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'Cheating' in school? Is it okay?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Since I’m less stressed, my memory has decided to return and, irritatingly, I remembered someone telling me about having forged a signature. Poor memory CAN be a blessing!!!

We are doing a professional course; they confessed to me about four months ago that because their assessor had forgotten one out of three signatures they just forged it. Back then I just said I haven’t heard what you said and changed subject. According to my own moral standards and values I find this unacceptable. The first two assessments we had my assessors had also missed signatures (the paperwork is ENDLESS), I just got the paperwork back and was asked to chase up the signatures, I still passed.

My first instinct is not to report them, but to tell them to rectify this themselves. As in, to report themselves. This WILL cause disciplinary procedure, will delay them, but as a first error they’ll prob just get a warning.

I might lose my friendship. I’m angry that they confessed this to me, why would they imply my morale values weren’t above this? Forging a signature is a VERY slippery slope.

If the majority on here advise that I do nothing, then please advise how I can get this out of my head?

If it were a work situation I would not hesitate to force them to report themselves, my job would be compromised if I didn’t. But, is it less bad when it’s just training?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have they done anything since or previously to make you think they're on a slippery slope? If not, why do you think they're on their way to one? Answer this yourself honestly, you don't need to justify anything to me.

If they would have got the signature anyway then i don't see what the problem is personally.

That's not been said to convince you of anything, your morals are pretty much everything you stand for and important to you, it's because i think you don't want to risk losing your friend so i'm looking at it another way. Caring about a friend is also doing the best for them, which is why the slippery slope thing is important to focus on and be honest with yourself about.

You won't get it out of your head but it might stop bothering you as much if whatever you decide to do next is the most caring thing you can do for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will anything they do affect you personally?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Why do you feel so strongly that she must follow YOUR moral code?

Leave it alone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks AB, that is a very thoughtful advice, I'll reflect on it.

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By *icky999Man
over a year ago

warrington

no harm, no foul.

slippery slope... grassing is a slippery slope to the stasi

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do you feel so strongly that she must follow YOUR moral code?

Leave it alone.

"
Yes, I might leave it alone. Will also be easier. But let's stay curious for now.

If it were a Police Officer, would you advise the same?

What might be the percentage of people in the UK whose moral code include not forging signatures?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No problem.

I overlook things if they're not doing any harm, but some things i won't put up with if they are harmful. Just gotta try and figure out why someone did something and if it'll hurt someone in the long run, and sometimes you have to hurt yourself to help out the people you care about too...it's a shitty old world sometimes.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Why do you feel so strongly that she must follow YOUR moral code?

Leave it alone.

Yes, I might leave it alone. Will also be easier. But let's stay curious for now.

If it were a Police Officer, would you advise the same?

What might be the percentage of people in the UK whose moral code include not forging signatures?"

Everything is contextual.

What is immoral for one person in some circumstances is okay with another.

Personally, i believe forging signatures is wrong full stop.

I'd cease to trust that person.

Whether i'd shop them or not depends on the circumstances.

I could easily overlook a police officer forging a signature under some circumstances but NOT under others.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Just for the record :

The reason I cannot fully believe that 'morality' is the true fire that burns inside you is that you conveniently overlooked it when it was done.

I know people have change of hearts but by my reckoning YOU are as guilty as she is.

I'd wager that something else has happened that you don't like and the 'immorality' of the past is something that can be dragged up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say I see it as no biggy. But then I forged my parents signature all the time when at school because otherwise I'd not have been allowed to do anything.

I'd not let it bother me but that is me. You have to do what's right for you as that's why our moral codes are different x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Pssssssssst Cali ..... I think this is big school. Like VERY big school.

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By *ootballPaulMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I remember at school forging my mum's signature on my homework book we had to have a parents signature or we'd get detention not really convinced about the point of this anyhow I'd done the homework so sod the bureaucrats hence my minor misdemeanor. I'd stop focusing on unimportant issue's and concentrate on why you get stressed so easily, seek sound advice.

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By *irkby coupleCouple
over a year ago

Kirkby

I think it's not really your problem, if they forged a signature, good for them.

Just because you know about it, doesn't mean you are responsible.

No one higher up the ladder will think any better of you X do the people who work around you will find out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just for the record :

The reason I cannot fully believe that 'morality' is the true fire that burns inside you is that you conveniently overlooked it when it was done.

I know people have change of hearts but by my reckoning YOU are as guilty as she is.

I'd wager that something else has happened that you don't like and the 'immorality' of the past is something that can be dragged up.

"

I believe her. I tune out a lot when stressed, and forget things that stress me out, it's how my brain deals with things.

I don't have the worrying about it later, if i remember something and it still stresses me then i'll forget about again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you were a police officer I would remind you that the force has a very dim view of swingers and internet sites promoting casual sex. They may have a moral code of their own that could come back and bite you in the arse.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

For something with hugely dire consequences I'd pursue discussions with the friends or elsewhere. If it's less significant an effect that could reasonably result I'd let it go. And sort myself out, as it's me that's holding some unbalanced emotional load.

If I can't sort an emotional issue myself I check in for rehab, chocolate, champagne or sex. Possibly all of them. And I invest in relationships, as they need this. Your actions, or lack of, may be part of your investment - and their honesty is something from them.

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford


"Why do you feel so strongly that she must follow YOUR moral code?

Leave it alone.

Yes, I might leave it alone. Will also be easier. But let's stay curious for now.

If it were a Police Officer, would you advise the same?

What might be the percentage of people in the UK whose moral code include not forging signatures?

Everything is contextual.

What is immoral for one person in some circumstances is okay with another.

Personally, i believe forging signatures is wrong full stop.

I'd cease to trust that person.

Whether i'd shop them or not depends on the circumstances.

I could easily overlook a police officer forging a signature under some circumstances but NOT under others.

"
. How could someone over look a police officer forging a signature . ?If I were aware of any public servant forging a signature I would not give a second thought to reporting them.

Any form of foregery amounts to serious deception .

I cannot think of any circumstances where forging a signature could be acceptable .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The assessor 'missed' 1 of the 3 signatures?? No big deal...move on as ur beating urself up over nothing!! Had they failed this 'professional' assessment and forged a signature to say they had passed would b so different. I can understand why u get stressed from this post. People have different morals....ur friends/colleagues might think belonging to a swinging site is wrong. Chill out

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"Since I’m less stressed, my memory has decided to return and, irritatingly, I remembered someone telling me about having forged a signature. Poor memory CAN be a blessing!!!

We are doing a professional course; they confessed to me about four months ago that because their assessor had forgotten one out of three signatures they just forged it. Back then I just said I haven’t heard what you said and changed subject. According to my own moral standards and values I find this unacceptable. The first two assessments we had my assessors had also missed signatures (the paperwork is ENDLESS), I just got the paperwork back and was asked to chase up the signatures, I still passed.

My first instinct is not to report them, but to tell them to rectify this themselves. As in, to report themselves. This WILL cause disciplinary procedure, will delay them, but as a first error they’ll prob just get a warning.

I might lose my friendship. I’m angry that they confessed this to me, why would they imply my morale values weren’t above this? Forging a signature is a VERY slippery slope.

If the majority on here advise that I do nothing, then please advise how I can get this out of my head?

If it were a work situation I would not hesitate to force them to report themselves, my job would be compromised if I didn’t. But, is it less bad when it’s just training?"

Showing initiative.

Professionals on the whole are lying cheating bastards anyway.

The training must be fantastic,

they're already acting like professionals.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just for the record :

The reason I cannot fully believe that 'morality' is the true fire that burns inside you is that you conveniently overlooked it when it was done.

I know people have change of hearts but by my reckoning YOU are as guilty as she is."
I like your reasoning, but your assumptions are erratic.

You write, "that you conveniently overlooked it when it was done" and that is non factual. I was not present when they forged the signature. They did not tell me whose assessor signature they forged nor which of the assessments. Now that we are at it, I don't have a clue why they felt the need to confess it to me either?

Witnessing someone forging a signature is a VERY different scenario from someone telling you that they have done so.
"I'd wager that something else has happened that you don't like and the 'immorality' of the past is something that can be dragged up."
The 'something else that happened' was, as I wrote, that I all of a sudden remembered it.

I agree with you on one thing, partly, knowing that they have forged the signature, and not doing something about it, does indeed make me as guilty as them IN MY EYES. Hence why I wanted to ask other people about it on here, I do find it difficult being guilty.

However, should I report them I will not face a disciplinary case, only they will. Why is that?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am immensely glad to see all your responses here and they have all been extremely helpful, thank you! It's nice being taken serious and feeling helped!

I landed on the decision of doing nothing. And I can live with that.

Some of the arguments that helped me reflect were,
"Have they done anything since or previously to make you think they're on a slippery slope? If not, why do you think they're on their way to one?

If they would have got the signature anyway then i don't see what the problem is personally."
a. They have not done anything like it before, or after, I have to agree there is no 'slippery slope' with one case only.

b. Perhaps the most important argument a few of you on here made: they would indeed have got the signature had they used ANY other approach, it was not a question of failing!


"Personally, i believe forging signatures is wrong full stop.

I'd cease to trust that person."
This argument helps me 'get over' the moral doubts. Someone else, even though a stranger online, also thinks forging a signature is wrong. I feel validated, that is helpful.

And I can live with knowing they have forged a signature when I, in the future, assess them with my knowledge: Not to be trusted in a professional context. It's about a sense of justice. They can still be my friend privately.

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By *icky999Man
over a year ago

warrington

I think you need a little more education on theword forgery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad you managed to keep your friend and your principles.

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