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Single mum and 10 year old son

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Ok. My son is almost 10 and it slowly becomming a little shit,no sorry mistype there, he is becoming a young man.

I am on my own and he does see his dad on a monthly basis for a weekend/overnight.

I am unsure to be honest how to move forward with a son of his age when it comes to talking with him about the fact that in a morning his willy sticks up and discussions on how to keep it clean and discussions on sex.

I so far have said that in a morning most boys and mens willys will stick up as its the blood waking up in his willy and sticking up. If he ignores it it will go down and be back to normal.

We have chatted about sex as best as i think is age appropriate and think I am doing well on that one.

My dad is local to me and has in the past spoken with him about cleaning it etc but is a conversation his dad is a better person to have ot with.

Unfortunately his dad isnt a man who is open and can discuss things like this and is generally pretty usless regarding his sons and not that much help or interested.

I am going to speak with him to ask for his assistance but wont hold my breathj.

So does anyone have any tips for me about dealing with a son of this age as its all new to me and I really want to make sure I move forward in the right way.

I dont have a regular boyfriend nor a none regular one as I swing instead. I would love to meet the special one but a regular special man isnt on the cards and dont expect it will be.

We are able to chat very easily as have had to in the past number of years since his dad left. Unfortunately due to our split some years ago the relationship with his dad is a very difficult one and neither will open up to the other one.

So please anyone that can offer some helpful advice or suggestions as I really want him to turn into a nice young man but am aware it isnt going to be easy.

Thanks in anticipation x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if you can chat easily then tell him to ask YOU if he has any questions.It's best, I would have thought, to be honest too...and if you don't know the answer say so and tell him you will find out.

He is ten and really shouldn't be getting told something such as 'It's the blood waking up his willy'

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

It sounds as though you're doing a great job as it is by being able to have discussions with him

My chidren were both easy to talk to about bodies and sex and this was backed up by some age relevant books as well

I had a great one for boys...something along the lines of "boys and their willies?" my boy is 16 now so it was awhile ago, it was really informative and funny enough for a boy of about 10 to want to read

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Honey i will do some searching for that and feel an embarrasment at the library coming on but will do some searching.

Bertie, what do you suggest I say to him when he asks why his will is sticking up? As far as i know boys/men get this in a morning and it will stick up if they play with it. Isnt it blood rushing to it which causes to do it??

If not then please inform me of the correct reason it sticks up as I do/did think it is blood rushing to the area that causes it to stick up???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Generally the reason is because of a full bladder...it's pressure on the prostate that stiimulates blood flow.

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Thanks Bertie I will tell him that. As I dont have one I thought it was blood rushing to it but pleased you have corrected me. So I am assuming that when they play with it and it become erect that that is when blood rushes to it as your stimulating in the same way a ladies bits become flushed too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It IS blood flow but stimulated physically than mentally.Some young kids might just worry if they think it's always sexual.It would be difficult for some young lads to think that they are 'sex obsessed' and discuss it with their mothers...that's all I meant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you thought of asking the health visitor at your doctors surgery? There must be 100s of women in your situation they are probably leaflets about all you need to know.

Good luck x

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn


"It IS blood flow but stimulated physically than mentally.Some young kids might just worry if they think it's always sexual.It would be difficult for some young lads to think that they are 'sex obsessed' and discuss it with their mothers...that's all I meant."

He doesnt know that his willy does stuff that envolves sex as he is too young to understand that.

I was more interested in simple answers that I can give to him and thought that the blood in his willy was a nice simple explanation and would also cover when he starts saying that when he is excited it also sticks up.

Its so difficult to know what to say when I dont have a willy.

No doubt single dads would be in the same situation with a daughter.

Appreciate your help xx

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By *eppersCouple
over a year ago

telford

You can only be as honest as you possibly can, books are a great help,but if you have a good relationship with your son anyway it should be easy to discuss thse things with him and if he ask you a question you dont know the answer too just be honest and say you don't know ,but you will find out, chances are though he could tell you a thing or two, lol which is what my eldest son did to me hehe his mates where scouring the net.

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn


"Have you thought of asking the health visitor at your doctors surgery? There must be 100s of women in your situation they are probably leaflets about all you need to know.

Good luck x "

Damn good idea. Never thought about that. Will contact them

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

_eppers, he does ask a decent amount of questions hence why I try to answer them and so far he only uses the net to play games.

He asked me a few days ago what his balls were for? Why did he have them and what do they do. He has asked in the past about how babies are made(his dad had a baby recently with his girlfriend) but of course he asks me these questions and not his dad due to the relationship they have.

It pushes my knowledge of boys bits and what it bit does lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think at ten he is too young for the truth.Basic simple answers are enough though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a mum of boys myself firstly, don't underestimate what you're son knows about sex. Its rife in the playground and he'll have realised long ago that if he touches it a certain way it'll give a reaction. Its his body and he knows it better than anyone.

As for cleaning it, when he's in the bath or shower, call through the door 'wash your ears, neck & bits muck tub!'....why make a big deal over it? Just go with the flow.

As for him becoming 'a little shit' don't worry too much. Keep strong, follow through with consequences if he misbehaves and make sure he knows what the consequences are before he misbehaves. Therefore he has a choice. Bringing up children is as simple as you make it, but most of all, enjoy him finding his personality and guide him in the right direction. Routine routine routine is the key!

Sounds like he has a great mum that cares a lot so keep up the good work!

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

My lad is a lovely lad really and very emotionally aware. He isnt really a little shit of course as am very proud of him but is naturally pushing boundaries and boy does he get it in the neck if he steps too far over the line. Luckily I am an assertive person so doesnt get to swing the lead too far without consequences lol

He hasnt mentioned what he hears from school about sex but will keep a listen out for anything he says.

I will make sure I start reminding him to wash his bits and piences and see what he wants me to call it when reminding him to wash it. So far we just call it his willy or I often say bits and pieces.

Thanks for your suggestions xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With regards to his 'where do babies come from' and 'what are my balls for?' - you can answer both questions in one go for him.

Tell him that babies are made when the sperm from the man meets the egg in the woman (head off his immediate question after you say that by saying 'and you don't need to know how they meet right now').

Tell him sperm looks like little tadpoles.

Once he's got the idea of tadpoles and eggs in his head to make babies, you tell him that the tadpoles are made in his balls and without them he has no tadpoles, and that's why he has to look after them.

With regard to the morning erections, be honest with him. He'll appreciate it.

Tell him that a willy is used for more than just going for a pee and is also involved in making babies (but again, 'you don't need to know how right now'), and then follow it up with "and when you wake up and it's all stiff it's just your body testing it out to make sure it's working properly and it's nothing to worry about."

Now, once he's understood all that, it's still gonna happen - regularly, and when he eventually discovers the joys of playing with it for too long there is no way in this world you are ever going to stop him doing it. It's a part of life and when he does eventually ejaculate (if he hasn't already) he'll *know* what semen is and have an inkling of where it has to go to make babies.

That's when you tell him that he needs to be earning at least £20k per annum before he can make babies.

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

I've no suggestions to make, however, I just wanted to applaud you on being a great mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An entire answer in Wishy's post above, well done that man!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"With regards to his 'where do babies come from' and 'what are my balls for?' - you can answer both questions in one go for him.

Tell him that babies are made when the sperm from the man meets the egg in the woman (head off his immediate question after you say that by saying 'and you don't need to know how they meet right now').

Tell him sperm looks like little tadpoles.

Once he's got the idea of tadpoles and eggs in his head to make babies, you tell him that the tadpoles are made in his balls and without them he has no tadpoles, and that's why he has to look after them.

With regard to the morning erections, be honest with him. He'll appreciate it.

Tell him that a willy is used for more than just going for a pee and is also involved in making babies (but again, 'you don't need to know how right now'), and then follow it up with "and when you wake up and it's all stiff it's just your body testing it out to make sure it's working properly and it's nothing to worry about."

Now, once he's understood all that, it's still gonna happen - regularly, and when he eventually discovers the joys of playing with it for too long there is no way in this world you are ever going to stop him doing it. It's a part of life and when he does eventually ejaculate (if he hasn't already) he'll *know* what semen is and have an inkling of where it has to go to make babies.

That's when you tell him that he needs to be earning at least £20k per annum before he can make babies. "

Sounds like good advice to me...but I would say at least £50k

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Wishy thanks.

I have explained that the eggs inside a lady and the tadpoles in his balls get together and make a baby.

He did ask they get out of his balls and get into the egss and have said its is too complicated to expain to him yet but when he is a little older with more maturity and understanding i Will explain more to him about how.

So far i have got as far as that.

Love the idea of telling him its his bodies way of making sure his Willy is working.

Have already explained about a ladies womb and a period.

Which he understands well.

He is extreemly inquisitive and can imagine him being particularly good at science when he is older.

Ordered a book online about boys abduction their willes and off to health visitor soon to get some leaflets.

Am trying to be honest and not lie but he does seem to need to know more and more but try to keep it on a level for him.

Thanks so much everyone.

Not got any work done today but got loads of really good suggestions on this subject today.

You really are a Fab lot x

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By *unterslickCouple
over a year ago

tullamore

as a father of 3,oldest 12 this year,the best advice i can give you is go to your nearest bookshop and get a childs guide to puberty,,,

i have done this with my eldest lad and my niece,who is 13,talk with them first then have a quick look at the book with them,get them to write down any questions they may have and then you can ansewer to best of your ability and if you cant,you have the book

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a single mum whos son is now 13, Id just like to say the schools start sex education at the age of 9, so hes proberly got some idea.

Like you I had to ask my sons father to do a sex talk and the poor bugger came back more confused as ever so I just braved it and one night I did the whole chat.

And now anything going on he just comes out and asks so in a way it was best it came from me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a single mum whos son is now 13, Id just like to say the schools start sex education at the age of 9, so hes proberly got some idea.

Like you I had to ask my sons father to do a sex talk and the poor bugger came back more confused as ever so I just braved it and one night I did the whole chat.

And now anything going on he just comes out and asks so in a way it was best it came from me.

"

best way i suppose

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

I don't have any advice for you Fruit as my hubby covered all that with our own sons, but would like to say you seem to be doing a great job as a parent to this young man.

You should be proud of yourself, I should imagine it isn't easy having to cover both parent roles on a day to day basis.....so well done you!

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry


"as a father of 3,oldest 12 this year,the best advice i can give you is go to your nearest bookshop and get a childs guide to puberty,,,

i have done this with my eldest lad and my niece,who is 13,talk with them first then have a quick look at the book with them,get them to write down any questions they may have and then you can ansewer to best of your ability and if you cant,you have the book"

do the tadpoles turn into frogs or toads ??...

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry

oh and to b serious u aint doing anything wrong xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a lad of 9, I told him when he was 7 if he didn't wash his worm right it might go mouldy and drop of.. It did the trick

As for anything else, I just tell him the truth but in a clean way.

Well done to that mother!

Tony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"as a father of 3,oldest 12 this year,the best advice i can give you is go to your nearest bookshop and get a childs guide to puberty,,,

i have done this with my eldest lad and my niece,who is 13,talk with them first then have a quick look at the book with them,get them to write down any questions they may have and then you can ansewer to best of your ability and if you cant,you have the book"

My mum did this for me. The book had pictures in it showing how the body changed during puberty. I had my first wank to the pic of the boy with an errection

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Jane I know this sound silly but your words made me feel really good and proud.

Wishy and others I chatted with him on the way home and said about it being a full bladder in a morning that makes his willy stick up. he told me it did the same thing at school today as was "bustin for a wee", so thanks for explaining that one to me.

Have also told him that I have ordered a book for us to look at together that will hopefully explain lots and that if we can carry on chatting happily about this kind of stuff then as he grows to be a man it will be easier for us both to have that level of comfortablness about willies and making babies and all that.

I have asked if he would be happy chatting with his dad about this as he may be able to answer more questions from personal experience and he said no he wouldnt be confy as he doesnt see his dad that much(his won words). So will be re reading all this advice on a regular basis so I can make sure I get it right for him.

Am shattered today lol. Once I have got all this in the right direction I might start thinking a touch more of planning my own exploration with men lol.

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth

I'm sure you don't just want to be pointed to loads of books but I must just recommend one called 'What's happening to me' by a brilliant fella called Peter Mayle. He's written lots of others relating to sex education and they're all good, but this one is ideal for you and your lad to have a look at together. It covers (in nice kid-friendly language) the changes boys and girls go through when they hit puberty. It's done with great wit and humour and isn't at all embarrassing to read together.

I had to do the whole business with my boy and girl after they lost their mum when they were very young. Try not to feel awkward about it, after all it's all natural! My two, once they'd been introduced to the book, would occasionally sit on their own with it, laughing at some of the weird things that happened to big kids (hair down below, erections, boobs etc etc.). They're now 17 and 15 and (I think!) pretty well adjusted. The book is still on my shelf ready to hand down to them when they need it (hopefully not for a few more years yet!) - I couldn't recommend it more strongly. And outside of the book, all I'd say is keep communicating with your lad, it sounds like you're already doing a heck of a job - all the best

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

What a truly nice thread. I love you guys!!!

*hides tear*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey _ruit, I'm in exactly the same situation just a few years on as my boys 13 now. My son and his dad aren't close and we have no men in our life i could direct him too. For help, so the poor kids stuck with me. I have always been open about facts if life etc, plus he heard me discussing things with his older sis, he knows far more about periods and pms than he ever wanted lol!! With regards to cleaning himself I just shout through the door don't forget your feet, pits or bits. His dad did tell him once that he had to wash under his foreskin, I was listening outside the door and he said ' you need to wash it or girls won't like you' my son replied, 'good, don't like girls' we re also dealing with all his bodily changes, there's so many more than I thought thete would be. I'm an evil cow at times and tease him about his two chin hairs, calling them his beard and trading him by trying to see if he has a hairy chest. But I know it doesnt embaress him. We have had a few conversations about sex that have totally stumped me. He has told me about a thing he likes because it was worrying him so much. I reassured him, did some research online, found him an online age appropriate forum and dealt with it pretty well I think, all the while cursing his sodding father in my head. We have also had some conversations via email, he just couldn't say out loud what was worrying him. As its just the two of us in the house I do worry sometimes that he growing up more female than male and maybe that's affected some of his fantasies, but there's not a lot i can do about it. We discusd men we see on tv, do we think they're good or bad, what we admire about them. i try to use teachers he admires as role models. I do worry, but he's a great young man and I can only do my best.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

lol @ wishy's last sentance.....a bit low though.

I agree though with Invictus though, sometimes the people on these forums realise when advice is needed and nothing else.... a nice thread it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry about all the typos, I'm on my phone.

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth


"Sorry about all the typos, I'm on my phone. "

That's OK, just don't crash the car

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Rugby your right.

For me it is so important that i get it right and do worry about him as he matures without him having his dad around and the only real constant male figure is his grandad.

I did chat with him today about this and what you have all said.

I know they Will back me but ultimately its down to me.

Molly i curse with you every day. But then am well aware that his dad misses out on so much but was his choice to throw it all away. I am very blessed with my children and family and am well aware of it.

Right better get sorted and do the cub run!

Any more advice or suggestions please add x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My lad is a lovely lad really and very emotionally aware. He isnt really a little shit of course as am very proud of him but is naturally pushing boundaries and boy does he get it in the neck if he steps too far over the line. Luckily I am an assertive person so doesnt get to swing the lead too far without consequences lol

He hasnt mentioned what he hears from school about sex but will keep a listen out for anything he says.

I will make sure I start reminding him to wash his bits and piences and see what he wants me to call it when reminding him to wash it. So far we just call it his willy or I often say bits and pieces.

Thanks for your suggestions xxx"

You need to make sure he knows to clean under the foreskin. As the white mucas that collects there can cause infection and can also carry cancerous cells (learnt this bit from watching embarrasing illness program)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Take it slowly, one day at a time and one step at a time.

If he's just under ten, then he'll be getting sex education at skool which is probably quite explicit - I've mentioned on here before my son announcing blithely that he had watched a dvd of elephants doing it 'piggy-back' style at school...

The trick is let them ask when they are ready, and tell them what they need to know, nothing more, nothing less.

Plenty of time, he's not ten yet.

My darling little baby boy, the apple of my eye and my reason for living is now 13 pushing 14.

He may not make it though.

I may beat him to death with my bare hands if I find one more fucking sock left on the floor.

On the plus side, he offered to get me free condoms if I needed any the other week...

Just be prepared not to burst out laffing when he comes out with some widly inaccurate sex 'fact' he gets from the playground.

(my son also reckoned the drop in centre he could get the condoms from had a supply of crack-cocaine 'for junkies' and he could ask for some if I wanted to try it...)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter is 11, when she was 9 i bought her a book called puberty girl, they also do puberty boy i would highly recommend these books. They are well writing using language kids will understand. Iv read the book with Charlie and answered her questions as they came. She also regularly refers to book herself as and when she needs to. It ensures she always has the correct info to hand as we all know the playground myths that easily confuse kids.

Kat x x c

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

There is a shit load of brilliant sound advice around from trustworthy organisations.

Google 'explaining sex to children'.

Not only will you find some great advice from people qualified to give advice, you'll also find some recommendations for some excellent books and guides.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...So please anyone that can offer some helpful advice or suggestions as I really want him to turn into a nice young man but am aware it isnt going to be easy. Thanks in anticipation x"

Not being a Mum, I don't have any advice to offer you, but I just wanted to say congratulations on the thought and effort you're putting in on this subject, and I'm sure your son will turn out to be a lovely young man.

From my own experience of being brought up by a single parent, the only thing I would say is ... don't underestimate how much he has already heard from school/friends. Even 35 years ago, I had heard all sorts in the playground, before my Mum thought I was 'old enough for THE TALK'. I can remember that, when I learned that some boys were growing pubic hair (I was probably about age 8), I thought it was some kind of illness or disease. When I learned that 'worms' go into 'front bottoms' (LOL probably aged about 7) I decided to marry Kevin Smith because I thought that, since all Kevin's classmates were taller than him, that I'd be less likely to notice him put his worm into my front bottom.

Eh, if only I'd known! LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It IS blood flow but stimulated physically than mentally.Some young kids might just worry if they think it's always sexual.It would be difficult for some young lads to think that they are 'sex obsessed' and discuss it with their mothers...that's all I meant."

what a great response.

without over-complicating

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Thanks sunny.

Mind you he has just finished a 15 min conversation with me about the fact that he feels less love from me than his younger brother gets since his brother was 3(coincides with little one becoming more annoying).

I now feel like the worse parent ever at precisely this moment.

My son has struggled as I did when his dad left and he still has alot of anger issues in relation to that which I just got full throttle in the neck.

I am very protective about my kids and have put my life on hold as far as relationships are concerned as he can be still fragile deep down. Naturally he doesn see this and wont recognise this til he is older and becomes a parent.

Tomorrow he will have woken in a good mood hopefully and no doubt apologise for being nasty to me telling me he was angry.

It does go with the territory the ups and the downs and is hard when your having to be both mum and dad roled into one but hopefully he will see that I am working my rounded botty off.

Need a malibu lol.

Excited about my willy book arriving soon and will some point bring into conversation if other kids at school mention lots of stuff or not.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Mind you he has just finished a 15 min conversation with me about the fact that he feels less love from me than his younger brother gets since his brother was 3(coincides with little one becoming more annoying).."

You're doing fine.

But remember, sometimes kids are just being kids.

He'd moan about his wee brother even if circumstances were different.

He's a ten year old boy. Never underestimate his ability to try emotional blackmail as a means to a new xbox, bike etc etc etc!

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Been into school to speak with the teacher that does the sex education discussion which happens not for another year yet and she has advised me what to say about sex and making babies as he has already asked about this.

Waiting for the school nurse to phone me too.

Son thinks i am a great mum again and have also asked the ex husband to talk to his son about it and see if it Will help. Even if he listens while his dad talks it may help.

Given ex a list of what he is asking about so see what happens.

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By *unterslickCouple
over a year ago

tullamore


"as a father of 3,oldest 12 this year,the best advice i can give you is go to your nearest bookshop and get a childs guide to puberty,,,

i have done this with my eldest lad and my niece,who is 13,talk with them first then have a quick look at the book with them,get them to write down any questions they may have and then you can ansewer to best of your ability and if you cant,you have the book

My mum did this for me. The book had pictures in it showing how the body changed during puberty. I had my first wank to the pic of the boy with an errection "

see it does work,,,lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sounds a great idea with the childs dad,personally bath time try to make it a game to wash properly just fun,it goes down easier with bairns than being strict etc-sounds like you are a great mam,generally been hard in the morning for me anyway means i need a pee-

u r doing great

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"My lad is a lovely lad really and very emotionally aware. He isnt really a little shit of course as am very proud of him but is naturally pushing boundaries and boy does he get it in the neck if he steps too far over the line. Luckily I am an assertive person so doesnt get to swing the lead too far without consequences lol

He hasnt mentioned what he hears from school about sex but will keep a listen out for anything he says.

I will make sure I start reminding him to wash his bits and piences and see what he wants me to call it when reminding him to wash it. So far we just call it his willy or I often say bits and pieces.

Thanks for your suggestions xxx"
It was only until I could peel my foreskin back that I really managed to clean it properly. Some boys (and men) have tight foreskins which doesn't help. I could never really retract mine until I was about 19 - it was just too painful to contemplate. I found inserting the tip of my little finger and trying to ease it helped. Trouble is - that sort of treatment just gave me an erection - which sort of defeated the point of what I was trying to do.

It's sort of the case of letting him get used to handle his bits n pieces - he'll soon find out (if he hasn't already) that it's pleasurable.

I always found it easier to answer questions rather than say: right lets talk about ....

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Had a chat with him last night about what a man does with his willy when he is older and with a woman that he loves....

It went down well with the usual questions.

After school yesterday I spoke with the teacher at school that does the sex education about what to say and how to say it so that also helped.

I have also reminded him to wash his bits when he is in the bath. Should I just get a bar of soap for him as we tend to use shower gel to wash. Or maybe baby wash? As have loads of that.

He has said and shown me that his foreskin cant go back under the head of his willy as is too painful so may have to get him an appointment at the doctor about it.

His dad had to have his foreskin removed as was too tight to pull back.

So booking an appointment for him today.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like you're making excellent progress at a pace he finds comfortable.

You sure you haven't done all this befire lol

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

lol, no.

Am a nanny by trade but any discussions about willies was not done by me.

Just really been fueled by all yopu lot giving me excellent advice when needed and nice to see no one taking the piss LOL out of me for asking the questions!

So booking a docs appointment today for him but am concerned he may find it very embarrasing infront of a doctor to show/discuss his willy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting thread. When a boy I also asked 'awkward' questions and my parents always told me the truth. I think if you stick to the facts you can not go wrong.

Don't let him be shy about talking to the doctor - thats one person he will have to learn to trust.

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I have booked him into see a male docs in the morning. And need to prepare him for the discussion. I assume he Will have to show the docs his Willie and how far his skin Will go back.

I know this seems.silly but now thinking when we go in what i need to be saying room the docs and hopefully limiting any embarrasment for my son. And me probably. Never had to discuss willies with a doctor so far lol.

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Well we went to the doctors today and it seems that his foreskin wont go back far enough at the momnent as has a bit of skin or some techincal word that will stop hiim from pulling it back.

So he has been told to use KY to lube it up and every morning and night to work it up and down to sort the problem.

If not they will cut the offending bit of skin that is stopping it(I would discribe it as a thread of skin on his scrotum side)and wont need circumsizing.

Was so proud of him today at the doctors.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Well done you!

And just think, when he gets arsey as a teenager, you'll be able to bring this up in front of his girlfriend...

...my son already knows I have baby/toddler pics of him in the buff, chipolata swinging in the wind, at the ready for when he brings home some little chicklet & gets cheeky in the future.

Sometimes it's great fun being a a parent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've read this thread and thought how wonderful the fab community can be.

Like many I'm raising my 12 year old alone since his dad was killed when he was 5, it's not easy, often funny and now that he is taller and stronger than me I'm glad I have his respect and love...and two adult children who help out occasionally!

Thank goodness we have so many here we can feel we can ask for advice

and get help and different perspectives. xxxx

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Update...

My lad is now happy "twiddling" with his ky gel and very proud to show me how far his foreskin can go down now as he is getting more brave with it.

One of the books "willies and other boys bits" has arrived and read some passages from it to him which he was pleased about.

He is off to his dads this weekend so have to have the conversation and explain about what is happening to his dad lol

From past experience I wont hold my breath that his dad will chat with him about willies as he has said he would.

I expect the "time wont be right " so will be forgotten about.

Wish I was a fly on the wall lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Update...

My lad is now happy "twiddling" with his ky gel and very proud to show me how far his foreskin can go down now as he is getting more brave with it.

One of the books "willies and other boys bits" has arrived and read some passages from it to him which he was pleased about.

He is off to his dads this weekend so have to have the conversation and explain about what is happening to his dad lol

From past experience I wont hold my breath that his dad will chat with him about willies as he has said he would.

I expect the "time wont be right " so will be forgotten about.

Wish I was a fly on the wall lol"

if only you was a fly on the wall, you would be amazed just how us men would deal with such a topic. lol

i wish you all the luck with this as iam pretty sure that your gut instinct is 100%.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Some people can't do any of those type of talks with their kids.

The Headteacher who gave our children sex education classes said it wasn't so easy doing it with her own children.....so I wouldn't take it as a bad thing if your ex hubby can't.

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

taking notes from this thread for when it is my turn to go through it all with my son...lol he is only 5 so hopefully I still have a few years before the really big questions come...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"taking notes from this thread for when it is my turn to go through it all with my son...lol he is only 5 so hopefully I still have a few years before the really big questions come...lol "

iam sure by then there will be an iphone app for that lol

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I am very much not expecting him to be able to do it knowing him as I do. I am expecting him to attempt to try as he is his dad and would like to know that he also has to make an effort into his sons life,allbeit very little.

I expect him to come home to say his dad tried.

He isnt good anymore about discussing things with his children anymore as he chose to throw away his relationship with his son by his actions.

I am praying that if he tries and his son opens up it may someway bring them a touch closer again. But wont hold my breath lol.

An app for it, lol.

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Norfolk, I know a number of absent fathers that have done fantastic with chatting about difficult stuff and always impressed with those and admire them.

And then there is my sons dad....

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire


"I may beat him to death with my bare hands if I find one more fucking sock left on the floor."

Don't worry, soon enough his crusty Fuck Sock will be able to stand up by itself!

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By *imal75Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I think your doing a fantastic job yourself. I do think you both sitting at the pc together and maybe reading up on stuff together would help him. No Graphic details...but the facts about sex, cleaness and also about him having the ability to ask you any worries or concerns he has. Hope thats of some use. Vim x

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Everything people have said has been a great help. Men from experience have given some great advice and mums after having the chat already. When your a novice like me other peoples advice is fabulous and really interesting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pat yourself on the back for a job well done. good on you. and your son.

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Update.

My lad went to his dad and his dad did try to discuss this all with them to try help me out but our son said he didnt want to discuss it with his dad. I will now continue to be the best mum and dad I can to him and continue with his "twidding"

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