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Child maintenance.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Do women ever pay it?

According to the csa when I asked, rarely.

It'd be nice to know some do.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I would imagine what's good for the gander is also good for the goose?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My auntie didn't. She lost custody of 2 of her kids and refused to pay anything for them. Had another kid with someone else and wouldn't let him see his kid unless he paid. Yes she is a knob.

My first ex is male and has also paid nothing for his 2 kids, ever. He is a knob also.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rules are the same regardless of the gender of the main care provider.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Someone who is in full time employment and is the absent parent pays maintainance to the parent with who the children live with.

If they are on benefits I believe a token payment is taken out.

However it's all worked out dependant on how often the parent has the child, other children and all sorts of things but has nothing to do with gender. Seems a very strange thing for the CSA to say

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Rules are the same regardless of the gender of the main care provider.

"

The lady at the csa explained it as this;

Men try to wriggle out of paying but in the end kinda know they'll have to where as women tend to say 'he wanted them he can pay for them'.

If a woman loses her kids she is usually not working or in a low paid job. Each time they try to assess her it's easy to just quit and then pick up another minimum wage job.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I never got a single penny of my ex and he is male.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I never got a single penny of my ex and he is male."

I have two ex's and neither paid a penny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes - i know a very highly paid woman who divorced and paid maintenance for the kids - ex had the main care of kids as her job was so high flying etc -

mine was worked out with shared care but somehow they just ended up with me -

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"yes - i know a very highly paid woman who divorced and paid maintenance for the kids - ex had the main care of kids as her job was so high flying etc -

mine was worked out with shared care but somehow they just ended up with me - "

Yay we have our first

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Rules are the same regardless of the gender of the main care provider.

The lady at the csa explained it as this;

Men try to wriggle out of paying but in the end kinda know they'll have to where as women tend to say 'he wanted them he can pay for them'.

If a woman loses her kids she is usually not working or in a low paid job. Each time they try to assess her it's easy to just quit and then pick up another minimum wage job. "
did you ask if women in good full time employment whose children lived with the father paid maintaince?

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By *ove bi guysWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Rules are the same regardless of the gender of the main care provider.

The lady at the csa explained it as this;

Men try to wriggle out of paying but in the end kinda know they'll have to where as women tend to say 'he wanted them he can pay for them'.

If a woman loses her kids she is usually not working or in a low paid job. Each time they try to assess her it's easy to just quit and then pick up another minimum wage job. "

The regulations are no different, i think the lady at the csa was saying its more difficult

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Rules are the same regardless of the gender of the main care provider.

The lady at the csa explained it as this;

Men try to wriggle out of paying but in the end kinda know they'll have to where as women tend to say 'he wanted them he can pay for them'.

If a woman loses her kids she is usually not working or in a low paid job. Each time they try to assess her it's easy to just quit and then pick up another minimum wage job. did you ask if women in good full time employment whose children lived with the father paid maintaince?"

No. I asked "do you tend to struggle to get money out of women?"

I was exasperated and struggling financially.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I never got a single penny of my ex and he is male.

I have two ex's and neither paid a penny."

Sad isn't it. It's not too bad if that parent actually can't afford to pay and invests time in them but this never happened either.

My sisters ex asked her to tell the CSA he was having his son overnight sometimes so he didn't have to pay anything, despite not bothering with him either. She told him to fuck off.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Rules are the same regardless of the gender of the main care provider.

The lady at the csa explained it as this;

Men try to wriggle out of paying but in the end kinda know they'll have to where as women tend to say 'he wanted them he can pay for them'.

If a woman loses her kids she is usually not working or in a low paid job. Each time they try to assess her it's easy to just quit and then pick up another minimum wage job. did you ask if women in good full time employment whose children lived with the father paid maintaince?

No. I asked "do you tend to struggle to get money out of women?"

I was exasperated and struggling financially. "
they struggle to get money out of "certain types* whether they are men or women.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I never got a single penny of my ex and he is male.

I have two ex's and neither paid a penny.

Sad isn't it. It's not too bad if that parent actually can't afford to pay and invests time in them but this never happened either.

My sisters ex asked her to tell the CSA he was having his son overnight sometimes so he didn't have to pay anything, despite not bothering with him either. She told him to fuck off.

"

Yes. Very sad. My eldest's mother didn't bother with her and my youngest's had supervised contact. She hardly ever showed up and then moved to yorkshire. God knows why. She just did an exchange of her council house.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm just hoping to hear lots of guys saying 'yes, my ex pays' to restore my faith in the system.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"yes - i know a very highly paid woman who divorced and paid maintenance for the kids - ex had the main care of kids as her job was so high flying etc -

mine was worked out with shared care but somehow they just ended up with me -

Yay we have our first "

i used to childmind her kids - they never saw her - sad really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I never got a single penny of my ex and he is male.

I have two ex's and neither paid a penny.

Sad isn't it. It's not too bad if that parent actually can't afford to pay and invests time in them but this never happened either.

My sisters ex asked her to tell the CSA he was having his son overnight sometimes so he didn't have to pay anything, despite not bothering with him either. She told him to fuck off.

Yes. Very sad. My eldest's mother didn't bother with her and my youngest's had supervised contact. She hardly ever showed up and then moved to yorkshire. God knows why. She just did an exchange of her council house. "

Selfishness, pure and simple.

Feel grateful my 2nd ex has taken my kids on so they have a dad to look up to.

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By *ove bi guysWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I'm just hoping to hear lots of guys saying 'yes, my ex pays' to restore my faith in the system. "

The system isnt perfect but its the absent parents who are in the wrong. There are less female nrps so it appears like many dont pay but I wouldnt think the stats are any higher than males. And for many it seems worse that women dont pay than men because historically majority of pwcs are women

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm just hoping to hear lots of guys saying 'yes, my ex pays' to restore my faith in the system.

The system isnt perfect but its the absent parents who are in the wrong. There are less female nrps so it appears like many dont pay but I wouldnt think the stats are any higher than males. And for many it seems worse that women dont pay than men because historically majority of pwcs are women"

True. I heard just 2% of single parents are male.

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By *ayercakeMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

My ex got a new boyfriend and moved away without leaving a forwarding address, even tho up till that point I had access regularly. I spent thousands through solicitors etc trying to trace my son without success.

I was then contacted by the CSA wanting maintenance. I explained that my child had been to all intents and purposes had been kidnapped by my ex and the only thing they would do is forward a letter to my ex, the very person who absconded with my son.

I have been denied a relationship with him since he was 5, the CSA are still looking to collect 35k from me now, my son is now 32.

The CSA are a disgusting organization with no interest in the child, they only want cash.

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By *epper123Woman
over a year ago

London


"My ex got a new boyfriend and moved away without leaving a forwarding address, even tho up till that point I had access regularly. I spent thousands through solicitors etc trying to trace my son without success.

I was then contacted by the CSA wanting maintenance. I explained that my child had been to all intents and purposes had been kidnapped by my ex and the only thing they would do is forward a letter to my ex, the very person who absconded with my son.

I have been denied a relationship with him since he was 5, the CSA are still looking to collect 35k from me now, my son is now 32.

The CSA are a disgusting organization with no interest in the child, they only want cash."

Wow, awful because you had no choice in it. Do you have a relationship with your son now? I am looking forward to my sons getting backdated maintenance for the 18 and 17 years I have supported them. My daughter told her dad he was tight fisted idiot and she did not want anything to do with him. She also told him that when she is old enough, she will sue him on my behalf as she knows how hard I worked to bring all three up on my own with no financial help (I have a well paid job, but not the point). When a parent chooses to be absent, they lose so much - more than you could ever put a price on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The csa said mothers rarely pay, compared to men? Is this the amount they have on their books, because the amount of men paying matinence is bound to be higher, as it is a fact that the mother normally is the sole carer of the children. However if it was based on stats of the percentage of each that pay then I guess it'd be different, not sure if justifiable though?

Now as the csa has gone and this other thing is in place, the primary carer can no longer get fined or warned if they don't apply for it (not that I'm sure many ever got fined anyway)!

Doesn't matter what the salary is of the absent parent, they're still meant to provide for their children. My ex pays towards the kids but we keep it away from the institutions.

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By *ayercakeMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

I returned from working in London on the Friday and went to pick my son and step-son up as usual, the house was empty and they were gone. My Solicitor and a private detective could not trace them. I have not seen my boy since he was 5, I have another son who I have supported all his life and still do even though he is now 36!.

As I said the CSA do not care about the child, they had the address of my son, my child but refused to help apart from to pass a letter from me to his mother who was the very person who had absconded with him. I loved him to bits and it still affects me now.

To add insult to injury the CSA are still persueing me for 35k to this day, threatening me with imprisonment, loss of driving license etc.

To me it is like asking the mccanns to pay maintenance to maddy's kidnappers.

Will I give the CSA money....will I fuck!.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My ex got a new boyfriend and moved away without leaving a forwarding address, even tho up till that point I had access regularly. I spent thousands through solicitors etc trying to trace my son without success.

I was then contacted by the CSA wanting maintenance. I explained that my child had been to all intents and purposes had been kidnapped by my ex and the only thing they would do is forward a letter to my ex, the very person who absconded with my son.

I have been denied a relationship with him since he was 5, the CSA are still looking to collect 35k from me now, my son is now 32.

The CSA are a disgusting organization with no interest in the child, they only want cash."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My ex got a new boyfriend and moved away without leaving a forwarding address, even tho up till that point I had access regularly. I spent thousands through solicitors etc trying to trace my son without success.

I was then contacted by the CSA wanting maintenance. I explained that my child had been to all intents and purposes had been kidnapped by my ex and the only thing they would do is forward a letter to my ex, the very person who absconded with my son.

I have been denied a relationship with him since he was 5, the CSA are still looking to collect 35k from me now, my son is now 32.

The CSA are a disgusting organization with no interest in the child, they only want cash.

Wow, awful because you had no choice in it. Do you have a relationship with your son now? I am looking forward to my sons getting backdated maintenance for the 18 and 17 years I have supported them. My daughter told her dad he was tight fisted idiot and she did not want anything to do with him. She also told him that when she is old enough, she will sue him on my behalf as she knows how hard I worked to bring all three up on my own with no financial help (I have a well paid job, but not the point). When a parent chooses to be absent, they lose so much - more than you could ever put a price on. "

Can you get it back dated? That'd be rather lovely.

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