FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Knowing you should walk away

Jump to newest
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway

When is it time to walk away,met a girl not on the site recently absolute darling gorgeous funny and great company,the problem is she also has a dom (not on site) who makes her life miserable,I'm not up to speed on the whole dom/sub culture but I do not think the dom is supposed to make the sub cry practically daily by being an asshole to the sub or maybe I am wrong? I want to walk away and wash my hands of it but this girl has something special about her and I would be loathe to think that I have turned my back on her in an hour of need.Does anybody have any advice I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

As I've got older, especially the last 18 months I've found I've had to walk away from things if they are affecting me in a negative way.

I can't always achieve this it I do where possible.

You can be there for her but its her decision whether she stays in the relationship or not

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you want to walk away if she's so special?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the bird you're fucking continues to see randoms......that's when you know to walk away lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I'm not up to speed on the whole dom/sub culture but I do not think the dom is supposed to make the sub cry practically daily by being an asshole to the sub or maybe I am wrong?"

I've always suspected, at least some, Doms use it as an excuse for abuse.

What needs to happen is she walks away from him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you really like her, you could offer to be there as a friend, so don't get involved but she may feel strong enough to get away from what sounds like a messy situation. If you're not sure about it, it sounds like a messy situation and I don't think anyone would blame you for just walking away from it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does she think you are special enough to leave him?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"Why do you want to walk away if she's so special?

"

That's my conundrum,when I knew she had a dom,our initial meets were coffee and chats,she told me she is very unhappy with this guy and he is constantly hurting her mentally,I do not know about the sub/dom thing so I do not want to interfere in it without invitation,she is a very sweet girl and usually in these situations I coud walk away without so much as a backwards glance but I guess it's the Princess in the tower scenario I don not wish to just abandon her if she indeed needs help from me.Perhaps I am being a total fool.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"Does she think you are special enough to leave him?"

I don't think I am special at all no,but she has a certain je ne sais quoi.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do you want to walk away if she's so special?

That's my conundrum,when I knew she had a dom,our initial meets were coffee and chats,she told me she is very unhappy with this guy and he is constantly hurting her mentally,I do not know about the sub/dom thing so I do not want to interfere in it without invitation,she is a very sweet girl and usually in these situations I coud walk away without so much as a backwards glance but I guess it's the Princess in the tower scenario I don not wish to just abandon her if she indeed needs help from me.Perhaps I am being a total fool."

Have you asked her if she wants out for the D/s relationship she is in?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont mean to sound horrible, but if someone I was dating was crying everyday about another woman...

I would walk away as clearly there is some emotional attachment to the other woman

Im to selfish to be someone,s shoulder to cry on..

Meeting someone new is meant to be fun and intense and full of cant wait to see you to rip your clothes off...

Not handing over tissues to wipe up tears

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight, "

I have done something similar in the past for a friend of mine but I ended up being the bad guy for beating a guy who was beating his girlfriend when she denied he was doing this.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I don not wish to just abandon her if she indeed needs help from me.Perhaps I am being a total fool."

I think you are being a decent guy. She needs to get aways from what is so horrible for her.

If you can help her, regardless of whether you end up together then you will have done a goo thing.

In my opinion anyway.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"I dont mean to sound horrible, but if someone I was dating was crying everyday about another woman...

I would walk away as clearly there is some emotional attachment to the other woman

Im to selfish to be someone,s shoulder to cry on..

Meeting someone new is meant to be fun and intense and full of cant wait to see you to rip your clothes off...

Not handing over tissues to wipe up tears "

Our initial meeting was nothing to do with a sexual relationship it was just as two people who met, I know what you mean but perhaps I an too empathic to do what you said.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know if you can do any more than just being a friendly shoulder to lean on? She needs to sort this out, you can't do it for her. But I guess you know that!

I suppose she will leave when she has had enough, who knows when that will be! And you may have had enough of supporting her by then.

But it's lovely that you want to be there for her. Good luck x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"I don not wish to just abandon her if she indeed needs help from me.Perhaps I am being a total fool.

I think you are being a decent guy. She needs to get aways from what is so horrible for her.

If you can help her, regardless of whether you end up together then you will have done a goo thing.

In my opinion anyway."

I don't think we will end up together I just see this lovely person knowing she is in a bad situation (not always) and I would hate to think I am not man enough to be there for her but at the same time if she chooses to take the mental abuse and stay with this guy how long do I offer to be her shoulder?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But your friend must not have the same feelings toward you...

As she has had no thought as to how it makes you feel talking about another man...

I know I sound blunt, but that how im seeing it :-/

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know if you can do any more than just being a friendly shoulder to lean on? She needs to sort this out, you can't do it for her. But I guess you know that!

I suppose she will leave when she has had enough, who knows when that will be! And you may have had enough of supporting her by then.

But it's lovely that you want to be there for her. Good luck x"

Saved me typing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds like she is an emotional abusive relationship. How does she feel about her own self worth. Lifestyle choices should be fun and not to make you cry or feel lousy about yourself. Talk to her be there as a friend but keep a relationship off the table until she is feeling stronger also there are some very good helplines out there. There is so many layers of domestic abuse. Bruises heal its the emotional scars that last a lifetime x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"But your friend must not have the same feelings toward you...

As she has had no thought as to how it makes you feel talking about another man...

I know I sound blunt, but that how im seeing it :-/"

No she doesn't have the same feelings but regardless whether she did or not I just feel if I walked away and something happened I would feel like a total wanker.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you the only person she talks to about this? If so if you walk away from her she might lose the only person she can confide in but that be said, what's your state of mind like? How are you coping?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Her relationship with this man sounds on the little you give us to go on, abusive. Based on what you've said I would say people in abusive relationships rarely leave them easily, you can continue to support her to stay in the relationship or you can support her in facing up to the reality of it and eventually leave it. Right now I think you're having your strings pulled.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"Are you the only person she talks to about this? If so if you walk away from her she might lose the only person she can confide in but that be said, what's your state of mind like? How are you coping? "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"It sounds like she is an emotional abusive relationship. How does she feel about her own self worth. Lifestyle choices should be fun and not to make you cry or feel lousy about yourself. Talk to her be there as a friend but keep a relationship off the table until she is feeling stronger also there are some very good helplines out there. There is so many layers of domestic abuse. Bruises heal its the emotional scars that last a lifetime x"

I would not try to start a relationship with her on the back of this that itself I feel would be a form of abuse in so much as it would be taking advantage of someone when they are at their most vulnerable.I would not offer her more than friendship in the situation but I would love to open her eyes up to other possibilities.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But your friend must not have the same feelings toward you...

As she has had no thought as to how it makes you feel talking about another man...

I know I sound blunt, but that how im seeing it :-/

No she doesn't have the same feelings but regardless whether she did or not I just feel if I walked away and something happened I would feel like a total wanker."

If you dont mind me asking, are you and your lady friend in a sexual relationship ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

That's not a dom. That's an arsehole. D/s is not about abuse, or damaging people. It can be quite nurturing. I havw experience with both dom and sub roles and it is not about hurting someone mentally.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"Are you the only person she talks to about this? If so if you walk away from her she might lose the only person she can confide in but that be said, what's your state of mind like? How are you coping? "

my emotional state as a male is if I were given the nod I would meet the guy and inform him that the abuse stops and he would have to deal with it.The trouble for me is I don't know enough about the culture to have an informed opinion.I'm thick and ugly enough to be grand in my own headspace though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


" Her relationship with this man sounds on the little you give us to go on, abusive. Based on what you've said I would say people in abusive relationships rarely leave them easily"

I agree and you're right. It took me 22 years to leave mine.

But if someone had maybe made me see the light earlier I might have managed it sooner. Who knows.

I think the OP needs to find out what the girl actually wants. And if he can convince her that being on her own is a millions times better than being with an abuser she might have a chance.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"my emotional state as a male is if I were given the nod I would meet the guy and inform him that the abuse stops and he would have to deal with it.The trouble for me is I don't know enough about the culture to have an informed opinion.I'm thick and ugly enough to be grand in my own headspace though. "

Apart from anything Dom/Sub is NOT an excuse for actually abuse.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"But your friend must not have the same feelings toward you...

As she has had no thought as to how it makes you feel talking about another man...

I know I sound blunt, but that how im seeing it :-/

No she doesn't have the same feelings but regardless whether she did or not I just feel if I walked away and something happened I would feel like a total wanker.

If you dont mind me asking, are you and your lady friend in a sexual relationship ?"

no we aren't I wouldn't think of starting one with her due to her circumstances,it would just be another thing playing on her mind.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

at the end of the day she is the one who is going to have to make the decision.... all you can do is offer her a "way out" if you think she is special enough, keep that way out open

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best thing you can do is be a friend without expecting too much.. It's her call and if you get too involved you could end up hurt too.. Difficult one OP but what a gent for being there for her lovely

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway

Thanks all for your replies,you have been quite helpful,I think I shall just continue to be the shoulder she needs,if and when she leaves him then I shall let her decide what road she wants to take next.Thanks again guys x x x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight, "

Do this OP. Every girl loves a violent man

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

Do this OP. Every girl loves a violent man "

Only end up being the bad guy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's not a dom. That's an arsehole. D/s is not about abuse, or damaging people. It can be quite nurturing. I havw experience with both dom and sub roles and it is not about hurting someone mentally. "

Pretty much what I was thinking, not so much a Dom, more of a bully using D/s as a mask for abuse

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

Do this OP. Every girl loves a violent man

Only end up being the bad guy."

Do you know the man she's involved with?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn't the fact that she is in this Dom sub relationship through choice a concern ?

Perhaps her relationship with you works as she has the other relationship too ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok im being blunt again ...

I asked if your in a sexual relationship as...

If your not she see,s you as a friend to r talk with as she wouldnt be able to chat with her everyday family/ friends...

If you are in a sexual relationship, your investing your emotions that arent truely reciprocated and ultimately your the one who will get hurt :-/

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

Do this OP. Every girl loves a violent man

Only end up being the bad guy."

Ti clarift my post was meant sarcastically. It amazes me that anyone would suggest that violence is the answer

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

Do this OP. Every girl loves a violent man

Only end up being the bad guy.

Do you know the man she's involved with? "

Haven't met him don't want to because as much as I swear I would not say anything to myself who knows?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

Do this OP. Every girl loves a violent man

Only end up being the bad guy.

Ti clarift my post was meant sarcastically. It amazes me that anyone would suggest that violence is the answer"

I'm not a believer in unnecessary aggression I preferred to get in a ring and batter the shit out of someone who is battering the shit outa me than have a laugh about it after

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

Be there for her if you want - but don't expect anything to come from it.

I met my best friend on here, who was in an emotionally abusive relationship at the time (not d/s).

She didn't really have much of a support network at the time, and I made sure that she knew that I was there for her, whatever, whenever.

It took her a couple of years to get out of the relationship (and she spent a good part of that not wanting to leave), but she did in the end. NOw she has a loveley new boyfriend, isn't on fabs anymore and is generally spending time enjoying her life and her family and its genuinely heartwarming to see.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

I have done something similar in the past for a friend of mine but I ended up being the bad guy for beating a guy who was beating his girlfriend when she denied he was doing this."
Maybe he will find out your fucking his lass and turn up and beat the fuck out of you,if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

Do this OP. Every girl loves a violent man

Only end up being the bad guy.

Do you know the man she's involved with?

Haven't met him don't want to because as much as I swear I would not say anything to myself who knows?

"

Hmm, I think you should be careful of the motives of all concerned, conscious and unconscious.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's not a dom. That's an arsehole. D/s is not about abuse, or damaging people. It can be quite nurturing. I havw experience with both dom and sub roles and it is not about hurting someone mentally. "

I need to agree with this.

I am in a sub/dom relationship and I can tell you now from what you have said, your friend is in a shitty relationship. If he controls her but that doesn't give her pleasure then it is wrong.

I would suggest you be her go to,we all need a go to from time to time, as others have said you may be her only go to.

But....

Look after yourself too and at least try to get her to see what this does to her.

Ask her if she enjoys the way she is feeling, if no then it's not a d/s relationship, it's bullying.

Good luck OP x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"When the bird you're fucking continues to see randoms......that's when you know to walk away lol"

This chap managed to walk away before there was even a consensus

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

I have done something similar in the past for a friend of mine but I ended up being the bad guy for beating a guy who was beating his girlfriend when she denied he was doing this.Maybe he will find out your fucking his lass and turn up and beat the fuck out of you,if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty "

That's bullshit! I spent 7 years in an abusive relationship, doesn't mean I was stupid, I had just been ground down enough not to see my worth or have the strength to leave.

What an appalling thing to say.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

I have done something similar in the past for a friend of mine but I ended up being the bad guy for beating a guy who was beating his girlfriend when she denied he was doing this.Maybe he will find out your fucking his lass and turn up and beat the fuck out of you,if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty "

you obviously haven't read what I said,we are not in a sexual relationship at all,the thing about him kicking my ass well if it happens it happens but I can assure you bigger have tried and failed in the past although smaller have tried and succeeded,my point is I may not be the biggest out there but I can hold my own.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My opinion....

Rod for your own back... if she is willing to put up with abuse on a daily basis because she enjoys the dom/sub thing how needy do you think she is going to be ?

Not to mention if he is as Dom as you are saying there is no way she would be talking to you because she would probably need his permission to fart let alone converse with anybody else so deeply sorry but she sounds like a drama Llama to me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"That's not a dom. That's an arsehole. D/s is not about abuse, or damaging people. It can be quite nurturing. I havw experience with both dom and sub roles and it is not about hurting someone mentally.

I need to agree with this.

I am in a sub/dom relationship and I can tell you now from what you have said, your friend is in a shitty relationship. If he controls her but that doesn't give her pleasure then it is wrong.

I would suggest you be her go to,we all need a go to from time to time, as others have said you may be her only go to.

But....

Look after yourself too and at least try to get her to see what this does to her.

Ask her if she enjoys the way she is feeling, if no then it's not a d/s relationship, it's bullying.

Good luck OP x

"

Thanks missy I do feel I will stay as her as you put it go to I guess some things are more of a priority than others.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The most important thing to remember op is it is Your choice, whatever that may be . As I've gotten older I've learned to look after myself first , your own peace and well being is the most important thing and it's okay to let go of negative people . You should consider if this friendship is good for you , if it's exhausting , negative and one sided then I would walk away . Your friend makes her own choices and sometimes no matter what you do or how much you try to help and be there for someone they Will continue to make bad choices . There are also people who thrive on the attention they get by playing " the princess in the tower " . I'd really take the time to consider if the impact this is having on your life is worth it .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi OP,

I think that you have been given some great advice by the Forum. Like you I can't say I have much experience of the Dom / Sub dynamic, however my understanding is that the Dom cares for both the physical and emotional needs of his/her submissive. The relationship as you describe it doesn't sound healthy.

I work with a charity that helps people dealing with domestic abuse, I realise this has a slightly different twist but you would be amazed what an abuser can inflict and a victim can endure.

I think you should like an amazing man for the concern you've shown. If you can support this lady please do but be mindful for yourself and don't do more than you can bare.

Good luck OP

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

I have done something similar in the past for a friend of mine but I ended up being the bad guy for beating a guy who was beating his girlfriend when she denied he was doing this.Maybe he will find out your fucking his lass and turn up and beat the fuck out of you,if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty

That's bullshit! I spent 7 years in an abusive relationship, doesn't mean I was stupid, I had just been ground down enough not to see my worth or have the strength to leave.

What an appalling thing to say."

I hope you are on your feet and strong now ...

The post was obviously from someone with no understanding of abuse ..

Some people are ignorant because they havent experienced what they post about...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The most important thing to remember op is it is Your choice, whatever that may be . As I've gotten older I've learned to look after myself first , your own peace and well being is the most important thing and it's okay to let go of negative people . You should consider if this friendship is good for you , if it's exhausting , negative and one sided then I would walk away . Your friend makes her own choices and sometimes no matter what you do or how much you try to help and be there for someone they Will continue to make bad choices . There are also people who thrive on the attention they get by playing " the princess in the tower " . I'd really take the time to consider if the impact this is having on your life is worth it . "

I couldn't of put it better if I tried. Exactly what I have just done and the relief is almost instant

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"My opinion....

Rod for your own back... if she is willing to put up with abuse on a daily basis because she enjoys the dom/sub thing how needy do you think she is going to be ?

Not to mention if he is as Dom as you are saying there is no way she would be talking to you because she would probably need his permission to fart let alone converse with anybody else so deeply sorry but she sounds like a drama Llama to me "

Sometimes, people in abusive relationships just need someone (and I dare say it helped that I'm almost a decade older than her and quite...forthright in my views) that they can trust to be there for them, and to tell them that what they are going through just is not bloody acceptable (you may have to re-iterate this repeatedly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

I have done something similar in the past for a friend of mine but I ended up being the bad guy for beating a guy who was beating his girlfriend when she denied he was doing this.Maybe he will find out your fucking his lass and turn up and beat the fuck out of you,if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty "

Honest in your opinion but fucking mean too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway

Thanks again guys for all the advice,looks like there are some superstars on here after all x x x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In MY earnest and frank opinion I loathe the sub/Dom thing. It's captivating like a terrible disaster. I can understand some of the club stuff chains etc but the private outright abuse. Makes me want to go hulk.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty "

You know noting of how an abusive relationship works. It's good that you don't but thinking the women are "too stupid" is pure ignorance of those situations.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

I have done something similar in the past for a friend of mine but I ended up being the bad guy for beating a guy who was beating his girlfriend when she denied he was doing this.Maybe he will find out your fucking his lass and turn up and beat the fuck out of you,if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty

Honest in your opinion but fucking mean too."
no honesty if you stupid enough to be fooled

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"Thanks again guys for all the advice,looks like there are some superstars on here after all x x x"

If your help...helps, then it is just loveley seeing someone blossom once the bullshit is over.

I'm very proud of my friend and consider her 'family'.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

I have done something similar in the past for a friend of mine but I ended up being the bad guy for beating a guy who was beating his girlfriend when she denied he was doing this.Maybe he will find out your fucking his lass and turn up and beat the fuck out of you,if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty

That's bullshit! I spent 7 years in an abusive relationship, doesn't mean I was stupid, I had just been ground down enough not to see my worth or have the strength to leave.

What an appalling thing to say.

I hope you are on your feet and strong now ...

The post was obviously from someone with no understanding of abuse ..

Some people are ignorant because they havent experienced what they post about...

"

Thank-you, yes me I am 11 yrs clear of it with 2 beautiful children that I have managed to raise without him, they are respectful and loving. But christ I really had to reach the bottom.

I'm proud of me and my babies x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty

You know noting of how an abusive relationship works. It's good that you don't but thinking the women are "too stupid" is pure ignorance of those situations."
okay if they are stupid they are weak mentally even knows to retaliate when it's beaten

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty

You know noting of how an abusive relationship works. It's good that you don't but thinking the women are "too stupid" is pure ignorance of those situations.okay if they are stupid they are weak mentally even knows to retaliate when it's beaten"
a dog*

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry I'm stereotyping here some people are just too stupid to change whilst others are scared

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My opinion....

Rod for your own back... if she is willing to put up with abuse on a daily basis because she enjoys the dom/sub thing how needy do you think she is going to be ?

Not to mention if he is as Dom as you are saying there is no way she would be talking to you because she would probably need his permission to fart let alone converse with anybody else so deeply sorry but she sounds like a drama Llama to me

Sometimes, people in abusive relationships just need someone (and I dare say it helped that I'm almost a decade older than her and quite...forthright in my views) that they can trust to be there for them, and to tell them that what they are going through just is not bloody acceptable (you may have to re-iterate this repeatedly "

In can be a total emotional drain on the person they are running to all the time with the same issue over and over again but who is also happy to stay in the shitty situation....like they say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and there is a very MASSIVE difference between an abusive relationship and a sub/dom relationship!

In the latter the sub does ultimately hold the power, she just choses to submit that power, and when you can do that to someone you truly love and who loves you right back it can be very liberating.... But the difference is at any point the sub can stop it! And we do stop it! And we communicate with our partners as to where things went wrong and we adjust and move forward together.

In an abusive relationship you have no say, you have no control, they do not understand stop, they do not understand communication.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

I have done something similar in the past for a friend of mine but I ended up being the bad guy for beating a guy who was beating his girlfriend when she denied he was doing this.Maybe he will find out your fucking his lass and turn up and beat the fuck out of you,if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty

Honest in your opinion but fucking mean too.no honesty if you stupid enough to be fooled "

People that suffer from abuse are not stupid. It applies to people from all demographics. For the abuser it is a power thing and they are often very smart in their approach.

I realise Fab is a fun site but it attracts all walks of life, please be mindful of the things that we say because anyone reading this could be in an abusive relationship and some of the comments could impact them significantly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

I have done something similar in the past for a friend of mine but I ended up being the bad guy for beating a guy who was beating his girlfriend when she denied he was doing this.Maybe he will find out your fucking his lass and turn up and beat the fuck out of you,if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty

That's bullshit! I spent 7 years in an abusive relationship, doesn't mean I was stupid, I had just been ground down enough not to see my worth or have the strength to leave.

What an appalling thing to say.

I hope you are on your feet and strong now ...

The post was obviously from someone with no understanding of abuse ..

Some people are ignorant because they havent experienced what they post about...

Thank-you, yes me I am 11 yrs clear of it with 2 beautiful children that I have managed to raise without him, they are respectful and loving. But christ I really had to reach the bottom.

I'm proud of me and my babies x"

As you should be.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

I have done something similar in the past for a friend of mine but I ended up being the bad guy for beating a guy who was beating his girlfriend when she denied he was doing this.Maybe he will find out your fucking his lass and turn up and beat the fuck out of you,if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty

Honest in your opinion but fucking mean too.no honesty if you stupid enough to be fooled

People that suffer from abuse are not stupid. It applies to people from all demographics. For the abuser it is a power thing and they are often very smart in their approach.

I realise Fab is a fun site but it attracts all walks of life, please be mindful of the things that we say because anyone reading this could be in an abusive relationship and some of the comments could impact them significantly "
its true always try and bring your positivity wherever you go.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes and there is a very MASSIVE difference between an abusive relationship and a sub/dom relationship!

In the latter the sub does ultimately hold the power, she just choses to submit that power, and when you can do that to someone you truly love and who loves you right back it can be very liberating.... But the difference is at any point the sub can stop it! And we do stop it! And we communicate with our partners as to where things went wrong and we adjust and move forward together.

In an abusive relationship you have no say, you have no control, they do not understand stop, they do not understand communication. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty

You know noting of how an abusive relationship works. It's good that you don't but thinking the women are "too stupid" is pure ignorance of those situations.okay if they are stupid they are weak mentally even knows to retaliate when it's beaten"

Eventually yes they have been weakened through systematic abuse. You're an amazingly ignorant human being btw

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We don't actually know that the woman concerned is in an abusive relationship. We have been told that she "cries practically every day" not sure how often that is, because the guy who is her dom is an asshole to her. There could be loads more explanations.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

I have done something similar in the past for a friend of mine but I ended up being the bad guy for beating a guy who was beating his girlfriend when she denied he was doing this.Maybe he will find out your fucking his lass and turn up and beat the fuck out of you,if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty

That's bullshit! I spent 7 years in an abusive relationship, doesn't mean I was stupid, I had just been ground down enough not to see my worth or have the strength to leave.

What an appalling thing to say.

I hope you are on your feet and strong now ...

The post was obviously from someone with no understanding of abuse ..

Some people are ignorant because they havent experienced what they post about...

Thank-you, yes me I am 11 yrs clear of it with 2 beautiful children that I have managed to raise without him, they are respectful and loving. But christ I really had to reach the bottom.

I'm proud of me and my babies x

As you should be. "

Thank-you knitter xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"find out where the dom lives and offer them out,,if you want this woman she must be worth a fight,

I have done something similar in the past for a friend of mine but I ended up being the bad guy for beating a guy who was beating his girlfriend when she denied he was doing this.Maybe he will find out your fucking his lass and turn up and beat the fuck out of you,if she is stupid enough to put up with his shit then she is too stupid to help...just basic honesty

That's bullshit! I spent 7 years in an abusive relationship, doesn't mean I was stupid, I had just been ground down enough not to see my worth or have the strength to leave.

What an appalling thing to say.

I hope you are on your feet and strong now ...

The post was obviously from someone with no understanding of abuse ..

Some people are ignorant because they havent experienced what they post about...

Thank-you, yes me I am 11 yrs clear of it with 2 beautiful children that I have managed to raise without him, they are respectful and loving. But christ I really had to reach the bottom.

I'm proud of me and my babies x

As you should be.

Thank-you knitter xx"

You are very welcome whilst I work with people daily I am always amazed and the strength of character especially those who will give up their whole world for their children.

You should as you are be exceptionally proud of what you have achieved and your beautiful children.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried to inbox you but I'm the wrong sex lol.

Hopefully OP's friend will get there too x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tried to inbox you but I'm the wrong sex lol.

Hopefully OP's friend will get there too x"

Will message you that should open the gateway lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xyzptlk088 OP   Man
over a year ago

Galway


"Tried to inbox you but I'm the wrong sex lol.

Hopefully OP's friend will get there too x

Will message you that should open the gateway lol"

the 2 of ye should indeed get along as ye are both sweethearts guys

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tried to inbox you but I'm the wrong sex lol.

Hopefully OP's friend will get there too x

Will message you that should open the gateway lol

the 2 of ye should indeed get along as ye are both sweethearts guys "

Ahh shucks thank you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Don't rescue people. They make their own paths in life.

Her relationship - being in it or ending it, is fully her responsibility. She is not an abused animal.

Knowing and respecting boundaries is healthy and a mature adult response.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top