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Granny's Keyboard Hospital.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Have you sipped coffee and then carelessy slopped all over your keyboard on the return to table arm action ?

No problem.

Simply, Say Oh fuck, Suck in residue coffee , turn keyboard upside down and wait while coffee runs into table cloth.

Say ... Thank fuck! Turn keyboard proper way up......notice Huge coffee stain on best table cloth ...... Say ..... Fuck it and return to forum.

More P.C. Tips will follow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crisp crumbs?

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Crisp crumbs? "

Use a nosebag when spitting in future.

In the meantime, turn keyboard upside down and bash heavily with a can of Stella.

Make sure you do this over a carrier bag or bin. Alternatively you could do it over an upturned Dyson.

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By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston

TBH Granny I take precautions...

I only use cheap (asda, tesco) keyboards and if I find a key stops working then rather than try expensive hospitalisation and cures I take the keyboard (mice too) into the back yard, douse with a flammable liquid and consign to a Viking send off...

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"TBH Granny I take precautions...

I only use cheap (asda, tesco) keyboards and if I find a key stops working then rather than try expensive hospitalisation and cures I take the keyboard (mice too) into the back yard, douse with a flammable liquid and consign to a Viking send off...

"

Odin says : Alternatively you could turn it over and bash it with your helmet.

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By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston


"Odin says : Alternatively you could turn it over and bash it with your helmet. "

LoL

My helmet is much too valuable to me to be misused in such a violent way...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Crisp crumbs?

Use a nosebag when spitting in future.

In the meantime, turn keyboard upside down and bash heavily with a can of Stella.

Make sure you do this over a carrier bag or bin. Alternatively you could do it over an upturned Dyson."

An empty Stella can?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Crisp crumbs?

Use a nosebag when spitting in future.

In the meantime, turn keyboard upside down and bash heavily with a can of Stella.

Make sure you do this over a carrier bag or bin. Alternatively you could do it over an upturned Dyson."

Hmmm Stella is out of bounds for me at the moment. My vest is in the wash.

Wonder if Diamond White will work the same?

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Crisp crumbs?

Use a nosebag when spitting in future.

In the meantime, turn keyboard upside down and bash heavily with a can of Stella.

Make sure you do this over a carrier bag or bin. Alternatively you could do it over an upturned Dyson.

An empty Stella can? "

No. Frozen solid for greater impact

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Crisp crumbs?

Use a nosebag when spitting in future.

In the meantime, turn keyboard upside down and bash heavily with a can of Stella.

Make sure you do this over a carrier bag or bin. Alternatively you could do it over an upturned Dyson.

Hmmm Stella is out of bounds for me at the moment. My vest is in the wash.

Wonder if Diamond White will work the same?"

2 litres and above should work just fine.

String vest ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Crisp crumbs?

Use a nosebag when spitting in future.

In the meantime, turn keyboard upside down and bash heavily with a can of Stella.

Make sure you do this over a carrier bag or bin. Alternatively you could do it over an upturned Dyson.

Hmmm Stella is out of bounds for me at the moment. My vest is in the wash.

Wonder if Diamond White will work the same?

2 litres and above should work just fine.

String vest ?"

It's a pretend wife beater.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Crisp crumbs?

Use a nosebag when spitting in future.

In the meantime, turn keyboard upside down and bash heavily with a can of Stella.

Make sure you do this over a carrier bag or bin. Alternatively you could do it over an upturned Dyson.

Hmmm Stella is out of bounds for me at the moment. My vest is in the wash.

Wonder if Diamond White will work the same?

2 litres and above should work just fine.

String vest ?

It's a pretend wife beater. "

That explains the lattice sun tan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Crisp crumbs?

Use a nosebag when spitting in future.

In the meantime, turn keyboard upside down and bash heavily with a can of Stella.

Make sure you do this over a carrier bag or bin. Alternatively you could do it over an upturned Dyson.

Hmmm Stella is out of bounds for me at the moment. My vest is in the wash.

Wonder if Diamond White will work the same?

2 litres and above should work just fine.

String vest ?

It's a pretend wife beater.

That explains the lattice sun tan"

Shame it's not a uniform pattern. Old dried egg clogged some of the holes up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Crisp crumbs?

Use a nosebag when spitting in future.

In the meantime, turn keyboard upside down and bash heavily with a can of Stella.

Make sure you do this over a carrier bag or bin. Alternatively you could do it over an upturned Dyson.

Hmmm Stella is out of bounds for me at the moment. My vest is in the wash.

Wonder if Diamond White will work the same?

2 litres and above should work just fine.

String vest ?

It's a pretend wife beater.

That explains the lattice sun tan

Shame it's not a uniform pattern. Old dried egg clogged some of the holes up. "

Egg ? If you say so! Never any yolk though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Crisp crumbs?

Use a nosebag when spitting in future.

In the meantime, turn keyboard upside down and bash heavily with a can of Stella.

Make sure you do this over a carrier bag or bin. Alternatively you could do it over an upturned Dyson.

An empty Stella can?

No. Frozen solid for greater impact"

That would mean not drinking it while it's in the freezer. That's gonna be a challenge

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I knew someone who wanked at his desk and shot a bit too far and covered his keyboard.

Had to take all the keys off to wash and fix it.

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