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Honesty

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

How do you feel about it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you feel about it?"
Very important!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"How do you feel about it?"

Honestly? It's quite important although I've learnt over the years to say 'no, your bum doesn't look big in that'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vague question....I'm skeptical of vague questions.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the best policy...

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London


"It's the best policy..."

Only when lying isn't an option

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty is always best .Liars have to have very good memories or eventually they get found out .

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

Dishonesty causes so much pain and mistrust. It's not worth it

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Is the best policy...

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

...unless you are a crook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's the best policy...

Only when lying isn't an option

"

Or when communicating with your ex-wife...

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I can't stand someone lying to me, but when I say lie, I don't mean a little untruth I mean something that could change my mind or affect my decision on something, there gone out my life without a second thought u less its someone I'm close too then I'd have to really question and found out why they needed to lie.

I think I'm pretty honest and open, apaert from small things like when someone asks if your OK and you say yes or I maybe a little diplomatic when saying something.

Being honest doesmt mean you have to be brutal or nasty

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Feed me bullshit and I will either hunt you down like a dog, or totally ignore you for evermore

It has been done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just take people as to be full of shit, 2 faced, knobhead, hardly ever disappointed then...

On here i put what i'm looking for and not looking for, i don't expect peoples life stories but i expect them not to lie to me to get sex. Might not be realistic of me but i need sex so hoping they respect that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty? Something people claim to like until they hear it.

J/k - have no time for self-serving liars

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you feel about it?"

How do you feel about it OP?

C'mon be honest?

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Yes truthfulness and honesty are very good but sometimes everyone has to lie and being an effective liar is a good life skill to have.

Just ask all those politicians and bankers.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Vague question....I'm skeptical of vague questions.

-Courtney"

Oh!? I was deliberately vague it means so many things to people

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

It depends if we are talking relationships or the tax man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you feel about it?"
probably overrated on fab

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By *heorgasmaddictMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Another fascinating forum debate!

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"How do you feel about it?

How do you feel about it OP?

C'mon be honest? "

I feel that honesty is the only way you can have any sort of successful relationship.

However it should be tempered with respect and kindness.

I also don't see much point in telling someone they look dreadful once you arrive at a restaurant but if the day before you go you are shown a ghastly outfit honesty is ok.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"It depends if we are talking relationships or the tax man "

both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is the only option when you have the memory of a goldfish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its all shades..

Feeling that you have been honest and being honest are not always the same!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I respect honesty, even if it's a home truth, but there is that brand of honesty, were people are honest with the intent of being hurtful, I think we all know one of those people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like it. Im not 100% honest all of the time though. Somethings are better left unsaid xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Vague question....I'm skeptical of vague questions.

-Courtney

Oh!? I was deliberately vague it means so many things to people "

I guessed that you were deliberately vague. But I wasn't sure whether you meant honesty as a concept, honesty in relationships, honesty overall....I also wasn't sure what aspect of honesty you were questioning. People have written books on honesty, in many different subjects....so I feel that unless I have a direction then whatever I write will be vapid.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just take people as to be full of shit, 2 faced, knobhead, hardly ever disappointed then...

On here i put what i'm looking for and not looking for, i don't expect peoples life stories but i expect them not to lie to me to get sex. Might not be realistic of me but i need sex so hoping they respect that."

they will respect that you need sex hehe x

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Passionately when it comes to here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loaded vauge question, with information making it specific and completely changing the meaning being drip fed in later.

In short a dishonest starting point for a conversation.

Honesty is too broad a term.

Is your husband dishonest and so the relationship doomed if he's doing something secret at work and so doesn't tell you or tells you a lie about what he did that day?

Is it dishonest to say "I'm fine" when you're not but you really don't want to get into a long drawn out discussion where they try to winkle information out of you?

Is all honesty equal or needed?

If there is someone at work you very much dislike are you required ,so as not to lie by omission, to walk up to them and tell them you think they're an arsehole? w

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"is the only option when you have the memory of a goldfish "

That's not a bad thing!

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Vague question....I'm skeptical of vague questions.

-Courtney

Oh!? I was deliberately vague it means so many things to people

I guessed that you were deliberately vague. But I wasn't sure whether you meant honesty as a concept, honesty in relationships, honesty overall....I also wasn't sure what aspect of honesty you were questioning. People have written books on honesty, in many different subjects....so I feel that unless I have a direction then whatever I write will be vapid.

-Courtney"

Honesty overall I think. I just really wanted to see how people regard it, feel about it, what it means to them.

I have no ulterior motive I'm not suddenly going to decry a section of fab or society. Just something for a Monday afternoon

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"How do you feel about it?

How do you feel about it OP?

C'mon be honest?

I feel that honesty is the only way you can have any sort of successful relationship.

However it should be tempered with respect and kindness.

I also don't see much point in telling someone they look dreadful once you arrive at a restaurant but if the day before you go you are shown a ghastly outfit honesty is ok."

Yes, and even then there are ways and ways 'Yeah that one looks Ok but the black one looks fabulous on you, I'd go with that instead...'

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Loaded vauge question, with information making it specific and completely changing the meaning being drip fed in later.

In short a dishonest starting point for a conversation.

Honesty is too broad a term.

Is your husband dishonest and so the relationship doomed if he's doing something secret at work and so doesn't tell you or tells you a lie about what he did that day?

Is it dishonest to say "I'm fine" when you're not but you really don't want to get into a long drawn out discussion where they try to winkle information out of you?

Is all honesty equal or needed?

If there is someone at work you very much dislike are you required ,so as not to lie by omission, to walk up to them and tell them you think they're an arsehole? w

"

I didn't intend it to be a loaded question. I have nothing to drip feed to change the meaning.

Your other points are valid and interesting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Vague question....I'm skeptical of vague questions.

-Courtney

Oh!? I was deliberately vague it means so many things to people

I guessed that you were deliberately vague. But I wasn't sure whether you meant honesty as a concept, honesty in relationships, honesty overall....I also wasn't sure what aspect of honesty you were questioning. People have written books on honesty, in many different subjects....so I feel that unless I have a direction then whatever I write will be vapid.

-Courtney

Honesty overall I think. I just really wanted to see how people regard it, feel about it, what it means to them.

I have no ulterior motive I'm not suddenly going to decry a section of fab or society. Just something for a Monday afternoon "

Ok, well then the way I see it, honesty is such an interesting thing. People like to think it is a positive thing, but I believe that just like most things, it can't be removed from context. I like to think that I am honest when it matters, but I won't tell a good friend of mine that her haircut looks like shit if it does and there is nothing she can do to fix it, for example.

Would I prefer that people are honest with me? Yes, of course, but again, when being honest just amounts to being mean, then I'd rather not hear it.

Scientists have done studies of lying and deception in children. They found that the more academically advanced children were more likely to lie about things - that deception is a form of cognitive enhancement. We have, essentially, evolved to lie, at least in some cases, because it is key to survival. I find this very interesting. We might ask ourselves why?

As far as relationships go, I find honesty to be paramount. It is up there, and perhaps one with, communication. Without it, the parties in a relationship (whether it be a romantic relationship or a platonic one) are not on an even playing field.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heard a great song lyric the other week that seems to fit. .

'A lie is just a truth that you need'

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Honesty all the way dishonesty does not get any where except hurt feelings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Feed me bullshit and I will either hunt you down like a dog, or totally ignore you for evermore

It has been done "

.

I bet you went for option B though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Vague question....I'm skeptical of vague questions.

-Courtney

Oh!? I was deliberately vague it means so many things to people

I guessed that you were deliberately vague. But I wasn't sure whether you meant honesty as a concept, honesty in relationships, honesty overall....I also wasn't sure what aspect of honesty you were questioning. People have written books on honesty, in many different subjects....so I feel that unless I have a direction then whatever I write will be vapid.

-Courtney

Honesty overall I think. I just really wanted to see how people regard it, feel about it, what it means to them.

I have no ulterior motive I'm not suddenly going to decry a section of fab or society. Just something for a Monday afternoon

Ok, well then the way I see it, honesty is such an interesting thing. People like to think it is a positive thing, but I believe that just like most things, it can't be removed from context. I like to think that I am honest when it matters, but I won't tell a good friend of mine that her haircut looks like shit if it does and there is nothing she can do to fix it, for example.

Would I prefer that people are honest with me? Yes, of course, but again, when being honest just amounts to being mean, then I'd rather not hear it.

Scientists have done studies of lying and deception in children. They found that the more academically advanced children were more likely to lie about things - that deception is a form of cognitive enhancement. We have, essentially, evolved to lie, at least in some cases, because it is key to survival. I find this very interesting. We might ask ourselves why?

As far as relationships go, I find honesty to be paramount. It is up there, and perhaps one with, communication. Without it, the parties in a relationship (whether it be a romantic relationship or a platonic one) are not on an even playing field.

-Courtney"

It's fairly obvious why.

Lying about your capabilities, knowledge and possessions gives you an edge.

It's getting to be a very harsh year food wise someone asks you if you know where any food is you very convincingly say no and that you're starving too.

You then sneak off to that patch of nuts you found a while ago and secretly gather them up. There's not many but it's just enough to mean your partner has enough nutrition to make enough milk to keep your new born child alive that winter

Without the ability to lie your child and genes would have died.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's interesting here is many people's examples are about looks/fasion/style.

And imply that their personal opinion is the only correct one.

You may think a person's outfit looks awful and you should tell them to save them embarrassment. But they may love it they may think it looks incredible (ands my others) you being honest does not mean you're saying the truth.

Only what you think is the truth.

Just look at any catwalk fashion show, a large number of people will say "of they look stupid what the he'll are they wearing" but the fashion media will be raving about these new outrageous designs the next day.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"What's interesting here is many people's examples are about looks/fasion/style.

And imply that their personal opinion is the only correct one.

You may think a person's outfit looks awful and you should tell them to save them embarrassment. But they may love it they may think it looks incredible (ands my others) you being honest does not mean you're saying the truth.

Only what you think is the truth.

Just look at any catwalk fashion show, a large number of people will say "of they look stupid what the he'll are they wearing" but the fashion media will be raving about these new outrageous designs the next day.

"

True. But if someone asks you can only tell them your truth. I try and work on the basis that if someone doesn't ask they don't want my input.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Vague question....I'm skeptical of vague questions.

-Courtney

Oh!? I was deliberately vague it means so many things to people

I guessed that you were deliberately vague. But I wasn't sure whether you meant honesty as a concept, honesty in relationships, honesty overall....I also wasn't sure what aspect of honesty you were questioning. People have written books on honesty, in many different subjects....so I feel that unless I have a direction then whatever I write will be vapid.

-Courtney

Honesty overall I think. I just really wanted to see how people regard it, feel about it, what it means to them.

I have no ulterior motive I'm not suddenly going to decry a section of fab or society. Just something for a Monday afternoon

Ok, well then the way I see it, honesty is such an interesting thing. People like to think it is a positive thing, but I believe that just like most things, it can't be removed from context. I like to think that I am honest when it matters, but I won't tell a good friend of mine that her haircut looks like shit if it does and there is nothing she can do to fix it, for example.

Would I prefer that people are honest with me? Yes, of course, but again, when being honest just amounts to being mean, then I'd rather not hear it.

Scientists have done studies of lying and deception in children. They found that the more academically advanced children were more likely to lie about things - that deception is a form of cognitive enhancement. We have, essentially, evolved to lie, at least in some cases, because it is key to survival. I find this very interesting. We might ask ourselves why?

As far as relationships go, I find honesty to be paramount. It is up there, and perhaps one with, communication. Without it, the parties in a relationship (whether it be a romantic relationship or a platonic one) are not on an even playing field.

-Courtney

It's fairly obvious why.

Lying about your capabilities, knowledge and possessions gives you an edge.

It's getting to be a very harsh year food wise someone asks you if you know where any food is you very convincingly say no and that you're starving too.

You then sneak off to that patch of nuts you found a while ago and secretly gather them up. There's not many but it's just enough to mean your partner has enough nutrition to make enough milk to keep your new born child alive that winter

Without the ability to lie your child and genes would have died.

"

.

Early humans would have been pack animals though wouldn't they?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Vague question....I'm skeptical of vague questions.

-Courtney

Oh!? I was deliberately vague it means so many things to people

I guessed that you were deliberately vague. But I wasn't sure whether you meant honesty as a concept, honesty in relationships, honesty overall....I also wasn't sure what aspect of honesty you were questioning. People have written books on honesty, in many different subjects....so I feel that unless I have a direction then whatever I write will be vapid.

-Courtney

Honesty overall I think. I just really wanted to see how people regard it, feel about it, what it means to them.

I have no ulterior motive I'm not suddenly going to decry a section of fab or society. Just something for a Monday afternoon

Ok, well then the way I see it, honesty is such an interesting thing. People like to think it is a positive thing, but I believe that just like most things, it can't be removed from context. I like to think that I am honest when it matters, but I won't tell a good friend of mine that her haircut looks like shit if it does and there is nothing she can do to fix it, for example.

Would I prefer that people are honest with me? Yes, of course, but again, when being honest just amounts to being mean, then I'd rather not hear it.

Scientists have done studies of lying and deception in children. They found that the more academically advanced children were more likely to lie about things - that deception is a form of cognitive enhancement. We have, essentially, evolved to lie, at least in some cases, because it is key to survival. I find this very interesting. We might ask ourselves why?

As far as relationships go, I find honesty to be paramount. It is up there, and perhaps one with, communication. Without it, the parties in a relationship (whether it be a romantic relationship or a platonic one) are not on an even playing field.

-Courtney

It's fairly obvious why.

Lying about your capabilities, knowledge and possessions gives you an edge.

It's getting to be a very harsh year food wise someone asks you if you know where any food is you very convincingly say no and that you're starving too.

You then sneak off to that patch of nuts you found a while ago and secretly gather them up. There's not many but it's just enough to mean your partner has enough nutrition to make enough milk to keep your new born child alive that winter

Without the ability to lie your child and genes would have died.

.

Early humans would have been pack animals though wouldn't they?.

"

Interestingly enough, in one such study that I saw, the children were with an adult who ate something that the child was told my another adult not to touch. When the first adult came back in the room and asked what happened to the treat, the children who lied did so to save the adult who had eaten the treat - not to gained any direct advantage to themselves.

-Courtney

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"...unless you are a crook "

And I'm not...honestly

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I can't stand someone lying to me, but when I say lie, I don't mean a little untruth I mean something that could change my mind or affect my decision on something, there gone out my life without a second thought u less its someone I'm close too then I'd have to really question and found out why they needed to lie.

I think I'm pretty honest and open, apaert from small things like when someone asks if your OK and you say yes or I maybe a little diplomatic when saying something.

Being honest doesmt mean you have to be brutal or nasty

"

I'd agree with that.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I respect honesty, even if it's a home truth, but there is that brand of honesty, were people are honest with the intent of being hurtful, I think we all know one of those people "

We do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you feel about it?"

Very important!!

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Vague question....I'm skeptical of vague questions.

-Courtney

Oh!? I was deliberately vague it means so many things to people

I guessed that you were deliberately vague. But I wasn't sure whether you meant honesty as a concept, honesty in relationships, honesty overall....I also wasn't sure what aspect of honesty you were questioning. People have written books on honesty, in many different subjects....so I feel that unless I have a direction then whatever I write will be vapid.

-Courtney

Honesty overall I think. I just really wanted to see how people regard it, feel about it, what it means to them.

I have no ulterior motive I'm not suddenly going to decry a section of fab or society. Just something for a Monday afternoon

Ok, well then the way I see it, honesty is such an interesting thing. People like to think it is a positive thing, but I believe that just like most things, it can't be removed from context. I like to think that I am honest when it matters, but I won't tell a good friend of mine that her haircut looks like shit if it does and there is nothing she can do to fix it, for example.

Would I prefer that people are honest with me? Yes, of course, but again, when being honest just amounts to being mean, then I'd rather not hear it.

Scientists have done studies of lying and deception in children. They found that the more academically advanced children were more likely to lie about things - that deception is a form of cognitive enhancement. We have, essentially, evolved to lie, at least in some cases, because it is key to survival. I find this very interesting. We might ask ourselves why?

As far as relationships go, I find honesty to be paramount. It is up there, and perhaps one with, communication. Without it, the parties in a relationship (whether it be a romantic relationship or a platonic one) are not on an even playing field.

-Courtney"

I didn't know about those studies Courtney, fascinating stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the subject but mostly I don't care about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Vague question....I'm skeptical of vague questions.

-Courtney

Oh!? I was deliberately vague it means so many things to people

I guessed that you were deliberately vague. But I wasn't sure whether you meant honesty as a concept, honesty in relationships, honesty overall....I also wasn't sure what aspect of honesty you were questioning. People have written books on honesty, in many different subjects....so I feel that unless I have a direction then whatever I write will be vapid.

-Courtney

Honesty overall I think. I just really wanted to see how people regard it, feel about it, what it means to them.

I have no ulterior motive I'm not suddenly going to decry a section of fab or society. Just something for a Monday afternoon

Ok, well then the way I see it, honesty is such an interesting thing. People like to think it is a positive thing, but I believe that just like most things, it can't be removed from context. I like to think that I am honest when it matters, but I won't tell a good friend of mine that her haircut looks like shit if it does and there is nothing she can do to fix it, for example.

Would I prefer that people are honest with me? Yes, of course, but again, when being honest just amounts to being mean, then I'd rather not hear it.

Scientists have done studies of lying and deception in children. They found that the more academically advanced children were more likely to lie about things - that deception is a form of cognitive enhancement. We have, essentially, evolved to lie, at least in some cases, because it is key to survival. I find this very interesting. We might ask ourselves why?

As far as relationships go, I find honesty to be paramount. It is up there, and perhaps one with, communication. Without it, the parties in a relationship (whether it be a romantic relationship or a platonic one) are not on an even playing field.

-Courtney

It's fairly obvious why.

Lying about your capabilities, knowledge and possessions gives you an edge.

It's getting to be a very harsh year food wise someone asks you if you know where any food is you very convincingly say no and that you're starving too.

You then sneak off to that patch of nuts you found a while ago and secretly gather them up. There's not many but it's just enough to mean your partner has enough nutrition to make enough milk to keep your new born child alive that winter

Without the ability to lie your child and genes would have died.

.

Early humans would have been pack animals though wouldn't they?.

Interestingly enough, in one such study that I saw, the children were with an adult who ate something that the child was told my another adult not to touch. When the first adult came back in the room and asked what happened to the treat, the children who lied did so to save the adult who had eaten the treat - not to gained any direct advantage to themselves.

-Courtney"

I think that child was gaining something though, an alliance with the lying adult, and as social creatures dependant on other humans for various functions, it's logical to forge bonds with others who will facilitate your survival.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Imperative.

I'm a terrible liar so find it best to be open. Unfortunately expect the same from others which leaves me disappointed. A lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Vague question....I'm skeptical of vague questions.

-Courtney

Oh!? I was deliberately vague it means so many things to people

I guessed that you were deliberately vague. But I wasn't sure whether you meant honesty as a concept, honesty in relationships, honesty overall....I also wasn't sure what aspect of honesty you were questioning. People have written books on honesty, in many different subjects....so I feel that unless I have a direction then whatever I write will be vapid.

-Courtney

Honesty overall I think. I just really wanted to see how people regard it, feel about it, what it means to them.

I have no ulterior motive I'm not suddenly going to decry a section of fab or society. Just something for a Monday afternoon

Ok, well then the way I see it, honesty is such an interesting thing. People like to think it is a positive thing, but I believe that just like most things, it can't be removed from context. I like to think that I am honest when it matters, but I won't tell a good friend of mine that her haircut looks like shit if it does and there is nothing she can do to fix it, for example.

Would I prefer that people are honest with me? Yes, of course, but again, when being honest just amounts to being mean, then I'd rather not hear it.

Scientists have done studies of lying and deception in children. They found that the more academically advanced children were more likely to lie about things - that deception is a form of cognitive enhancement. We have, essentially, evolved to lie, at least in some cases, because it is key to survival. I find this very interesting. We might ask ourselves why?

As far as relationships go, I find honesty to be paramount. It is up there, and perhaps one with, communication. Without it, the parties in a relationship (whether it be a romantic relationship or a platonic one) are not on an even playing field.

-Courtney

It's fairly obvious why.

Lying about your capabilities, knowledge and possessions gives you an edge.

It's getting to be a very harsh year food wise someone asks you if you know where any food is you very convincingly say no and that you're starving too.

You then sneak off to that patch of nuts you found a while ago and secretly gather them up. There's not many but it's just enough to mean your partner has enough nutrition to make enough milk to keep your new born child alive that winter

Without the ability to lie your child and genes would have died.

.

Early humans would have been pack animals though wouldn't they?.

Interestingly enough, in one such study that I saw, the children were with an adult who ate something that the child was told my another adult not to touch. When the first adult came back in the room and asked what happened to the treat, the children who lied did so to save the adult who had eaten the treat - not to gained any direct advantage to themselves.

-Courtney

I think that child was gaining something though, an alliance with the lying adult, and as social creatures dependant on other humans for various functions, it's logical to forge bonds with others who will facilitate your survival."

Yes, I completely agree. That is why I specified a "direct" gain. The social element was interesting in that study. In other studies the children just lied to protect themselves. The complexity of the situations, and of the childrens' lies, were found to be indicative of intelligence and early development.

Its actually rather interesting to read about. You can google it - though I suggest you read the academic stuff as opposed to the stuff they stuck in the news articles.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Vague question....I'm skeptical of vague questions.

-Courtney

Oh!? I was deliberately vague it means so many things to people

I guessed that you were deliberately vague. But I wasn't sure whether you meant honesty as a concept, honesty in relationships, honesty overall....I also wasn't sure what aspect of honesty you were questioning. People have written books on honesty, in many different subjects....so I feel that unless I have a direction then whatever I write will be vapid.

-Courtney

Honesty overall I think. I just really wanted to see how people regard it, feel about it, what it means to them.

I have no ulterior motive I'm not suddenly going to decry a section of fab or society. Just something for a Monday afternoon

Ok, well then the way I see it, honesty is such an interesting thing. People like to think it is a positive thing, but I believe that just like most things, it can't be removed from context. I like to think that I am honest when it matters, but I won't tell a good friend of mine that her haircut looks like shit if it does and there is nothing she can do to fix it, for example.

Would I prefer that people are honest with me? Yes, of course, but again, when being honest just amounts to being mean, then I'd rather not hear it.

Scientists have done studies of lying and deception in children. They found that the more academically advanced children were more likely to lie about things - that deception is a form of cognitive enhancement. We have, essentially, evolved to lie, at least in some cases, because it is key to survival. I find this very interesting. We might ask ourselves why?

As far as relationships go, I find honesty to be paramount. It is up there, and perhaps one with, communication. Without it, the parties in a relationship (whether it be a romantic relationship or a platonic one) are not on an even playing field.

-Courtney

It's fairly obvious why.

Lying about your capabilities, knowledge and possessions gives you an edge.

It's getting to be a very harsh year food wise someone asks you if you know where any food is you very convincingly say no and that you're starving too.

You then sneak off to that patch of nuts you found a while ago and secretly gather them up. There's not many but it's just enough to mean your partner has enough nutrition to make enough milk to keep your new born child alive that winter

Without the ability to lie your child and genes would have died.

.

Early humans would have been pack animals though wouldn't they?.

Interestingly enough, in one such study that I saw, the children were with an adult who ate something that the child was told my another adult not to touch. When the first adult came back in the room and asked what happened to the treat, the children who lied did so to save the adult who had eaten the treat - not to gained any direct advantage to themselves.

-Courtney

I think that child was gaining something though, an alliance with the lying adult, and as social creatures dependant on other humans for various functions, it's logical to forge bonds with others who will facilitate your survival.

Yes, I completely agree. That is why I specified a "direct" gain. The social element was interesting in that study. In other studies the children just lied to protect themselves. The complexity of the situations, and of the childrens' lies, were found to be indicative of intelligence and early development.

Its actually rather interesting to read about. You can google it - though I suggest you read the academic stuff as opposed to the stuff they stuck in the news articles.

-Courtney"

You mean the Daily Mail isn't academic??

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Vague question....I'm skeptical of vague questions.

-Courtney

Oh!? I was deliberately vague it means so many things to people

I guessed that you were deliberately vague. But I wasn't sure whether you meant honesty as a concept, honesty in relationships, honesty overall....I also wasn't sure what aspect of honesty you were questioning. People have written books on honesty, in many different subjects....so I feel that unless I have a direction then whatever I write will be vapid.

-Courtney

Honesty overall I think. I just really wanted to see how people regard it, feel about it, what it means to them.

I have no ulterior motive I'm not suddenly going to decry a section of fab or society. Just something for a Monday afternoon

Ok, well then the way I see it, honesty is such an interesting thing. People like to think it is a positive thing, but I believe that just like most things, it can't be removed from context. I like to think that I am honest when it matters, but I won't tell a good friend of mine that her haircut looks like shit if it does and there is nothing she can do to fix it, for example.

Would I prefer that people are honest with me? Yes, of course, but again, when being honest just amounts to being mean, then I'd rather not hear it.

Scientists have done studies of lying and deception in children. They found that the more academically advanced children were more likely to lie about things - that deception is a form of cognitive enhancement. We have, essentially, evolved to lie, at least in some cases, because it is key to survival. I find this very interesting. We might ask ourselves why?

As far as relationships go, I find honesty to be paramount. It is up there, and perhaps one with, communication. Without it, the parties in a relationship (whether it be a romantic relationship or a platonic one) are not on an even playing field.

-Courtney

It's fairly obvious why.

Lying about your capabilities, knowledge and possessions gives you an edge.

It's getting to be a very harsh year food wise someone asks you if you know where any food is you very convincingly say no and that you're starving too.

You then sneak off to that patch of nuts you found a while ago and secretly gather them up. There's not many but it's just enough to mean your partner has enough nutrition to make enough milk to keep your new born child alive that winter

Without the ability to lie your child and genes would have died.

.

Early humans would have been pack animals though wouldn't they?.

Interestingly enough, in one such study that I saw, the children were with an adult who ate something that the child was told my another adult not to touch. When the first adult came back in the room and asked what happened to the treat, the children who lied did so to save the adult who had eaten the treat - not to gained any direct advantage to themselves.

-Courtney

I think that child was gaining something though, an alliance with the lying adult, and as social creatures dependant on other humans for various functions, it's logical to forge bonds with others who will facilitate your survival.

Yes, I completely agree. That is why I specified a "direct" gain. The social element was interesting in that study. In other studies the children just lied to protect themselves. The complexity of the situations, and of the childrens' lies, were found to be indicative of intelligence and early development.

Its actually rather interesting to read about. You can google it - though I suggest you read the academic stuff as opposed to the stuff they stuck in the news articles.

-Courtney

You mean the Daily Mail isn't academic?? "

Do you want an honest answer?

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Vague question....I'm skeptical of vague questions.

-Courtney

Oh!? I was deliberately vague it means so many things to people

I guessed that you were deliberately vague. But I wasn't sure whether you meant honesty as a concept, honesty in relationships, honesty overall....I also wasn't sure what aspect of honesty you were questioning. People have written books on honesty, in many different subjects....so I feel that unless I have a direction then whatever I write will be vapid.

-Courtney

Honesty overall I think. I just really wanted to see how people regard it, feel about it, what it means to them.

I have no ulterior motive I'm not suddenly going to decry a section of fab or society. Just something for a Monday afternoon

Ok, well then the way I see it, honesty is such an interesting thing. People like to think it is a positive thing, but I believe that just like most things, it can't be removed from context. I like to think that I am honest when it matters, but I won't tell a good friend of mine that her haircut looks like shit if it does and there is nothing she can do to fix it, for example.

Would I prefer that people are honest with me? Yes, of course, but again, when being honest just amounts to being mean, then I'd rather not hear it.

Scientists have done studies of lying and deception in children. They found that the more academically advanced children were more likely to lie about things - that deception is a form of cognitive enhancement. We have, essentially, evolved to lie, at least in some cases, because it is key to survival. I find this very interesting. We might ask ourselves why?

As far as relationships go, I find honesty to be paramount. It is up there, and perhaps one with, communication. Without it, the parties in a relationship (whether it be a romantic relationship or a platonic one) are not on an even playing field.

-Courtney

It's fairly obvious why.

Lying about your capabilities, knowledge and possessions gives you an edge.

It's getting to be a very harsh year food wise someone asks you if you know where any food is you very convincingly say no and that you're starving too.

You then sneak off to that patch of nuts you found a while ago and secretly gather them up. There's not many but it's just enough to mean your partner has enough nutrition to make enough milk to keep your new born child alive that winter

Without the ability to lie your child and genes would have died.

.

Early humans would have been pack animals though wouldn't they?.

"

As far as I'm aware they would have been groups of hunter gatherers so it would have been in their interests to conceal certain things from other groups.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Depends on the subject but mostly I don't care about it. "

That's why I was just thinking. Sometimes it's not wise to be honest,sometimes it is. It's as important as the situation and person I'm talking to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty but using a bit of tact,

I sometimes forget the tact part

and can be too honest about myself sometimes

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Depends on the subject but mostly I don't care about it.

That's why I was just thinking. Sometimes it's not wise to be honest,sometimes it is. It's as important as the situation and person I'm talking to. "

I suspect a lot of us think that way.

I feel that at base there is no point being dishonest but many examples above have shown that in fact sometimes honesty isn't the best policy at all.

When our son was little he used to get very panicky if he was sick, once when he had a bug he kept asking me to get a doctor. Eventually I pretended to phone the surgery and he calmed down. Dishonest certainly.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Does this mean I should take Cosmonaut and ex UN Ambassador to the Magonsaete off of my CV?

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Does this mean I should take Cosmonaut and ex UN Ambassador to the Magonsaete off of my CV? "

It depends if you have obtained work fraudulently by having it on there

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Does this mean I should take Cosmonaut and ex UN Ambassador to the Magonsaete off of my CV?

It depends if you have obtained work fraudulently by having it on there "

Well, The Hwicce will be rather upset if they find out

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Does this mean I should take Cosmonaut and ex UN Ambassador to the Magonsaete off of my CV?

It depends if you have obtained work fraudulently by having it on there

Well, The Hwicce will be rather upset if they find out "

We must hope that they never do. Your secret Tina, is safe with me.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Does this mean I should take Cosmonaut and ex UN Ambassador to the Magonsaete off of my CV?

It depends if you have obtained work fraudulently by having it on there

Well, The Hwicce will be rather upset if they find out

We must hope that they never do. Your secret Tina, is safe with me. "

Your slice of Battenberg is in the post. Unless I'm being dishonest and it is now in me

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Does this mean I should take Cosmonaut and ex UN Ambassador to the Magonsaete off of my CV?

It depends if you have obtained work fraudulently by having it on there

Well, The Hwicce will be rather upset if they find out

We must hope that they never do. Your secret Tina, is safe with me.

Your slice of Battenberg is in the post. Unless I'm being dishonest and it is now in me "

I have no wish to fall out with you or indeed be menacing but if it doesn't arrive...

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"Does this mean I should take Cosmonaut and ex UN Ambassador to the Magonsaete off of my CV?

It depends if you have obtained work fraudulently by having it on there

Well, The Hwicce will be rather upset if they find out

We must hope that they never do. Your secret Tina, is safe with me.

Your slice of Battenberg is in the post. Unless I'm being dishonest and it is now in me

I have no wish to fall out with you or indeed be menacing but if it doesn't arrive..."

You can't batter someone for not sending battenberg.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must admit...I've been dishonest to get a job or a freebie here & there. Harmless dishonesty in my mind but when it involves people (as opposed to corporations) it's definitely not a good idea.

One lie leads to another & another in most instances so it's not cool, at all.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Does this mean I should take Cosmonaut and ex UN Ambassador to the Magonsaete off of my CV?

It depends if you have obtained work fraudulently by having it on there

Well, The Hwicce will be rather upset if they find out

We must hope that they never do. Your secret Tina, is safe with me.

Your slice of Battenberg is in the post. Unless I'm being dishonest and it is now in me

I have no wish to fall out with you or indeed be menacing but if it doesn't arrive...

You can't batter someone for not sending battenberg. "

I wouldn't but an anonymous note might find its way to The Hwicca

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty is one of the most important things.

What I don't like is people who say mean things and use honesty as an excuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty, respect and kindness is something I expect.

But it doesn't happen very often.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Honesty is one of the most important things.

What I don't like is people who say mean things and use honesty as an excuse."

I don't like that either. I suppose that's what lots of people are saying, it's all about context.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm too blunt and tactless NOT to be honest. There's nothing I despise more than two faced people and lying. Aside from people who bang on about how honest they are when they're not.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Honesty, respect and kindness is something I expect.

But it doesn't happen very often."

I find it happens more the older I get.

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