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Acceptable behaviour begins at home

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Indeed. I wonder how much people know about how hard it is to make a home a proper home sometimes.

When I came back as a refugee from terrorism myself and my family were "helped" by being placed in emergency housing. The house was perfect, even the setting was quite nice, but talk about neighbours from hell. Just as well we managed to drag ourselves out of there as the pressure from adults and kids could have done us countless damage.

I count myself fortunate I had the education and confidence to pull myself up but understand the syndrome of those children caught in this infernal stystem.

Stop "dumping" people in "ghettoes" which is what this was effectively, despite the accommodation being perfectly acceptable.

Are people able to look at the world from outside their own little box though?

I am beginning to seriously doubt that they can.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Its down to the individual parents how strong of character they are and what morals they instill in their children from a young age. If you live in amongst people that are not nice doesnt mean you have to be that way, some take the easy option. I personally know a lady whose husband left her when her children where babies, she lived on a really rough council estate, her sons grew up to be a lawyer and mp respectively.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people only take their behavioural traits from the box in the corner rather than accept real life.

But I do agree that education and encouraging self worth goes a long way to freeing people from the mire of hopelessness and despair the 'ghettos' thrive on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We left Brixton when our kids were 9 and 7. Looking at other friends kids and some of my family I dread to think what they would be doing now if we had stayed.we moved ten miles down the road. Our daughter is training to be a midwife and our son is in the british transport poice

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

The #1 way to reduce social deprivation and lift people out of poverty and 'ghetto' lifestyles is to give women access to both education and contraception.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The #1 way to reduce social deprivation and lift people out of poverty and 'ghetto' lifestyles is to give women access to both education and contraception."

Not just women, it takes two to make a baby...... I learned that much at school!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The #1 way to reduce social deprivation and lift people out of poverty and 'ghetto' lifestyles is to give women access to both education and contraception.

Not just women, it takes two to make a baby...... I learned that much at school! "

I think he means women as being the more "powerful" of the species.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

or perhaps influential is a better word

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The hand that rocks the cradle eh?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"The #1 way to reduce social deprivation and lift people out of poverty and 'ghetto' lifestyles is to give women access to both education and contraception.

Not just women, it takes two to make a baby...... I learned that much at school! "

Yes, but if you give the women the education and the contraception (and by that I don't mean education about contraception, I mean 'education') they will take it on board and use it.

Men however...

(without wishing to make a sweeping generalisation, but you get what I mean...)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting subject isn`t it .....

I think finding a way to readdress the rights children have today is a start....

Theres was a shift in the attitude to who holds power ....kids know they can misbehave without consequence ....

And as I`ve alluded to before, trying to involve communities in tackling unaccetable behaviour...ie peer pressure would help....

The premise that behaviour starts at home is one I`d certainly agree with ....but as others have mentioned, theres generations of latch key kids that pigate the sins of their fathers.....

Difficult to sort eh ?.....

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I think self worth and self respect need to be taught from a very young age. People need to take pride in themselves and their home/surroundings.

You dont have to have money to have respect for yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/01/11 18:19:23]

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I think self worth and self respect need to be taught from a very young age. People need to take pride in themselves and their home/surroundings.

You dont have to have money to have respect for yourself"

It's called 'being a good parent', but it's terribly unfashionable...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think self worth and self respect need to be taught from a very young age. People need to take pride in themselves and their home/surroundings.

You dont have to have money to have respect for yourself

It's called 'being a good parent', but it's terribly unfashionable..."

I doubt any "bad parents" think of themselves as so. Which then breeds the question, what makes a good parent? One person's idea will be different from the next person's. I just lock mine in the cupboard (the children that is, not the parents). It's worked thus far and keeps em out of trouble

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think self worth and self respect need to be taught from a very young age. People need to take pride in themselves and their home/surroundings.

You dont have to have money to have respect for yourself

It's called 'being a good parent', but it's terribly unfashionable...

I doubt any "bad parents" think of themselves as so. Which then breeds the question, what makes a good parent? One person's idea will be different from the next person's. I just lock mine in the cupboard (the children that is, not the parents). It's worked thus far and keeps em out of trouble "

I keep my mum in the coal bunker...keeps her out of mischief.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

A coal bunker, how quaint!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

our kids have probably got a better moral code than we have. we largely left it up to them to decide what was right and wrong,with the occasional shove in the right direction. Maybe they're just good at making the right choices

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"our kids have probably got a better moral code than we have. we largely left it up to them to decide what was right and wrong,with the occasional shove in the right direction. Maybe they're just good at making the right choices"

i brought my son up very simular to that, and hes turned out good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm waiting for the admission that someone was a shit , neglectful parent and their kids grew up twisted , violent psycopaths.....

I won't hold my breath.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry BeNice. I agree ! xxx definitely down to the home x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm waiting for the admission that someone was a shit , neglectful parent and their kids grew up twisted , violent psycopaths.....

I won't hold my breath. "

that was my parents

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By *athnBobCouple
over a year ago

sandwell

sheesh but this is going to be difficult to write without seeming to be an idiotic bigot but her goes ....

To paraphrase the OP "Refugee from terrorism dumped into a ghetto".

We take refugees into the UK and provide them with a place of safety (certainly in comparison to where they came from) at the tax payers expense.

Presumably the majority of the population of this "ghetto" were indigenous UK citizens? (of whatever ethnicity)

Why does the OP think that they deserve better conditions than some UK citizens?

It's a tough one. Some refugees are little more than economic migrants looking for a free ride whilst others are genuinely in fear of their life and hard working (as the OP appears to be).

Australia has opted for internment camp type establishments on isolated islands where refugees are kept until their case is heard. Is this the way to go? I hope not but at the same time I don't want to see refugees given prime social housing over the heads of our own passport holders.

OK I have said it .... time to go sort out the asbestos suit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"sheesh but this is going to be difficult to write without seeming to be an idiotic bigot but her goes ....

To paraphrase the OP "Refugee from terrorism dumped into a ghetto".

We take refugees into the UK and provide them with a place of safety (certainly in comparison to where they came from) at the tax payers expense.

Presumably the majority of the population of this "ghetto" were indigenous UK citizens? (of whatever ethnicity)

Why does the OP think that they deserve better conditions than some UK citizens?

It's a tough one. Some refugees are little more than economic migrants looking for a free ride whilst others are genuinely in fear of their life and hard working (as the OP appears to be).

Australia has opted for internment camp type establishments on isolated islands where refugees are kept until their case is heard. Is this the way to go? I hope not but at the same time I don't want to see refugees given prime social housing over the heads of our own passport holders.

OK I have said it .... time to go sort out the asbestos suit "

that's a pretty shitty post. i'll leave it to other more 'wordy' people to point out why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm waiting for the admission that someone was a shit , neglectful parent and their kids grew up twisted , violent psycopaths.....

I won't hold my breath. "

Well my oldest is 14. There's time yet. I'll keep you posted as to how she fares on her release from the cupboard. That will be on her 18th birthday party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some live in shit and dont mind the smell, others manage to climb out and smell the flowers

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"sheesh but this is going to be difficult to write without seeming to be an idiotic bigot but her goes ....

To paraphrase the OP "Refugee from terrorism dumped into a ghetto".

We take refugees into the UK and provide them with a place of safety (certainly in comparison to where they came from) at the tax payers expense.

Presumably the majority of the population of this "ghetto" were indigenous UK citizens? (of whatever ethnicity)

Why does the OP think that they deserve better conditions than some UK citizens?

It's a tough one. Some refugees are little more than economic migrants looking for a free ride whilst others are genuinely in fear of their life and hard working (as the OP appears to be).

Australia has opted for internment camp type establishments on isolated islands where refugees are kept until their case is heard. Is this the way to go? I hope not but at the same time I don't want to see refugees given prime social housing over the heads of our own passport holders.

OK I have said it .... time to go sort out the asbestos suit "

aye you did indeed say it and nowt wrong with stating what you think. Just think you picked it up wrongly. I am British, me Dad and Mam, me Granma but me Granpa was American. The peeps leaving near us were British but mainly so call "dysfunctional" families. But that is not the point at all is it?

The point I wanted to illustrate was that if you dump a family into a "cultural" ghetto, then they are not going to get any better are they? British or not British, and immigrants aside.

Or if it's easier, think of the British children who are put in these "dysfunctional ghettos". What chance do they have of seeing anything other than bad behaviour? Later when they are adults society will suffer from their bad upbringing.

I was not complaining about my treatment or saying that anyone should have special treatment because they are migrants, I was trying to illustrate a point.

Can you see the point I was trying to make in my OP or did I really communicate that badly?

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By *athnBobCouple
over a year ago

sandwell

be nice : I am afraid you did come across as being a little 'whiny' with reference to being "dumped" but I did understand the main point of your post. Unfortunately this dissolves into a discussion about the rights of the many Vs the rights of the few (sort of). Perhaps the "well being" would be a better description.

As a society we have a choice of what to do when these types of families end up in a location together. We can split them up or leave them be.

If we split them up they spread the misery around and more families are terrorised but the bad families MIGHT pick up good habits (although in my limited experience this rarely happens).

OR you can leave them be where they will not pick up good habits BUT their terrorising of others is kept to a minimum

I don't know the answer. Ideally I would say split them up and give them a chance BUT I honestly wouldn't want a family like that moved in next to me. Very hypocritical I know. That is why I don't know the answer.

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By *ertnbeckyCouple
over a year ago

oldham


"Its down to the individual parents how strong of character they are and what morals they instill in their children from a young age. If you live in amongst people that are not nice doesnt mean you have to be that way, some take the easy option. I personally know a lady whose husband left her when her children where babies, she lived on a really rough council estate, her sons grew up to be a lawyer and mp respectively."
thieves and liars wonder wat the neighbours kids where like

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its down to the individual parents how strong of character they are and what morals they instill in their children from a young age. If you live in amongst people that are not nice doesnt mean you have to be that way, some take the easy option. I personally know a lady whose husband left her when her children where babies, she lived on a really rough council estate, her sons grew up to be a lawyer and mp respectively.thieves and liars wonder wat the neighbours kids where like "

bldy ell - he he he he - yer a scream

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