FabSwingers.com forum: How to leave the friend zone?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Basically I like this girl. I've known her a long time but only the past couple of years we've actually spoke and got closer. Problem is she sees me as a mate. Idk just wondering is it worth spending all this time on a girl who really is never going to be interested in you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worst that can happen is she says no and you're in the position you're in now right?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/12/15 17:57:56]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Worst that can happen is she says no and you're in the position you're in now right? "

If she says no then our whole relationship would be totally different right? I'm assuming she'd be more distant if I do express myself. Ahhh love is so confusing lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Basically I like this girl. I've known her a long time but only the past couple of years we've actually spoke and got closer. Problem is she sees me as a mate. Idk just wondering is it worth spending all this time on a girl who really is never going to be interested in you?

How do you know she only sees you as a mate?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How do you know she only sees you as a mate? "

Cause she talks about other guys to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you know she only sees you as a mate?

Cause she talks about other guys to me

so?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"so?"

Wouldn't that mean she's into other guys rather than me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worth taking the chance. The positives if she feels the same outweigh the negatives if she doesn't.

Take a chance OP and good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds like you see the end goal of friendship with women as sex.

On that basis, I think you should stop being her friend. Because she doesn't need friends who are only tolerating her because they want a fuck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Worth taking the chance. The positives if she feels the same outweigh the negatives if she doesn't.

Take a chance OP and good luck. "

Ahh him so confused

but thank you for your advice x

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I don't think it is possible to escape the friend zone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't think it is possible to escape the friend zone.

You could be right there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex is in the friend zone but he loves her so much, he even told her once bit their friendship survived, you know why? Because she actually feels the same way but both are so bloody awkward at making the first move when they are sober!! Tell her you might get a shock x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ahhh love is so confusing lol"

It is very confusing but if you're meant to be together it'll work out one way or another. If she doesn't know though you'll never find out take the plunge, good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you like and respect her for who she is then why would you not want to spend time with her?

When I was younger I had a very good male friend and we would spend a lot of time together. It was always platonic and I never flirted, ever.

I split up with a boyfriend and started seeing someone else. Male friend was furious as he believed that investing time into our friendship entitled him to a romantic relationship. He even said that it should have been 'his turn'.

What a twat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's no such thing as the friend zone. Only the comfort zone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it is possible to escape the friend zone.

You could be right there

Of course it's possible , but one of you had to make the move.

Better to find out sooner than later.

Plus, I advise you to listen closely to what she says about the other guys.

Can tell you a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it is possible to escape the friend zone.

Sure it is, borrow money from them, and don't pay it back, no more friend zone

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you like and respect her for who she is then why would you not want to spend time with her?

When I was younger I had a very good male friend and we would spend a lot of time together. It was always platonic and I never flirted, ever.

What a twat."

Na I always cherish the time I spend with her. Even if it's for 5 mins. We talk a lot through texts and stuff and the amount of times I re read old messages is embarrassing lmao it actually feels nice to relive the messages if that makes sense?

I would always support her 100% with all her decisions. Even if she decided to go out with someone else. I'll alway be there for her as friendship does and always come first.

But the thing is if I do express my feeling and she does say no then I'm afraid the friendship won't be the same. Like you never know it might not change but I'm not willing to take that risk.

Btw I'm sorry to here about yourale friend

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ahhh love is so confusing lol

It is very confusing but if you're meant to be together it'll work out one way or another. If she doesn't know though you'll never find out take the plunge, good luck OP"

Thanks you for your advice x

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By *i1971Man
over a year ago

Cornwall

Lol - in exactly the same position as OP. People see me generally as quite outgoing, but I hate things like this. After my last LTR, decided to play things cool. Have become very good friends with someone & we share many likes/hobbies etc. I guess neither one of us want to raise "the question" Going to have to raise the subject & see what happens I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think that you should just tell her how you feel or you could regret it and life is to short to have regrets

as for your friendship not being the same if she dusnt feel the same then just deal with that if and when it happens

now are you a man or a mouse lol go get her

good luck

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

"i think that you should just tell her how you feel or you could regret it and life is to short to have regrets

as for your friendship not being the same if she dusnt feel the same then just deal with that if and when it happens

now are you a man or a mouse lol go get her

good luck

Exactly - if you really like her would you really be happy just being friends?

Go for it life's too short for regrets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take the risk

Be vulnerable

Be authentic

Tell her how u feel

Long time dead X

Handle results - if rejection - slap ur balls - man up

And

If acceptance - slap ur balls and be happy X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you like and respect her for who she is then why would you not want to spend time with her?

When I was younger I had a very good male friend and we would spend a lot of time together. It was always platonic and I never flirted, ever.

What a twat.

I would always support her 100% with all her decisions. Even if she decided to go out with someone else. I'll alway be there for her as friendship does and always come first.

But the thing is if I do express my feeling and she does say no then I'm afraid the friendship won't be the same. Like you never know it might not change but I'm not willing to take that risk.

Btw I'm sorry to here about yourale friend

Mate I know that this situation is hard for you, and I know you have the feeling that it's a do or die situation, all or nothing if you will, but, and I mean this with the upmost respect but you have to man the fuck up! If you lose you lose, if you win you win, but if you don't play your hand, you could waste your life day dreaming about what could have been, I mean what are you going to do, be her friend for the rest of your life, watch her get married, have kids with another man, even have her kids call you uncle? All the time thinking they should be calling you dad?

No, you can't win in that situation, you just have to take a breath, and spill it all out, if she rejects you, yeah it will hurt, and then you start to live your life, the pain eases and you then meet someone else, but at least you know where you stand, instead of being in shrodingers relationship.

I feel for you I really do, but don't hold on to strong emotions, or you will end up on her doorstep at Christmas with a portable stereo, and a load of cards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you like and respect her for who she is then why would you not want to spend time with her?

When I was younger I had a very good male friend and we would spend a lot of time together. It was always platonic and I never flirted, ever.

What a twat.

I would always support her 100% with all her decisions. Even if she decided to go out with someone else. I'll alway be there for her as friendship does and always come first.

But the thing is if I do express my feeling and she does say no then I'm afraid the friendship won't be the same. Like you never know it might not change but I'm not willing to take that risk.

Btw I'm sorry to here about yourale friend

It's ok, I found other friends who liked me for me rather than what they thought they could get from me.

Sounds like you truly cherish her and I think you should tell her so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friend zone is like a black hole, there is no escape I'm afraid. The longer you remain in friend zone the more entrenched you become. At some point some dude will come along and charm her knickers off and you will wonder why it's not you. But he's the new guy, the novelty, and he made his move before there was any risk of being drawn into friend zone.

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By *fricanMann2077Man
over a year ago

Stoke On Trent

You cant escape the friendzone bro

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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago

The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales

Google 'Kev's Courting Song' lyrics.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Ask fucking bill

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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago

The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales

"Google 'Kev's Courting Song' lyrics.

I've saved you the trouble.

Verse 1

Blown too much of me time buying dinner and wine

And me money on flowers and lollies

Only to find that what's on me mind

Isn't on hers and she's sorry

So I've made up some lines that save wastin' time

And keep me from blowin' me brass

I'm ever so cool I just prop on the stool

Right next to hers and I ask:

Chorus

'Do you fuck on first dates?

Does your dad own a brewery?

Could I feel your tits?

Or would you show 'em to me?

Cause you've you've got a nice head

And you look pretty honest

So me face'll be leavin' in a quarter of an hour--

I'd like you to be on it'

Verse 2

You know how it feels when you first meet a sheila

And the bullshit you've gotta go through

Like callin' her up and tellin' her you love her

When all that you'd love is just to screw

But she wants to hold hands and you to meet her old man

And sit around for hours and talk

But me new method is, you just cut through the shit

And get down to the goodies straight off:

Chorus

'Do you fuck on first dates?

Does your dad own a brewery?

Could I feel your tits?

Or would you show 'em to me?

Do you sleep in the nick?

Do you give head very often?

If we can decide, your place or mine

We can fuck off then'

Verse 3

So the next time you see a good-lookin' sheila

And you'd give a week's pay just to hold her

Don't sit acting dumb, just front her full-on

And drop a few lines like I told you

This new method of mine might not work every time

But then again no method will

I've been spat at and slapped, and kneed in the knackers

But then I've got a few fucks as well

Chorus

'Do you fuck on first dates?

Does your dad own a brewery?

Could I feel your tits?

Or would you show 'em to me?

If the answer is 'No'

To me questions above --

Then be a good sport and give me the name

Of a girlfriend who does!'

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

There's no such thing as the friend zone, the term was invented by men to rationalise why women don't want to sleep with them.

If you feel that strongly about her, then tell her, because life is too short quite frankly. But be prepared to be rejected and it being awkward for a while.

Or she may surprise you and also feel the same. You won't know unless you ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like a few more have said ...Ask her life for now you never know she may feel the same.So ask

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