FabSwingers.com forum: Problem...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Going on a 'nilla date tonight and proper horny! (problem 1) after talking about it all day (I blame Juniper

)

Anyway, rambling- I will get to the point eventually I promise!

Its been a while and I am concerned that I have forgotten how to behave appropriately? (problem 2)

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Don't mention sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is sooo exciting!!! I hope you have a wonderful time!

I can't give tips on how to act normally, though. I'm not sure I was ever normal....

-Courtney

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Have a wank before you go

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have a wank before you go

Its just Not the same- it would probably make me even hornier!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That is sooo exciting!!! I hope you have a wonderful time!

I can't give tips on how to act normally, though. I'm not sure I was ever normal....

-Courtney"

Thanks Courtney xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't mention sex. "

Could be a quiet date then- I forgot how to talk to men!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

Thanks Lovely- great advice xx

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Don't do what I did last night and have a foot in mouth moment....bangs head on table and mutters I give up with this dating malarkey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just go with the flow, I'm sure he'd enjoy it!

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

"Have a wank before you go

Its just Not the same- it would probably make me even hornier!!"

Have a shag before you go

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Do not slap a box of 12 non latex on the table and say "I want that emptied by midnight big boy". Wear clothes over your lingerie. Do not say "I never swallow on a first date"

What could POSSIBLY go wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just think about work , usually works for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Warning! Do not behave appropriately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't talk about sex, don't try and think about sex, no matter how much you may/maynot want to jump his bones.

I find the moment you even mention sex or anything afflilated with sexy time, it's a downward spiral, no matter how much you want a vanilla date.

Good luck with that though!! And have fun xx

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Don't mention sex. "

Or, just get it over and done with in the first 5 mins, so it doesn't hang over the whole evening

Are we allowed to give you words to work into the conversation?

(Mine is "That's Fab", obvs

)

Mr ddc

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

Don't take him home!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont think about my willy and you will be fine

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't do what I did last night and have a foot in mouth moment....bangs head on table and mutters I give up with this dating malarkey

Oh no- what happened sweetie? xx

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

do you want me to suck him off when he goes to the loo....

I am selfless like that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do not slap a box of 12 non latex on the table and say "I want that emptied by midnight big boy". Wear clothes over your lingerie. Do not say "I never swallow on a first date"

What could POSSIBLY go wrong

Psml

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just think about work , usually works for me

So Thats how you last, is it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe we should message during the evening, men send her cock pics?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't do what I did last night and have a foot in mouth moment....bangs head on table and mutters I give up with this dating malarkey

Tell us!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

[Removed by poster at 14/11/15 16:48:24]

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

Don't take him home!!

Errrrrr.... Someone could Of told me this stuff before I went out last night..

Did you put all your cards on the table with the booze?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dont think about my willy and you will be fine

Well stop waving it about then!

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

And does "try to imagine them naked" only work for job inter_iews?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"do you want me to suck him off when he goes to the loo....

I am selfless like that"

View- you are just too kind

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"do you want me to suck him off when he goes to the loo....

I am selfless like that

View- you are just too kind

thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe we should message during the evening, men send her cock pics?

Sabotage!!

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"Maybe we should message during the evening, men send her cock pics?

I think we should send her naughty messages

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

Don't take him home!!

Erm...

someone could have told me this yesterday before I went out on my vanilla date...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be yourself, it's what attracted him to you!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And does "try to imagine them naked" only work for job inter_iews?

Haha!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

tell him you have a split personality and Testabossa will shag him

Testarossa can sit quite demure.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think one of the differences of vanilla dating is you don't have to swallow

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

Don't take him home!!

Erm...

someone could have told me this yesterday before I went out on my vanilla date...

Dish- how did it go?????

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"Going on a 'nilla date tonight and proper horny! (problem 1) after talking about it all day (I blame Juniper

)

Anyway, rambling- I will get to the point eventually I promise!

Its been a while and I am concerned that I have forgotten how to behave appropriately? (problem 2)

Ive ended up inviting the guy I was with last night to eurekas!! He sounded pretty interested too! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't help ya!

If you try not to talk sex you look prudish...if you do talk sex you might frighten the shit out of him!

Just try to keep ya hands to yourself, keep your clothes on...and don't take him home! Lol

Other than that...good luck and have fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

Don't take him home!!

Erm...

someone could have told me this yesterday before I went out on my vanilla date...

Did you shag him?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"tell him you have a split personality and Testabossa will shag him

Testarossa can sit quite demure....."

Hahaha demurely hahaha!!!

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

Don't go dressed as you are in your avatar! That look only works in swingers clubs

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"And does "try to imagine them naked" only work for job inter_iews?

Haha!"

You will now though

Or me saying it...

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

Don't take him home!!

Erm...

someone could have told me this yesterday before I went out on my vanilla date...

Dish- how did it go?????"

Aside from me feeling like shite all day it went ok I think! He was mega busy at work this morning when I went in so didnt get much chance to chat. But he seemed happy enough when I booted him out of bed to shower at 5.30 this morning haha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a wank before you go

Its just Not the same- it would probably make me even hornier!!"

hha same - more i have more i want - people see me as just very open minded but often have to bite my tongue to stop saying stuff i prbably shouldnt

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"Going on a 'nilla date tonight and proper horny! (problem 1) after talking about it all day (I blame Juniper

)

Anyway, rambling- I will get to the point eventually I promise!

Its been a while and I am concerned that I have forgotten how to behave appropriately? (problem 2)

That's right, blame me!!!! All I'm saying is fluffy lion!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just think about work , usually works for me

So Thats how you last, is it?

That would be telling

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

Don't take him home!!

Erm...

someone could have told me this yesterday before I went out on my vanilla date...

Did you shag him?!"

I would never do such a thing on a first date

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

if he gets frisky, take a notepad out and ask him to list his family and friends for the invite to the engagement party.........

he won't be thinking about shagging you then......

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

ps: have a nice time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just thought of other useless advice....leave the bumper pack of condoms and 9" strap on out of your handbag! I'm fairly sure that will give the wrong impression.

Oh and wear clothes not made of latex or pvc! Hehe

Have fun xxx

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

compliment him on the colour of his shirt and mention you would like that very shade for the bridesmaid's dresses.........

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

Don't take him home!!

Erm...

someone could have told me this yesterday before I went out on my vanilla date...

Dish- how did it go?????

So you fucked then?

Is it ok now on a first date!

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"ps: have a nice time

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

Don't take him home!!

Erm...

someone could have told me this yesterday before I went out on my vanilla date...

Dish- how did it go?????

So you fucked then?

Is it ok now on a first date!

Well I figured if for some reason there wasn't a second date I might as well enjoy the first one! Ha!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Going on a 'nilla date tonight and proper horny! (problem 1) after talking about it all day (I blame Juniper

)

Anyway, rambling- I will get to the point eventually I promise!

Its been a while and I am concerned that I have forgotten how to behave appropriately? (problem 2)

That's right, blame me!!!! All I'm saying is fluffy lion!!!!"

I see your fluffy lion and I raise you that taboo subject that shall never be mentioned!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"ps: have a nice time

Thanks Lovely xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just thought of other useless advice....leave the bumper pack of condoms and 9" strap on out of your handbag! I'm fairly sure that will give the wrong impression.

Oh and wear clothes not made of latex or pvc! Hehe

Have fun xxx"

Thanks Jen xx

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Don't do what I did last night and have a foot in mouth moment....bangs head on table and mutters I give up with this dating malarkey

Tell us!"

No!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Going on a 'nilla date tonight and proper horny! (problem 1) after talking about it all day (I blame Juniper

)

Anyway, rambling- I will get to the point eventually I promise!

Its been a while and I am concerned that I have forgotten how to behave appropriately? (problem 2)

Good luck and enjoy. Also, not behaving might work in your favour

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

Don't take him home!!

Erm...

someone could have told me this yesterday before I went out on my vanilla date...

Dish- how did it go?????

So you fucked then?

Is it ok now on a first date!

Well I figured if for some reason there wasn't a second date I might as well enjoy the first one! Ha! "

Miss HB- I like your style!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

Don't take him home!!

Erm...

someone could have told me this yesterday before I went out on my vanilla date...

Dish- how did it go?????

So you fucked then?

Is it ok now on a first date!

Well I figured if for some reason there wasn't a second date I might as well enjoy the first one! Ha! "

Good advice lol

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

say you had a great time last night wolf bagging....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't do what I did last night and have a foot in mouth moment....bangs head on table and mutters I give up with this dating malarkey

Tell us!

No!

Well you can't give up- you are the Fab Dating Queen!

(Its ok View- you are still the Fab Queen- just not of dating!)

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Don't do what I did last night and have a foot in mouth moment....bangs head on table and mutters I give up with this dating malarkey

Tell us!

No!

Well you can't give up- you are the Fab Dating Queen!

(Its ok View- you are still the Fab Queen- just not of dating!)"

you say the sweetest things

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"say you had a great time last night wolf bagging...."

Dare I google???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dont think about my willy and you will be fine

Well stop waving it about then!"

Cant help it I had a very sexy message this morning

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"say you had a great time last night wolf bagging....

Dare I google???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dont think about my willy and you will be fine

Well stop waving it about then!

Cant help it I had a very sexy message this morning

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

Don't take him home!!

Erm...

someone could have told me this yesterday before I went out on my vanilla date...

Dish- how did it go?????

So you fucked then?

Is it ok now on a first date!

Well I figured if for some reason there wasn't a second date I might as well enjoy the first one! Ha!

Miss HB- I like your style!

Ha! Well im hoping there will be as he had a rather lovely cock which I feel needs further attention. And if I manage to get him to a club its win/win!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/11/15 17:15:15]

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By *argaret JamesTV/TS
over a year ago

Bromsgrove

"Going on a 'nilla date tonight and proper horny! (problem 1) after talking about it all day (I blame Juniper

)

Anyway, rambling- I will get to the point eventually I promise!

Its been a while and I am concerned that I have forgotten how to behave appropriately? (problem 2)

Remember to ask how much he charges before you sit down, ohhhh sorry its been a long time since I went out in a proper date.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For goodness sake!

1: Don't shove your tits in his face when you say hello.

2: Don't drink more than a whole bottle of wine to yourself.

3: Don't bang on about previous relationships.

4: Smile a lot and laugh at the APPROPRIATE times,not every time he opens his mouth.

5: Don't look at his crotch,no matter how big the bulge is.

6: Don't stick your tongue down his throat if he kisses you goodbye.

If you need any more helpful advice pop to the toilet and message me.

Bon chance!

Don't take him home!!

Erm...

someone could have told me this yesterday before I went out on my vanilla date...

Dish- how did it go?????

So you fucked then?

Is it ok now on a first date!

Well I figured if for some reason there wasn't a second date I might as well enjoy the first one! Ha!

Miss HB- I like your style!

Ha! Well im hoping there will be as he had a rather lovely cock which I feel needs further attention. And if I manage to get him to a club its win/win!

I suppose because if the sex wasn't good you haven't wasted time!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"say you had a great time last night wolf bagging...."

Omg . That's a new one on me!!!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Do you have any of the Halloween Skeletons handy.... pop it in a wheelchair and say 'great aunt Lily' goes everywhere with you.....

That's why I am single

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"say you had a great time last night wolf bagging....

Omg . That's a new one on me!!!

Is this a bit like that monkey facial thing to do with cum and pube trimmings??

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"say you had a great time last night wolf bagging....

Dare I google???

You should know better than to Google!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you have any of the Halloween Skeletons handy.... pop it in a wheelchair and say 'great aunt Lily' goes everywhere with you.....

That's why I am single

Deliberately!

I have enough skeletons without any more!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"say you had a great time last night wolf bagging....

Omg . That's a new one on me!!!

Is this a bit like that monkey facial thing to do with cum and pube trimmings??"

Worse!!! And now ive got the giggles over the monkey facial..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"say you had a great time last night wolf bagging....

Dare I google???

You should know better than to Google!!!"

Ok- you do it for me then please?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

take a picture of JLS and say 'wow, what a night that was'........

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"say you had a great time last night wolf bagging....

Dare I google???

You should know better than to Google!!!

Ok- you do it for me then please?

I already did!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"take a picture of JLS and say 'wow, what a night that was'........"

Oh thats just too far. You are cut off!

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"say you had a great time last night wolf bagging....

Dare I google???

You should know better than to Google!!!

Ok- you do it for me then please?

That's revolting!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"say you had a great time last night wolf bagging....

Dare I google???

You should know better than to Google!!!

Ok- you do it for me then please?

I already did!!!

Well don't leave me wanting???

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I am off out for food...... enjoy yourself

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"say you had a great time last night wolf bagging....

Dare I google???

You should know better than to Google!!!

Ok- you do it for me then please?

I already did!!!

Well don't leave me wanting???"

Seriously... stay wanting!

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE

Seems a bit extreme this wolf bagging melarkey.

Same effect with a bit of sneezing powder.

Although you don't get a warm bacon butty after i suppose

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am off out for food...... enjoy yourself

Mwah- don't forget the skeleton xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Seems a bit extreme this wolf bagging melarkey.

Same effect with a bit of sneezing powder.

Although you don't get a warm bacon butty after i suppose

This sounds like the voice of experience?

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