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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dear Auntie polo,
Could you possibly help me, I’m at my wits end
I wrote a polite message, it’s all that I send
I just don’t know what to do or what else to try
I wrote a polite message but I get no reply
Is it something I’m doing, something I said
Every message deleted, most are unread
The lack of response is now causing distress
In trust, yours sincerely, man in Skegness
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Dear man from Skeggy
What could be wrong with your message, well that will depend
On the words which you choose in the message you send
We’re all individuals and different you see
What’s polite to you, may not seem it to me
One size won’t fit all, I know that it won’t
But I’ll certainly give you some do’s and some don’ts
If it sounds too generic well that’s just a waste
One message for all is a clear cut and paste
If it’s all about you and goes on for a while
Why don’t you just paste it on your profile
Age, height, location, yep, that all appears
You don’t have to add you can breath through your ears
A hundred line message and profile with one
May make some of us think that something is wrong
We just won’t believe it was written from scratch
Especially if the details about you don’t match
The stuff about you should be in the right place
And say if you have a pic of your face
Some will delete and others may mock
If you feel you must tell us the size of your cock
Say something simple and here is the gem
Something which shows it was written for them
Say something funny that may break the ice
And says more about you than “your pics look nice”
“I really like your profile” may not be a lie
But it sounds more appealing if you then explain why
Respect it’s a hobby and then respect that
We don’t all jump into bed at the drop of a hat
Sex may be the outcome, what we’re here to find
But most like to meet those with an open mind
Sometimes without knowing, something peeps through
A comment implying you’ve judged what we do
We won’t be impressed if you think it’s all seedy
Nor if you moan and complain or sound a bit needy
So write something new and your haste please refrain
Before clicking and sending just read it again.
If you rewrite your message, will you have better luck
It’s highly unlikely, you’re ugly as fuck.
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i'm not from skegness but your post was sublime
especially as you managed to write it in rhyme
the tips you provided i will take on board
and hopefully my mails will not be ignored
but i would like to say its all down to luck
as alas i admit i'm as ugly as fuck
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