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Sex Drive/ menopause

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By *istressZoe OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

cheshire

Hey Fabsters

Genuine question how do you cope with a loss of or lack of sex drive?

I'm particularly keen to hear from couples who have a mismatched sex drive or as In my situation .... Regular F/b experiencing a particular difficult period of menopause so has increased medication and worries that she doesn't feel sexy etc x

Despite my User name im a male so please go gently with me - and yes things may need spelling out x

Regards x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi I have had a problem for the last few months , I was in hospital for a long time after a small run in with some not nice people , (was in the Army ) at 1st was worried and embarrassed wife left but not all down to my problem anyway geting back on my feet but don't want to know anyone in that way at all was on here chating that was it ,a friend of mine a girl new about it anyway one day we kind of played was very surprised to find I still came anyway she said I was good at forplay and just tell the truth to everyone I did and haveing a great time some times I get proper hard most understand and those that don't well thats there loss .

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

There are a whole raft of issues: I have several friends gone/ going through it:

It's all part of the hormonal change

Some are lucky and have no effects,

( and are delighted that periods are a thing of the past).

Some have physical issues : the classic hot flush, plus tiredness, putting on weight, feeling cold, headaches.....

Some have depression, etc

Some have all of the above.

Not feeling sexy is a combination of depression caused by hormonal changes, and also some idea deep in the mind that once a woman stops mentruating, she is somehow "no longer a proper woman. " plus the tiredness.

There are support groups that can help; plus you can help by reassuring her that she is still a sexy woman, but don't overdo it!

She should discuss with her GP; HRT works really well, either a chord treatment to help her " through" the menopause, or a more permanent HRT.

Sadly, though, the U.K. And the NHS are actually very reluctant to help women with menopause, many doctors are very dismissive , with a sort of " well you are getting older , just stop bothering with sex " attitude.

( and use " HRT might have side effects" nonsense to justify)

Unlike here on the continent; where any doctor will discuss menopause, and prescribe treatments and HRT.

Nevertheless, try the GP, support groups.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey Fabsters

Genuine question how do you cope with a loss of or lack of sex drive?

I'm particularly keen to hear from couples who have a mismatched sex drive or as In my situation .... Regular F/b experiencing a particular difficult period of menopause so has increased medication and worries that she doesn't feel sexy etc x

Despite my User name im a male so please go gently with me - and yes things may need spelling out x

Regards x"

Going through early menopause here after having cancer. I am unabke to take HRT and it feels horrible when you get to that stage. Personally I feel definised that I am unable to satisfy due to my own lack of drive. Patience is a virtue although I have been told that in some cases, your drive might now return. I have not had my drive as I used to be for 5 and a half years and boy am I searching for it.

Good luck with everything. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im incredibly lucky so far - 53 and no sign of the big M -

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"There are a whole raft of issues: I have several friends gone/ going through it:

It's all part of the hormonal change

Some are lucky and have no effects,

( and are delighted that periods are a thing of the past).

Some have physical issues : the classic hot flush, plus tiredness, putting on weight, feeling cold, headaches.....

Some have depression, etc

Some have all of the above.

Not feeling sexy is a combination of depression caused by hormonal changes, and also some idea deep in the mind that once a woman stops mentruating, she is somehow "no longer a proper woman. " plus the tiredness.

There are support groups that can help; plus you can help by reassuring her that she is still a sexy woman, but don't overdo it!

She should discuss with her GP; HRT works really well, either a chord treatment to help her " through" the menopause, or a more permanent HRT.

Sadly, though, the U.K. And the NHS are actually very reluctant to help women with menopause, many doctors are very dismissive , with a sort of " well you are getting older , just stop bothering with sex " attitude.

( and use " HRT might have side effects" nonsense to justify)

Unlike here on the continent; where any doctor will discuss menopause, and prescribe treatments and HRT.

Nevertheless, try the GP, support groups.

"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Hey Fabsters

Genuine question how do you cope with a loss of or lack of sex drive?

I'm particularly keen to hear from couples who have a mismatched sex drive or as In my situation .... Regular F/b experiencing a particular difficult period of menopause so has increased medication and worries that she doesn't feel sexy etc x

Despite my User name im a male so please go gently with me - and yes things may need spelling out x

Regards x"

Is there a particular reason that she doesn't feel as if she wants sex? Is it uncomfortable, does she feel so hot she can't bear being touched, has her body changed in such a way that she feels unattractive? Communication is your first option.

Is her medication the correct one, could it be altered?

There are numerous on line resources some more helpful than others.

Its really difficult to advise someone without being able to ask direct questions but I would say that talking, research and loving understanding on both sides helps a lot. Try and find an older female doctor to talk it over with too.

Good luck

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Also recent thinking on HRT has changed and doctors are more willing to discuss its use but you mention medication so I assume she already uses it.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Friends of mine have not had sex for over a year and a half due to her going through the menopause, she has said that she feels awful most of the time, sickness, overheating, dizzy, excessive vaginal dryness, to name but a few symptoms. He waits patiently for the when she gets in the mood, which sadly is once in a blue moon

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