street!

all I needed was a hospital bed,

shagged the nurse untill her fanny was red!

N all I ever knew....my balls turned blue!

Now is that true ( same tune) lol"

All true except the last bit....my balls are more purple/black now.....but that doesn't rhyme!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try the Prologue to the canterbury Tales- Chaucer was pretty crude!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/01/16 21:07:09]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

A little Latin for yas, from Catullus...

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,

Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi,

qui me ex versiculis meis putastis,

quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum.

Nam castum esse decet pium poetam

ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest;

qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem,

si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici

et quod pruriat incitare possunt,

non dico pueris, sed his pilosis

qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos.

Vos, quod milia multa basiorum

legistis, male me marem putatis?

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"A little Latin for yas, from Catullus...

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,

Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi,

qui me ex versiculis meis putastis,

quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum.

Nam castum esse decet pium poetam

ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest;

qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem,

si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici

et quod pruriat incitare possunt,

non dico pueris, sed his pilosis

qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos.

Vos, quod milia multa basiorum

legistis, male me marem putatis?

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo."

Translated...

I will sodomize you and face-fuck you,

Cocksucking Aurelius and bottom-man Furius,

You who think, from my verses

Because they are delicate, that I have no shame.

For it is right for the devoted poet

To be chaste himself, but it's not

Necessary for his verses to be so.

[Verses] which then indeed have taste and charm,

If they are delicate and a little shameless,

And because they can incite an itch,

And I don't mean in boys, but in

Those hairy old men who can't get it up.

You, because you have collected many thousands of my kisses,

You think me less of a man?

I will sodomize you and face-fuck you.

Charming!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Olly Olly Olly

Tits In A Trolley

Balls In A Biscuit Tin

Sitting On The Grass With A Finger Up Your Arse

Playing With Your Ding A Ling Ling

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

De cathedra quotiens surgis—jam saepe notavi—pedicant miserae, Lesbia, te tunicae….

Sic constringuntur gemina Symplegade culi et nimias intrant Cyaneasque natis.

Trans:

I’ve noticed when you get up from the couch

You’re buttfucked, Lesbia, by your wretched skirts.

Your skirts are caught between those massive buns

As big as two Gibraltars — a tight fit.”

~ Martial, Epigrams XI.99

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

In fact one of my favourite lines in the world comes from Martial:

"I fell in to love like a cockroach in to a basin."

Perfect, after almost 2000 years.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Olly Olly Olly

Tits In A Trolley

Balls In A Biscuit Tin

Sitting On The Grass With A Finger Up Your Arse

Playing With Your Ding A Ling Ling"

Very purile n immature.....love it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want a little Roman fifth, it's hard to look past Juvenal's Satires, and the activities of Messalina:

Are you worried by Eppia’s tricks, of a non-Imperial kind?

Take a look at the rivals of the gods; hear how Claudius

Suffered. When his wife, Messalina, knew he was asleep,

She would go about with no more than a maid for escort.

The Empress dared, at night, to wear the hood of a whore,

And she preferred a mat to her bed in the Palatine Palace.

Dressed in that way, with a blonde wig hiding her natural

Hair, she’d enter a brothel that stank of old soiled sheets,

And make an empty cubicle, her own; then sell herself,

Her nipples gilded, naked, taking She-Wolf for a name,

Displaying the belly you came from, noble Britannicus,

She’d flatter her clients on entry, and take their money.

Then lie there obligingly, delighting in every stroke.

Later on, when the pimp dismissed his girls, she’d leave

Reluctantly, waiting to quit her cubicle there, till the last

Possible time, her taut sex still burning, inflamed with lust,

Then she’d leave, exhausted by man, but not yet sated,

A disgusting creature with filthy face, soiled by the lamp’s

Black, taking her brothel-stench back to the Emperor’s bed.

Shall I speak of spells and love-potions too, poisons brewed,

And stepsons murdered? The sex do worse things, driven on

By the urgings of power: their crimes of lust are the least of it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

Money,money makes

............the world go round

Same way money

... ... makes the girls go down.

N dubz

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abphil OP Man
over a year ago

sheffield

Reminds of a couple i knew, they came across hard times. The solution was she would go on the townhall steps and ply her trade in the oldest proffession. After the first night they counted her gains and she had earned £12 3d. What skinney cunt gave you 3d my mate said?

All of them ahe replied!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reminds of a couple i knew, they came across hard times. The solution was she would go on the townhall steps and ply her trade in the oldest proffession. After the first night they counted her gains and she had earned £12 3d. What skinney cunt gave you 3d my mate said?

All of them ahe replied!

It's the shillings that give away the age of this joke......an oldie but a goody!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abphil OP Man
over a year ago

sheffield

All of them ahe replied!

It's the shillings that give away the age of this joke......an oldie but a goody!

Shillings whats shillings lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Roses are red and my mind is twisted

bend over boy you're about to get fisted!

Roses are red and violets are blue

what I thought was lube turned out to be glue

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats the best sex related poem, lymeric or rhyme you have ever heard? Can't think of one help."

I've done some poem style veris x check them out via my profile x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of them ahe replied!

It's the shillings that give away the age of this joke......an oldie but a goody!

Shillings whats shillings lol"

I'm too young to remember myself of course......

Think the d from £12 3d is the shilling

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her fanny

But Jack got a shock

A mouthful of cock

Cause Jill was a pre op tranny

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gloire de Dijon

by D. H. Lawrence

When she rises in the morning

I linger to watch her;

She spreads the bath cloth underneath the window

And the sunbeams catch her

Glistening white on the shoulders,

While down her sides the mellow

Golden shadow glows as

She stoops to the sponge, and her swung breasts

Sway like full blown yellow Gloire de Dijon roses.

She drips herself with water, and her shoulders

Glisten as silver, they crumple up

Like wet and falling roses, and I listen

For the sluicing of their rain dishevelled petals.

In the window full of sunlight

Concentrates her golden shadow

Fold on fold, until it glows as

Mellow as the glory roses.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

One from the playground:

Zippy and Bungle went into the jungle

Zippy was silly and pulled out his willy

And stuck it Up Bungle's bum

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abphil OP Man
over a year ago

sheffield

"One from the playground:

Zippy and Bungle went into the jungle

Zippy was silly and pulled out his willy

And stuck it Up Bungle's bum"

Kids telly never used to be like that!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread