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Relationship/repeat meets

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By *iamondsmiles. OP   Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

When you meet someone and get on with them do you discuss repeat meets or is it something you just fall into a pattern of doing, same with relationships, do you just drift into a relationship or do you have a "now we are going to be in a relationship" talk.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"When you meet someone and get on with them do you discuss repeat meets or is it something you just fall into a pattern of doing, same with relationships, do you just drift into a relationship or do you have a "now we are going to be in a relationship" talk.

"

From recent personal experience of a four-year liaison on the site I'd just say beware, as this is not the same as vanilla life, and it can shut down with alarming speed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With Marc, when we were dating, we did have a "this is getting serious talk" relatively early on. But I think that is because I am a very direct person and I don't like ambiguity.

As for meets here, when they go well, yes I like to ask if they would like to meet again, perhaps regularly. I prefer clarity.

-Courtney

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By *iamondsmiles. OP   Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"When you meet someone and get on with them do you discuss repeat meets or is it something you just fall into a pattern of doing, same with relationships, do you just drift into a relationship or do you have a "now we are going to be in a relationship" talk.

From recent personal experience of a four-year liaison on the site I'd just say beware, as this is not the same as vanilla life, and it can shut down with alarming speed"
I don't understand what your saying

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"When you meet someone and get on with them do you discuss repeat meets or is it something you just fall into a pattern of doing, same with relationships, do you just drift into a relationship or do you have a "now we are going to be in a relationship" talk.

From recent personal experience of a four-year liaison on the site I'd just say beware, as this is not the same as vanilla life, and it can shut down with alarming speedI don't understand what your saying

"

I'm saying that a relationship forged on the site is hazardous if either party is still hooked on looking for new people on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you meet someone and get on with them do you discuss repeat meets or is it something you just fall into a pattern of doing, same with relationships, do you just drift into a relationship or do you have a "now we are going to be in a relationship" talk.

From recent personal experience of a four-year liaison on the site I'd just say beware, as this is not the same as vanilla life, and it can shut down with alarming speedI don't understand what your saying

"

I met someone quite local on site about 4 years ago. I "wasn't her type" (she likes tall/muscular) but we stayed in brief contact. We met by chance a few months later at a rather busy party...but we had some fun and she decided I was her type after all. We saw each other off and on for a year or so....then she got a caravan. We then had about 18 months were we spent most weekends in her caravan (unless either of us had other plans on the site...though she was off and on a few times in that period).

She has now sold the van (October) and moved away (we lived about 200 yards apart). We still text but that's it....luckily we did not get into a relationship.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think I might have a different idea of what constitutes a relationship to other people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only had one relationship and that started off being asked out as a teenager. Sexual relationships that have lasted started as one time and carried on because we all get what we wanted. The ones that ended were because a couple went abroad to work and another because he found a girlfriend. The others are still going strong.

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By *iamondsmiles. OP   Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"When you meet someone and get on with them do you discuss repeat meets or is it something you just fall into a pattern of doing, same with relationships, do you just drift into a relationship or do you have a "now we are going to be in a relationship" talk.

From recent personal experience of a four-year liaison on the site I'd just say beware, as this is not the same as vanilla life, and it can shut down with alarming speedI don't understand what your saying

I'm saying that a relationship forged on the site is hazardous if either party is still hooked on looking for new people on it"
I ment relationships in general, like will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend kind of thing.

I was curious as to when people start referring to the person they see as their partner, is it a sit down talk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I might have a different idea of what constitutes a relationship to other people "

Proper ones are where you introduce them to your family and call them dear. Sexual ones,just sex. I don't do fwb where you socialise together.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"When you meet someone and get on with them do you discuss repeat meets or is it something you just fall into a pattern of doing, same with relationships, do you just drift into a relationship or do you have a "now we are going to be in a relationship" talk.

From recent personal experience of a four-year liaison on the site I'd just say beware, as this is not the same as vanilla life, and it can shut down with alarming speedI don't understand what your saying

I'm saying that a relationship forged on the site is hazardous if either party is still hooked on looking for new people on itI ment relationships in general, like will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend kind of thing.

I was curious as to when people start referring to the person they see as their partner, is it a sit down talk.

"

Oh I see.

For some reason I read that as referring to relationships that start on the site, but now see that your OP doesn't specify that so my bad and carry on....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think I might have a different idea of what constitutes a relationship to other people

Proper ones are where you introduce them to your family and call them dear. Sexual ones,just sex. I don't do fwb where you socialise together."

This is where I struggle to understand, when you say "proper" do you mean that any relationship other than a traditional partnership isn't real?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nell and I have discussed our relationship and we know what we're doing. How other people do it is up to them, I don't think there's any hard and fast rules.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

My fb and I had a conversation after the first meet about future meets and its just been 3 years and we still meet on occasion. So we agreed what our fab interactions would be like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a difficult one I had a fwb arrangement with a woman of the same age for almost a year and it ended cause she said she developed feeling for me. We hooked up about once every 3 weeks and had a meal and drinks then went back to a hotel room for some adult time we had an amazing run but we both knew it had run its course. In my opinion you get a feel for these things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you meet someone and get on with them do you discuss repeat meets or is it something you just fall into a pattern of doing, same with relationships, do you just drift into a relationship or do you have a "now we are going to be in a relationship" talk.

"

we just fell into a pattern

ive never had a relationship talk tbh

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

We both knew pretty early on it was serious because we got on so well, had so much in common and our 'relationship' was accepted in the real world much easier than on fab. Now we live together but my mum is still not sure what to call him (partner or boyfriend) but he almost fell over when my kids started calling him their step dad .... I can't remember having the talk as such, just we both knew.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting one. Fun to meet people more than once, but do emotions start to come into it after a while?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I might have a different idea of what constitutes a relationship to other people

Proper ones are where you introduce them to your family and call them dear. Sexual ones,just sex. I don't do fwb where you socialise together.

This is where I struggle to understand, when you say "proper" do you mean that any relationship other than a traditional partnership isn't real?"

No,but it's difficult to put a name to a partnership that isn't just sex,as there are so many kinds. If I introduce someone to my family as my boyfriend it's official and we are in a relationship. I have relationships with men that are sex only,there's nothing official about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you start telling someone where you are going to be and who you are with it's getting serious.

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By *exycouple68Couple
over a year ago

herefordshire


"When you meet someone and get on with them do you discuss repeat meets or is it something you just fall into a pattern of doing, same with relationships, do you just drift into a relationship or do you have a "now we are going to be in a relationship" talk.

"
I met a bloke on here 2 yrs ago only as a f/b we some how fell in love and are getting married . Not sure when it crossed the f/b relationship line but I'm so glad it did x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Interesting one. Fun to meet people more than once, but do emotions start to come into it after a while?"

No interaction between people is completely emotionless though or very few. That's why I don't understand the definition of relationship in these circumstances, does not wanting a relationship translate as not wanting to take responsibility for how each person feels or is affected?

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By *exycouple68Couple
over a year ago

herefordshire


"When you meet someone and get on with them do you discuss repeat meets or is it something you just fall into a pattern of doing, same with relationships, do you just drift into a relationship or do you have a "now we are going to be in a relationship" talk.

From recent personal experience of a four-year liaison on the site I'd just say beware, as this is not the same as vanilla life, and it can shut down with alarming speedI don't understand what your saying

I'm saying that a relationship forged on the site is hazardous if either party is still hooked on looking for new people on it"
we're both looking for new experiences with other people . Meeting g on here hasn't been hazardous to us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On here, I have to feel a connection with someone but I have a partner so I don't get or want to be emotionally involved past friendship, my meets are friends first and foremost a lot of the time (except in clubs but I still talk to them all).

When I met my partner on the first night we spoke he told me he was on here, so am I, we have never had anything but open honest conversations about it since the first day.

However I can see and appreciate that emotions can and do become involved, there are people on here it works out for, others not, if not then its a shame but moving on and past it is the best thing to do.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think I might have a different idea of what constitutes a relationship to other people

Proper ones are where you introduce them to your family and call them dear. Sexual ones,just sex. I don't do fwb where you socialise together.

This is where I struggle to understand, when you say "proper" do you mean that any relationship other than a traditional partnership isn't real?

No,but it's difficult to put a name to a partnership that isn't just sex,as there are so many kinds. If I introduce someone to my family as my boyfriend it's official and we are in a relationship. I have relationships with men that are sex only,there's nothing official about it."

I suppose it's just a question of how you label it then. It doesn't matter as long as those involved are happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Interesting one. Fun to meet people more than once, but do emotions start to come into it after a while?

No interaction between people is completely emotionless though or very few. That's why I don't understand the definition of relationship in these circumstances, does not wanting a relationship translate as not wanting to take responsibility for how each person feels or is affected?"

I agree, emotions are there, but at what point do those emotions start to say "I would rather you don't meet other people". I guess that's what I meant by emotions.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Interesting one. Fun to meet people more than once, but do emotions start to come into it after a while?

No interaction between people is completely emotionless though or very few. That's why I don't understand the definition of relationship in these circumstances, does not wanting a relationship translate as not wanting to take responsibility for how each person feels or is affected?

I agree, emotions are there, but at what point do those emotions start to say "I would rather you don't meet other people". I guess that's what I meant by emotions.

"

Ah I understand. I don't know to be honest, it's all dreadfully complicated and I'm quite glad I don't have to worry about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For repeat meets on here, I suppose it's just talked about in the sense that if I met someone and enjoyed it I'd text them to say I hope we get an opportunity to meet again. And take it from there. I suppose if you meet someone enough times it then just slides into an expectation that you'll be meeting again unless one of you says otherwise.

I have no idea what the done thing is for relationships.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"Interesting one. Fun to meet people more than once, but do emotions start to come into it after a while?

No interaction between people is completely emotionless though or very few. That's why I don't understand the definition of relationship in these circumstances, does not wanting a relationship translate as not wanting to take responsibility for how each person feels or is affected?

I agree, emotions are there, but at what point do those emotions start to say "I would rather you don't meet other people". I guess that's what I meant by emotions.

"

We met on here ... we now live together ... but our emotions have not come to dictate to each other than we dont meet others. It doesn't for couples who were couples before they started swinging, so why should it for a couple who meets here. If anything, though, we have both found less of a desire to meet others whilst we develop our relationship ...

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