FabSwingers.com forum: How do I tell my girlfriend I'm bi?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've sort of know for a while but finally accepted the fact I'm bi. I have a girlfriend who doesn't know a thing. If fact non of my friends know. Can't yet entertain the thought of my friends knowing but I am considering telling my girlfriend. Any advice welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just tell her that you're bi?

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By *hoenixandflamesCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

Heya, Flames here... Bi guy, but I've had the fortune of "always knowing".

How long have you been going out together?

And the question is, do you want to act upon it, or are you happy being monogamous? (Granted you are on a swinging site, so maybe not?)

Depends on what she thinks about guy on guy etc.

I've had exes where they knew I was Bi, but didn't like to think about guy on guy and didn't like that aspect of me.

There were relationships where I was happily monogamous too (strapons help LOL).

But all depends on what you want to do to act upon it.

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By *he horny kinkstersCouple
over a year ago

North West

You know better than us how well she's likely to handle that news.

Are you both swingers?

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

There's better sites than this to find advice about this subject x

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By *annooWoman
over a year ago

Hastings

Just sit down and say you've realised that you feel things and want to be honest with her and then tell her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sit her down and be honest about it. Answer any questions she has truthfully and let her decide whether she can accept a boyfriend who's Bisexual or not.

Hope it goes well for you

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Easy, just show her your profile and she will notice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sit down and say you've realised that you feel things and want to be honest with her and then tell her"

If you tell her your bi. She will hear you saying that you want a man.

She will think that she is not enough and all hell will break loose.

It is usual for men to fancy other men and think they would like to have a go . It' doesn't mean your bi or gay .

But unless you have done it and enjoyed and want to have a relationship , eg spend life with a man.

Keep your mouth well and truly shut .

Next time , your single experiment and say to new girl you experimented with it , quite early in relationship .

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

"Just sit down and say you've realised that you feel things and want to be honest with her and then tell her

If you tell her your bi. She will hear you saying that you want a man.

She will think that she is not enough and all hell will break loose.

It is usual for men to fancy other men and think they would like to have a go . It' doesn't mean your bi or gay .

But unless you have done it and enjoyed and want to have a relationship , eg spend life with a man.

Keep your mouth well and truly shut .

Next time , your single experiment and say to new girl you experimented with it , quite early in relationship . "

For the record, I don't agree with any of this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've got to know she is someone you can trust, I never told girlfriends until my ex, told her and all I'd get is the odd snidey comment about it, explain to her what extent you bisexuality go's and hopefully she will understand, if she doesn't take it well it's better to live how you want than to be hiding something.

Hope it works out for you.

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

My wife got a phone call and caught me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Send her a pic of you with a big dick hanging out the back of you. Easy.

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

she knows pal, "most" women are intuitive so don't be fooled. she's probably just waiting for you to come clean so she can pack her bags lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sit down and say you've realised that you feel things and want to be honest with her and then tell her

If you tell her your bi. She will hear you saying that you want a man.

She will think that she is not enough and all hell will break loose.

It is usual for men to fancy other men and think they would like to have a go . It' doesn't mean your bi or gay .

But unless you have done it and enjoyed and want to have a relationship , eg spend life with a man.

Keep your mouth well and truly shut .

Next time , your single experiment and say to new girl you experimented with it , quite early in relationship .

For the record, I don't agree with any of this"

Neither do I.

Op honesty to yourself and to your girlfriend are the most important things here. To live and be happy you have to live a life where you can be open and not feel you have to hide away your true self.

I can't advise on the conversation you should have but I suspect there may be at least initially, confusion and upset if this is something that will be a complete shock to her system. You staying calm and not getting upset over any reaction is also an important thing as if she is upset that will help. If she needs space and time to adjust give her that and respect what she has to say, and be ready with open answers to aby questions she may have.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sit down and say you've realised that you feel things and want to be honest with her and then tell her

If you tell her your bi. She will hear you saying that you want a man.

She will think that she is not enough and all hell will break loose.

It is usual for men to fancy other men and think they would like to have a go . It' doesn't mean your bi or gay .

But unless you have done it and enjoyed and want to have a relationship , eg spend life with a man.

Keep your mouth well and truly shut .

Next time , your single experiment and say to new girl you experimented with it , quite early in relationship .

For the record, I don't agree with any of this"

Seconded

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By *ongtalljonMan
over a year ago

North Wales

You are on a swingers site and you have a girlfriend... does she know about your profile?

If so, and if you both swing together, then it should be quite easy to "introduce a new aspect", "try something different" etc.

If she doesn't know that you're on this site, then her reaction is probably gonna be similar to her reaction if she ever found out about your profile here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does she know you are on fab and meeting too? Seems you need to tell her 2 things. Do it over a dinner or a movie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP..... I kinda guess this might sound a bit brutal,,,,,, but if you are engaging in same sex activity behind her back and genuinely concerned about her feelings ,,,,, you should man up and tell her without delay and without consideration for your own sensibilities,,,

She deservers to know and you should accept whatever the outcome be with good grace .......

That's my take on it....

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By *annooWoman
over a year ago

Hastings

I only said that I think he should be honest and tell her how he feels

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Just sit down and say you've realised that you feel things and want to be honest with her and then tell her

If you tell her your bi. She will hear you saying that you want a man.

She will think that she is not enough and all hell will break loose.

It is usual for men to fancy other men and think they would like to have a go . It' doesn't mean your bi or gay .

But unless you have done it and enjoyed and want to have a relationship , eg spend life with a man.

Keep your mouth well and truly shut .

Next time , your single experiment and say to new girl you experimented with it , quite early in relationship .

For the record, I don't agree with any of this"

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Get some male fashion magazine or men's health and look through it and say 'he's fit' and say 'I like his body' and see if she asks if you like men.

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By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

"Does she know you are on fab and meeting too? Seems you need to tell her 2 things. Do it over a dinner or a movie."

Make sure it's one you can pause though, nothing worse than someone talking all the way through a film

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By *S RachaelTV/TS
over a year ago

Lowestoft

Don't.

She will never trust you again. You will face a barrage of questions about your past sex life. She will ask you if you love her any more. There will be tearful phone calls and coffee meets with girlfriends. She will think you have been unfaithful. And do you want to play the field

For a man bisexuality in a man means you are less of a man (they will think that while they are being supportive). When you split up everyone will know.

Anyway if you are faithful what does it matter...you made your choice. Why do you want to tell her?It would be like saying you want other women.

But then I might be wrong. I don't know her. I'd do it into conversation nonchalantly at some point as "yes of course, all men feel a bit bi...etc" rather than making a big announcement.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think it depends on many things.

Sexual orientation may be something that's insignificant, if you're monogamous within a relationship, only making use of your choices when single.

If it's troubling then I'd suggest talking it through with whoever would help you accept yourself. It may or may not be her. My gut feel is that most guys who have some bi aspects keep it contained in their heads. That's great if it's easy but sometimes it's not.

In our current relationships we usually have rules concerning honesty and interaction with others. If you're fulfilling those then you might want to slowly introduce the idea that you're a broader person than she may have considered. It partly depends on your current rules as well as where you think the relationship may be going.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Type Mark Bentley Cohen into your search engine... was very helpful.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

"Hey hun"

"I'm home"

"By the way, I'm bi"

"Whats for dinner?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does she know you are on fab and meeting too? Seems you need to tell her 2 things. Do it over a dinner or a movie.

Make sure it's one you can pause though, nothing worse than someone talking all the way through a film

"
Yes and make sure it is a good movie as well lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sit down and say you've realised that you feel things and want to be honest with her and then tell her

If you tell her your bi. She will hear you saying that you want a man.

She will think that she is not enough and all hell will break loose.

It is usual for men to fancy other men and think they would like to have a go . It' doesn't mean your bi or gay .

But unless you have done it and enjoyed and want to have a relationship , eg spend life with a man.

Keep your mouth well and truly shut .

Next time , your single experiment and say to new girl you experimented with it , quite early in relationship . "

What a load bollox this is

... In the nicest possible way

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Sit her down and say I'm bisexual

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By *xyzptlk088Man
over a year ago

Galway

"I've sort of know for a while but finally accepted the fact I'm bi. I have a girlfriend who doesn't know a thing. If fact non of my friends know. Can't yet entertain the thought of my friends knowing but I am considering telling my girlfriend. Any advice welcome. "

Why would you tell your girlfriend unless you want to be with somebody else?If you are happy with her then you stay with her and enjoy the heterosexual side of bisexuality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would you tell your girlfriend unless you want to be with somebody else?If you are happy with her then you stay with her and enjoy the heterosexual side of bisexuality"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sit down and say you've realised that you feel things and want to be honest with her and then tell her

If you tell her your bi. She will hear you saying that you want a man.

She will think that she is not enough and all hell will break loose.

It is usual for men to fancy other men and think they would like to have a go . It' doesn't mean your bi or gay .

But unless you have done it and enjoyed and want to have a relationship , eg spend life with a man.

Keep your mouth well and truly shut .

Next time , your single experiment and say to new girl you experimented with it , quite early in relationship .

For the record, I don't agree with any of this"

Nor do I. "What a load of crap". I thought.

I told my lady I was bi after 11 years together. Admittedly I wasn't on a swinging site shagging around behind her back at the time.

The more we talked about it the more I revealed about the way I felt. Telling her I felt I had a female brain was of no surprise to her. Being bi was something she hadn't realised but it made sense once she thought about me in the new light.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just suck the wrong guy off

Then let him tell her

Just like happened to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't.

For a man bisexuality in a man means you are less of a man (they will think that while they are being supportive). When you split up everyone will know.

Anyway if you are faithful what does it matter...you made your choice. Why do you want to tell her?It would be like saying you want other women.

But then I might be wrong. I don't know her. I'd do it into conversation nonchalantly at some point as "yes of course, all men feel a bit bi...etc" rather than making a big announcement.

If you are at all unsure about her reaction, say nothing.

If you think she may be homophobic definitely don't say anything. She might 'out' you to everyone and not in a nice way.

Good luck.

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