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Advice for a friend (yes an actual friend not me in disguise lol)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Opinion please:

A close friend of mine is stuck at a crossroads and doesn't know what to do so like a good friend I'm sticking it on a public forum to get opinions from total strangers!

He has been friends with this girl for years and spoke occasionally, last year they became close, they text each other up to 50 times A day or more, they share everything, they have had moments of intimacy (kissing and sex) over the past year, he's single, she has a partner but she has tried throwing him out on a number of occasions, normally after my friend and her have had a night together or shared a moment or two.

My friend has told her how he feels (yep fallen in love with her) and she didn't say she didn't feel the same way, she just said she had her boyfriend, then one night a few months back she went round to my friends and told him how she felt (she wants to move away with him and all that) and this resulted in her slapping her partner in the face when he was nasty about my friend and then going off the grid for a few days.

But this is the awkward thing, she will never admit her feelings unless she's had Dutch courage and spends most of the time in a closed of state, if people are around when the two of them are together she will make sure she isn't alone with my friend, that she doesn't have too much to drink and goes over the top not to sit next to him but last night my friend was round hers while her partner was there, not only did she shove her partner into a corner chair so they could sit next to each other, lay over him at one point and then she touched him (which she never does sober) while they were alone in the garden having a smoke (which incidentally she told her partner he wasn't welcome to join them)

The dilemma if your still reading this: does my friend talk her to about what's going on and risk his friendship or does he not say anything and take those moments they have together?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Opinion please:

A close friend of mine is stuck at a crossroads and doesn't know what to do so like a good friend I'm sticking it on a public forum to get opinions from total strangers!

He has been friends with this girl for years and spoke occasionally, last year they became close, they text each other up to 50 times A day or more, they share everything, they have had moments of intimacy (kissing and sex) over the past year, he's single, she has a partner but she has tried throwing him out on a number of occasions, normally after my friend and her have had a night together or shared a moment or two.

My friend has told her how he feels (yep fallen in love with her) and she didn't say she didn't feel the same way, she just said she had her boyfriend, then one night a few months back she went round to my friends and told him how she felt (she wants to move away with him and all that) and this resulted in her slapping her partner in the face when he was nasty about my friend and then going off the grid for a few days.

But this is the awkward thing, she will never admit her feelings unless she's had Dutch courage and spends most of the time in a closed of state, if people are around when the two of them are together she will make sure she isn't alone with my friend, that she doesn't have too much to drink and goes over the top not to sit next to him but last night my friend was round hers while her partner was there, not only did she shove her partner into a corner chair so they could sit next to each other, lay over him at one point and then she touched him (which she never does sober) while they were alone in the garden having a smoke (which incidentally she told her partner he wasn't welcome to join them)

The dilemma if your still reading this: does my friend talk her to about what's going on and risk his friendship or does he not say anything and take those moments they have together?"

He needs to ask himself if he is happy with that type of

Relationship if he is all well and good

If this makes him unhappy he dumps her and changes his number

He will get over it

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Communication tell her

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Communication tell her"

This is what I told him!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

That's not a friendship, thats a trainwreck. I don't know either of them, but if what you say is true, he's being a doormat just to get rare kisses and sex.

He needs to cut off any contact with this couple and find someone who would be into him and only him.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

He needs to wake up and smell the coffee, this lady wants her cake with a cherry on top and eat it. She's playing him for a fool.

Harsh, I know but there we have it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He has to tell her x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's not a friendship, thats a trainwreck. I don't know either of them, but if what you say is true, he's being a doormat just to get rare kisses and sex.

He needs to cut off any contact with this couple and find someone who would be into him and only him."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"He has to tell her x"

I think maybe an ultimatum but those never work out

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

However I will say that we only have one side of the story and website know how far he's contributing to the situation.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"He has to tell her x

I think maybe an ultimatum but those never work out "

No because she has him round her little finger and will talk him round.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Wa til she's single.

Until then, nothing can move forward.

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By *inxandmaybeCouple
over a year ago

Wells

At the moment she seems to have all she needs, and some people do enjoy living with this sort of drama. I think he needs to walk away and whether she follows or not, he will have his answer.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Only going by what you have written she seems an exfremely unpleasant woman, violent to her partner, humiliating him and treating your friend like a door mat.

Sounds to me both her partner and your friend would be better off without her but i shall say my usual phrase someone can only do to you what you allow them to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He needs to wake up and smell the coffee, this lady wants her cake with a cherry on top and eat it. She's playing him for a fool.

Harsh, I know but there we have it."
based on what you say i agree with this reply.. Sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a word in your friends ear and tell him to give his head a wobble.

Speak quietly to your friend though, else anyone in ear shot will think you're talking to yourself

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By *inxandmaybeCouple
over a year ago

Wells


"Only going by what you have written she seems an exfremely unpleasant woman, violent to her partner, humiliating him and treating your friend like a door mat.

Sounds to me both her partner and your friend would be better off without her but i shall say my usual phrase someone can only do to you what you allow them to"

Spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask your friend why he would want a relationship with such a heartless biatch?

If she does dump her bf, who's to say that she will change her ways, after all she's already shown him her true colours!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think she deserves either men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tell him to find someone that is worthy of him and isn't playing him or her partner

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