FabSwingers.com forum: Am i in the wrong??

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So i met a girl in a bar few weeks back, shes only 20 and im late 20's. i agreed to take her out then decided after the first date that i was not interested in anything long term.

i messaged her after and said, i had a good night tonight, but right now i am not after anything serious, if you fancy some fun together that would be cool

she replied saying she was happy with some fun, so i have took her out for tea, had some fun at mine and took her away for the night.

i have now been accused of messing with her head, have i?:S

i appreciate she is only young

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So i met a girl in a bar few weeks back, shes only 20 and im late 20's. i agreed to take her out then decided after the first date that i was not interested in anything long term.

i messaged her after and said, i had a good night tonight, but right now i am not after anything serious, if you fancy some fun together that would be cool

she replied saying she was happy with some fun, so i have took her out for tea, had some fun at mine and took her away for the night.

i have now been accused of messing with her head, have i?:S

i appreciate she is only young"

She is still very young and easily mislead most girls this age agree to "fun" hoping to change a person's mind maybe just make it more about the physical and less about the social side (taking her out) etc I don't think you are in the wrong but maybe just explain to her exactly what it is you want and don't want and if she can't accept it then it's best to move on or someone will get emotionally hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you just want sex with her, just keep it to that. If she at all implies she wants more, explain that you don't & just cut it off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd apologise and say you didn't intend to mess with her head and thought you'd been clear about what you wanted and then not see her again, she obviously isn't listening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love to hear her side off 'events' .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Love to hear her side off 'events' .

shes upset that shes "got feelings for me" and i have not got them for her, but i have been very honest and said i am not interested in anything serious right now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love to hear her side off 'events' .

shes upset that shes "got feelings for me" and i have not got them for her, but i have been very honest and said i am not interested in anything serious right now"

If I was you I would just say goodbye now before she falls for you even more if a relationship isn't what your after then still sleeping with this girl is only going to cause more problems for you both as she's just going to hold on to the fact you still want to see her and she will have hopes of changing your mind it isn't fair on either of you x

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By *xyzptlk088Man
over a year ago

Galway

"Love to hear her side off 'events' .

probably something along the lines of wailing screaming some snot bubbles and lots of mascara everywhere but where it should be.

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By *xyzptlk088Man
over a year ago

Galway

OH by the way OP tut tut tut you're a bad bad man.hope that answers your question

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Poor girl has fallen for you. If shes not into this lifestyle, probably best to let her go gently before more upset

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So i met a girl in a bar few weeks back, shes only 20 and im late 20's. i agreed to take her out then decided after the first date that i was not interested in anything long term.

i messaged her after and said, i had a good night tonight, but right now i am not after anything serious, if you fancy some fun together that would be cool

she replied saying she was happy with some fun, so i have took her out for tea, had some fun at mine and took her away for the night.

i have now been accused of messing with her head, have i?:S

i appreciate she is only young"
you're both only young and this stuff messes with people's heads yes ,get used to it looks like you've got a few more to upset yet but I liked the meal touch shows you are generous and don't mind the social side

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I'd apologise and say you didn't intend to mess with her head and thought you'd been clear about what you wanted and then not see her again, she obviously isn't listening.

This! Do you really need the drama?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Taking her oot and away for the night probably gave her mix signals..If it's just sent you want ..then just sex it is but going oot she probably read more into it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. You are in the wrong. At that age, I would have seen it as leading me on- had I been in the same situation. You slept with her before deciding you didn't want anything serious, I assume? In vanilla dating girls see that as meaning something. You bad lad- you should know better!

(There- thats what you were expecting someone to say, right?

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op , you could try apologising to her and tell her you are happy to make it up to her .

Ask her if she has a bi fem mate that she can bring along for the next date .

That should make things clearer for her with regard to your feelings .

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

My first thought was....

Has she got a sister into older guys. ??

In her eyes you are... in your eyes you're not..

Drama is for jezzae Kyle... If it'slike this now..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have been honest with her and admitted you only want fun. She has also been honest with you and said she has feelings for you. Unless you change your mind this can only have one outcome and it's going to get messy.

Do the right thing and walk way. Fast! The longer it goes on the harder it will be on her. What you are describing is not fun but a train crash waiting to happen.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I find every time a FWB falls for you if sex is all you wanted and that was clear from the start you should walk away otherwise it's leading them on. Apologise and say goodbye so you can both chalk it up to a lesson learned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP. she's a women. Don't even try to understand what goes on in their heads.

There ain't an almanac big enough to explain.

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By *ch WellMan
over a year ago

Scotland

You're a single bloke so yes, you're in the wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the meals and going away for the night blew it!

Just casual sex is taking her back to yours at the end of the night, having fun then dropping her back home! No breakie!

At her young age anything less than extreme black and white can be a head fuck!

I agree with the others, you need to say goodbye before she becomes a stage one clinger!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wowed her with your willy.

You're going to have to marry her now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had this on fab a couple of times. Always with women under 25.

They meet on a swinging site. Agree it is just "fun" and then complain if you see anyone else for fun and make it clear they want some kind of exclusivity.... They are called bunny boilers. Seems you may have found one. Unless you can sort it firmly and quickly then you should walk away!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love to hear her side off 'events' .

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had this on fab a couple of times. Always with women under 25.

Very mature _iew of women you have there! So if a woman wants exclusivity and is open about it she's a bunny boiler? Lovely to see you generalising about all women who maybe looking for something different. Some men (not saying the OP) get off on being total head fuckrrs. Especially on here. Not necessarily the women's fault.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

some people state they can cope with NSA sex and they can't.

end it.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"I've had this on fab a couple of times. Always with women under 25.

But the OP didn't meet her on a swinging site he meet her on a night out and asked her in a date initially. If was after the date he said he wanted just sex yet continued to give their meets a date like element each time so it could be confusing for someone of such a young influential age not every 20 year old is mature enough to handle that situation without feeling entering into the equation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd apologise and say you didn't intend to mess with her head and thought you'd been clear about what you wanted and then not see her again, she obviously isn't listening.

Love to hear her side of the events.

Good advice. Trying to placate or fix inveriably makes it worse. But apologise at all costs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had this on fab a couple of times. Always with women under 25.

I have no problem with women wanting exclusivity. Like I said, and like the OP said it was made CLEAR at the outset that it is just fun...nothing more. The women in question agreed this was all they wanted, then like with the OP tried to flip it around. I thought that was VERY clear in my initial post?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They met me on a swinging site....not the OP.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"I've had this on fab a couple of times. Always with women under 25.

It was only made clear after a vanilla date so that wasn't really from the outset.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had this on fab a couple of times. Always with women under 25.

Some women (of all ages) seem to think they can lure men in, that only want sex, with sex, then make them want more. This has never worked - contrary to what women believe - men know what they want. If they say they're not looking for a relationship - they're not. Not with you anyhow.

If they say they want fun - they want fun. Nsa fun.

Men are mostly straightforward creatures and don't play the mind games women do.

I learned this at a pretty young age thank god - saved a lot of heartache.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had this on fab a couple of times. Always with women under 25.

Women who want exclusivity are not all bunny boilers. Tho it suits some men to thro that line about. Excuses their crap behaviour and throws the blame back at the woman. Sadly this is rife on here (and that is why I only fuck women on here)

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

not a great liker of the term 'bunny boiler' but there are people clinging onto NSA in the hope it turns into something else. It doesn't make them a bad person, just maybe destined to more hurt.

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"So i met a girl in a bar few weeks back, shes only 20 and im late 20's. i agreed to take her out then decided after the first date that i was not interested in anything long term.

i messaged her after and said, i had a good night tonight, but right now i am not after anything serious, if you fancy some fun together that would be cool

she replied saying she was happy with some fun, so i have took her out for tea, had some fun at mine and took her away for the night.

i have now been accused of messing with her head, have i?:S

i appreciate she is only young"

Sometimes shit happens. There does not always have to be a wrong party.

Ignore the misandrist idiots on here and the immature misogynists.

She wants one thing and you want another, the two seem irreconcilable so it is best to go your separate ways.

Sadly it is usually difficult to do that without some upset but I doubt very much you will cause any long term damage. Some people, when upset, need to find a way to blame the other. Don't worry about that and just make sure you do what you think is right.

And ignore the man hating pricks and sexist blokes who think that one sentence can sum up an entire gender.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its hard to tell from the OP but I'm assuming that the night I question went a little along the lines of; he said he just wants fun, she agrees. Then over the course of the night he's flirty, chatty, warm and intimate. Pays her compliments and finally a night together.

To him his original statement explains his actions and covers him from any repercussions. To her his subsequent actions counter his original statement.

Its her age and she's reading what she wants from the situation which is a relationship. You're best to just walk away

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By *issyfaggotfayeTV/TS
over a year ago

Bolton

In reality, "wanting a bit of fun" = let's fuck.

I suspect her youth leads her to being needy. Easiest solution is to sever ties I think

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

You sound like you were totally honest with her, but I would maybe not see her again, as you both want different things.

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