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Newly found freedom.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

After 6 months I have a lot of freedom again after giving my loyalty to the wrong man and thinking I could fix him.

Friends have mentioned I seem happier since I ended things 2 weeks ago but I just seem lost.

Met a couple of guys off Tinder for a drink but I've lost my mojo. I'm just obsessed with work and the gym

6 months away and I appear to have forgotten what to do with my freedom

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

No rush.

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By *ratty_DamselWoman
over a year ago

Greater London

Its only been two weeks.... Give yourself a bit of headspace and chill!

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

Give yourself time, maybe you need more time out? You'll know when you are ready xxx

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

Did he need 'fixing'? Was he broken?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You might have some trauma, if you needed to fix someone then they're problems end up your problems and you can end up almost as fucked up as they are.

I agree with the above, there's no rush. Just go with the flow on how you feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh, the gym and work are good things to be occupied by.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I think maybe that you are just adjusting, change can take a little time to fell like everything is running smoothly and in place. Especially if the break up involved some emotions of any type.

Maybe give yourself a treat and no pressure, your mojo will come back!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks girls, I guess its just nice to reconnect with people I lost contact with.

I'm in no rush to meet, not that I have time before Christmas x

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

It took me 3 years to get used to it. One day at a time xxxx

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston


"Thanks girls, I guess its just nice to reconnect with people I lost contact with.

I'm in no rush to meet, not that I have time before Christmas x"

Mistletoe ready

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Did he need 'fixing'? Was he broken?"

When things were good they were amazing, when his issues came to light it was an emotional roller coaster.

I loved him so kinda hoped he would overcome those issues, but he never admitted to them so I should have seen I was never going to get anywhere.

Should know better at my age x

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By *an_WoodMan
over a year ago

Stafford

No rush at all. You are too sexy

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

the gym sounds good

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I'd go to a couple of socials

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd go to a couple of socials "

I'm thinking that too, and a very lovely lady is holding a BBW night at Eurekas which I might attend on a social basis in January x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously you know the error of your ways now . It really doesn't need to be said , but engaging in relationships with those who need fixing is never going to be ideal is it ?

Look ahead , and armed with the new found knowledge that you know what you don't want , it will be so much better next time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best thing you can do, ring round the girls, get a few bottles of wine flowing & put the world to rights.

Top it off with a last minute taxi ride into town for a good old boogie with your pals & a nice kebab/pizza on the way home.

Next day=much clearer & you'll wonder why you let things bother you.

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis


"Did he need 'fixing'? Was he broken?

When things were good they were amazing, when his issues came to light it was an emotional roller coaster.

I loved him so kinda hoped he would overcome those issues, but he never admitted to them so I should have seen I was never going to get anywhere.

Should know better at my age x"

Your mind is your own,...your heart and your mind are yours. Don't let others decide your fate

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I think you could give some time to do what you want to do rather than anyone else and do stuff because you want to not because of what you think others might think. Time for a bit of selfish self quality time for yourself.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

There's something akin to the grieving process when we leave something behind. Especially if we're intimately involved.

You've done one good thing for yourself op, now ensure that you look after yourself even more. Whether you need rest, the gym, novelty or treats, allow those luxuries and nourishment for you.

As part of a couple we can somehow gain a part blended identity - part just us and another that's a fusion Imo. Reestablishing just our solo self - which is different to who we were before that relationship - can take some time.

Potter along, and just enjoy and accept how things are. And treasure yourself, as you perhaps gave too much away for him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's something akin to the grieving process when we leave something behind. Especially if we're intimately involved.

You've done one good thing for yourself op, now ensure that you look after yourself even more. Whether you need rest, the gym, novelty or treats, allow those luxuries and nourishment for you.

As part of a couple we can somehow gain a part blended identity - part just us and another that's a fusion Imo. Reestablishing just our solo self - which is different to who we were before that relationship - can take some time.

Potter along, and just enjoy and accept how things are. And treasure yourself, as you perhaps gave too much away for him. "

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"There's something akin to the grieving process when we leave something behind. Especially if we're intimately involved.

You've done one good thing for yourself op, now ensure that you look after yourself even more. Whether you need rest, the gym, novelty or treats, allow those luxuries and nourishment for you.

As part of a couple we can somehow gain a part blended identity - part just us and another that's a fusion Imo. Reestablishing just our solo self - which is different to who we were before that relationship - can take some time.

Potter along, and just enjoy and accept how things are. And treasure yourself, as you perhaps gave too much away for him. "

That's good

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

Best of luck. X

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By *uzzybeWoman
over a year ago

Darlington

Wow...im glad I read this. Have gone through the same thing recently and this thread has helped a little to realise a few things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After my marriage ended (15 years) Last November I waited until at least may to even dip my toe back into the world of dating (badly).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

time is a great healer, life will go on. never rush into anything in the future, live for yourself. The right one will appear when you least expect it. its taking me time to get my head around things but still not sure which way I'm heading. I'm happy being the nice guy and enjoying the social and fun side of this lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Should know better at my age x"

Please don't say that! Please don't beat yourself up!

You loved him, you tried to make it work. End of!

As for advice....everything the wise sage Sophie said xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came out of a relationship with someone who took up all my time, this was in august. I'm still a bit lost at times. Is a bit weird going from doing loads all the time and having a busy life to being doing things you enjoyed then going to a relationship with someone taking up all your time so there's nothing left of you. I'm finding things like listening to the music i listened to before i met him and looking into the things i was doing before i met him are helping a lot, but it took a couple of months of thinking and processing the relationship before i started doing this.

Just wanted to let you know, it might help.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I came out of a relationship with someone who took up all my time, this was in august. I'm still a bit lost at times. Is a bit weird going from doing loads all the time and having a busy life to being doing things you enjoyed then going to a relationship with someone taking up all your time so there's nothing left of you. I'm finding things like listening to the music i listened to before i met him and looking into the things i was doing before i met him are helping a lot, but it took a couple of months of thinking and processing the relationship before i started doing this.

Just wanted to let you know, it might help."

I know what you mean, I went shopping the other day and I was able to browse without him huffing because I'd not just got the things on my list and was looking around. It was odd but I enjoyed being able to do that.

I did everything he wanted and left little time to do things I wanted to do as he would just huff about it.

I no longer have access to a car for heavy items such as cat litter though....but I coped before him.

Amazing support guys and girls xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I came out of a relationship with someone who took up all my time, this was in august. I'm still a bit lost at times. Is a bit weird going from doing loads all the time and having a busy life to being doing things you enjoyed then going to a relationship with someone taking up all your time so there's nothing left of you. I'm finding things like listening to the music i listened to before i met him and looking into the things i was doing before i met him are helping a lot, but it took a couple of months of thinking and processing the relationship before i started doing this.

Just wanted to let you know, it might help.

I know what you mean, I went shopping the other day and I was able to browse without him huffing because I'd not just got the things on my list and was looking around. It was odd but I enjoyed being able to do that.

I did everything he wanted and left little time to do things I wanted to do as he would just huff about it.

I no longer have access to a car for heavy items such as cat litter though....but I coped before him.

Amazing support guys and girls xx"

Glad you understood that, looking at it again my words were a bit jumbled up. Hate thinking about him, my mind goes off somewhere else trying to escape lol.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

You'll be okay, just give yourself time.

For future reference though, never lose contact with family or friends when you have a new partner. It's very tempting to retreat into your own little world, but the world doesn't stand still and people move on and you could become isolated if things end.

Good luck.

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