FabSwingers.com forum: Snap Judgements

By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Athena's thread just disappeared for some reason - but I'd just written a reply to a post someone wrote on it which I thought made a good point - so repeating it here:

"Sometimes, I find myself checking messages and getting antsy. I have to stop myself and just let it go. These people don't know me nor who I am and ladies on here tend to make snap judgements based upon minor details, its the nature of the beast, so its not personal. It may sting, rejection on any scale does, but you're still you so take strength from that"

That's a very good point unrelated to Athena's predicament - if a lady gets a busy patch it can be really difficult to work out who is going to be a better bet to talk to, and people have to be ruled out by some very arbitrary snap judgements - simply because there is just not time to meet everyone.

It really is 'nothing personal' a lot of the time, and on a quiet day, or if you got chatting, it might all be quite different sometimes.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

although most is 'not personal', the preferred position a lot of the time is 'outraged or aggrieved'.

it's worn like a badge of honour....

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

so you are doomed and dammed if you do, dammed if you don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally empathize with this and whilst it's not exactly the same i get frustrated by people who don't read my profile. I just got blocked by a couple after they sent me a supercillious message not allowing me to reply. They didn't read my profile and didn't like the fact I don't meet alone when I told them this. But i need to build a bridge and get over it lol. But this makes me wonder what is the more discourtious not reading a profile or deleting a message from someone because they don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's the nature of online (and to some extent real world) interactions with people that you do make snap judgements. We all do it.

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I totally empathize with this and whilst it's not exactly the same i get frustrated by people who don't read my profile. I just got blocked by a couple after they sent me a supercillious message not allowing me to reply. They didn't read my profile and didn't like the fact I don't meet alone when I told them this. But i need to build a bridge and get over it lol. But this makes me wonder what is the more discourtious not reading a profile or deleting a message from someone because they don't. "

Oh I'm afraid I reserve the right to delete on sight if someone has totally ignored my stated preferences, then it really is just 'junk mail' in my eyes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's reassuring thank you. But your original post inspired me to be more self reflective about my attitude and conduct on here. Mostly I think its a great example of Betaries box. The cyclic model that explains how our behaviour effects others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agreed x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes there are a lot of troll like people in the chat rooms who just seem to be looking for offence lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've found the same thing many, many times with my threads over the years, just how frequently people take massive offence to something I've supposedly written, when had they taken the time to try and either read or understand it properly, they would have seen their was nothing offensive about it.

Ironically, I've found swingers to be some of the most closed minded, overly defensive and petty people I've come across online.

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By *sianmale89Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"I've found the same thing many, many times with my threads over the years, just how frequently people take massive offence to something I've supposedly written, when had they taken the time to try and either read or understand it properly, they would have seen their was nothing offensive about it.

Ironically, I've found swingers to be some of the most closed minded, overly defensive and petty people I've come across online."

I somewhat agree with what you're saying sexybrain as some people on here can be a little too sensitive or come across that way which has put me off at times...

that being said though I've done some petty things myself in the past on here which I'm not proud off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely! They're so body judgmental lol completely ironic lol

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