FabSwingers.com forum: How to deal with break up

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

Hi guys I have just broke up with my partner of ten years. Am really struggling to deal with it as I loved her very much. Any words of advice.

Please don't take piss am really feeling down atm.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/12/15 12:00:22]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

dignity at all costs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

I will its not a problem of going to a club I can manage that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will its not a problem of going to a club I can manage that"

I went back to check the name of the club, as in today's times

and yep....but noticed it was a veri for a couple so prior to your split.

Maybe go for a nice walk. As I'm not sure a swinging forum will find you the answers....but hey, never say never.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time, it takes time x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughty-nickyWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshite

Was in your shoes 10 months ago, and every one said time will heal and it didn't seem possible, but I hurt less now than I did do seems time really is a great healer.... All I would say is try not to jump from frying pan into the fire.... It's too easy to look for a replacement, be kind to yourself, and cry.... Better out than in..... And that's not a phrase I tend to use on fab!!! ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

Thank you guys I really appreciate it advice

Yes i know it's not a fab discussion. But just thought i would post on here as its just a gen discussion lounge

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

"I will its not a problem of going to a club I can manage that

I went back to check the name of the club, as in today's times

and yep....but noticed it was a veri for a couple so prior to your split.

Maybe go for a nice walk. As I'm not sure a swinging forum will find you the answers....but hey, never say never."

Should we call u inspector clusoe .... not every one is a liar thankx xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"dignity at all costs"

^^^^^ this

Find something you love doing, not something you did with your ex, but something you can do alone, be good to yourself and kind to your spirit, things will get better

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Keep your chin up, keep active and look for small victories

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keep your chin up, keep active and look for small victories

Or small Victoria sponges, there ain't been a damn thing they can't fix

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

"dignity at all costs

^^^^^ this

Find something you love doing, not something you did with your ex, but something you can do alone, be good to yourself and kind to your spirit, things will get better

A wank comes to mind lol

Yes will try thankx mate

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you`ll feel down no matter what you do

just need time to get over shit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

Thanks mate

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"dignity at all costs

^^^^^ this

Find something you love doing, not something you did with your ex, but something you can do alone, be good to yourself and kind to your spirit, things will get better

A wank comes to mind lol

Yes will try thankx mate"

Hey, what ever gets you through my man

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Find distractions to keep you busy and as above maintain dignity.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will its not a problem of going to a club I can manage that

I went back to check the name of the club, as in today's times

and yep....but noticed it was a veri for a couple so prior to your split.

Maybe go for a nice walk. As I'm not sure a swinging forum will find you the answers....but hey, never say never.

Should we call u inspector clusoe .... not every one is a liar thankx xx"

I never assumed you were lying about being newly single. Just that 2 weeks and 3 veris...I was a little unsure as to where the upset was coming from. But hey whats ten years after 2 weeks on fab as a single Jim and I'm sure all is forgotten.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Was in your shoes 10 months ago, and every one said time will heal and it didn't seem possible, but I hurt less now than I did do seems time really is a great healer.... All I would say is try not to jump from frying pan into the fire.... It's too easy to look for a replacement, be kind to yourself, and cry.... Better out than in..... And that's not a phrase I tend to use on fab!!! ??"

/\ what she said.

I'm addition.....gin. Gin helps a lot.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Lots of things will be changing in your life. Don't beat yourself up on the days you get maudlin, your allowed to grieve, but also remember that you have to move forward and not stay in a time warp.

I know nothing about whether children are involved or whether it was amicable or not it when your having a good day sit and right a list of things you would like to do, could be big things or small, maybe a new hobby.

Some people don't like to do stuff as a singleton as they think some things are couple based but I don't think that is necessarily so. You could go on a holiday either on your own or with a group.

Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

all you can do is take each day as it comes try to keep yourself busy and in time you will get there hug

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

things happen for a reason... you probably cant see that at the moment but get out there and look on it as a new beginning,,..... good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

It's an awful time, I feel for you..

If you can afford it and get the time off work, I'd highly recommend having a holiday. Just go on your own.

You won't regret it.

Best wishes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

This was our 3rd profile over 2 years we have met many really nice people on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

Thank you for all your support

I might go out for a drink tonight with a few school friends

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you for all your support

I might go out for a drink tonight with a few school friends"

Jesus your still at school?

Where are the parents at

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *its_n_piecesCouple
over a year ago

be around people ..... go to places where there are shit loads of people and strike up a conversation with as many of them as you can. you can't beat positive human interaction with people you've never met before for making you feel valued again. hanging out with existing friends is all well and good but they'll naturally try to say the right thing out of compassion and it won't help in the short term. i'm not saying ditch your mates though as they are still important. going to gigs is usually a good place.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

"Thank you for all your support

I might go out for a drink tonight with a few school friends

Jesus your still at school?

Where are the parents at

Lol reunion

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

"be around people ..... go to places where there are shit loads of people and strike up a conversation with as many of them as you can. you can't beat positive human interaction with people you've never met before for making you feel valued again. hanging out with existing friends is all well and good but they'll naturally try to say the right thing out of compassion and it won't help in the short term. i'm not saying ditch your mates though as they are still important. going to gigs is usually a good place."

Thanks that s a good idea

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Allow yourself to feel shit then put effort into things that make you feel good. Like spending time with mates.

Don't drown your sorrows with booze, that only makes things feel worse.

And time really does make all the difference

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

"Allow yourself to feel shit then put effort into things that make you feel good. Like spending time with mates.

Don't drown your sorrows with booze, that only makes things feel worse.

And time really does make all the difference

Thank you xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irceWoman
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Hi guys I have just broke up with my partner of ten years. Am really struggling to deal with it as I loved her very much. Any words of advice.

Please don't take piss am really feeling down atm."

Look up the phases of grief and understand its journey, one door closes and another opens, time for change go give it your all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Find something new to try of learn. Pick up s guitar & play, some pencils & draw, a camera & head out into the hills. Mix a fun new hobby with being around your friends & family. But also allow some time for grief, tears & sadness. Don't bury your feelings but don't let them engulf you either. Thoughts with you!

Mr J

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sianmale89Man
over a year ago

Stockport

try forget about her and just say to yourself it's never going to happen enough times till it sinks in eventually as painful as it might be...

in the end you will see yourself that it's over for whichever reason it finished then you will be sore and down for a time then eventually you will move on, try not to dwell on it too much OP..

hope this some what helped even though it's not the best off advice OP.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi guys I have just broke up with my partner of ten years. Am really struggling to deal with it as I loved her very much. Any words of advice.

Please don't take piss am really feeling down atm."

good luck. it's not something i've dealt with well in the past.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

It's a fucking pain

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sianmale89Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"It's a fucking pain"

have you tried keeping yourself busy be it from work, hobbies etc as that can take you're mind off it be for a few hours a day..

try talk to you're family members too or friends and clear you're mind mate, all the best.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Stay strong OP

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK I literally just read the first post so dont know the ins and outs but it's a tough one as I think every individual deals with break ups differently. One thing worth remembering is that its better to be single than be in a one way relationship, which by the sounds of the things would be the case for you. Remember that although you love her, you deserve someone that will love and respect you back hope you find a way to deal with this OP good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have close friends, they're always a win.

The free time you spent with your ex, use for something else.

Puppies, kittens, any animal really. They've helped me through a few break ups.

Video games have also helped.

I used to write a lot too.

But not in a while.

Hope at least one works for you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

[Removed by poster at 07/02/16 18:11:24]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

"Hi guys I have just broke up with my partner of ten years. Am really struggling to deal with it as I loved her very much. Any words of advice.

Please don't take piss am really feeling down atm.

Look up the phases of grief and understand its journey, one door closes and another opens, time for change go give it your all

Thank you xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *leepyangelCouple
over a year ago

over the hill and far away

How's it going??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to move forward and learn to be just you again . X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feel for you going through same wife wanted out after 13 years of marriage I have six kids too!

She has moved on to tinder shagging 2_0 up on me already so no respect for anyone's feelings. It hurts but life moves on be yourself enjoy life for you and if it happens it happens don't let your ex ruin your life x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi guys I have just broke up with my partner of ten years. Am really struggling to deal with it as I loved her very much. Any words of advice.

Please don't take piss am really feeling down atm."

Ten years is a long time, my friend. They often say that if a friendship can last ten years, it would last a lifetime.

Try to see that this is what's best for both of you, rather than staying together dishonestly. And appreciate how good the last decade was for you.

And as a matter of fact, you can consider yourself wealthy, because when you're gradually ready to move on, you'll have wisdom and experience of such a long term commitment to take with you, and if there's one thing women appreciate in a man, it's maturity.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi guys I have just broke up with my partner of ten years. Am really struggling to deal with it as I loved her very much. Any words of advice.

Please don't take piss am really feeling down atm."

Well for a start I think I would be not looking for sex as a temporary relief as you will just cause your body and mind to be less in Union which will cause lots of issues. Obviously nobody knows what has occurred between you and your partner but after 10 years it will hurt a bit but get back in touch with yourself and do things in your own way and you might quite like the 'you' that you get back in touch with

I hope it all works out for you but please don't make yourself look needy,not many find that attractive.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dluv2Man
over a year ago

glasgow

Bluntly "fuck her move on" if it's broke it will always be broke, millions of new adventures to be had in life. Do what people do here have wild sexual encounters try some fantasys and explore what having fun is all aboub. Plenty of good people here that will help keep your mind busy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

Keep your mind busy

i know its hard

not to think of the ex....dont over think an pamper yourself

An best of all get out an about...esp with friends

hope this helps

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *assie48Woman
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

Just keep ur head held high I was in this situation two years ago but don't rush into anything else get ur head clear first wen my ex left he left his kids behind who weren't mine so I had that to contend with also all the lies him and his new partner were telling people about me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

Tried everything it just plays on my mind don't know what to do....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a dog, it won't help you initially but it will take your mind off things slightly as it will need looking after.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

Thankx everone for your kind and thoughtfull advice i am in a happier place in my life now

Thankx again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ir_anthonyMan
over a year ago

kenilworth

"dignity at all costs"

Yes the only thing of value you can leave a relationship with is dignity

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ir_anthonyMan
over a year ago

kenilworth

"Get a dog, it won't help you initially but it will take your mind off things slightly as it will need looking after."

Got 3 labradors now

And no room on the bed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone

Bananaman.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

A couple of years down the line I am in a better place I am still single .

I appreciate all the kind words you guys gave me thank you very much .

God bless you all you were there in my bad times xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A couple of years down the line I am in a better place I am still single .

I appreciate all the kind words you guys gave me thank you very much .

God bless you all you were there in my bad times xxx"

Glad to hear you're in a better place

As devastating as it must have been - its not the end of the world

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When it's hard, remember why you broke up. As time passes the grief will fade but so will the memory of why you left. It's important that you remember this elsethere will be a constant temptation to go back. Splitting up is genuinely like a death - the person may not be dead but in a way they are to you. Whatever made you split, you were together 10 years and that's gonna include a lot of happy memories. No need to dismiss them, they were and are real - just as the sad ones that made you split are too.

Time is a healer- and it may take a long time but if you stick with it you will get there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

"When it's hard, remember why you broke up. As time passes the grief will fade but so will the memory of why you left. It's important that you remember this elsethere will be a constant temptation to go back. Splitting up is genuinely like a death - the person may not be dead but in a way they are to you. Whatever made you split, you were together 10 years and that's gonna include a lot of happy memories. No need to dismiss them, they were and are real - just as the sad ones that made you split are too.

Time is a healer- and it may take a long time but if you stick with it you will get there.

Mr"

So true thanks for that I was thee a few weeks ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fb OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

There

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread