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Feeling lost....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sorry, bit of a depressed flutterby today...

Most days im ok, but this morning i feel so delicate and really miss my mum (passed away few mths ago).

I try and stay strong for my dad and my kids (adult kids), but this morning it's hit me....who is strong for me??

Really sorry, but I just needed to vent my feelings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending you a virtual hug.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awe hunni, this might sound weird but there are a few dozen people here I know for a fact that would give you a hug right now if we could. You seem like a lovely lady and everyone has their down moments, have a good cry, dry your eyes, smile on and think of your mum she wouldn't want you upset! (Well I dont know your mother obviously and she may have got great delight in other people's misery but I'm assuming this isn't true!)

Virtual Hug xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Owwww sorry to hear that sending massive hugs xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Awe hunni, this might sound weird but there are a few dozen people here I know for a fact that would give you a hug right now if we could. You seem like a lovely lady and everyone has their down moments, have a good cry, dry your eyes, smile on and think of your mum she wouldn't want you upset! (Well I dont know your mother obviously and she may have got great delight in other people's misery but I'm assuming this isn't true!)

Virtual Hug xxx"

Thank you ... yes your right mum wouldn't have wanted me sad but whenever I was sad before it was always her that made things better (even at my age I needed mum ) xx

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

You must tell those you love how you feel, and get the hug you need.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried talking to your kids, or your dad, about how you feel?

Sometimes, we can be so focused on being strong for everyone else, we forget to be strong for ourself. Give your family an opportunity to be strong for you, to be your support in return - you may find that they are only too ready to be there for you, as you are for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry, bit of a depressed flutterby today...

Most days im ok, but this morning i feel so delicate and really miss my mum (passed away few mths ago).

I try and stay strong for my dad and my kids (adult kids), but this morning it's hit me....who is strong for me??

Really sorry, but I just needed to vent my feelings

"
so sorry for your loss... But as you have been so strong for everyone else you haven't had time to grieve yourself,,,,, now is the time for you to grieve let it go and grieve. Let everyone else be strong for you... I haven't lost a parent but lost a husband ... It does get better to cope without them . You will always miss her as will your family , but let them be there for you now,... Take care of yourself and huge virtual hugs xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending you big virtual hugs with feeling...!

From someone who has also lost and been alone...

(^_^) (^_^)

xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I tried talking to my dad but he's so wrapped up in his own grief that his reply was....that he'd lost his best friend of 51yrs and she was only my mum...I feel that he was selfish with what he said but I do try and understand from his point of view.

My kids are getting on with thier lives, jobs, etc and don't understand.

Perhaps cos I was caring for mum for a year and was the only one with her when she passed I don't think they see from my point of view xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry, bit of a depressed flutterby today...

Most days im ok, but this morning i feel so delicate and really miss my mum (passed away few mths ago).

I try and stay strong for my dad and my kids (adult kids), but this morning it's hit me....who is strong for me??

Really sorry, but I just needed to vent my feelings

"

Who says that you have to be strong all the time, or even 'the strong one' all the time- go and get a hug from one of them and say- "I Need a hug today- I am missing My mum."

Validate your feelings- they are valid, its allowed you know. There are no rules on grief, everyone deals with it in their own way, in their own time.

I lost my mum 35 years ago and still found myself thinking about her when watching a certain item on Children in Need last week.

Virtual hugs from all your Fab buddies.

You Are strong, and you can combine that with an outlet for your feelings without Anyone thinking any less of you xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You must tell those you love how you feel, and get the hug you need."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I tried talking to my dad but he's so wrapped up in his own grief that his reply was....that he'd lost his best friend of 51yrs and she was only my mum...I feel that he was selfish with what he said but I do try and understand from his point of view.

My kids are getting on with thier lives, jobs, etc and don't understand.

Perhaps cos I was caring for mum for a year and was the only one with her when she passed I don't think they see from my point of view xx"

Even bigger hugs. Just cos your kids may not understand, that can't stop them giving you cuddles and being there for you if you let them know you're feeling down. It's sad that your dad doesn't understand your point of view, but you have a mature approach to the situation. Wishing you all the best x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Awe hunni, this might sound weird but there are a few dozen people here I know for a fact that would give you a hug right now if we could. You seem like a lovely lady and everyone has their down moments, have a good cry, dry your eyes, smile on and think of your mum she wouldn't want you upset! (Well I dont know your mother obviously and she may have got great delight in other people's misery but I'm assuming this isn't true!)

Virtual Hug xxx

Thank you ... yes your right mum wouldn't have wanted me sad but whenever I was sad before it was always her that made things better (even at my age I needed mum ) xx

"

Everybody needs their mum I don't know what I'd do without mine we've been through so much together! But as missgeeky said have a good cry think of all the memories you have and know that she will live on in you and your kids!

Keep your chin up we might all be a bunch of sex crazed nut jobs but we'll be a shoulder you can cry on any time x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can do it huni its hard being the strong one. I may be 29 but trust me I've been the strong one all my life. I only had someone strong for me for a few short years a long long time ago xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've been strong, caring for your mum & being there for her when she needed you.

So, stop being strong all time & allow yourself time to reflect, be sad & cry ~ grief has no time limit.....

Have you spoken to CRUSE, works for a lot of people especially if you feel you cannot talk to others around you.

x

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

My nan has been gone 2.5 years - she was the glue that held us all together. My mum & her sisters still miss her a lot.

Sometimes you need to sod everyone else, put on some sad or her favourite songs or films & have a damn good cry.

Again, I recommend Cruse - they are brilliant x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My nan has been gone 2.5 years - she was the glue that held us all together. My mum & her sisters still miss her a lot.

Sometimes you need to sod everyone else, put on some sad or her favourite songs or films & have a damn good cry.

Again, I recommend Cruse - they are brilliant x"

My tiger tattoo is my tribute to my nan as it came from a framed picture she had in her flat that I rescued from the skip it's hung proudly in every home I've lived in since!

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

Most people at some point feel low and lost in their own self, the important part is that you vent the feelings. The lost of someone close is always a hard thing to cope with, some just seem to hide it better than others. Take peace in the fact you cared and loved your mother very much.

Much love and hugs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and brace yourself for Christmas. I'm finding it difficult as its now in full swing, every shop & every other advert on TV & radio.

Might be an idea to have a think now how you would like to spend the day x

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"Sorry, bit of a depressed flutterby today...

Most days im ok, but this morning i feel so delicate and really miss my mum (passed away few mths ago).

I try and stay strong for my dad and my kids (adult kids), but this morning it's hit me....who is strong for me??

Really sorry, but I just needed to vent my feelings

"

We wouldn't be human if these things didn't get a to us one in a while... try and remember the life and not the death xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry, bit of a depressed flutterby today...

Most days im ok, but this morning i feel so delicate and really miss my mum (passed away few mths ago).

I try and stay strong for my dad and my kids (adult kids), but this morning it's hit me....who is strong for me??

Really sorry, but I just needed to vent my feelings

"

Virtual hug on the way.

Don't let your sadness make you feel less than human.

Many people have those days, they're normal and natural.

Nothing to put yourself down over.

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By * TRUE GENTMan
over a year ago

west bromwich

Well I know this may sound so out of place I lost my dearest so much loved labrador this year I sat with her at Christmas and said what will I go with out you .well it,s hard the time is getting close to Christmas and she,s not the side of me Christmas morning .but never will be forgotten just think of all the time you had together

Glenn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending a hug xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lost my mam a year and a half ago. She was my best friend too. Was with her everyday through her illness and with her as she took her final breaths. It's hard, very hard. You will get days where your mind is occupied and busy with day to day things. But you'll also have your down times. Try to remember, those feelings will pass, they'll come back again but will again pass. It's normal. Sending hugs xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh and brace yourself for Christmas. I'm finding it difficult as its now in full swing, every shop & every other advert on TV & radio.

Might be an idea to have a think now how you would like to spend the day x"

I'm dreading Christmas day as dad says he's not celebrating it xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big hugs.xx

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong


"Sorry, bit of a depressed flutterby today...

Most days im ok, but this morning i feel so delicate and really miss my mum (passed away few mths ago).

I try and stay strong for my dad and my kids (adult kids), but this morning it's hit me....who is strong for me??

Really sorry, but I just needed to vent my feelings

"

Hey you are allowed to wobble, sending you hugs and kisses and a shoulder to lean on xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I tried talking to my dad but he's so wrapped up in his own grief that his reply was....that he'd lost his best friend of 51yrs and she was only my mum...I feel that he was selfish with what he said but I do try and understand from his point of view.

My kids are getting on with thier lives, jobs, etc and don't understand.

Perhaps cos I was caring for mum for a year and was the only one with her when she passed I don't think they see from my point of view xx"

To be honest I think that is very very unfair of your dad. You are his daughter and he should still be there for you through your grief just as you was there for your mum before she passed away. It should be a shared grief not a competition of who has got the worse deal.

I hope that you are able to turn things around and get the support that you need to help you with your grief x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awe I hope you're week gets better x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think the short, dark days and bad weather really help peoples moods.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh and brace yourself for Christmas. I'm finding it difficult as its now in full swing, every shop & every other advert on TV & radio.

Might be an idea to have a think now how you would like to spend the day x

I'm dreading Christmas day as dad says he's not celebrating it xx"

It's understandable that he doesn't want to. What would you like to do, are you able to plan something with / without your dad?

Last year I was numb & can't really remember much of the festive season. This year it's different & I'm very much aware, which is why I've organised to do something totally different from tradition.

xx

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