FabSwingers.com forum: Who do you turn to in times of strife?

By *oward1978 OP Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

When you're having personal problems or are having a difficult time of things, who's that one person you'll always turn to? The person you can rely on to help you out. And why is it that person particularly you'd go to?

I only ask because I've spent the last week or so going through all kinds of personal crap and all kinds of weirdness. Anyway it turns out the only people I could turn to were the friends I've made through Fab. Their advice, kindness and words of support helped me greatly. And come this morning I'm feeling like a new person. It got me thinking how screwed I would be if I didn't have those people, as I wouldn't really have anyone. I think we all need someone we can turn to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Me."

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum she always helps me or like the other two ladies have said me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you're having personal problems or are having a difficult time of things, who's that one person you'll always turn to? The person you can rely on to help you out. And why is it that person particularly you'd go to?

Sorry to hear you are having problems and also that you have no one in day to day life to turn to...sorry if I read this wrong. For me it is my husband and one of my best mates who I have known for years. They are my rocks and I would not like to live with out them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mum she always helps me or like the other two ladies have said me "
ooooops one gent one lady lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have a person to go to, but I do have a place.

It gives me the peace and solitude to think, gather my thoughts, charge my batteries and face the world again.

Everyone should have a person or a place.

I'm glad you've found the help you needed op.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to withdraw when I'm going through difficulties which isn't always helpful but it's force of habit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my brothers . And my brothers ex . No i wouldnt before any eyebrows raise . Shes a rock . Fights her own demons but is ever such a nice kind supportive lass .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple of people from fab.

I don't tend to talk in much depth about things to my normal friends.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I dont really have anyone, my son I guess but I mostly wouldnt worry him with stuff that makes me unhappy. He has enough problems of his own.

I tend to be there for others more than they for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I find myself in times of trouble , mother Mary comes to me , speaking words of wisdom...........

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"I tend to withdraw when I'm going through difficulties which isn't always helpful but it's force of habit."

reflection time ?

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By *oward1978 OP Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

"I tend to withdraw when I'm going through difficulties which isn't always helpful but it's force of habit."

I did this for a long time. I've now found that opening up is the only thing that really helps. The problem is it can sometimes make me come across as a bit odd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Marc. It used to be my father, though.

I am a fan of helping myself, but sometimes what I need is someone who will support me and make me see things a bit differently - someone to be a bit harder on me than I tend to be when I'm feeling sorry for myself.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one. I've dealt with a whole mess of things over the last few years and had do to do myself.

So I became self reliant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I tend to withdraw when I'm going through difficulties which isn't always helpful but it's force of habit.

I did this for a long time. I've now found that opening up is the only thing that really helps. The problem is it can sometimes make me come across as a bit odd

I started opening up a few months ago and it sent everyone into a tizzy, they just weren't used to it. Fortunately I have someone now I can trust to keep their cool when I go to a dark place.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"I tend to withdraw when I'm going through difficulties which isn't always helpful but it's force of habit.

I did this for a long time. I've now found that opening up is the only thing that really helps. The problem is it can sometimes make me come across as a bit odd

we are all a bit odd at times or have our own particular foibles, no harm in recognising it which some try to hide or are wary of others knowing..

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By *oward1978 OP Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

"Marc. It used to be my father, though.

-Courtney "

Sometimes you just need someone to actually say the words to you. Sometimes to say the obvious. To give you a bit of a wake up call. That's what I find I need at times.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"I tend to withdraw when I'm going through difficulties which isn't always helpful but it's force of habit."

This. Since my sis was killed there's nobody I really turn to and don't really think I could anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a few different friends for different things.

But I think this past year I have more turned to a couple of friends I have made through fab and this would be around problems I have encountered in the real world. Without some of them I don't know what I would have done, obviously I would have had to get by some how, but having them to call on has made some situations a lot easier. I'm not one to always call on help it advice when I need it, but knowing they're there if I need it is what counts.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I remember when I hit my rock bottom I accused my mum of not being there for me. She highlighted that lots of people had always been there for me but I never asked for help.

I was always the one looking out for everyone else.

Now I talk to my 2 best friends & sometimes my Stepmum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Used to be my dad and now he's no longer here. So now I can't talk to anyone. Feeling isolated really isn't a good feeling.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

My friend Jack Daniels.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I tend to withdraw when I'm going through difficulties which isn't always helpful but it's force of habit.

I did this for a long time. I've now found that opening up is the only thing that really helps. The problem is it can sometimes make me come across as a bit odd

This for me too. I will just shut myself away and not talk to anyone for a day or two. Then other times I will text to a couple friends and talk to my bf. He helps me see different angles of things and is not afraid to tell me if I'm overreacting.

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

I'm lucky in that I have some close friends I can talk to...I did for far too long keep things to myself and carry on regardless, which believe me is not the way to do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Myself.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I'm usually the one that people turn to, so it's a bit of a bugger when I'm the one in trouble

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By *oward1978 OP Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

"I tend to withdraw when I'm going through difficulties which isn't always helpful but it's force of habit.

This. Since my sis was killed there's nobody I really turn to and don't really think I could anymore "

That's what happened to me too when my sister died. I withdrew. Turns out it wasn't good for me. Lead to all kinds of problems. Things I'm still working through now. Since I found people I can open up to I'm a different person. I'm now moving forward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like to feel I'm burdening anyone with my woes. I have a friend I met online years ago I vent to now and then and my daughters and I talk through life worries. I don't expect anyone to help me though.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

My husband first, because he understands me, or my little sister, because she never judges me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it does depend on the problem sometimes- but i can and do tell W anything and everything - and i think sometimes he knows more about me than i do - but i also have a couple of girlie mates that know me very well too - but before any of that i tend to keep stuff to myself and try and deal with it

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By *omino1966Couple
over a year ago

barrow in furness

At the moment bombay sapphire us the only friend I have

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By *oward1978 OP Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

"I have a few different friends for different things.

Just knowing someone is there is a comfort in itself.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

This thread has made me realise exactly how lucky I am.

My first port of call is always Mr N, for everything.

Second my mum and dad.

Third our daughter.

Fourth one of two friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For fab matters i have a fab friend i have coffee with every week

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I cherry pick the person according to the advice I need but it's usually me.

I was on my own when my brother told me dad had died. I howled the roof off, told my children and we made plans. Our grief has been entirely private although we share the hilarious stories that come from his funeral, often.

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By *ingle Beds LassWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

As a rule me but my bestie can sniff out a problem at 1000 paces and is always there when I need someone

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I rely on me, I turn to no-one. I have very robust coping strategies and that works really well for me.

good luck with yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to rely on me , but I have one special female friend who.... Somehow.... Knows.... It's uncanny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to become a recluse and cut myself off from everyone at first.

Not the best way to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/01/16 16:41:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The forumites are actually pretty good. I had a problem, did a thread about it and got tons of support.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on what is causing the strife.

Sometimes I'm better dealing with things quietly on my own other times I'd turn to a friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Myself

My husband

My children

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By *oward1978 OP Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

"The forumites are actually pretty good. I had a problem, did a thread about it and got tons of support.

This is very true. There are some good people on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The forumites are actually pretty good. I had a problem, did a thread about it and got tons of support.

This is very true. There are some good people on here

Speak for yourself, I'm wicked

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

I have had a few times when I have been in dark places....the first my then wife helped me become sane....then later when we broke up a few select friends.....the last time I was pulled through by the same friends & the ex-missus!! I learned meditation & deep breathing but foremost I listened to a hell of a lot of music!! The same friends are now miles away but we always are just a phone call/email away if any of us need each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always been happy alone and only shared with my ex wife and only then a bit. When she left I was destroyed with no one to talk too, luckily I had some good friends who just got me doing stuff and enjoying myself again, we didn't talk just did anything to take my mind off it.

It's massively head in the sand philosophy but I don't hold it in, I forget about it so it works for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me mum. She's always been there. No matter what situations I've got myself into. God bless her.

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

My mum and a really good friend xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It will depend on the particular problem, Anything work related I speak to work mates, My boss or my dad, Money I speak to family members or friends, Most others problems I keep to myself

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By *oward1978 OP Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

"The forumites are actually pretty good. I had a problem, did a thread about it and got tons of support.

This is very true. There are some good people on here

Speak for yourself, I'm wicked

You are but in a nice way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

GOD!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is funny, but I hardly ever turn to anyone. Not because I don't have anyone, but I always feel that I will either waste their time or will end up giving them more to worry about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It will depend on the particular problem, Anything work related I speak to work mates, My boss or my dad, Money I speak to family members or friends, Most others problems I keep to myself"

Same here !! I have different people for different problems !! But i guess my sister and mum are my real besties! They never judge and I know it's unconditional from both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rely on myself,if things get bad,I'll grab the tent and off I go..come back with my head sorted out and a plan of action

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