FabSwingers.com forum: Im gonna cum...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just pull a face like this,,,

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I had a boyfriend once who was much MUCH louder than me. I used to have to put my hand over his mouth.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I've heard 'Elvis has left the building' as a guy one before. Not in the throes, I hasten to add!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just parking the car

I'll be there now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'no, not now'

when my extremely wet pussy squeezes him out. the guy always says something reassuring like i'm bothered that he popped out of me but it's coz i was coming and now i'm not...tsss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'

"
hallelujah I'm givin it to ya

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a boyfriend once who was much MUCH louder than me. I used to have to put my hand over his mouth."

at that point I'd get scared !! I make roaring lion noises....in my head...reality is probably a face like I'm blowing up a balloon with that squealing noise when you let air out of them

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'

I'm a bit conditioned to shout out.... 'Please can I cum Sir?' And when I'm with a nilla, I still automatically do it and they sort of give me a look of horror.

I used to have a fuck buddy years ago that used to start a countdown to his orgasm. It was really amusing. 5....4....3....2....groan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'

Good Jesus!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'

Good Jesus!!"

no comment

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'

I'm a bit conditioned to shout out.... 'Please can I cum Sir?' And when I'm with a nilla, I still automatically do it and they sort of give me a look of horror.

I used to have a fuck buddy years ago that used to start a countdown to his orgasm. It was really amusing. 5....4....3....2....groan. "

Haha love it!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I once screamed cabbage it was a safe word but not the right moment for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'

I'm a bit conditioned to shout out.... 'Please can I cum Sir?' And when I'm with a nilla, I still automatically do it and they sort of give me a look of horror.

I used to have a fuck buddy years ago that used to start a countdown to his orgasm. It was really amusing. 5....4....3....2....groan. "
you had to be there though ,right ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bang!! And the dirt is gone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last time i said that she said "No you're not!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a boyfriend once who was much MUCH louder than me. I used to have to put my hand over his mouth.

at that point I'd get scared !! I make roaring lion noises....in my head...reality is probably a face like I'm blowing up a balloon with that squealing noise when you let air out of them

Please keep the lion noises in your head. I once slept with a guy who roared as he released. Killed my buzz!

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By *trawberry-popWoman
over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

"I had a boyfriend once who was much MUCH louder than me. I used to have to put my hand over his mouth.

at that point I'd get scared !! I make roaring lion noises....in my head...reality is probably a face like I'm blowing up a balloon with that squealing noise when you let air out of them

Please keep the lion noises in your head. I once slept with a guy who roared as he released. Killed my buzz!"

I used to see a guy who growled. I quite liked it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's more of a post-orgasm moment, but sometimes I burst into hysterical laughter. I remember one time when myself & a previous partner kept having to stop & start as I was cumming too much...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once screamed cabbage it was a safe word but not the right moment for it

lmfao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and boom goes the dynamite!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Last time i said that she said "No you're not!!"

Omg, that is exactly what happened last night!!!!! Except she included fucking better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a boyfriend once who was much MUCH louder than me. I used to have to put my hand over his mouth.

at that point I'd get scared !! I make roaring lion noises....in my head...reality is probably a face like I'm blowing up a balloon with that squealing noise when you let air out of them

Please keep the lion noises in your head. I once slept with a guy who roared as he released. Killed my buzz!

I used to see a guy who growled. I quite liked it!"

A growl is sexy. A full on lion ROOOOOAAAARRRRR less so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'

The Japanese believe an orgasm is like an out of body experience, the moment feeling like you are about to leave your body, the thin line between life and death.

Instead of saying "I'm coming" they would say something like "I'm going" or "I'm leaving".

Brought to you by the department of useless information.

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By *andyblokeMan
over a year ago

birmingham

a gf of mine used to grunt like a pig each time she came. Which was ok except she was quite loud too!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great googly mooglies!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I yell "Huzzah! For The Queen & Saint George! Huzzah!" at the top of my voice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I yell "Huzzah! For The Queen & Saint George! Huzzah!" at the top of my voice. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm more of a "Ooops! Sorry, love... that's errr... never really happened before! Honest!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ermmmmm I've forgotten

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They think it's all over..............it is now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's more of a post-orgasm moment, but sometimes I burst into hysterical laughter. I remember one time when myself & a previous partner kept having to stop & start as I was cumming too much...

When the misses cums she breaks out into laughter - we have to tell meets this so as not to give the guys a complex lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had anyone seen hot tub time machine?

SHIA LABEOUF!!!

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By *aked_ShenanigansCouple
over a year ago

nearby

"and boom goes the dynamite!"

Came here to say just that!!

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By *muffin manMan
over a year ago

hadleywood/barnet

Ohhh fuuuuckkkk about 5 times lol

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By *ohnkezCouple
over a year ago

shefiield

A female responded by saying "ohh my lord" - I told her to say "ohhh fuck yessss" for her second one - and she did hahahaha

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I like a noisy man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to shout 'go free my pretties'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

POW!! Right in the kisser!

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

"I had a boyfriend once who was much MUCH louder than me. I used to have to put my hand over his mouth."

Hate that. Had a FB do it last week

Just as I was about to pop (I can get a tad noisy on occasion) he put his hand over my mouth. Put me right off and didn't come

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By *ikstupp2Man
over a year ago

london

Cum in my face u dirty cuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnttttaaaaahhh! Lol

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

The guy said something like 'oh my god I'm going to come' my reply was 'not before me your not' lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yoikes and tally ho , the badgers left his sett

Chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cream your cookie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been known to Chuck out an "ah....Bisto" just after ??

And there's always the giggle when your having a blow job and get told "tell me when your gonna cum" (cos she doesn't want it in her mouth) and all you do is lay back and stay silent and then get the state of an angry Dragon ??

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Mine normally go along the lines of.... fffffffuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkkkyyyyyyyeeeeeeessssssssssss as some can testify

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Or I just knock on the door

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

I once was with a bloke who was that excited actually screamed I thought I'd killed him. Didn't meet him again x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nearly at the station!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i grip that little bit tighter - inside and out ............apparently

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Put the kettle on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I simply say

FUCK!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh god a guy once exclaimed [in a Yorkshire accent] "I'm gunna shoot mi muck"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's more of a post-orgasm moment, but sometimes I burst into hysterical laughter. I remember one time when myself & a previous partner kept having to stop & start as I was cumming too much...

When the misses cums she breaks out into laughter - we have to tell meets this so as not to give the guys a complex lol "

Yeah, the third

time I had sex with my ex, afterwards he left me rolling round on his bed laughing my arse off while I tried to assure him that I wasn't actually laughing at him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh god a guy once exclaimed [in a Yorkshire accent] "I'm gunna shoot mi muck"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry

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By *hamCouple30Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

I heard someone say, "The Mother Load is Coming!"

This was at a sex party. Everyone started laughing and broken the mood.

It was funny x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was having sex weekend just gone with a fb who's not into swinging or on here and we was spooning and her beds against wall I was in motion and just about to Cum when I got over excited n my ass cheeks pushed into the radiator which was on and red hot I screamed as my assignment scolded she said OMG did u enjoy that sounded like u did for me to say ain't come yet just burnt my ass and that's what noise was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm more of a "Ooops! Sorry, love... that's errr... never really happened before! Honest!""
think I'm same boat as this guy lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a boyfriend once who was much MUCH louder than me. I used to have to put my hand over his mouth.

Hate that. Had a FB do it last week

Just as I was about to pop (I can get a tad noisy on occasion) he put his hand over my mouth. Put me right off and didn't come

"
Awwwww have you blocked him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'

"
here it cums let's get ready to rumble

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a weird inability to swear at ahem 'that moment', hence phrases such as "golly gosh" and "fudge cakes" have been known to trip unguarded from my lips - generally to guffaws of laughter from whoever else is there. FB thinks it's the funniest thing ever!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a weird inability to swear at ahem 'that moment', hence phrases such as "golly gosh" and "fudge cakes" have been known to trip unguarded from my lips - generally to guffaws of laughter from whoever else is there. FB thinks it's the funniest thing ever! "
oh my gord " fudge cakes" hehe you devil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Crikey" seems to be another regular involuntary exclamation. I have no idea why I do this. My head says "fuuuuuuuuuucckkkk", my mouth translates it to "oh golly".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Crikey" seems to be another regular involuntary exclamation. I have no idea why I do this. My head says "fuuuuuuuuuucckkkk", my mouth translates it to "oh golly". "
hehe hey for me the noise of sex is a turn on its not what you say at the point of cumming its what you sounded like on the way to it mmmmmmmmm

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Crikey" seems to be another regular involuntary exclamation. I have no idea why I do this. My head says "fuuuuuuuuuucckkkk", my mouth translates it to "oh golly". "

Now that I'd really really love to see for sooooo many reasons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'

"
oh my god there yes there keep doing it ,yes yes yes yes yes there cmon there oh for fucks sake its gone now you dickhead what are you playing at now do it again with passion

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By *moothies.Couple
over a year ago

Woodthorpe

All I manage is fuck. You need to listen to the urgency and tone to gauge how close lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'

I'm a bit conditioned to shout out.... 'Please can I cum Sir?' And when I'm with a nilla, I still automatically do it and they sort of give me a look of horror.

I used to have a fuck buddy years ago that used to start a countdown to his orgasm. It was really amusing. 5....4....3....2....groan. "

Dear god now that would be a turn on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brace yourself Mildred!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh god a guy once exclaimed [in a Yorkshire accent] "I'm gunna shoot mi muck"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry

nearly choked on my cornflakes then - i think i might have had a panic moment

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

"Back of the net!"

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Shooting my load

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Back of the net

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was having sex weekend just gone with a fb who's not into swinging or on here and we was spooning and her beds against wall I was in motion and just about to Cum when I got over excited n my ass cheeks pushed into the radiator which was on and red hot I screamed as my assignment scolded she said OMG did u enjoy that sounded like u did for me to say ain't come yet just burnt my ass and that's what noise was "

Ouch

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""Back of the net!"

Theres always one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There she blows!!!!!!

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By *neeyedpirateMan
over a year ago

ask!

Yes! I win.....

Goes down a storm lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I wish i could download this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One guy shouted Geronimo

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By *neeyedpirateMan
over a year ago

ask!

"I wish i could download this thread

Everyone loves a download lol X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Game set & match

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hows that for a gut shot!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An ex of mine used to go into total exorcist mode..her eyes would roll and she would just start speaking complete jibberish..doing the whole religious speaking in tongues thing.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

By shouting, "Surrender Dorothy!"

Anyone?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"An ex of mine used to go into total exorcist mode..her eyes would roll and she would just start speaking complete jibberish..doing the whole religious speaking in tongues thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yabba dabba dooooo!!!!

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"There she blows!!!!!!

I hope you do it in full on "pirate"....

THAR SHE BLOWSSSSSS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There she blows!!!!!!

I hope you do it in full on "pirate"....

THAR SHE BLOWSSSSSS"

im very vocal my ex used to pinch my nose

gawd nahs why but it worked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

SHADWELL ARMY!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seconds after the finale event I asked an ex... Did you cum, she replied NO in no uncertain terms !

My answer was "Beat ya" i couldn't stop laughing....

Far from amused but at least I laughed and it became a bit of a saying around friends who I told the tale too !

She did see the funny side to my comment later I'll add and continued seeing each other for some months....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seconds after the finale event I asked an ex... Did you cum, she replied NO in no uncertain terms !

My answer was "Beat ya" i couldn't stop laughing....

Far from amused but at least I laughed and it became a bit of a saying around friends who I told the tale too !

She did see the funny side to my comment later I'll add and continued seeing each other for some months....

haha nice 1

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman
over a year ago

Hereabouts

FRIZINGHALL

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Seconds after the finale event I asked an ex... Did you cum, she replied NO in no uncertain terms !

My answer was "Beat ya" i couldn't stop laughing....

Far from amused but at least I laughed and it became a bit of a saying around friends who I told the tale too !

She did see the funny side to my comment later I'll add and continued seeing each other for some months....

"
pmsl i may steal that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Taxiing down the runway !

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By *neeyedpirateMan
over a year ago

ask!

"Taxiing down the runway !"

Love the aircraft one lol X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a heavy set guy I used to let out a little squeak which was odd

And once a mate in another room shouted woo woo spunk trains commin!

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By *S RachaelTV/TS
over a year ago

Lowestoft

My ex used to put her hands on the back of my head and bury it in her pussy till it stopped. She'd burst out laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am told ('cause I cannot remember) that my eyes roll up and I go "oooh oooh oooooooooh" If the guy is not quite getting there I have been known to say "FUCK ME HARDER!!!"

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

Thought of another. This is more of a post cum statement than a pre warning.

An American colleague used to say to me after ejaculation... 'Jesus wept! I wanna marry you.' In a southern drawl.

I stupidly told one of the lads in my team, giggling but instantly regretting revealing this.

The 'Jesus wept' guy (as he was then on known) worked in a different department of a gigantic building. Then next day I came into work on Valentine's Day and balloons and flowers were floating round work etc. I arrive at my desk to find my team have decorated it in 'Jesus Wept' and 'bride to be' and congratulations balloons and banners. The lads all standing there laughing, proud of their work as 'Jesus Wept' guy walks in. My best mate had to run interference while I dived to a different desk across the office and pretend I worked there. I felt awful but couldn't stop laughing. The fuckers in my team still told him.

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By *ucky1sCouple
over a year ago

yorkshire

open yah gob

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By *oddamnCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'

I'm a bit conditioned to shout out.... 'Please can I cum Sir?' And when I'm with a nilla, I still automatically do it and they sort of give me a look of horror.

I used to have a fuck buddy years ago that used to start a countdown to his orgasm. It was really amusing. 5....4....3....2....groan. "

Had to double check your profile to make sure that wasn't me! I do the countdown when we are both holding back to try and please the other, it's my way of saying "I can't hold back much longer!"

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By *ucky1sCouple
over a year ago

yorkshire

open yah gob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The train arriving at platform two is mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm of that's fucking good.

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