FabSwingers.com forum: 13% of divorces

By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Reading my Christmas eve paper this morning the national office of statistics says that infidelity is stated as the main reason for divorce in 13% of cases with unreasonable behaviour at something like 58%.

That surprised me a little. Is infidelity less common than fab forums would have us believe or are people less likely to see it as reason for divorce?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Reading my Christmas eve paper this morning the national office of statistics says that infidelity is stated as the main reason for divorce in 13% of cases with unreasonable behaviour at something like 58%.

That surprised me a little. Is infidelity less common than fab forums would have us believe or are people less likely to see it as reason for divorce?"

If both people are agreeable people just choose the one that will cause least problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe couples get over infidelity easier than unreasonable behaviour?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I think it's less likely a reason for divorce.

I know people who!have "worked through" infidelity..

But I am surprised it's only 13%

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By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

That surprised me a little. Is infidelity less common than fab forums would have us believe or are people less likely to see it as reason for divorce?

If both people are agreeable people just choose the one that will cause least problem."

Oh yes! I hadn't thought of that.

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By *lacksausageMan
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport

Infidelity can be likened to terrorism.

It is hard to detect,deter and police.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suspect that if so many are for unreasonable behaviour, that's possibly an indication of the most straightforward way to get a divorce more than anything else

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Do you not have to name the person they had an affair with when getting a divorce I know you used to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My divorce was done on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour, it was amusing the reasons he put down, even though the real reason was infidelity on his part. A lot of it may be down to there is less stigma on unreasonable behaviour as it could be anything, so more people use that option for a quicker divorce.

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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago

Bedworth

"I suspect that if so many are for unreasonable behaviour, that's possibly an indication of the most straightforward way to get a divorce more than anything else"

It's most definitely the easiest grounds for divorce. I left my ex husband when I had an affair with the man I'm now married to. Despite it being me who had committed adultery, the easiest course of action was for me to divorce him for unreasonable behaviour.

We discussed what I would put on the divorce papers and agreed on it before they were submitted so that there were no nasty shocks for either of us. It was all very amicable and we didn't even need to line the pockets of solicitors

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By *lacksausageMan
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport

"Maybe couples get over infidelity easier than unreasonable behaviour?"

But then who defines unreasonable behaviour?

what do u think of these:

loud snoring

d*unkenness

staying out late

condoms in pocket/wallet/handbag

strange cars dropping the other off

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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago

Derby

My ex promised me a quick, easy and amicable divorce if I divorced on unreasonable behaviour rather than adultery.

So that's what I did... mind you, the financial settlement was a different ball game, and she made it as hard as possible for me to see my children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/12/15 11:36:33]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Infidelity can be likened to terrorism.

It is hard to detect,deter and police."

Most Random comparison I've seen in a while..

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By *lacksausageMan
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport

"My ex promised me a quick, easy and amicable divorce if I divorced on unreasonable behaviour rather than adultery.

So that's what I did... mind you, the financial settlement was a different ball game, and she made it as hard as possible for me to see my children. "

Poor thing. Should have listened to your driving instructor: at the roundabout, trust no FUCKER!

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By *lacksausageMan
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport

"Infidelity can be likened to terrorism.

It is hard to detect,deter and police.

Most Random comparison I've seen in a while.."

And you claim to live in weirdo manor! tch tch tch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Infidelity can be likened to terrorism.

It is hard to detect,deter and police.

Most Random comparison I've seen in a while..

And you claim to live in weirdo manor! tch tch tch

Ah but I do

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Do you have to be an infidel to qualify for infidelity?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Reading these forums about ex's and the despair, game playing, point scoring, fucking their kids heads up: thank fuck I am single

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By *lacksausageMan
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport

"Do you have to be an infidel to qualify for infidelity?

Only when we start seeing a lot of leggings on the legacy.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Reading these forums about ex's and the despair, game playing, point scoring, fucking their kids heads up: thank fuck I am single"

I'm with you. I used to work for civil lawyers and reading some of the divorce cases I'm really glad never to have been in that boat. People can be truly vile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

50% of marriages end in divorce, so the rest end in death?

There really is no good outcome to getting married is there

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I divorced the ex for his adultery. I named the 3rd party involved too.

It's all down to evidence - I had screen shots of texts & photos from his phone which proved he had cheated.

Unreasonable behaviour is the easiest reason to give with 4-6 examples. It's whatever the applicant seems to be unreasonable.

Ours was all done amicably - I drafted the papers, he checked & agreed them with minor amendments. No solicitors involved. 4 months start to finish. I made him pay the Court fee.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unreasonable behaviour will always be the main reason. It can mean anything. ...even very ordinary things...years of leaving the loo seat up....picking your nose whilst driving. It is the ultimate get out clause. Divorce law is mostly pretty daft...if one party wants out...you should not need often made up reasons to get out.

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By *lacksausageMan
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport

"Unreasonable behaviour will always be the main reason. It can mean anything. ...even very ordinary things...years of leaving the loo seat up....picking your nose whilst driving. It is the ultimate get out clause. Divorce law is mostly pretty daft...if one party wants out...you should not need often made up reasons to get out. "

So therefor, I have this question. Does the reason for divorce have anything to do with settlement and court fees etc? Does guilt affect who pays what or who gets what?

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

[Removed by poster at 26/12/15 12:28:55]

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

So therefor, I have this question. Does the reason for divorce have anything to do with settlement and court fees etc? Does guilt affect who pays what or who gets what?"

Every case is different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So therefor, I have this question. Does the reason for divorce have anything to do with settlement and court fees etc? Does guilt affect who pays what or who gets what?"

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

unreasonable behaviour can actually include adultary... its just that unreasonable behaviour is an easier path to a quick divorce and settlement than accusing someone of adultary was......

i would bet a lot of the cases at the "rich end" of the spectrum tend to have some sort of adultary component as it means the wronged party is entitled to a much larger payout......

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By *lacksausageMan
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport

So, if I were married and I walked home to meet my wife responding to the serious poundings of another man and I then called it quits and threw the book at her, would she be entitled to a part of my 350pounds in the bank and my BMW 7 series(which I haven't finished paying for)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I suspect that if so many are for unreasonable behaviour, that's possibly an indication of the most straightforward way to get a divorce more than anything else"

This. It's like saying that the most common reason a woman doesn't want sex is a 'headache'. It easier than describing the real reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure that divorce settlement should be based on the reasons...unreasonable behaviour or adultery. Just like the criminal law should not be motivated by revenge. If my kids were hurt or worse I'd no doubt hate and seek revenge on the perpetrator but wrath is not the answer..and the law should not act with that passion. Where we would end up if it did...hanging...stoning...!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive been helping a friend who has limited english with her divorce recently and the unreasonable behaviour is definitely he way to go..it all seems ridiculously over complicated to me..and as far as im aware the reason cited doesn't have any bearing on the settlement.

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

"So, if I were married and I walked home to meet my wife responding to the serious poundings of another man and I then called it quits and threw the book at her, would she be entitled to a part of my 350pounds in the bank and my BMW 7 series(which I haven't finished paying for)

I'm no legal expert but I'd suggest you give her half and retain the payments on the beemer.

simply because it'll cost you a lot more to fight it... Then do you really want her saying in court. "Even though his pathetic 1 inch penis couldn't satisfy me when he tried he hadn't shown me any attention in 5 years. He was unreasonable and I was forced to seek pleasure elsewhere. The emotional turmoil he put me through is nothing compared to my one single indescrection"... Etc etc. Which is why most accept they are going to have to pay up. Just do it amicably.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Two points:

1/ 'Unreasonable behaviour' is the least complicated grounds for divorce

2/ if infidelity is common on Fab, maybe the population sample is a skewed one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would talking through the duration of Dr who be considered "unreasonable " ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would talking through the duration of Dr who be considered "unreasonable " ?"

No but being made to watch it by your partner would be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would talking through the duration of Dr who be considered "unreasonable " ?

No but being made to watch it by your partner would be "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure that divorce settlement should be based on the reasons...unreasonable behaviour or adultery. Just like the criminal law should not be motivated by revenge. If my kids were hurt or worse I'd no doubt hate and seek revenge on the perpetrator but wrath is not the answer..and the law should not act with that passion. Where we would end up if it did...hanging...stoning...! "

It is extremely rare for the grounds for the divorce to have any bearing whatsoever on the financial settlement. It would have to be extreme for it to count and, even then, in the vast majority of cases there is so little money to go around that it makes no difference.

The grounds for divorce were a 1970's compromise between church and state which is why (state ultimately prevailing), you can divorce on the grounds of 2 years separation with consent or 5 years separation without consent, without the need to allege any form of "fault."

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Two points:

1/ 'Unreasonable behaviour' is the least complicated grounds for divorce

2/ if infidelity is common on Fab, maybe the population sample is a skewed one?"

Scratch #1... I'm reliably informed that citing infidelity is the simplest way to get divorced. You don't even have to give the name of the 3rd party.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"Two points:

1/ 'Unreasonable behaviour' is the least complicated grounds for divorce

2/ if infidelity is common on Fab, maybe the population sample is a skewed one?

Scratch #1... I'm reliably informed that citing infidelity is the simplest way to get divorced. You don't even have to give the name of the 3rd party."

It is easiest if you have proof & other party agrees.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

According to my partner - who just did his divorce paperwork - you have to name the person they were cheating on you with on the paperwork.

Which is probably why most people just write 'unreasonable behaviour'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm reliably informed that citing infidelity is the simplest way to get divorced. You don't even have to give the name of the 3rd party."

There's nothing difficult about getting divorced if everyone is amicable and agrees on the divorce. My partner just filled in the paperwork, sent in the cheque, and it's done. Nothing else to it.

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

If you want an amicable divorce it's easier to say unreasonable behaviour.

Saves airing dirty laundry and the kids knowing all that shit.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I don't even know on what grounds my ex husband divorced me, will have to go through the paperwork to see but it wasn't infidelity I know that

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I do know it only took 4 months from start to finish

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Being pedantic but there is only 1 ground for divorce & that is irretrievable breakdown of the marriage for 1 of 5 facts - divorce being 1 of them.

A lot of divorce courts are merging too so divorces are taking longer to finalise.

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By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago

Wellington

I am so close to being divorced now! Only taken 5 years!!!! However I do believe you can only divorce on the grounds of adultery if divorce proceedings are started within the first 6 months if finding out! So my solicitor told me. We have gone down the route of unreasonable behaviour. I am guessing the figures stated are somewhat skewed depending on how soon you start proceedings after finding out?

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"I am so close to being divorced now! Only taken 5 years!!!! However I do believe you can only divorce on the grounds of adultery if divorce proceedings are started within the first 6 months if finding out! So my solicitor told me. We have gone down the route of unreasonable behaviour. I am guessing the figures stated are somewhat skewed depending on how soon you start proceedings after finding out?"

I filed for divorce 2 years ago - it was 20 months after he'd left.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"According to my partner - who just did his divorce paperwork - you have to name the person they were cheating on you with on the paperwork.

Which is probably why most people just write 'unreasonable behaviour'."

You don't. If you do name the other party, they too get served with the papers and they may decide to deny if costs are claimed or ir causes issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If kids are involved... the unreasonable behaviour is easier on them than adultery as a grounds for divorce. Keeps it simple and no other parties implicated for any reasons too.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"If kids are involved... the unreasonable behaviour is easier on them than adultery as a grounds for divorce. Keeps it simple and no other parties implicated for any reasons too."

Why? Divorce is sometimes the best thing for the children - it was for my sister & I with my parents.

My kids were 5 & 10 knew their dad had met someone else so there was no point in lying. I waited 20 months in some vain hope he'd see sense. She admitted it in the papers too but stated he was to pay the costs which we'd already agreed. I had no other reason to divorce him but his adultery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If kids are involved... the unreasonable behaviour is easier on them than adultery as a grounds for divorce. Keeps it simple and no other parties implicated for any reasons too."

Maybe but you do have to cite enough so that the district judge is satisfied that it amounts to unreasonable behaviour. Pinching your partner's chips will not do. Mind you, do any (right thinking) spouses ever involve their children in the details of a divorce?i

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

If there are no children involved, and both parties agree that they no longer want to be married, then just go for 'unreasonable behaviour' (regardless of any adultery or not). No point in airing one's dirty linen in public.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That surprised me a little. Is infidelity less common than fab forums would have us believe or are people less likely to see it as reason for divorce?"

Or most people divorce before thier infidelity is discovered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unreasonable behaviour is easier. You can state things like "he worked away too much" "his political _iews weren't shared with you". They don't have to be mean things. You can write the reasons together like we have. Don't forget your kids could request to see your divorce papers years later without your knowledge. Do you want your dirty linen aired?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"According to my partner - who just did his divorce paperwork - you have to name the person they were cheating on you with on the paperwork.

Which is probably why most people just write 'unreasonable behaviour'.

You don't. If you do name the other party, they too get served with the papers and they may decide to deny if costs are claimed or ir causes issues."

Yeah we just looked into it and realised we were mistaken. I can't believe we're the only person who thought you had to though, so perhaps that's one reason for that not often being listed as a reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless the other party admits adultery it can become expensive. You can divorce on unreasonable behaviour and still make reference to the adultery.

The fault of either party is irrelevant when considering financial matters unless it's real serious behaviour. Judges don't much care who did what to who, it's a paper exercise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unreasonable behaviour is easier. You can state things like "he worked away too much" "his political _iews weren't shared with you". They don't have to be mean things. You can write the reasons together like we have. Don't forget your kids could request to see your divorce papers years later without your knowledge. Do you want your dirty linen aired? "

I have never known children to request divorce papers and I think (though do not know) that they are, on the face of it, private apart from the Absolute which contains no details other than the grounds and not the details.

Does it matter? Two people who do not get on together anymore is what it amounts to, whatever the grounds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore.

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

My birth parents divorced due to my birth father's adultery. A long time ago, when the adulterous partner had to be named on the divorce papers. And I found the divorce papers when I was a young teenager. There is really no reason why a child should have to go through the feelings I went through. Irreconcilable differences is the way to go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore."

You can't ! You'd have to make up some grounds of behaviour but judge would probably question why you were still living together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"According to my partner - who just did his divorce paperwork - you have to name the person they were cheating on you with on the paperwork.

Which is probably why most people just write 'unreasonable behaviour'.

You don't. If you do name the other party, they too get served with the papers and they may decide to deny if costs are claimed or ir causes issues.

When I divorced my first wife, it was because of adultery, and I didn't name the 3rd party, simply because he was trying to get custody of his kids at the time, and he might have slept with my wife but his kids hadn't done anything to me, so why possibly hurt them, there's no point in hurting innocents for the sake of petty revenge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being pedantic but there is only 1 ground for divorce & that is irretrievable breakdown of the marriage for 1 of 5 facts - divorce being 1 of them.

Divorce is grounds for divorce??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore.

You can't ! You'd have to make up some grounds of behaviour but judge would probably question why you were still living together"

I thought a judge only got involved if both parties couldnt agree to a divorce?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore.

You can't ! You'd have to make up some grounds of behaviour but judge would probably question why you were still living together"

Weird. We were going to go to Las Vegas and get married for a laugh - just because it's something I always fancied doing. But had never considered that you wouldn't just be able to get divorced.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore.

You can't ! You'd have to make up some grounds of behaviour but judge would probably question why you were still living together

Weird. We were going to go to Las Vegas and get married for a laugh - just because it's something I always fancied doing. But had never considered that you wouldn't just be able to get divorced."

You could just get it annulled the morning after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore.

You can't ! You'd have to make up some grounds of behaviour but judge would probably question why you were still living together

Weird. We were going to go to Las Vegas and get married for a laugh - just because it's something I always fancied doing. But had never considered that you wouldn't just be able to get divorced.

You could just get it annulled the morning after"

Nope. You have to prove that the marriage was void and there's a choice of reasons.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"Being pedantic but there is only 1 ground for divorce & that is irretrievable breakdown of the marriage for 1 of 5 facts - divorce being 1 of them.

Divorce is grounds for divorce??"

Oops typo! Adultery is one of the 5 facts

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore.

You can't ! You'd have to make up some grounds of behaviour but judge would probably question why you were still living together

Weird. We were going to go to Las Vegas and get married for a laugh - just because it's something I always fancied doing. But had never considered that you wouldn't just be able to get divorced.

You could just get it annulled the morning after

Nope. You have to prove that the marriage was void and there's a choice of reasons."

And it can't have been consummated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore.

You can't ! You'd have to make up some grounds of behaviour but judge would probably question why you were still living together

Weird. We were going to go to Las Vegas and get married for a laugh - just because it's something I always fancied doing. But had never considered that you wouldn't just be able to get divorced.

You could just get it annulled the morning after

Nope. You have to prove that the marriage was void and there's a choice of reasons."

You were d*unk,you've not consumated it?

Youre both in it together you can pick any reason you like off the list its not like your partner is going to deny the reason is it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore.

You can't ! You'd have to make up some grounds of behaviour but judge would probably question why you were still living together

Weird. We were going to go to Las Vegas and get married for a laugh - just because it's something I always fancied doing. But had never considered that you wouldn't just be able to get divorced."

You can't just divorce because the marriage has broken down. It was a compromise between church and state. You need to show that the marriage has irretrievably broken down and one of

1. Unreasonable behaviour

2. Adultery

3. Desertion for 2 years

4. 2 years separation with consent to divorce

5. 5 years separation

Not difficult in most instances. Most people accept that it is over and do not contest (which would in any event involve pain and potentially high legal bills and would not rescue the relationship).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore.

You can't ! You'd have to make up some grounds of behaviour but judge would probably question why you were still living together

Weird. We were going to go to Las Vegas and get married for a laugh - just because it's something I always fancied doing. But had never considered that you wouldn't just be able to get divorced.

You can't just divorce because the marriage has broken down. It was a compromise between church and state. You need to show that the marriage has irretrievably broken down and one of

1. Unreasonable behaviour

2. Adultery

3. Desertion for 2 years

4. 2 years separation with consent to divorce

5. 5 years separation

Not difficult in most instances. Most people accept that it is over and do not contest (which would in any event involve pain and potentially high legal bills and would not rescue the relationship)."

Out of curiosity had a judge ever refused a divorce when the other party hasnt contested?

I csnt quite seea judge saying "no you two must stay married"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore.

You can't ! You'd have to make up some grounds of behaviour but judge would probably question why you were still living together

Weird. We were going to go to Las Vegas and get married for a laugh - just because it's something I always fancied doing. But had never considered that you wouldn't just be able to get divorced."

Bigamy is a serious offence so do not consider it. Voiding a marriage/annulment is only valid where heterosexual penetrative sex has not taken place. Church stuff, again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore.

You can't ! You'd have to make up some grounds of behaviour but judge would probably question why you were still living together

Weird. We were going to go to Las Vegas and get married for a laugh - just because it's something I always fancied doing. But had never considered that you wouldn't just be able to get divorced.

You could just get it annulled the morning after

Nope. You have to prove that the marriage was void and there's a choice of reasons.

You were d*unk,you've not consumated it?

Youre both in it together you can pick any reason you like off the list its not like your partner is going to deny the reason is it?

Yeah... I'm not really into lying. That's the thing.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore.

You can't ! You'd have to make up some grounds of behaviour but judge would probably question why you were still living together

Weird. We were going to go to Las Vegas and get married for a laugh - just because it's something I always fancied doing. But had never considered that you wouldn't just be able to get divorced.

You can't just divorce because the marriage has broken down. It was a compromise between church and state. You need to show that the marriage has irretrievably broken down and one of

1. Unreasonable behaviour

2. Adultery

3. Desertion for 2 years

4. 2 years separation with consent to divorce

5. 5 years separation

Not difficult in most instances. Most people accept that it is over and do not contest (which would in any event involve pain and potentially high legal bills and would not rescue the relationship).

Out of curiosity had a judge ever refused a divorce when the other party hasnt contested?

I csnt quite seea judge saying "no you two must stay married""

Oooohhhh good question! Google?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bigamy is a serious offence so do not consider it. Voiding a marriage/annulment is only valid where heterosexual penetrative sex has not taken place. Church stuff, again."

I'm not planning on committing bigamy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore.

You can't ! You'd have to make up some grounds of behaviour but judge would probably question why you were still living together

Weird. We were going to go to Las Vegas and get married for a laugh - just because it's something I always fancied doing. But had never considered that you wouldn't just be able to get divorced.

You can't just divorce because the marriage has broken down. It was a compromise between church and state. You need to show that the marriage has irretrievably broken down and one of

1. Unreasonable behaviour

2. Adultery

3. Desertion for 2 years

4. 2 years separation with consent to divorce

5. 5 years separation

Not difficult in most instances. Most people accept that it is over and do not contest (which would in any event involve pain and potentially high legal bills and would not rescue the relationship).

Out of curiosity had a judge ever refused a divorce when the other party hasnt contested?

I csnt quite seea judge saying "no you two must stay married""

Very occasionally, when the divorce petition is based on unreasonable behaviour and the particulars are a bit crap. He stole my chips does not cut it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder what you would put down as a reason if you just didn't want to be married anymore.

Like, you still want to be together, you still want to live together, you just don't want to be married anymore.

You can't ! You'd have to make up some grounds of behaviour but judge would probably question why you were still living together

Weird. We were going to go to Las Vegas and get married for a laugh - just because it's something I always fancied doing. But had never considered that you wouldn't just be able to get divorced.

You could just get it annulled the morning after

Nope. You have to prove that the marriage was void and there's a choice of reasons.

You were d*unk,you've not consumated it?

Youre both in it together you can pick any reason you like off the list its not like your partner is going to deny the reason is it?

Yeah... I'm not really into lying. That's the thing."

Well if you were just planning on getting divorced the traditional vows would have been lies.

Just go and do the ceremony but dont sign any legal paperwork, if you only want it for the experence.

Sign a fake marrige license of your own design.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most go for unreasonable behaviour as it's easier for the purposes of divorce , infidelity is difficult to prove , this was the case with me as my ex had a 2 year affair but it was easier to go the unreasonable behaviour route , a divorce is a divorce at the end of the day. so statistics might be a little wrong compared to reality of situations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/12/15 20:26:57]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Judges rubber stamp the divorce paperwork and make sure it's all completed properly although actually I think these days the clerks do it and just hand to the judge for final stamp.

A judge can refuse if the grounds are not enough to.

You can choose to defend a divorce but reality is why bother, if it's over it's over! A judge would hear evidence and then make a decision as to whether it was over or not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forgive forget move on

Foundations are built on characters that cant change or reason with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the 58% are the ones that can't stop having affairs when found out the first time!

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By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The article mentioned some of the reasons stated in divorce cases, these included, husbands and wives treating their spouse like a child, habitually using patronising nicknames, doling out allowances referred to as pocket money, lax personal hygiene and preferring pets to partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That surprised me a little. Is infidelity less common than fab forums would have us believe or are people less likely to see it as reason for divorce?"

Perhaps it shows that although many people are 'cheating', it saves marriages?

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By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

That surprised me a little. Is infidelity less common than fab forums would have us believe or are people less likely to see it as reason for divorce?

Perhaps it shows that although many people are 'cheating', it saves marriages? "

A long time ago you and I discussed that and it gave me food for thought. I do think that in some circumstances that's true, life isn't all in neat boxes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That surprised me a little. Is infidelity less common than fab forums would have us believe or are people less likely to see it as reason for divorce?

Perhaps it shows that although many people are 'cheating', it saves marriages?

A long time ago you and I discussed that and it gave me food for thought. I do think that in some circumstances that's true, life isn't all in neat boxes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The article mentioned some of the reasons stated in divorce cases, these included, husbands and wives treating their spouse like a child, habitually using patronising nicknames, doling out allowances referred to as pocket money, lax personal hygiene and preferring pets to partners.

Yes I tick all those boxes. Luckily I've just moved out of the bunk bed into my first "big" bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great reasons to stay single.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great reasons to stay single.

how did you dig this up....were you the obsessive can't let things go type?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great reasons to stay single.

how did you dig this up....were you the obsessive can't let things go type?

I did a forum search.

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