FabSwingers.com forum: Too trusting

By *iSTARess OP Woman
over a year ago

London

I'm currently off the casual market and looking for a relationship with someone kinky/sub/cuck/poly (I know this isn't a dating site but the chances of finding someone open to this lifestyle is higher here than vanilla sites..and yes I'm on those and the kinky ones too).

Today I've been let down by not just one but three meets today. All good chat, texting and phone calls then clang, the daft excuses spew forth and I've wasted a day.

Yes I'm a tough, straight talking Domme but people dicking me around gets to me. I take people on face value and trust them, perhaps too much.

How the hell do I get out of the habit and not get pissed off by it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

take a deep breath count to ten very slowly and dnt give the time wasters another thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you chat about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you start off small, so that anyone who dicks you over doesn't get the opportunity to ruin your whole day? So if you're meeting someone for the first time, for example, can it be somewhere you're going anyway so it's not too out of your way. Allow people to demonstrate that they're trustworthy bit by bit.

I'm quite distrustful of people and their motivations, and I have to have people show me that they can be relied on, not just tell me that they can.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

You haven't wasted a day, you may not have got a shag but you have narrowed down your potential love interests.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes potential meets change what was agreed play wise, to something that is not agreeable very late in the day.....often leading to cancelled meets....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I should imagine in the niche you occupy there are far more who talk the talk than walk the walk

Being dommed is not something every guy will want to make a reality but whilst the fantasy is going it's a different story.

Then the reality kicks in, the arse goes (or the wank ends) and 'boof' they disappear in a veil of smoke.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I always assume a guy won't show until he does. So I have backup plans

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As for how you don't allow people to get to you, always have a contigency, even if that is just something else you can be doing with your day.

Moreover, accept that there are more fantasists that realists and let downs are just an 'occupational hazard'

Oh & BTW, hope you find what you're looking for

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By *iSTARess OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"What do you chat about?"

Their previous BDSM experience, vanilla life stuff etc. No sexy chat.

I was a Domme for ten years so understand the fantasy vs reality struggle and vet them all before agreeing to a meet

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By *iSTARess OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"So if you're meeting someone for the first time, for example, can it be somewhere you're going anyway so it's not too out of your way. "

One was a lunch meet, the other two at a club tonight for a social. Arranged all three to spread my bets as it were

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By *iSTARess OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"As for how you don't allow people to get to you, always have a contigency, even if that is just something else you can be doing with your day.

Moreover, accept that there are more fantasists that realists and let downs are just an 'occupational hazard'

Oh & BTW, hope you find what you're looking for

Thanks

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

"I'm currently off the casual market and looking for a relationship with someone kinky/sub/cuck/poly (I know this isn't a dating site but the chances of finding someone open to this lifestyle is higher here than vanilla sites..and yes I'm on those and the kinky ones too).

Today I've been let down by not just one but three meets today. All good chat, texting and phone calls then clang, the daft excuses spew forth and I've wasted a day.

Yes I'm a tough, straight talking Domme but people dicking me around gets to me. I take people on face value and trust them, perhaps too much.

How the hell do I get out of the habit and not get pissed off by it?"

Take out your frustration on the next meeting, oops hope I haven't scared your next meeting away.

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By *iSTARess OP Woman
over a year ago

London

Today I've been let down by not just one but three meets today. All good chat, texting and phone calls then clang, the daft excuses spew forth and I've wasted a day.

Yes I'm a tough, straight talking Domme but people dicking me around gets to me. I take people on face value and trust them, perhaps too much.

How the hell do I get out of the habit and not get pissed off by it?

Take out your frustration on the next meeting, oops hope I haven't scared your next meeting away."

Could't do that. Wouldn't be fair on the poor sod who ends up on the end of my crop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we first joined this site we went out of our way for meets. And we were let down again and again.

We have since opened our eyes more, as it were. We plan meets usually when we are already planning on going somewhere. First time meets almost never happen when we wouldn't have been going somewhere anyway. And we don't do socials in clubs with single guys (or couples really). The cost is usually too high for them, thus leading to a higher likelihood of a no-show.

I hope you find better luck in the future!

-Courtney

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