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doing whats right

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By *uby0000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

had my daughter home all weekend huge step for all of us as shes sectioned

I so dearly want her home but at 28 but with Aspergers syndrome they want her to do supported living

I cant be selfish either but she wants to return home too

what would you do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a tough decision. What do you want?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to look after patients in community and they were happy in supported living with people similar to themselves .made them feel more independent and family loved seeing them happy .Everyone is different though .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"had my daughter home all weekend huge step for all of us as shes sectioned

I so dearly want her home but at 28 but with Aspergers syndrome they want her to do supported living

I cant be selfish either but she wants to return home too

what would you do?"

As a man who brought his daughter up alone I could not bear not to be with her - whatever the circs. Do appreciate your position but try and find the strength to get through it and give her all the support and love you can - things will work out x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"had my daughter home all weekend huge step for all of us as shes sectioned

I so dearly want her home but at 28 but with Aspergers syndrome they want her to do supported living

I cant be selfish either but she wants to return home too

what would you do?"

When I had my first child my mum told me that people are full of wonderful advice that you should listen to, but at the end of the day nobody will ever know your child the way you do, so do what you're heart is telling you is right because a mother (most mothers) will always do what's best for their own child.

Good luck

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By *uby0000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"It's a tough decision. What do you want? "

id love her home but don't want to jeapodise the help she could get

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By *uby0000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"had my daughter home all weekend huge step for all of us as shes sectioned

I so dearly want her home but at 28 but with Aspergers syndrome they want her to do supported living

I cant be selfish either but she wants to return home too

what would you do?

As a man who brought his daughter up alone I could not bear not to be with her - whatever the circs. Do appreciate your position but try and find the strength to get through it and give her all the support and love you can - things will work out x"

its taken 5 years to get to this point I obviously didn't do a good job looking after her before or she wouldn't be in this situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's a tough decision. What do you want?

id love her home but don't want to jeapodise the help she could get"

What help can she get if she's at home, would it be enough?

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

OP, have you have the possibility to build/convert a small unit on your property? Throwing out ideas ..

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By *uby0000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"It's a tough decision. What do you want?

id love her home but don't want to jeapodise the help she could get

What help can she get if she's at home, would it be enough?"

was not really enough help when home

before

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By *uby0000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"OP, have you have the possibility to build/convert a small unit on your property? Throwing out ideas .. "

I wish I could but not an option

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"had my daughter home all weekend huge step for all of us as shes sectioned

I so dearly want her home but at 28 but with Aspergers syndrome they want her to do supported living

I cant be selfish either but she wants to return home too

what would you do?

As a man who brought his daughter up alone I could not bear not to be with her - whatever the circs. Do appreciate your position but try and find the strength to get through it and give her all the support and love you can - things will work out x

its taken 5 years to get to this point I obviously didn't do a good job looking after her before or she wouldn't be in this situation"

Don't do that to yourself. We do the very best we can as I'm sure you did. Aspergers is an exceptionally difficult thing. You clearly love her and as long as you keep telling her that and that you support her it will work out. Much love.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think it depends what risks she's facing, as well as how her living with you would be - would she get what she needs?

I'm guessing that a halfway measure, giving her some independence as well as security and safety may work. Are her relationship skills and self-care (with some help) good enough? Your support for her may be optimal if she has some independence. But a lot rests on what caused her to be sectioned - if those issues remain, she may still need more support elsewhere.

It's a terrible dilemma to be in. Ultimately her safety is what you want, as well as to love and support her. You also have to look after yourself, so that you're healthy and able to be there for her, however she's living etc.

Thinking of you x

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By *uby0000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"I think it depends what risks she's facing, as well as how her living with you would be - would she get what she needs?

I'm guessing that a halfway measure, giving her some independence as well as security and safety may work. Are her relationship skills and self-care (with some help) good enough? Your support for her may be optimal if she has some independence. But a lot rests on what caused her to be sectioned - if those issues remain, she may still need more support elsewhere.

It's a terrible dilemma to be in. Ultimately her safety is what you want, as well as to love and support her. You also have to look after yourself, so that you're healthy and able to be there for her, however she's living etc.

Thinking of you x"

being honest shes always been really dependant on me

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By *uby0000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

thank you all for the advice I really appreciate it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it depends what risks she's facing, as well as how her living with you would be - would she get what she needs?

I'm guessing that a halfway measure, giving her some independence as well as security and safety may work. Are her relationship skills and self-care (with some help) good enough? Your support for her may be optimal if she has some independence. But a lot rests on what caused her to be sectioned - if those issues remain, she may still need more support elsewhere.

It's a terrible dilemma to be in. Ultimately her safety is what you want, as well as to love and support her. You also have to look after yourself, so that you're healthy and able to be there for her, however she's living etc.

Thinking of you x

being honest shes always been really dependant on me"

followed you with this over time and would you still be able to help her and be there for her if she was in supported living - i would tend to say go with suported if its offered as those places are like golddust - she will have her independance and you surely - thing of the bigger longterm picture - you wont always be here

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By *uby0000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

because I had a heart attack last year they seem to think I wont be able to cope with her

she was diagnosed aged 10 at gt Ormond street and back then aspergers was not known much so advice was few and far between

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials


"It's a tough decision. What do you want?

id love her home but don't want to jeapodise the help she could get

What help can she get if she's at home, would it be enough?

was not really enough help when home

before"

From my work I know that she'll get so much more support given to her in supported living but it's not the same as being at home with your family. Home care & day provisions are offered but often they're just not supportive enough.

How far from home would the SA housing be? Has she been equipped with enough skills to cope? It's a massive step & only you can know what is right for your daughter. And you can always change your mind xxx

I hope you had a lovely weekend x

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Perhaps one step at a time. See how sheltered living works out for her, with a view to her coming home eventually. I hope it all works out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"had my daughter home all weekend huge step for all of us as shes sectioned

I so dearly want her home but at 28 but with Aspergers syndrome they want her to do supported living

I cant be selfish either but she wants to return home too

what would you do?

As a man who brought his daughter up alone I could not bear not to be with her - whatever the circs. Do appreciate your position but try and find the strength to get through it and give her all the support and love you can - things will work out x

its taken 5 years to get to this point I obviously didn't do a good job looking after her before or she wouldn't be in this situation"

If you keep on saying that, I will come over there and spank you! You obviously care as much as any parent could, and there are a tremendous range of difficulties and obstacles and red tape out there to negotiate. This is a decision for you and your daughter to take. Take advice on board by all means but it will only be advice. Your bond is the one constant thing in this situation.

Thoughts and prayers are with you...hope you can take the kind words on here and use them as strength.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldn't even start to think what to do on your shoes. Whatever you feel is best for her hard though that might be for you. Best wishes. Mr W xxxxxx

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