FabSwingers.com forum: All about the chase...

By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

This is something that's come up a couple of times over the last few days and since Jack just mentioned it in another thread, I thought I'd chuck it out there for discussion!

Quite often I wonder if it is all about the chase. Do men just want to have that thrill till they get a woman to agree to meet them and then when reality kicks in they run a mile? This has happened to me a few times, you go through all the box ticking, get through some chat and then when I decide actually, I will meet him and try and arrange a time/date they suddenly disappear. What is that all about?

Equally with women, and I'm sure I'm as guilty as the next person but the chase is appealing to me too. I like banter and cheek and when I find someone I can bounce off then it makes them all the more attractive. I want to give as good as I get though and it's not about making it easy, it's just about making it as much fun as possible. However, I tend to follow through with a meet when that happens... I don't bottle it because the chase is over... I just figure it's then a different sort of chase.

Any thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tag?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I think the 'thrill of the chase' is one of the moast alluring parts, whether it's 'swinger' chase or 'real life'.

The problem with people disappearing when they get to the threshold of a meet is, at a guess, some people having to back up the talk with actually doing something, which can be daunting for many different reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reminds me of having a wank and not cumming - pointless!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That Brad Pitt look alike might just be a Johnny Vegas looky likey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I genuinely believe many people lower their standards on here, although maybe not intentionally, it’s purely a numbers game at times, and the reality often hits home once they think about it and by then it's probably gone too far. Can half understand a single guy backing out when meeting a couple simply because it takes a lot of balls to do it, pardon the pun, but a one on one takes far less bottle, although they could just be the loner type who hides indoors and craves any sort of attention and panic when they get any

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I think the 'thrill of the chase' is one of the moast alluring parts, whether it's 'swinger' chase or 'real life'.

"
Totally agree with Sensualfire here, the chase is fantastic, gets the juices flowing etc...but after an initial meet, can it continue? Or in real life ? Yes i believe it can xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think it is more likely the case that he'd jerked off after arranging the meet, had a second look and couldn't be bothered as his tea was nearly ready. ..........lolol polo said that on other post i think she could be right in her way of thinking about some of the men here. GOD WE LIVE AND LEARN X I am reading posts here ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is true that you don't act as rationally when you've got the horn! so I guess they could initiate a chase and then decide after cumming that they don't want it after all.

Thats why all major life decisions should be made after a good ol' wank!

The thrill of the chase is different in day to day lives and relationships though - as someone who rarely has feelings for anyone (heartless git!) I've recently had someone declare an interest (over a period of time) I've finally succumb to it and now they haven't got a word to say to me! pointless process.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it is the overall package, the chase, the nerves of a fisrt meet, then the joy of someone wanting a retun meeting.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

canna be arsed with the ego stroking fecking chase that goes on in here.

its a load of pish......

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By *ex.IncCouple
over a year ago

Castleford

Well said that man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some peeps loose their bottles when it is crunch time.

Alll talk and no action applies to gents as well as ladies IMHO!

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

I nearly started a thread on this same topic however will continue here as its already started (thank you!).

I completely agree with a bit of banter, flirting in the early stages of communication (anyone that wants to just meet a stranger they haven't spoken to, that's up to them.. different category).

What I don't get is when you feel someone's stringing you along endlessly (6 years comes to mind) all the while telling you how they want to meet and all the things they want you both to do.

And no, this is not a "single guy moaning as not meeting", as a few other posters have said, couples go through this, as well as single girls who notice some guys eventually get cold feet when meeting up becomes a realistic event.

So where do people draw the line between "flirtatious banter" and "stringing along"? Can a time frame be of any use?

Another poster on another thread inferred to having too much real life stuff going on, and not here to waste time stroking another person's ego (can't remember if it was a male, female or couple who posted it), but I paraphrased.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I miss Dirtygirl, she was a great forumite

good luck to her and hope life is happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to agree most of us like the chase... but I also like the finish line a.k.a the actual meet. Nothing worse than someone stringing the conversation out for weeks in the lead up to it.

This happens all too often, and it is something I am guilty of too on occasion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do enjoy 'The chase'

I also enjoy roping and stunning them too

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

I agree with the place of "the chase" in a vanilla sense, but I also feel its more suited to a vanilla environment: if I'm after "one woman" to have an hold and seek no other and she will be my all until I depart this planet, then yes, I chase the one I feel is that one woman ( am an old romantic like that).

But in context of swinging where the average person can meet 2 different people a week? I don't feel it applies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See I would argue that a lot of ladies here enjoy the chase aspect; that it makes them feel wanted and desired by someone and not just a 'piece of meet' (spelling intentional!)

Even if the desire and want is a lustful, sexual one; it's a powerful mental aphrodisiac.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"See I would argue that a lot of ladies here enjoy the chase aspect; that it makes them feel wanted and desired by someone and not just a 'piece of meet' (spelling intentional!)

Even if the desire and want is a lustful, sexual one; it's a powerful mental aphrodisiac."

But how long (random average) would chasing become a bit of a joke? 1 year? year and a half? 3 years?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"See I would argue that a lot of ladies here enjoy the chase aspect; that it makes them feel wanted and desired by someone and not just a 'piece of meet' (spelling intentional!)

Even if the desire and want is a lustful, sexual one; it's a powerful mental aphrodisiac.

But how long (random average) would chasing become a bit of a joke? 1 year? year and a half? 3 years?

Till someone gets bored with it and realises it's going nowhere.

Sometimes though, chasing can be fun itself without the need to ever take it further, especially when parties know that is the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had this a few times once it gets to a point I feel it's not going to happen. I just say the ball is in your court.

You can't put a time limit on these things depends how often you speak and for how long. Sometimes you have to factor distance in as well.

However if they can't meet but have verfications popping up you have to wonder..............

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"I have had this a few times once it gets to a point I feel it's not going to happen. I just say the ball is in your court.

You can't put a time limit on these things depends how often you speak and for how long. Sometimes you have to factor distance in as well.

However if they can't meet but have verfications popping up you have to wonder.............."

I have a rule of thumb for the m25 area: 6 months assuming we speak every week

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"See I would argue that a lot of ladies here enjoy the chase aspect; that it makes them feel wanted and desired by someone and not just a 'piece of meet' (spelling intentional!)

For sure, but people often say with some derision 'Oh they want to feel desired', well, duh, I actually have to BE desired, as well as to desire myself, to make me meet someone!!

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"For sure, but people often say with some derision 'Oh they want to feel desired', well, duh, I actually have to BE desired, as well as to desire myself, to make me meet someone!!"

Nothing wrong with wanting to be desired, ofcourse no one expects to be treated like a piece of meet (unless its what they want), but surely that doesn't take years to be established.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

5 months.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thrill of the chase can be almost as exciting as climbing the final hurdle

And for some that's all it's about

And then there are others who just want to lead you on and on and on

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By *wiftieeMan
over a year ago

near Glasgow

Nah, don't fancy the chase bit at all, I just end up knackered! Much prefer some wee wuman who cannae run at all.

Then I've some energy left for a wee bit o' the ol' 'humpy dumpy'!!

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"Nah, don't fancy the chase bit at all, I just end up knackered! Much prefer some wee wuman who cannae run at all.

Then I've some energy left for a wee bit o' the ol' 'humpy dumpy'!!

Exactly,.. am not here to be a salmon: they spend their lives swimming up stream, get to the top and die due to being knackered.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Nothing wrong with wanting to be desired, ofcourse no one expects to be treated like a piece of meet (unless its what they want), but surely that doesn't take years to be established."

No, indeed not - usually a week or so for me to get a feel for who someone is and if I want to meet them or not, or for them to shoot themselves in the foot if they are not what they claim to be!

Sometimes the chase can get too intensive - it's heady and very enjoyable, but if it is built on, shall we say less than the truth, it can be a real comedown when you meet!

Some guys give up too easily though - diaries sometimes take a week or two to become clear, but if people wander off in that time I can't always pick it up where we left off. I am far more inclined to meet the guy who HAS been talking to me all week.

I only have one 'chat' that has ever gone on continually for months, over a year actually, with a guy from POF. We know we are going to meet, and I have a feeling it might be pretty intense when we do, but our diaries and egos repeatedly frustrate each other despite an earnest desire to meet on both parts, haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have had this a few times once it gets to a point I feel it's not going to happen. I just say the ball is in your court.

You can't put a time limit on these things depends how often you speak and for how long. Sometimes you have to factor distance in as well.

However if they can't meet but have verfications popping up you have to wonder..............

I have a rule of thumb for the m25 area: 6 months assuming we speak every week

Is that 3 months within the North/South circular

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"No, indeed not - usually a week or so for me to get a feel for who someone is and if I want to meet them or not, or for them to shoot themselves in the foot if they are not what they claim to be!"

A week? Geez, last time I suggested a meet within a month I was called pushy!

"Is that 3 months within the North/South circular

Depends which "hemisphere" they're in, but the closer we are and the more its proven they do meet - then it just becomes clearer am the proverbial "if all else fails, break glass", in the mean time...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't chase I don't play mind games.

I can sense pretty fucking early if that's the path I'm being led down.

I'm all for chatting...banter etc..etc...

But I'm not going to engage in endless chat for weeks/months if I know full well it ain't going to go anywhere.

I can normally tell just through messaging if I'm going to click or clash with someone.

That being said, I know full well I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea either.

But chasing...mind games...nope!

Unless it's filthy dirty foul mouthed dirty talk mind games then that's a whole different matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, indeed not - usually a week or so for me to get a feel for who someone is and if I want to meet them or not, or for them to shoot themselves in the foot if they are not what they claim to be!

A week? Geez, last time I suggested a meet within a month I was called pushy!

Is that 3 months within the North/South circular

Not had a meet with anyone who lives within 30 miles of here. It's bizzarre

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like be chased. I like a little conversation and meet as soon as possible before I go off the boil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not had a meet with anyone who lives within 30 miles of here. It's bizzarre

I have TWICE. The entire time I've been on here (a year)

Most have been outside of that, though I did have one last week thats about 45 miles away.

I've chatted to loads, but a LOT don't meet local, especially couples.

It's not really that big a deal for me, as I have family dotted about literally everywhere in the UK.

My nan & Grandad live in Edinburgh and I've had 2 meets up there...so go figure that one.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I don't like be chased. I like a little conversation and meet as soon as possible before I go off the boil "
I know what you mean, but some guys can be very good at this pre coital banter and keep you interested.

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

. .heeeeey!

im gonna come for you im a predator!!

. . . .PPRREEDDAATTOORR!!! . . .

gonna make it right

. .im gonna edit ya!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like be chased. I like a little conversation and meet as soon as possible before I go off the boil I know what you mean, but some guys can be very good at this pre coital banter and keep you interested.

They have to be exceptional to keep me excited. I get bored very easily

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is this pre-coital banter you speak of? I understand the banter but for me it is more coitus numquam

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

What is this pre-coital banter you speak of? I understand the banter but for me it is more coitus numquam

"
If you don't know, I couldn't possibly divulge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is this pre-coital banter you speak of? I understand the banter but for me it is more coitus numquam

If you don't know, I couldn't possibly divulge.

Divulging that sounds naughty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't chase I don't play mind games.

I can sense pretty fucking early if that's the path I'm being led down.

I'm all for chatting...banter etc..etc...

But I'm not going to engage in endless chat for weeks/months if I know full well it ain't going to go anywhere.

I can normally tell just through messaging if I'm going to click or clash with someone.

That being said, I know full well I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea either.

But chasing...mind games...nope!

Unless it's filthy dirty foul mouthed dirty talk mind games then that's a whole different matter.

"
lol you saved me loadsa typing

couldn't have said it any better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not had a meet with anyone who lives within 30 miles of here. It's bizzarre

I have TWICE. The entire time I've been on here (a year)

Most have been outside of that, though I did have one last week thats about 45 miles away.

I've chatted to loads, but a LOT don't meet local, especially couples.

It's not really that big a deal for me, as I have family dotted about literally everywhere in the UK.

My nan & Grandad live in Edinburgh and I've had 2 meets up there...so go figure that one.

I have had a meet in Scotland as well my grandparents live in Essex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have any grand parents. Must be where I'm going wrong.

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By *ratty_DamselWoman
over a year ago

London.

"This is something that's come up a couple of times over the last few days and since Jack just mentioned it in another thread, I thought I'd chuck it out there for discussion!

Quite often I wondered if it is all about the chase. Do men just want to have that thrill till they get a woman to agree to meet them and then when reality kicks in they run a mile? This has happened to me a few times, you go through all the box ticking, get through some chat and then when I decide actually, I will meet him and try and arrange a time/date they suddenly disappear. What is that all about?

Any thoughts?

I adore the chase, the banter, the mental teasing as it definitely leads to explosive fun & also to see if the person you potentially are planning on playing with are what you actually want to. So many times I have been let down by 'dom' guys who are obviously not as dom as they thought or cannot take the banter.

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By *ratty_DamselWoman
over a year ago

London.

So are definitely not worth playing with as you quickly find out who the 'chaff' is! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There has to be a bit of a 'chase' for me because I can't usually meet the same week. If they want something quicker then I'm not worth waiting for.

I like banter and anticipation. Makes it better in the end.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"There has to be a bit of a 'chase' for me because I can't usually meet the same week. If they want something quicker then I'm not worth waiting for.

I like banter and anticipation. Makes it better in the end.

I'm all for "banter and flirting" and definitely not saying the same week... but the same year would be nice,..not 2 or 3 years later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There has to be a bit of a 'chase' for me because I can't usually meet the same week. If they want something quicker then I'm not worth waiting for.

I like banter and anticipation. Makes it better in the end.

I'm all for "banter and flirting" and definitely not saying the same week... but the same year would be nice,..not 2 or 3 years later."

If something wasn't arranged after a couple of months I'd give up. In reality I get bored after a couple of weeks if no plans have been made.

Usually it just means people don't have the guts to say it will never happen.

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