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Is it wrong?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am a happily married male, married to a beautiful woman that I love dearly. Three years ago she was involved in an accident which left her severely disabled. Now, for obvious reasons, we do not have the normal life we used to enjoy, and our sex life is non existent. I still have an enormous sex drive but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea, but is happy for me to go it alone. The question is, although I have my wifes blessing, should I carry on seeking sex with others?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a happily married male, married to a beautiful woman that I love dearly. Three years ago she was involved in an accident which left her severely disabled. Now, for obvious reasons, we do not have the normal life we used to enjoy, and our sex life is non existent. I still have an enormous sex drive but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea, but is happy for me to go it alone. The question is, although I have my wifes blessing, should I carry on seeking sex with others?"

So you are unsure of the answer from discussing it 'openly' with your wife...so you've decided to 'get permission' from total strangers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sounds like you've answered the question already

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your open with her about your needs and she is ok with it YES ..... Just reading this letter you come across as a nice caring man. You have your needs too and you have one life so make the most of it and dont look back and think if only ..... End of the day you have to be true to yourself and if you can do that with out hurting others yes its fine x It cant be easy for you or your wife at times but one thing you have together is love x kisses xxxx jo

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

If your wife genuinely is OK with you seeking sex, then I guess it's OK to carry on with a clear concience.

Just have to ask yourself though... She may well have said yes and outwardly she may look OK with it, but what about the torment inside? How would you feel if the rolls were reversed and she asked you if it was OK to get sex elsewhere?

I would suspect that if she loves you as much as you intimate, she may have said yes to please you, but doesn't mean she is not wracked by pain and jealousy when you go out!

I would say that if my wife was in that bad a way, I certainly wouldn't be looking for outside sex!

(jus sayin!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Asking for advice on here is leaving yourself way open to accusations of cheating etc. especially since your wife is disabled.

Only you know what your life is like and until a person has walked a mile in your shoes they can't possibly condemn you for still wanting what you once had.

If you do decide to go down the road of extra-marital sex, with or without your wife's blessing, it will have ramifications later on but nobody can possibly know what they will be and you'll just have to cross that bridge when you come to it. If you don't find sex elsewhere and continue to lead a non-existent sex life, that too will eventually come to a head later on and a decision will face you then.

I don't envy you in your dilemma, you're going to be hung if you do, and hung if you don't.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"until a person has walked a mile in your shoes they can't possibly condemn you for still wanting what you once had."

Unfortunately, that rarely stops them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In some ways it would have been better if you had gone behind her back and said nothing.

How will she feel now, made severely disabled and now her husband goes and has sex with strangers.Bet she feels really wanted.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"I am a happily married male, married to a beautiful woman that I love dearly. Three years ago she was involved in an accident which left her severely disabled. Now, for obvious reasons, we do not have the normal life we used to enjoy, and our sex life is non existent. I still have an enormous sex drive but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea, but is happy for me to go it alone. The question is, although I have my wifes blessing, should I carry on seeking sex with others?

So you are unsure of the answer from discussing it 'openly' with your wife...so you've decided to 'get permission' from total strangers? "

i've been watching your posts over the last few weeks - do you hate everyone on here?? seems you have a never ending need to shoot down OP's

OP - like some have said on here your situation is your situation. no one can truely give you the answers you need. i presume you have discussed this at length with your partner and it is great that she has given you permission but you also have to give yourself permission.

are you asking this question because you are feeling guilty over seeing other women?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In some ways it would have been better if you had gone behind her back and said nothing.

How will she feel now, made severely disabled and now her husband goes and has sex with strangers.Bet she feels really wanted. "

what a strange statement from a "swinger". Would have thought most of us could understand the difference between love and sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its a tough one . Have to say if i were the lady in question (the wife) i would probably perfer you to seek the services of an escort or a prostitute , and not someone you might go on to have feelings for .However, having lived in a sexless marriage myself for decades , i can understand your issue. I am now divorced .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In some ways it would have been better if you had gone behind her back and said nothing.

How will she feel now, made severely disabled and now her husband goes and has sex with strangers.Bet she feels really wanted. "
I have come across this in swinging before couples just like this ...... and thay was fine.... and happy there partner was getting what thay needed as thay new thay loved them .. If your strong together as a couple even if your disabled should be no diffrent too other people who swing apart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a happily married male, married to a beautiful woman that I love dearly. Three years ago she was involved in an accident which left her severely disabled. Now, for obvious reasons, we do not have the normal life we used to enjoy, and our sex life is non existent. I still have an enormous sex drive but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea, but is happy for me to go it alone. The question is, although I have my wifes blessing, should I carry on seeking sex with others?

So you are unsure of the answer from discussing it 'openly' with your wife...so you've decided to 'get permission' from total strangers?

i've been watching your posts over the last few weeks - do you hate everyone on here?? seems you have a never ending need to shoot down OP's

OP - like some have said on here your situation is your situation. no one can truely give you the answers you need. i presume you have discussed this at length with your partner and it is great that she has given you permission but you also have to give yourself permission.

are you asking this question because you are feeling guilty over seeing other women?"

It's so sweet that you make a statement like that then go on to agree with what I said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does it appear some people are crucified coming on here looking for advice....

Sometimes people find it hard to talk ...it might be they don`t have a confidant ?

Talking with strangers can be beneficial, because they aren`t emotionally attached to the situation ...adds a perspective surely ...

Which is all some are asking for ...opinions ?..hopefully honestly given, without posting for effect ....

I`ve had situations where opening a situation in my life upto others has given me perspectives I wouldn`t of thought about, left to me and myself ....

In answer I dunno ....I`d feel guilty ..probally irrationally so, if you say shes ok with it, and if shes sees it just as fun !!!But there must be a part of her that worries you`ll leave else ? ....but its hard to say, only you know the reality ....and vibe ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It's so sweet that you make a statement like that then go on to agree with what I said "
Stop it ........ be asked people here somthing and dont need this x be good

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We had experience in the swing scene b4 we had kids, so having sex with others and together was never an issue before and that is why I have used this site's forum to discuss this. I know physically and emotionally she is in pain but she insists I carry on.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"I am a happily married male, married to a beautiful woman that I love dearly. Three years ago she was involved in an accident which left her severely disabled. Now, for obvious reasons, we do not have the normal life we used to enjoy, and our sex life is non existent. I still have an enormous sex drive but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea, but is happy for me to go it alone. The question is, although I have my wifes blessing, should I carry on seeking sex with others?

So you are unsure of the answer from discussing it 'openly' with your wife...so you've decided to 'get permission' from total strangers?

i've been watching your posts over the last few weeks - do you hate everyone on here?? seems you have a never ending need to shoot down OP's

OP - like some have said on here your situation is your situation. no one can truely give you the answers you need. i presume you have discussed this at length with your partner and it is great that she has given you permission but you also have to give yourself permission.

are you asking this question because you are feeling guilty over seeing other women?

It's so sweet that you make a statement like that then go on to agree with what I said "

how did i agree?? i said i presume he has spoken with his wife about it and then offered my point of view on the situation.

you were saracstic with your inverted comma's suggesting he as asking for permission rather than for a discussion on what is a very difficult situation

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Wise words wishy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a happily married male, married to a beautiful woman that I love dearly. Three years ago she was involved in an accident which left her severely disabled. Now, for obvious reasons, we do not have the normal life we used to enjoy, and our sex life is non existent. I still have an enormous sex drive but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea, but is happy for me to go it alone. The question is, although I have my wifes blessing, should I carry on seeking sex with others?

So you are unsure of the answer from discussing it 'openly' with your wife...so you've decided to 'get permission' from total strangers?

i've been watching your posts over the last few weeks - do you hate everyone on here?? seems you have a never ending need to shoot down OP's

OP - like some have said on here your situation is your situation. no one can truely give you the answers you need. i presume you have discussed this at length with your partner and it is great that she has given you permission but you also have to give yourself permission.

are you asking this question because you are feeling guilty over seeing other women?

It's so sweet that you make a statement like that then go on to agree with what I said

how did i agree?? i said i presume he has spoken with his wife about it and then offered my point of view on the situation.

you were saracstic with your inverted comma's suggesting he as asking for permission rather than for a discussion on what is a very difficult situation"

Substantially because we are both clear it is HIS decision to make.I find it a little ridiculous that it is dressed up as something other than it is.

It's good though that you recognise we ar ALL allowed to offer our own opinions on anything in a forum!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"I am a happily married male, married to a beautiful woman that I love dearly. Three years ago she was involved in an accident which left her severely disabled. Now, for obvious reasons, we do not have the normal life we used to enjoy, and our sex life is non existent. I still have an enormous sex drive but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea, but is happy for me to go it alone. The question is, although I have my wifes blessing, should I carry on seeking sex with others?

So you are unsure of the answer from discussing it 'openly' with your wife...so you've decided to 'get permission' from total strangers?

i've been watching your posts over the last few weeks - do you hate everyone on here?? seems you have a never ending need to shoot down OP's

OP - like some have said on here your situation is your situation. no one can truely give you the answers you need. i presume you have discussed this at length with your partner and it is great that she has given you permission but you also have to give yourself permission.

are you asking this question because you are feeling guilty over seeing other women?

It's so sweet that you make a statement like that then go on to agree with what I said

how did i agree?? i said i presume he has spoken with his wife about it and then offered my point of view on the situation.

you were saracstic with your inverted comma's suggesting he as asking for permission rather than for a discussion on what is a very difficult situation

Substantially because we are both clear it is HIS decision to make.I find it a little ridiculous that it is dressed up as something other than it is.

It's good though that you recognise we ar ALL allowed to offer our own opinions on anything in a forum! "

because someties we need reassurances from other people, because sometimes we need to discuss differing opinions on the matter

everything we do is OUR decision but do we always make our decisions on our own?

and opinions are always welcome on here, sarcastic digs at OP's not so much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a happily married male, married to a beautiful woman that I love dearly. Three years ago she was involved in an accident which left her severely disabled. Now, for obvious reasons, we do not have the normal life we used to enjoy, and our sex life is non existent. I still have an enormous sex drive but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea, but is happy for me to go it alone. The question is, although I have my wifes blessing, should I carry on seeking sex with others?

So you are unsure of the answer from discussing it 'openly' with your wife...so you've decided to 'get permission' from total strangers?

i've been watching your posts over the last few weeks - do you hate everyone on here?? seems you have a never ending need to shoot down OP's

OP - like some have said on here your situation is your situation. no one can truely give you the answers you need. i presume you have discussed this at length with your partner and it is great that she has given you permission but you also have to give yourself permission.

are you asking this question because you are feeling guilty over seeing other women?

It's so sweet that you make a statement like that then go on to agree with what I said

how did i agree?? i said i presume he has spoken with his wife about it and then offered my point of view on the situation.

you were saracstic with your inverted comma's suggesting he as asking for permission rather than for a discussion on what is a very difficult situation

Substantially because we are both clear it is HIS decision to make.I find it a little ridiculous that it is dressed up as something other than it is.

It's good though that you recognise we ar ALL allowed to offer our own opinions on anything in a forum! "

Is it me ???

I read the op`s post as looking for perspectives that would allow him to make an informed choice .......

You have used the word permission ....

Sucks methinks ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In some ways it would have been better if you had gone behind her back and said nothing.

How will she feel now, made severely disabled and now her husband goes and has sex with strangers.Bet she feels really wanted. "

It's easy to judge when it isn't you in an impossible situation.

My wife's sex drive fell through the floor after the birth of our son two years ago and still hasn't recovered to what it once was. She felt so guilty about depriving me of a sex life that she suggested I found a regular playmate. I didn't because that's not the pact we made when we got together, and the vows we made when we married. It didn't stop her feeling guilty though. She felt that she had let me down. (Now you know the real reason we stopped swinging).

The OP's wife must be going through that same sort of guilt and even though it isn't her fault that she's like she is now, it doesn't stop the guilt. Yes, there's a real risk it may turn into resentment later on but that's between the two of them and only they know if that risk is a big risk or a small one and worth it if it means they stay together. He clearly loves her and I'm sure his own guilt at looking for sex outside the marriage will have an influence on whether he decides to pursue it or not.

My instincts are to advise him to tough it out a while longer and he'll probably find the decision will make itself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good Lord...do me a favour.Read his profile...he has ALREADY made his decision!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good Lord...do me a favour.Read his profile...he has ALREADY made his decision! "

And is questioning it possibly?

I ain`t looked at his profile btw ...

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I am a happily married male, married to a beautiful woman that I love dearly. Three years ago she was involved in an accident which left her severely disabled. Now, for obvious reasons, we do not have the normal life we used to enjoy, and our sex life is non existent. I still have an enormous sex drive but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea, but is happy for me to go it alone. The question is, although I have my wifes blessing, should I carry on seeking sex with others?"

I don't think its wrong. I think it's a fairly practical view. Putting myself in your situation (which is difficult I realise) but I'd like to think that I'd still want my partner to fulfil his needs and if I couldn't do it with him then I'd want him to find someone who can. I quite like the escort idea, from an emotional point of view that wouldn't worry me as much as him forming a one to one relationship with someone else.

You can't help falling for someone and whilst I appreciate you love your wife, when something so basic is missing then you wouldn't be human if you didn't even think about finding it elsewhere. How you go about it is a different kettle of fish altogether.

I hope you work it out and there's nothing wrong with asking total strangers for an opinion... I do it all the time. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good Lord...do me a favour.Read his profile...he has ALREADY made his decision!

And is questioning it possibly?

I ain`t looked at his profile btw ..."

Yeh well...there you go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now now children, calm down. Honestly, can we get back to the matter in hand rather than taking over someone elses thread?!

To the OP: If you are uncomfortable with this to the point where you have to ask an opinion then no ammount of talking with your wife will resolve it. The issue is in your own head. Only you can say whether the sexual gratification out weighs they guilt or bad feelings you have. Its a chicken/egg situation, but although we can offer advice till we're blue in the face only you know whats right for you and your wife.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good Lord...do me a favour.Read his profile...he has ALREADY made his decision! "

Yes but if you read the last line of his op he asks if he should CARRY ON seeking sex with others not start seeking sex with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do think you are brave for posting this on here, as you are likely to get some abuse from a small number of people.

I can understand you asking if it is right or wrong, but at the end of the day, it is you and your wife who have to deal with this issue. If your bond is as strong as you say, and you can keep it to "just sex" then go for it.

Only you can say wether it is the right thing to do, the guilt issue is bound to be a hard mountain to climd,but i am sure what ever you decide you will have your wifes full support, I wish you all the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In some ways it would have been better if you had gone behind her back and said nothing.

How will she feel now, made severely disabled and now her husband goes and has sex with strangers.Bet she feels really wanted. "
That would hurt her more if she found out and was behind her back ... he is being a caring open truthfull man . When you know about things thay dont hurt half as much as if you found out and behind your back as you can get use to things over time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good Lord...do me a favour.Read his profile...he has ALREADY made his decision!

And is questioning it possibly?

I ain`t looked at his profile btw ...

Yeh well...there you go"

You`ve no argument as far as I can see ....He may well have seen peeps, but is in an emotional hinterland, and has come here to see if he can sort it out ?....Its possible methinks ....

Some outstanding responses on here ...well said and articulated...Wishy esp...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For the Op. As you state you and your wife have previous experience of the swinging lifestyle I am assuming that she is well aware of how it works. People meet have fun and are aware that that is all that it is for.

I would have thought that as long as she is aware and you are honest that this is a much better way of having your physical needs met than running the risk of you having an affair and developing feelings for someone else. Which is far mor likely when dealing with people from the vanilla world.

They are both probably feeling guilty. Him for wanting to fulfill his needs and her for not being able to. It may be that she feels this is a way for her to show him she loves him as she can no longer do it herself. And also again less risky than him meeting someone and having an illicit affair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually, I was feeling all sorry for him and how he felt guilty and was worried about his wife. But then I read his profile and saw the advertised meets he has up. Now I'm thinking he's not quite as guilt ridden as I first thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I comment on these posts from what I see evidentially.It's amazing, to me, that so many people are prepared to have so much faith in what people SAY. Is everyone so happy to believe everything that someone tells them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Actually, I was feeling all sorry for him and how he felt guilty and was worried about his wife. But then I read his profile and saw the advertised meets he has up. Now I'm thinking he's not quite as guilt ridden as I first thought. "
He is human like the rest of us ...and has needs and yes he has a feedback so make have made him feel gilty. So he is chating here. myself i think he is brave putting this in open forum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If what you say is true then it is okay, I know a Couple in the same position, he is disabled and she seeks Sexual satisfaction from others away from the Home.

He is fine with it as she only see's 2 other Men and not that often, so if everyone involved is happy then go for it, only you and your Wife know what emotional difficulties it could bring to each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I comment on these posts from what I see evidentially.It's amazing, to me, that so many people are prepared to have so much faith in what people SAY. Is everyone so happy to believe everything that someone tells them "
We do as its nice to see the good in people before you see the bad. With out knowing everything you can only go on what people say .... I am truthfull so i think others here are too. like to think positive.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I comment on these posts from what I see evidentially.It's amazing, to me, that so many people are prepared to have so much faith in what people SAY. Is everyone so happy to believe everything that someone tells them "

Nope... but I'm happy giving the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. If someone asks a question, I tend to take it at face value.

It's mostly in keeping with my quest not to become too cynical.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I comment on these posts from what I see evidentially.It's amazing, to me, that so many people are prepared to have so much faith in what people SAY. Is everyone so happy to believe everything that someone tells them

Nope... but I'm happy giving the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. If someone asks a question, I tend to take it at face value.

It's mostly in keeping with my quest not to become too cynical. "

Bless you innocent child

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I comment on these posts from what I see evidentially.It's amazing, to me, that so many people are prepared to have so much faith in what people SAY. Is everyone so happy to believe everything that someone tells them

Nope... but I'm happy giving the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. If someone asks a question, I tend to take it at face value.

It's mostly in keeping with my quest not to become too cynical.

Bless you innocent child "

Don't be fooled by her 'sweet &innocent'

schtick.

I met her once.

She cuffed me to the bed for a bit of 'kink'

Then nicked my telly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I comment on these posts from what I see evidentially.It's amazing, to me, that so many people are prepared to have so much faith in what people SAY. Is everyone so happy to believe everything that someone tells them

Nope... but I'm happy giving the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. If someone asks a question, I tend to take it at face value.

It's mostly in keeping with my quest not to become too cynical.

Bless you innocent child

Don't be fooled by her 'sweet &innocent'

schtick.

I met her once.

She cuffed me to the bed for a bit of 'kink'

Then nicked my telly."
wow how lovely xxxxx i hope you said thankyou , lol xxxx

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"I comment on these posts from what I see evidentially.It's amazing, to me, that so many people are prepared to have so much faith in what people SAY. Is everyone so happy to believe everything that someone tells them

Nope... but I'm happy giving the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. If someone asks a question, I tend to take it at face value.

It's mostly in keeping with my quest not to become too cynical.

Bless you innocent child

Don't be fooled by her 'sweet &innocent'

schtick.

I met her once.

She cuffed me to the bed for a bit of 'kink'

Then nicked my telly."

serves you right for leting strange latex clad women into your home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I comment on these posts from what I see evidentially.It's amazing, to me, that so many people are prepared to have so much faith in what people SAY. Is everyone so happy to believe everything that someone tells them "
The question was "should I carry on", it could be a as simple as he is having second thoughts or doubts, as a married man myself, I have moments where I think what am I doing, he has been honest and open about his situation, yes he has meeting requests on his profile, all that means is he is available on those dates, yes he has a verification, but again this could be why he is questioning what he is doing.

Sadly there will be a few people on here who will see it as an "oh look at me, don't you feel sorry for me and will you fuck me out of sympathy" post.

As we don't him or his wife personally, it is not for us to judge the morality of what he is doing or the validaty of his post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are right that we don't know him or his wife personally...THAT is exactly my point.Then, surely, to suggest that it is open and honest (not that I suggest it is or it isn't) is an assumption based on nothing?

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I comment on these posts from what I see evidentially.It's amazing, to me, that so many people are prepared to have so much faith in what people SAY. Is everyone so happy to believe everything that someone tells them

Nope... but I'm happy giving the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. If someone asks a question, I tend to take it at face value.

It's mostly in keeping with my quest not to become too cynical.

Bless you innocent child

Don't be fooled by her 'sweet &innocent'

schtick.

I met her once.

She cuffed me to the bed for a bit of 'kink'

Then nicked my telly.

serves you right for leting strange latex clad women into your home "

Oi!! That's leather lovely!!

And the telly was shite... maybe I should have stayed for the sex!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You are right that we don't know him or his wife personally...THAT is exactly my point.Then, surely, to suggest that it is open and honest (not that I suggest it is or it isn't) is an assumption based on nothing?"
It is even simpler than that, if you want to break it don to basics, as a MARRIED MAN he is asking if it is right or wrong for him to have sex with another woman, in reality it is HIS choice and HIS decision.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means aren't we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means aren't we?"
oo bertie, that sounds like a cope out my friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means aren't we?oo bertie, that sounds like a cope out my friend. "

I assume you mean 'cop out'...but if you'd care to explain why you think it is I'm happy to explain to you why it's not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a happily married male, married to a beautiful woman that I love dearly. Three years ago she was involved in an accident which left her severely disabled. Now, for obvious reasons, we do not have the normal life we used to enjoy, and our sex life is non existent. I still have an enormous sex drive but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea, but is happy for me to go it alone. The question is, although I have my wifes blessing, should I carry on seeking sex with others?"

It is something for you and your wife to discuss. If she is really happy with it then why not. If she is ok just to keep you maybe not. Only you and her will know how she really feels.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means aren't we?oo bertie, that sounds like a cope out my friend.

I assume you mean 'cop out'...but if you'd care to explain why you think it is I'm happy to explain to you why it's not. "
Sorry for the typo.

And I will reply as one yorkshire man to another. Yes we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means, howerver the question was not on the morality of what he is or wants to do, or the fact that he has posted his situation in an open forum, it was is he right or wrong. In all your posts on this thread, you have not once answered the base question.

In truth no one on here can truly answer his question, constuctive adice can be given, suggestions made, experiences shared, none of which have been posted by yourself, and therefore I see your final respose as a cop out as you have not answered the origional post in any way shape or form.

If it was your intention to play Devils Advocate you have failed to offer a valid response to the post.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Nice one Ozzy!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Nice one Ozzy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means aren't we?oo bertie, that sounds like a cope out my friend.

I assume you mean 'cop out'...but if you'd care to explain why you think it is I'm happy to explain to you why it's not. Sorry for the typo.

And I will reply as one yorkshire man to another. Yes we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means, howerver the question was not on the morality of what he is or wants to do, or the fact that he has posted his situation in an open forum, it was is he right or wrong. In all your posts on this thread, you have not once answered the base question.

In truth no one on here can truly answer his question, constuctive adice can be given, suggestions made, experiences shared, none of which have been posted by yourself, and therefore I see your final respose as a cop out as you have not answered the origional post in any way shape or form.

If it was your intention to play Devils Advocate you have failed to offer a valid response to the post."

If its right or wrong he's after I can do that. Wrong.

As are men that play without their wife's knowledge. Wrong wrong wrong.

Simples.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I for one would not like to be in the OPs shoes for a million smackeroos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means aren't we?oo bertie, that sounds like a cope out my friend.

I assume you mean 'cop out'...but if you'd care to explain why you think it is I'm happy to explain to you why it's not. Sorry for the typo.

And I will reply as one yorkshire man to another. Yes we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means, howerver the question was not on the morality of what he is or wants to do, or the fact that he has posted his situation in an open forum, it was is he right or wrong. In all your posts on this thread, you have not once answered the base question.

In truth no one on here can truly answer his question, constuctive adice can be given, suggestions made, experiences shared, none of which have been posted by yourself, and therefore I see your final respose as a cop out as you have not answered the origional post in any way shape or form.

If it was your intention to play Devils Advocate you have failed to offer a valid response to the post."

Thank you...however I will say...and not specifically on this thread but as a general view.I do not and will not, always, presume that what is written in any thread is 'gospel'...it appears that some do.I can only react to what I know...and what I know is the evidence before me...nothing more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means aren't we?oo bertie, that sounds like a cope out my friend.

I assume you mean 'cop out'...but if you'd care to explain why you think it is I'm happy to explain to you why it's not. Sorry for the typo.

And I will reply as one yorkshire man to another. Yes we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means, howerver the question was not on the morality of what he is or wants to do, or the fact that he has posted his situation in an open forum, it was is he right or wrong. In all your posts on this thread, you have not once answered the base question.

In truth no one on here can truly answer his question, constuctive adice can be given, suggestions made, experiences shared, none of which have been posted by yourself, and therefore I see your final respose as a cop out as you have not answered the origional post in any way shape or form.

If it was your intention to play Devils Advocate you have failed to offer a valid response to the post.

Thank you...however I will say...and not specifically on this thread but as a general view.I do not and will not, always, presume that what is written in any thread is 'gospel'...it appears that some do.I can only react to what I know...and what I know is the evidence before me...nothing more."
Before you here today on this post was a man feeling gilty about doing this with his wife not well .... and she will never be well .... and he is left thinking is this right or wronge even with her knowing. ........ he was brave for wrighting this here today.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your profile pic is wrong!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means aren't we?oo bertie, that sounds like a cope out my friend.

I assume you mean 'cop out'...but if you'd care to explain why you think it is I'm happy to explain to you why it's not. Sorry for the typo.

And I will reply as one yorkshire man to another. Yes we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means, howerver the question was not on the morality of what he is or wants to do, or the fact that he has posted his situation in an open forum, it was is he right or wrong. In all your posts on this thread, you have not once answered the base question.

In truth no one on here can truly answer his question, constuctive adice can be given, suggestions made, experiences shared, none of which have been posted by yourself, and therefore I see your final respose as a cop out as you have not answered the origional post in any way shape or form.

If it was your intention to play Devils Advocate you have failed to offer a valid response to the post.

Thank you...however I will say...and not specifically on this thread but as a general view.I do not and will not, always, presume that what is written in any thread is 'gospel'...it appears that some do.I can only react to what I know...and what I know is the evidence before me...nothing more.Before you here today on this post was a man feeling gilty about doing this with his wife not well .... and she will never be well .... and he is left thinking is this right or wronge even with her knowing. ........ he was brave for wrighting this here today."

You have illustrated my point beautifully...how do you KNOW that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means aren't we?oo bertie, that sounds like a cope out my friend.

I assume you mean 'cop out'...but if you'd care to explain why you think it is I'm happy to explain to you why it's not. Sorry for the typo.

And I will reply as one yorkshire man to another. Yes we are all entitled to a view on what the OP means, howerver the question was not on the morality of what he is or wants to do, or the fact that he has posted his situation in an open forum, it was is he right or wrong. In all your posts on this thread, you have not once answered the base question.

In truth no one on here can truly answer his question, constuctive adice can be given, suggestions made, experiences shared, none of which have been posted by yourself, and therefore I see your final respose as a cop out as you have not answered the origional post in any way shape or form.

If it was your intention to play Devils Advocate you have failed to offer a valid response to the post.

Thank you...however I will say...and not specifically on this thread but as a general view.I do not and will not, always, presume that what is written in any thread is 'gospel'...it appears that some do.I can only react to what I know...and what I know is the evidence before me...nothing more.Before you here today on this post was a man feeling gilty about doing this with his wife not well .... and she will never be well .... and he is left thinking is this right or wronge even with her knowing. ........ he was brave for wrighting this here today.

You have illustrated my point beautifully...how do you KNOW that? "
because i know him xx a little not for sex .. he is ok.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"I comment on these posts from what I see evidentially.It's amazing, to me, that so many people are prepared to have so much faith in what people SAY. Is everyone so happy to believe everything that someone tells them

Nope... but I'm happy giving the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. If someone asks a question, I tend to take it at face value.

It's mostly in keeping with my quest not to become too cynical.

Bless you innocent child

Don't be fooled by her 'sweet &innocent'

schtick.

I met her once.

She cuffed me to the bed for a bit of 'kink'

Then nicked my telly.

serves you right for leting strange latex clad women into your home

Oi!! That's leather lovely!!

And the telly was shite... maybe I should have stayed for the sex! "

well that serves you right for going to Sensy's house and stealing his shit

and i do apologise for the mix up - will have to have a closer look next time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not missing the point at all just answering the OP's question. All of us would be very daft if we took everything on this forum at face value and from reading the forums this is not the case. However, some of us like to give contructive and non judgemental replies and choose to see the best in people. Glass half full rather than half empty.

I am one of life's cynics but do not feel the need to project my cynicism on to others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will support the OP. He as openly discussed this with his wife and he as her blessing,like I do with my partner.

We used to swing together but due to a longterm illness he does not wanting to as much,but he encourages me to do so and when hes fighting fit he will be back with me on the swinging scene,its how we met and we love it. So if the OP as her blessing and she knows the scene then go for it. I hope it all works out and never feel guilty,she won't make you feel guilty and don't let anyone make you feel bad,what happens in your relationship is your business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What i find difficult to understand is that nowhere on your profile does it say that you are married, when do you drop that bombshell on people or dont you bother?

If you are upfront with people, how do you confirm that your wife is happy with the situation or are they stupid enough to believe you and take it at face value?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What the OP puts on his profile is his buisness not mine or yours if he doesn't want to put his status up that's his concern not ours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite right however as i peruse this website, every now and again someone catches my eye and i send them a message, as i am interested in single guys which he isnt, i would rather it said on his profile that way i wouldnt waste my time sending a message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Quite right however as i peruse this website, every now and again someone catches my eye and i send them a message, as i am interested in single guys which he isnt, i would rather it said on his profile that way i wouldnt waste my time sending a message"

I have read his profile - and although it isnt higlighted - it does say that he is "attached"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Quite right however as i peruse this website, every now and again someone catches my eye and i send them a message, as i am interested in single guys which he isnt, i would rather it said on his profile that way i wouldnt waste my time sending a message

I have read his profile - and although it isnt higlighted - it does say that he is "attached""

Well i missed that but then was too busy reading the story

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a happily married male, married to a beautiful woman that I love dearly. Three years ago she was involved in an accident which left her severely disabled. Now, for obvious reasons, we do not have the normal life we used to enjoy, and our sex life is non existent. I still have an enormous sex drive but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea, but is happy for me to go it alone. The question is, although I have my wifes blessing, should I carry on seeking sex with others?"

If it were me i'd prefer a prostitute/escort like has already been mentioned. No room for emotions or a relationship, even if it is just a friendship-that would be a step too far for me, and might be for your wife..

Also, make sure your wife is saying yes to you having sex with other people for the right reasons, not because she feels guilty about the effect her disability has on your relationship (i hope that came across right)

Also, when did the accident happen? Plenty of people on here with a leg or more missing and having a full enjoyable sex life...maybe she could chat to someone in a similar position, may help her come to terms with having sex after the accident.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The OP has posted that is wife is physically and emotionally in pain, but it hasn't stopped him calling himself pussylicka and having a whale of a time on site.

Actions speak louder than words to me, and from my cynical viewpoint this thread is nothing more than attention seeking to drum up more sympathy for him!

Everyone is different: look how Wishy has handled his situation. Siren is a very lucky woman and I wish you both well. I know who I'd prefer as a husband!

And before you bleeding hearts start, you can look at the OP through rose tinted glasses all you want: I've never owned a pair!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

"The OP has posted that is wife is physically and emotionally in pain, but it hasn't stopped him calling himself pussylicka and having a whale of a time on site"

Never have I stated that my wife is in emotional or physical pain. We also BOTH enjoy the site, although my wifes participation is limited. She chooses people, I might like and asks me to message certain people on her behalf. My I'd name was also chosen by her, for reason I won't go into. We both used to swing back in notts but since our life has change she has chosen not to carry it on. Hey I'm not here to attack anyone, I thought this was a site of friends that can share opinionsn not attack each other. SYMPATHY! Nawwww just understanding.

One question. If you loved your partner but the could never have sex with you ever again, would you live a celibate life or leave them or what? Xxxxx have a nice day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would i live a celibate life if partner could not have sex with me ....... No... I would wish to have sex untill i Cant no longer. I feel its a normal thing to do. We are all human with needs ... some need sex some dont.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If my wife was disabled I wouldn't be on here I'd be looking after her I don't agree with what your doing, didn't your vows mean nowt to you in sickness and in health I feel sorry for your wife she prob nows nohing about any of this such bullshit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""The OP has posted that is wife is physically and emotionally in pain, but it hasn't stopped him calling himself pussylicka and having a whale of a time on site"

Never have I stated that my wife is in emotional or physical pain. We also BOTH enjoy the site, although my wifes participation is limited. She chooses people, I might like and asks me to message certain people on her behalf. My I'd name was also chosen by her, for reason I won't go into. We both used to swing back in notts but since our life has change she has chosen not to carry it on. Hey I'm not here to attack anyone, I thought this was a site of friends that can share opinionsn not attack each other. SYMPATHY! Nawwww just understanding.

One question. If you loved your partner but the could never have sex with you ever again, would you live a celibate life or leave them or what? Xxxxx have a nice day "

i hate to say it but you didnt say that you were both on here, perhaps next time you might want to put the whole story instead of missing out the most important part

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If his wifes on here why she not on his profile his wife knows nowt about it she's ill at home why he gets his way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If his wifes on here why she not on his profile his wife knows nowt about it she's ill at home why he gets his way"
I some how dont think a person would make up a story like this.Come across all sorts of people in my time and i know people who swing that are like him i know 5 couples its not as rear as you may think , people swing apart and it can help make them stronger ... because thay have a rest from it all. May not be how you would handle things yourself but no ones the same people have diffrent needs,

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

It never ceases to amaze me when people ask a question on a forum it always gets around to cheating/a relate session or just downright rudeness.

I have taken so many posts off here it must be a record for any that end up about married men ( note I said men, as women don't get as much flack )and what they do.......if gays/bi sexuals got attacked as often there would be an uproar.

Until married men or women are not allowed on the site by Admin then they are protected by the same rules.

I can't keep reminding people that respecting other users is a requirement to being able to carry on posting.

STOP attacking people because of their marital status.

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