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what if your kids ask if you

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

are a swinger as mine did.... whoops...

straight out, face to face..there it was... I did answer.... but wonder if there are suggestions ???

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By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone


"are a swinger as mine did.... whoops...

straight out, face to face..there it was... I did answer.... but wonder if there are suggestions ???"

think i'd check out exactly what they meant by swinger before i divulged too much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

our eldest son has just found out what we do!!!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

well, my eldest knew what swinging is... and wanted to know lol... I did not want to lie as I hate dishonesty.. so I simply looked him in the eye and said... "would you love your mum any less if she were" and he thought about it for a moment... and that was the end of it... Thankfully he probably realised at that moment that some things are ... simply private...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's none of their business and although it has been hinted at we simply ignore it.

We would never dream of asking them about what they get up to with their partners and would never expect them to tell us, which works both ways for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's none of their business and although it has been hinted at we simply ignore it.

We would never dream of asking them about what they get up to with their partners and would never expect them to tell us, which works both ways for us "

we have taken that stance at mo ...probably cos we dont have a clue what to say lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's none of their business and although it has been hinted at we simply ignore it.

We would never dream of asking them about what they get up to with their partners and would never expect them to tell us, which works both ways for us we have taken that stance at mo ...probably cos we dont have a clue what to say lol"

Ours are both over 21 and whilst they are more than capable of understanding it really is none of their business.

None of us would fess up what goes on behind a closed bedroom door, anal or oral or bdsm etc etc so why should we fess up to swinging

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"It's none of their business and although it has been hinted at we simply ignore it.

We would never dream of asking them about what they get up to with their partners and would never expect them to tell us, which works both ways for us we have taken that stance at mo ...probably cos we dont have a clue what to say lol

Ours are both over 21 and whilst they are more than capable of understanding it really is none of their business.

None of us would fess up what goes on behind a closed bedroom door, anal or oral or bdsm etc etc so why should we fess up to swinging "

Agreed... it is private... and while my kids are very open and brought up to be this way... it is none of their business, yet... when asking a question I dont like saying "none of your business"... prefer to be bit softer... make sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's none of their business and although it has been hinted at we simply ignore it.

We would never dream of asking them about what they get up to with their partners and would never expect them to tell us, which works both ways for us we have taken that stance at mo ...probably cos we dont have a clue what to say lol

Ours are both over 21 and whilst they are more than capable of understanding it really is none of their business.

None of us would fess up what goes on behind a closed bedroom door, anal or oral or bdsm etc etc so why should we fess up to swinging

Agreed... it is private... and while my kids are very open and brought up to be this way... it is none of their business, yet... when asking a question I dont like saying "none of your business"... prefer to be bit softer... make sense? "

think it will have to depend on how mature the kids are as to telling them if they are mature enough they will understand and accept it and not make a issue out of it.

in reverse thou im 32 years old and told my mum that we are swingers a few weeks ago the look on my girl friends face was a picture and all my 55 year old mum said was "thought so" and smiled lol

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By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

as my daughter lives in the same street as me she knows if the blinds are down daddys got friend in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"as my daughter lives in the same street as me she knows if the blinds are down daddys got friend in "
or you have migraine....

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod

over a year ago

I agree that it depends on the age and maturity of the children....Its not something we would sit down and tell ours about...but we have friends who have just told their daughter who is in her early 20's about what they do and she was'nt suprised and is going to visit the club we all go to to see what its all about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree that it depends on the age and maturity of the children....Its not something we would sit down and tell ours about...but we have friends who have just told their daughter who is in her early 20's about what they do and she was'nt suprised and is going to visit the club we all go to to see what its all about"

Just when I thought I could not be shocked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree that it depends on the age and maturity of the children....Its not something we would sit down and tell ours about...but we have friends who have just told their daughter who is in her early 20's about what they do and she was'nt suprised and is going to visit the club we all go to to see what its all about"

My son joined this site...before I told him to bugger off and find his own! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree that it depends on the age and maturity of the children....Its not something we would sit down and tell ours about...but we have friends who have just told their daughter who is in her early 20's about what they do and she was'nt suprised and is going to visit the club we all go to to see what its all about

My son joined this site...before I told him to bugger off and find his own! lol"

lol, if my son knew there was sites like this i think he would join them too....saying that he probly does know there are sites like this ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my kids told me about the site but took me a good while before I joined

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree that it depends on the age and maturity of the children....Its not something we would sit down and tell ours about...but we have friends who have just told their daughter who is in her early 20's about what they do and she was'nt suprised and is going to visit the club we all go to to see what its all about

My son joined this site...before I told him to bugger off and find his own! lol

lol, if my son knew there was sites like this i think he would join them too....saying that he probly does know there are sites like this .... "

Mine all know what is gong on...well its hard to walk out the door latex clad with a bag of toys and 8"! boots on and say you are nipping to Asda! lol

Honesty was always the best policy around here and they are old enough to know. They actually find it quite amusing lol

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

my daughter doent know officialy but gives me knowing looks, smiles and keeps saying you be careful dad ....

she has had to threaten her friends not to keep inviting me out with them on the town or she wont go ...

fair enough i suppose ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Les kids, know they are over 20 my daughter 8 years dosent

all our friends and family know as well xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have never quite grasped why anyone would want to tell their friends and family that they are swingers

We would never tell friends and family that Mrs Two2 likes anal now and again, will let me cum in her mouth but does not swallow, because I get off on it she fucks single guys while I sit and watch or that we have loads of toys, vids and sexy lingerie.

If we, and we suspect most folk on here would never reveal to any loved those sort of close personal secrets why on earth would we consider boasting about being swingers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a difference in telling your family and sharing all the gory details!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is a difference in telling your family and sharing all the gory details!"

In what way? Genuinely interested in that notion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty self explanatory.

My family know I swing, they know what swinging is. I do not have to tell them the the in's and outs of what I do. ( excuse the pun)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Pretty self explanatory.

My family know I swing, they know what swinging is. I do not have to tell them the the in's and outs of what I do. ( excuse the pun)"

Again genuine and non confrontational question.

If your kids, now that they know, asked if you did anal or DP, swallowed, licked pussy etc etc etc as they are all common or garden swinging activities would you answer that as honestly as well?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would depend on the age we suppose.. but if ours asked now as grown ups think it would be fair to be honest..

We'd then explain in absolutely no detail whatsoever We spend all our lives telling people to be truthful..

If we lied and later they found out its just worse then eh...

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"It would depend on the age we suppose.. but if ours asked now as grown ups think it would be fair to be honest..

We'd then explain in absolutely no detail whatsoever We spend all our lives telling people to be truthful..

If we lied and later they found out its just worse then eh..."

Well said... I agree... it just depends on their age and maturity... I feel. I think being honest is much preferable to making up a false morality... bad bad role model,hey???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Pretty self explanatory.

My family know I swing, they know what swinging is. I do not have to tell them the the in's and outs of what I do. ( excuse the pun)"

I'd agree... No harm in being honest but theres no way we'd give details...

we'd clear up what swinging was if asked.. thats it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It would depend on the age we suppose.. but if ours asked now as grown ups think it would be fair to be honest..

We'd then explain in absolutely no detail whatsoever We spend all our lives telling people to be truthful..

If we lied and later they found out its just worse then eh...

Well said... I agree... it just depends on their age and maturity... I feel. I think being honest is much preferable to making up a false morality... bad bad role model,hey???"

Totally wrong... Its like saying its ok if we do something wrong. When its not wrong to start with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Pretty self explanatory.

My family know I swing, they know what swinging is. I do not have to tell them the the in's and outs of what I do. ( excuse the pun)

Again genuine and non confrontational question.

If your kids, now that they know, asked if you did anal or DP, swallowed, licked pussy etc etc etc as they are all common or garden swinging activities would you answer that as honestly as well?"

No.

They would not ask about what my partner and I get up to with regards non swinging activities and to be honest it would gross most kids out that thier parents are having sex anyway.

I have no need to share such graphic descriptions with my children.

The most they have asked is.

Have I been to parties

Why do I do it

and how old do you have to be to join a site lol

However they do come to me and ask for sexual advice or to discuss sex in general, but then sex has never been protrayed as something to hide or be embarrassed about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Again genuine and non confrontational question.

If your kids, now that they know, asked if you did anal or DP, swallowed, licked pussy etc etc etc as they are all common or garden swinging activities would you answer that as honestly as well?"

Its sex... thats all they would need to know... Would you sit and explain what you do together in the bedroom to them?

I doubt anyone would sit and give the finer details....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Again genuine and non confrontational question.

If your kids, now that they know, asked if you did anal or DP, swallowed, licked pussy etc etc etc as they are all common or garden swinging activities would you answer that as honestly as well?

Its sex... thats all they would need to know... Would you sit and explain what you do together in the bedroom to them?

I doubt anyone would sit and give the finer details....

"

exactly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It would depend on the age we suppose.. but if ours asked now as grown ups think it would be fair to be honest..

We'd then explain in absolutely no detail whatsoever We spend all our lives telling people to be truthful..

If we lied and later they found out its just worse then eh...

Well said... I agree... it just depends on their age and maturity... I feel. I think being honest is much preferable to making up a false morality... bad bad role model,hey???"

Our kids are both over 20 and our friends and family are considerably older

We have not lied or made up any sort of false morality, we have simply decided that sex in all it's formats is a private thing for us and those we choose to share ourselves with.

We would never enquire of our kids, our family or our friends about their sexual preferences or activities and, make of it what you will but we know take comfort in the fact that our kids, our family and our friends are way too polite to make such enquiries of us.

With all that in mind why on earth would we feel the need to fess up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally can't imagine anyones kids asking more than 'are you swinging' to start with lol... as said, that would gross most out with the admission .. 'yes we do'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Again genuine and non confrontational question.

If your kids, now that they know, asked if you did anal or DP, swallowed, licked pussy etc etc etc as they are all common or garden swinging activities would you answer that as honestly as well?

Its sex... thats all they would need to know... Would you sit and explain what you do together in the bedroom to them?

I doubt anyone would sit and give the finer details....

"

Quite right but why would anyone consider owning up to swinging as not being a "finer detail"

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

Again genuine and non confrontational question.

If your kids, now that they know, asked if you did anal or DP, swallowed, licked pussy etc etc etc as they are all common or garden swinging activities would you answer that as honestly as well?

Its sex... thats all they would need to know... Would you sit and explain what you do together in the bedroom to them?

I doubt anyone would sit and give the finer details....

Quite right but why would anyone consider owning up to swinging as not being a "finer detail" "

Swinging is a life style.. not a sexual practice in detail, I would argue, bit like being vegetarian, pardon the pun... and not describing Linda's sausages in detail pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The question is what would you do if asked... Not 'fess up' as you say.

If asked we'd reply.. Sex is normal, its like eating drinking and going to the Loo... Its not dirty, seedy... Balanced kids wouldn't bat an eyelid..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Besides... I'd respect my kids if asked to tell the truth...

We have sex... Whoopeee dooo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They asked. I answered. I see no reason to lie about something like this.

I am not ashamed of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The question is what would you do if asked... Not 'fess up' as you say.

If asked we'd reply.. Sex is normal, its like eating drinking and going to the Loo... Its not dirty, seedy... Balanced kids wouldn't bat an eyelid..

"

The funny thing is our kids are well balanced but where would you suggest the honesty stops? Our kids, like most kids fully understand the concept of monogamous sex. But if we tell all and sundry we swing then when they ask what we do when we swing or visit clubs what should we say?

How would either my son or daughter react to the notion that in a club I like Mrs Two2 to pick up younger guys, take them to a private room and allow me to sit back and watch while they fuck each other senseless, or should we lie about that.......see profile

Swingers, even without giving details away about what we get up to do stuff that most vanilla friends simply could not get their heads around, and they are adults.

Why on earth would our well balanced kids fare any better and why on earth would we trouble them in that fashion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They asked. I answered. I see no reason to lie about something like this.

I am not ashamed of it."

Id take great comfort in knowing our kids could handle knowing their parents were still alive.. having fun, enjoying life and despite the fact we have sex with each other and now and then with others, were neither perverts, sicko's retarded or stiff and stuffy...

Ashamed were not...

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

[Removed by poster at 26/06/09 20:55:13]

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

a recent tv programme exposed the fact that most kids are first exposed to porn on the internet at 8 yrs old and are watching hardcore stuff by 11 ...

to be honest ...sad that it is ..

swinging is quite mild by comparisone ..

pd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The question is what would you do if asked... Not 'fess up' as you say.

If asked we'd reply.. Sex is normal, its like eating drinking and going to the Loo... Its not dirty, seedy... Balanced kids wouldn't bat an eyelid..

The funny thing is our kids are well balanced but where would you suggest the honesty stops? Our kids, like most kids fully understand the concept of monogamous sex. But if we tell all and sundry we swing then when they ask what we do when we swing or visit clubs what should we say?

How would either my son or daughter react to the notion that in a club I like Mrs Two2 to pick up younger guys, take them to a private room and allow me to sit back and watch while they fuck each other senseless, or should we lie about that.......see profile

Swingers, even without giving details away about what we get up to do stuff that most vanilla friends simply could not get their heads around, and they are adults.

Why on earth would our well balanced kids fare any better and why on earth would we trouble them in that fashion

"

I disagree with you there.

It all depends on your outlook on life and how your view things.

I believe in total honesty. My children are infact young adults. They would not ask the in's and outs as they wouldnt want to know.

As for getting your head round swinging...it is just sex.

They knew what swinging entailed, they asked if We were swingers, I answered. end of.

If they researched it and know what goes on, then why do they need to ask.

Surely the admission to being swingers leaves them in no illusions that we may partake in all or some of the activities associated with it. They have not felt the urge to ask for specific details with regards what I get up too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The question is what would you do if asked... Not 'fess up' as you say.

If asked we'd reply.. Sex is normal, its like eating drinking and going to the Loo... Its not dirty, seedy... Balanced kids wouldn't bat an eyelid..

The funny thing is our kids are well balanced but where would you suggest the honesty stops? Our kids, like most kids fully understand the concept of monogamous sex. But if we tell all and sundry we swing then when they ask what we do when we swing or visit clubs what should we say?

How would either my son or daughter react to the notion that in a club I like Mrs Two2 to pick up younger guys, take them to a private room and allow me to sit back and watch while they fuck each other senseless, or should we lie about that.......see profile

Swingers, even without giving details away about what we get up to do stuff that most vanilla friends simply could not get their heads around, and they are adults.

Why on earth would our well balanced kids fare any better and why on earth would we trouble them in that fashion

"

Where would the honesty stop... Like everyone else with the details, like they would want to know or question what goes on. Do they ask you now 'Dad do you lick Mummies pussy' Or even anything like?? Doubtful so why in Gods name would they ask if you do anything like with anyone else??

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"[Removed by poster at 26/06/09 20:55:13]"

Not suggesting for one minute we tell them all at a young age... it depends on age, maturity, environment and a few other factors. All I am suggesting is... if possible it is better to be honest than to lie for the sake of an assumed "better role model"???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The question is what would you do if asked... Not 'fess up' as you say.

If asked we'd reply.. Sex is normal, its like eating drinking and going to the Loo... Its not dirty, seedy... Balanced kids wouldn't bat an eyelid..

The funny thing is our kids are well balanced but where would you suggest the honesty stops? Our kids, like most kids fully understand the concept of monogamous sex. But if we tell all and sundry we swing then when they ask what we do when we swing or visit clubs what should we say?

How would either my son or daughter react to the notion that in a club I like Mrs Two2 to pick up younger guys, take them to a private room and allow me to sit back and watch while they fuck each other senseless, or should we lie about that.......see profile

Swingers, even without giving details away about what we get up to do stuff that most vanilla friends simply could not get their heads around, and they are adults.

Why on earth would our well balanced kids fare any better and why on earth would we trouble them in that fashion

Where would the honesty stop... Like everyone else with the details, like they would want to know or question what goes on. Do they ask you now 'Dad do you lick Mummies pussy' Or even anything like?? Doubtful so why in Gods name would they ask if you do anything like with anyone else??

"

exactly...I do not understand why some are finding it so hard to get thier head round that fact!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where would the honesty stop... Like everyone else with the details, like they would want to know or question what goes on. Do they ask you now 'Dad do you lick Mummies pussy' Or even anything like?? Doubtful so why in Gods name would they ask if you do anything like with anyone else??

"

But how does that marry up with the "honesty" sentiment.

Surely if the kids are well balanced enough to accept mum and dad swing they are well balanced enough to accept what mum and dad get up to in bed, either with each other or with playmates

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could say then its ok to take a younger guy to a room and fuck him sensless but jeeze.. whatever you do don't talk about it lol...

But I won't..

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I could say then its ok to take a younger guy to a room and fuck him sensless but jeeze.. whatever you do don't talk about it lol...

But I won't.."

Agreed in full.... and kids dont want to know the details... yuk... lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where would the honesty stop... Like everyone else with the details, like they would want to know or question what goes on. Do they ask you now 'Dad do you lick Mummies pussy' Or even anything like?? Doubtful so why in Gods name would they ask if you do anything like with anyone else??

But how does that marry up with the "honesty" sentiment.

Surely if the kids are well balanced enough to accept mum and dad swing they are well balanced enough to accept what mum and dad get up to in bed, either with each other or with playmates "

Oh catch a grip.

Your on a wind up...you must be!

I know my parents have sex...I wouldnt ask them for details!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where would the honesty stop... Like everyone else with the details, like they would want to know or question what goes on. Do they ask you now 'Dad do you lick Mummies pussy' Or even anything like?? Doubtful so why in Gods name would they ask if you do anything like with anyone else??

But how does that marry up with the "honesty" sentiment.

Surely if the kids are well balanced enough to accept mum and dad swing they are well balanced enough to accept what mum and dad get up to in bed, either with each other or with playmates "

If the kids.. at an Adult age asked, we'd tell.. Simple, were not ashamed. Find me one who'd then say so what do you do when you go to the club.. then i'd answer.

Ok for arguements sake.. If we were pushed and asked what.. we'd say, we have sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I could say then its ok to take a younger guy to a room and fuck him sensless but jeeze.. whatever you do don't talk about it lol...

But I won't.."

Sorry but you lost me there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I could say then its ok to take a younger guy to a room and fuck him sensless but jeeze.. whatever you do don't talk about it lol...

But I won't..

Sorry but you lost me there "

You say in your own words you like Mrs Two to pick up younger guys and take them to a room and shag them sensless.. Your kids you say are over 20.. Younger then are they not??

So you'll shag younger.. are they not someones kids then??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where would the honesty stop... Like everyone else with the details, like they would want to know or question what goes on. Do they ask you now 'Dad do you lick Mummies pussy' Or even anything like?? Doubtful so why in Gods name would they ask if you do anything like with anyone else??

But how does that marry up with the "honesty" sentiment.

Surely if the kids are well balanced enough to accept mum and dad swing they are well balanced enough to accept what mum and dad get up to in bed, either with each other or with playmates

If the kids.. at an Adult age asked, we'd tell.. Simple, were not ashamed. Find me one who'd then say so what do you do when you go to the club.. then i'd answer.

Ok for arguements sake.. If we were pushed and asked what.. we'd say, we have sex.

"

But surely that sort of mis truth is no different, and without a doubt way less complicated, than simply brushing the whole idea off in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I could say then its ok to take a younger guy to a room and fuck him sensless but jeeze.. whatever you do don't talk about it lol...

But I won't..

Sorry but you lost me there

You say in your own words you like Mrs Two to pick up younger guys and take them to a room and shag them sensless.. Your kids you say are over 20.. Younger then are they not??

So you'll shag younger.. are they not someones kids then??

"

Still not quite sure what you are trying to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not.. you already said enough.

Not sure what it is with you... but you'd call white black, black white etc etc etc... You'd nit pick the balls off a nat..

If your doing your little goading thing again.. fine, i'll happily trade with you all night... won't change a thing though will it.. just makes everyone else get bored...

Your entiltled to your opinion... Just as everyone else is entiltled to theirs..

If it makes you feel better.. your right, whatever it is, your right.. were all wrong.

Feel better now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not.. you already said enough.

Not sure what it is with you... but you'd call white black, black white etc etc etc... You'd nit pick the balls off a nat..

If your doing your little goading thing again.. fine, i'll happily trade with you all night... won't change a thing though will it.. just makes everyone else get bored...

Your entiltled to your opinion... Just as everyone else is entiltled to theirs..

If it makes you feel better.. your right, whatever it is, your right.. were all wrong.

Feel better now? "

Now even more confused this end and why all the unprompted angst

We suggest that by not telling our kids, family or friends about us swinging we are keeping the lid on Pandora's box.

That sentiment is viewed by some as flawed as honesty, without detail is the best policy.

All I have tried to explore is where honesty stops and the lid gets nailed back on, and I seem once again to be getting lambasted for having an alternative opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where would the honesty stop... Like everyone else with the details, like they would want to know or question what goes on. Do they ask you now 'Dad do you lick Mummies pussy' Or even anything like?? Doubtful so why in Gods name would they ask if you do anything like with anyone else??

But how does that marry up with the "honesty" sentiment.

Surely if the kids are well balanced enough to accept mum and dad swing they are well balanced enough to accept what mum and dad get up to in bed, either with each other or with playmates

If the kids.. at an Adult age asked, we'd tell.. Simple, were not ashamed. Find me one who'd then say so what do you do when you go to the club.. then i'd answer.

Ok for arguements sake.. If we were pushed and asked what.. we'd say, we have sex.

But surely that sort of mis truth is no different, and without a doubt way less complicated, than simply brushing the whole idea off in the first place "

You do talk bollox lol... Utter and very clearly though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you get so angry when others disagree with you

An old adage often related to me is that when some one has to resort to getting personal their argument is lost

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Where would the honesty stop... Like everyone else with the details, like they would want to know or question what goes on. Do they ask you now 'Dad do you lick Mummies pussy' Or even anything like?? Doubtful so why in Gods name would they ask if you do anything like with anyone else??

But how does that marry up with the "honesty" sentiment.

Surely if the kids are well balanced enough to accept mum and dad swing they are well balanced enough to accept what mum and dad get up to in bed, either with each other or with playmates

If the kids.. at an Adult age asked, we'd tell.. Simple, were not ashamed. Find me one who'd then say so what do you do when you go to the club.. then i'd answer.

Ok for arguements sake.. If we were pushed and asked what.. we'd say, we have sex.

But surely that sort of mis truth is no different, and without a doubt way less complicated, than simply brushing the whole idea off in the first place

You do talk bollox lol... Utter and very clearly though. "

Ouch, I am beginning to regret asking the question. Really all I wanted was some genuine feedback on what people felt was appropriate.. We are all different in the way we are with our kids, and I am sure all meaning well in raising them to our best ability. Clearly the result means diversity amongst them, as there is diversity amongst us on here... What happened to non-judgmental attitude...;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where would the honesty stop... Like everyone else with the details, like they would want to know or question what goes on. Do they ask you now 'Dad do you lick Mummies pussy' Or even anything like?? Doubtful so why in Gods name would they ask if you do anything like with anyone else??

But how does that marry up with the "honesty" sentiment.

Surely if the kids are well balanced enough to accept mum and dad swing they are well balanced enough to accept what mum and dad get up to in bed, either with each other or with playmates

If the kids.. at an Adult age asked, we'd tell.. Simple, were not ashamed. Find me one who'd then say so what do you do when you go to the club.. then i'd answer.

Ok for arguements sake.. If we were pushed and asked what.. we'd say, we have sex.

But surely that sort of mis truth is no different, and without a doubt way less complicated, than simply brushing the whole idea off in the first place

You do talk bollox lol... Utter and very clearly though.

Ouch, I am beginning to regret asking the question. Really all I wanted was some genuine feedback on what people felt was appropriate.. We are all different in the way we are with our kids, and I am sure all meaning well in raising them to our best ability. Clearly the result means diversity amongst them, as there is diversity amongst us on here... What happened to non-judgmental attitude...;-) "

It's a great question which shows the whole breadth of opinion of us all, thats the great thing about this site, mature debate amongst like minded adults

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do you get so angry when others disagree with you

An old adage often related to me is that when some one has to resort to getting personal their argument is lost

"

Angry.. far from, your mistaking my anger with pity lol..

This isn't about one thread is it. You do this with several.. You nit pick and try to belittle people who have any view other than yours..

Don't try and push it over this way.. It wasn't an arguement to start with.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Why do you get so angry when others disagree with you

An old adage often related to me is that when some one has to resort to getting personal their argument is lost

Angry.. far from, your mistaking my anger with pity lol..

This isn't about one thread is it. You do this with several.. You nit pick and try to belittle people who have any view other than yours..

Don't try and push it over this way.. It wasn't an arguement to start with. "

Ouch again lol... thin this is not really about this thread anymore, sounds bit more personal to me so I am opting out xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry Aphrodite..

Sometimes... Grrrrr

Sorry sweety!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This isn't about one thread is it. You do this with several.. You nit pick and try to belittle people who have any view other than yours..

Don't try and push it over this way.. It wasn't an arguement to start with. "

I thought the whole concept of these threads was that adults debated a variety of subjects in a mature manner without ever having to resort to insult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This isn't about one thread is it. You do this with several.. You nit pick and try to belittle people who have any view other than yours..

Don't try and push it over this way.. It wasn't an arguement to start with.

I thought the whole concept of these threads was that adults debated a variety of subjects in a mature manner without ever having to resort to insult "

Clever... but transparant sadly!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"This isn't about one thread is it. You do this with several.. You nit pick and try to belittle people who have any view other than yours..

Don't try and push it over this way.. It wasn't an arguement to start with.

I thought the whole concept of these threads was that adults debated a variety of subjects in a mature manner without ever having to resort to insult

Clever... but transparant sadly! "

Think I am going to have to put my dominatrix hat on... and give you guys a good spanking!!! Beg for it... you Rottweilers xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This isn't about one thread is it. You do this with several.. You nit pick and try to belittle people who have any view other than yours..

Don't try and push it over this way.. It wasn't an arguement to start with.

I thought the whole concept of these threads was that adults debated a variety of subjects in a mature manner without ever having to resort to insult

Clever... but transparant sadly!

Think I am going to have to put my dominatrix hat on... and give you guys a good spanking!!! Beg for it... you Rottweilers xxx"

I'd still tell the kids if old enough to understand.. then face the music if it played..

Better that than lie eh lol...

(I never beg lol)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

chuckles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"chuckles "

Typical woman... sits back, sips the wine and enjoys the show..

I dunno lol... xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"chuckles

Typical woman... sits back, sips the wine and enjoys the show..

I dunno lol... xx"

indeed...smiles lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i am the only person who thinks like it then I sincerely apologise...

If i'm wrong i'm wrong.. but two days on the trot is too much even for me lol...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

review the thread. I gave up ages ago lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here’s a thought for consideration and it’s not an original thought as we have said it on here on way more than one occasion.

Those of you that admit to telling all and sundry about your swinging lifestyle have our utmost admiration but we will never understand exactly why you do it, and we genuinely wonder if you have ever considered what your kids etc actually think it is you get up to? Faced with the dilemma of telling our kids, family or friends that we swing will always find us taking the easy way out, unless faced with hard evidence that we simply cannot argue against and even then we would still try and wriggle.

We do this not because we lack the moral courage to admit to what we do but because we look to spare our loved ones and friends the confusion of wondering what exactly it is that we get up to.

Our kids are over 20 and our friends are even older still but they are all internet savvy. Try it your self and search the net for swingers and what swingers do and we would bet our mortgage that in less than 1 hour you can come up with every combination from soft swing to bukkake, same room to gang bang and straight to Bi sex that us folk get up to.

If we never admit to folk we swing we will never have to answer any of the other associated awkward questions which in turn means we never have to confuse anyone, especially those we love most.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of our friends know, some don't, some of our family know, some don't.. yet never once.. not even one awkward question.

As you say yourself, swinging is everything from 'soft' to 'very hardcore' So why would anyone with even so much as half a brain assume your suddenly miss whiplash?

It says more of how you view the scene than how they may supposedly view the scene... Seedy, dirty and full of sado's maybe?? As in our experience when we have told anyone.. they all sofar have shown a more positive spin than goes on inside your head..

but thats your right.. No one was saying you had to confess to one and all.. Just what you would do if asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Miss Whiplash??...ummmmmm....coughs.....and leaves....

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Miss Whiplash??...ummmmmm....coughs.....and leaves.... "

Who called me then? ))

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some of our friends know, some don't, some of our family know, some don't.. yet never once.. not even one awkward question.

As you say yourself, swinging is everything from 'soft' to 'very hardcore' So why would anyone with even so much as half a brain assume your suddenly miss whiplash?

It says more of how you view the scene than how they may supposedly view the scene... Seedy, dirty and full of sado's maybe?? As in our experience when we have told anyone.. they all sofar have shown a more positive spin than goes on inside your head..

but thats your right.. No one was saying you had to confess to one and all.. Just what you would do if asked. "

Now I am giggling away here as I contemplate the rather bizarre notion that for the last 8 years we, as mature, willing and sensible adults have been actively participating in something we consider "seedy, dirty and full of sado's", I am sure when you look back on what you have typed you will realise just how silly that must sound

When you say

"Some of our friends know, some don't, some of our family know, some don't.. yet never once.. not even one awkward question"

Prior to them finding out about you swinging did any of your friends or family ever asked you any awkward questions about what goes behind your own bedroom door?

If they are anything like our friends and family the obvious answer would be NO. Because we are fast approaching 30 years together but are not yet "past it" our friends and family will assume we still have sex. They may well wonder what it is that "does it" for us but out of politeness they would never ask.

Because we leave no evidence of it they would never know that we are into light bondage.

Because we keep them locked away they would never know we have a selection of toys that we always use to enhance our fun and the same can be said of our vid/cd/book collection.

As far as our family and friends are concerned we are a normal happily married couple with a normal and happy lifestyle

I know you are struggling with it but that whole dynamic changes if we were to reveal to our friends and family that we are swingers.

Because they were polite enough to never ask awkward questions about our sexual behaviour prior to finding out we swing why on earth would that change once they know what we get up to?

The difference now is that instead of possibly wondering what we got up to as a monogamous couple in the confines of our own bedroom they will now wonder exactly what it is we do when we meet with other couples or go to clubs.

We don't want our family and friends wondering if mum likes to be gang banged or dad takes it up the arse, as it happens we don't, but these and many many other practises are all perfectly normal things that happen on the swinging scene.

We don't hide what we do out of fear or shame we simply conceal it out of respect for our loved ones and friends feelings. We have met with couples who have had relationships with friends and family damaged once their swinging lifestyle was revealed and we have seen that written about in here before.

We choose to keep quiet rather than risk the real possibility of hurting those around us and whilst we have the utmost respect for those are more open about what they do we can never understand why they would take that risk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You refer to it as a risk??

I do not think that people knowing you may have sex which does extend to more than the missionary position puts them at risk.

If anything it shows that variety is the spice of life, there is nothing to be ashamed about and that sex should be explored and enjoyed.

Sexually liberated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see the mad gibberish of the oh mighty miserable one rambles on and on and on like a stuck record.

To be honest I couldn't give a stuff how you feel about talking about it to whoever or whatever.. I don't care if you find it dirty, seedy or whatever.. I don't feel silly.. nor ashamed about what we do with anyone else. We have no troubles talking about it to either our family or friends 'if asked'.. The fact you do is of no concern nor interest..

What is of interest is the fact your goading.. you know you are and you want a reaction. Fair enough.. !!

You mask your shite under the generic term of open debate.. I'm personally surprised you feel the need to be such an arse.. but all the while you are you just make everyone else from the pond life upward seem more attractive to chat with...

Please.. for the vary last time.. stop goading!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have never quite grasped why anyone would want to tell their friends and family that they are swingers

We would never tell friends and family that Mrs Two2 likes anal now and again, will let me cum in her mouth but does not swallow, because I get off on it she fucks single guys while I sit and watch or that we have loads of toys, vids and sexy lingerie.

If we, and we suspect most folk on here would never reveal to any loved those sort of close personal secrets why on earth would we consider boasting about being swingers "

cant see anything wrong in telling anyone you have anal....perhaps its the bit about the lingerie he means.....does he tell everyone he wears it....pmsl

and on a last note why doesnt she swallow.....wasnt she brought up to know that old saying "waste not, want no" and not allowed to leave the table till everything was eaten....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I still find it hard to believe he keeps banging on about the fookin details anyway..

Like if someone asks.. yes ASKS they are then going to need want or deserve a full fookin reference library to his sad sex life ff's.. Like anyone would want ALL the details and by not OFFERING them all on a plate were all some kind of hypocrite..

If he wants to keep things to himself.. we have no problem with that, none at all.. his business totally.. but the question was if asked what would you do..

We'd be honest.. simple!

Being honest doesn't then extend to giving all the details.. Thats then just nosy lol..

Its like saying.. Yes we have an account at the TSB.. were not then going to give all the fookin account details are we.. and like anyone would ask anyway!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Decides not to ask....apparently it isnt the done thing!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Decides not to ask....apparently it isnt the done thing!"

Put s new kind of meaning to poking the bear, eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Decides not to ask....apparently it isnt the done thing!

Put s new kind of meaning to poking the bear, eh? "

That was a vicious rumour and the police could prove nothing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can see the mad gibberish of the oh mighty miserable one rambles on and on and on like a stuck record.

To be honest I couldn't give a stuff how you feel about talking about it to whoever or whatever.. I don't care if you find it dirty, seedy or whatever.. I don't feel silly.. nor ashamed about what we do with anyone else. We have no troubles talking about it to either our family or friends 'if asked'.. The fact you do is of no concern nor interest..

What is of interest is the fact your goading.. you know you are and you want a reaction. Fair enough.. !!

You mask your shite under the generic term of open debate.. I'm personally surprised you feel the need to be such an arse.. but all the while you are you just make everyone else from the pond life upward seem more attractive to chat with...

Please.. for the vary last time.. stop goading! "

Sad, very very sad indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry your sad...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I still find it hard to believe he keeps banging on about the fookin details anyway..

Like if someone asks.. yes ASKS they are then going to need want or deserve a full fookin reference library to his sad sex life ff's.. Like anyone would want ALL the details and by not OFFERING them all on a plate were all some kind of hypocrite..

If he wants to keep things to himself.. we have no problem with that, none at all.. his business totally.. but the question was if asked what would you do..

We'd be honest.. simple!

Being honest doesn't then extend to giving all the details.. Thats then just nosy lol..

Its like saying.. Yes we have an account at the TSB.. were not then going to give all the fookin account details are we.. and like anyone would ask anyway!

"

Hear hear lol if you want people to know tell em

If you dont want peopkle to know dont tell em

We could not give a flying fuck who knows and thats our choice

And visa versa

Again the op turns to chinese whispers lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a shame cause its a good post..... Good question and one many would/could face...

Just can't see where all the if you say one thing your obliged to say all comes from...

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