FabSwingers.com forum: One for the parents...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So kids and the internet...

There's no way to stop them going on it so I have Norton Family installed on all devices. Parental locked up to the limits.

Still when I checked my 9 year old girls browser history I see she has managed to look up 'reverse cowgirl' amongst others. I've had the chat, she's thoroughly embarrassed BUT my question is...

Any other apps/software I can use to strengthen the locks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Following this out of interest. Between us we have three children who are very inquisitive.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Arguably, the genie is out of the bottle already.

Internet devices should be in public spaces within the house only and a talk about internet safety should rank alongside then one you have with yr kids about sex & drugs.

Internet filters are rubbish - just Google/YouTube how to bypass whatever system you have in place.

It really is child's play.

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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Switch your wifi off and only let them use it when your around that's what I do. I feel it's the only way to keep them from googling everything.

I used to look up rude words in the dictionary, how things have changed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My boys (eldest) have looked up all kinds of filth the past couple of months despite filters, it's a hard one as their are many loopholes and as kids get older they learn more hoe to get round things.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mmm. The bottle is well and truly open.

I'm just grateful for my snooping tendencies

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Switch your wifi off and only let them use it when your around that's what I do. I feel it's the only way to keep them from googling everything.

I used to look up rude words in the dictionary, how things have changed

Great idea. Wi-fi passwords are a very powerful bargaining chip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Switch your wifi off and only let them use it when your around that's what I do. I feel it's the only way to keep them from googling everything.

I used to look up rude words in the dictionary, how things have changed

I recall doing the same , looking up rude words in the dictionary and feeling guilty after doing so .

It's a nightmare now - videos depicting it everywhere on the net .

We only allow our 8 year old to watch YouTube for a limited time each day and have all settings in place . Even then some of the adverts are a bit suspect .

But , it's the modern world - it's everywhere so we do our best to explain to him that what he sees isn't always the way it is .

Kids today are subjected to so much more than I was all those years ago !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also with kids they tend to learn about this stuff (sex) from their mates with older siblings, or their own older siblings. So you might need to have a word with them to ask them to be careful what they talk about round younger kids.

My son used to search porn on youtube when he was 13, there isn't any but he tried there first.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Kids today are subjected to so much more than I was all those years ago !"

It was the underwear pages of the Littlewoods catalogue for me

It's the dwindling loss of innocence that's upset me most. She still says she believes in santa but she's a more curious minx than I suspected. Still forewarned is forearmed.

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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Switch your wifi off and only let them use it when your around that's what I do. I feel it's the only way to keep them from googling everything.

I used to look up rude words in the dictionary, how things have changed

Great idea. Wi-fi passwords are a very powerful bargaining chip"

I hide the wifi box thingie when they misbehave so they can't sneak it on. Another punishment is I take the cables from their Xbox/laptop. Nobody messes with me

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"Also with kids they tend to learn about this stuff (sex) from their mates with older siblings, or their own older siblings. So you might need to have a word with them to ask them to be careful what they talk about round younger kids.

My son used to search porn on youtube when he was 13, there isn't any but he tried there first.

I had serious issues with my shy & timid eldest last year as we found out (just in time!!) that he was being groomed. It was horrific. Laptop on dining table now & history checked daily. They cover Internet safety at school & his did a big refresher but they take no notice

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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

My son used to search porn on youtube when he was 13, there isn't any but he tried there first.

That's shocking! Thank god you found out in time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Gosh Juniper. So pleased it came out before anything serious. Scary shit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As soon as my sons (8 & 9) asked about how babies are made, we sat down and had 'the talk.'

Everything. How it's done and why people do it even when they don't want to make babies. How daddy and I have done it more than twice and still do!

My mother is a nurse and did the same for me and my sister at eight and nine. It was great. Afterwards nothing came as a shock and nothing seemed dirty and scary.

Far better than them asking rough kids at school about it and being told all sorts of silly nonsense.

An inquisitive child is a bright child. We all lose our innocence. It's the way it's lost that's important. A parent answering questions honestly is so much better than seeing things accidentally on the net or in films, and getting the wrong idea about sex.

Sorry to bang on. I just really respect my children as people and want them to be well-informed about life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I let my grandchildren know that I check the history every day. I don't know if they have discovered private browsing yet. You can block certain sites and have safe search controls on your browsers so over 18 material doesn't come up. Put everything possible in place on their accounts and don't give them the password to your account.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"Gosh Juniper. So pleased it came out before anything serious. Scary shit!

Well unfortunately intimate photos were sent

CEOP were brilliant though x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to bang on. I just really respect my children as people and want them to be well-informed about life."

No apologies necessary. I wish I had had the talk sooner. I already preach internet safety - don't talk to strangers, don't answer questions, speak out if you're not comfortable. She doesn't xbox live or speak to people (yet...).

If anything it gave me the opportunity to make hot chocolate and sit down to have the big chat. She knew a lot more than I did at 9 that's for sure.

Now how much money do I need to spend to stop the searches bringing anything up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sky shield seems to work well particularly for any sexual content. For example to get on this site I had to change the settings. Then I will change them back afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I learnt it all from Miss Mary of Sweden (Corsets in the Littlewoods catalogue!) Happy days!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A futile exercise if they are curious they will find a way.

Better to raise them in a grounded way and equip them with common sense .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have all the filters on etc and also a turn off time on devices. You can only do so much and if they want to find stuff they will. The key is to explain it isn't reality and treat them as grown ups, because they hear all this stuff at school. Growing up my parents never gave me access to porn mags, but guess what, we got our hands on them anyway!

My bigger concern is the cyber bullying and danger that can cause, again, speak to them, make them realise that you are looking, and that anything they write and send is gone for ever, can be taken out of context and can get them into trouble.

It is a minefield.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son used to search porn on youtube when he was 13, there isn't any but he tried there first.

That's creepy, good job you found out.

Consider myself quite lucky that my younger kids have no interest in using the internet (they're 11 and 12) and my older sons only used my laptop for browsing so i saw their history as soon as i logged on, it was mostly music videos on youtube they looked at or downloaded trojans from free games.

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

My children are all adults now. They are more likely to check my browsing history.

Eldest son (27 now) made his own naughty magazines which I found under his mattress. He had been selling them to friends for £1.

He had made £65. It cost me slightly more what with the telephone bill (dial up) and the cost of replacing the inks in the printer.

My baby boy was no longer innocent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was asked by my 9 year old a few months back if I'd ever put a boys thing in my mouth as that's what some girl at school said happens if you don't want babies ! A very honest chat was had. They ask all sorts and get honest answers in return. I've been the same with all my boys.

I've got filters etc on our Internet and family settings on sky and X box. However I quite often take cables and change passwords as a punishment and I always have a look at what they are browsing.

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

"Gosh Juniper. So pleased it came out before anything serious. Scary shit!

Well unfortunately intimate photos were sent

CEOP were brilliant though x"

I'd certainly recommend CEOP website for a whole host of information and there is also a good report on pcadvisor. Co. uk with a run through of the best parental control free software for 2015/2016. Sadly it's become a way of the world today children are so easy to become targets online. It's not just something that happens to someone else though. I've a friend's child whimwas being groomed for some time and also my own daughter but very early stages by someone we knew and she trusted. Fortunately my job makes me a little more savvy about CSE and also very suspicious so it was dealt with although he went onto others but eventually ended up in prison for it. Sadly just not long enough as he's out now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a parent you are always hoping curiosity doesn't go far. But both myself and my ex wife have agreed to try install the correct attitude towards sex and other pleasures in life to our kids. Respect for themselves and others. I would be very disappointed if my children decided to throw away their dignity away for a holiday or joined in chanting slag like the students last week at Hull university. But I know they will be curious and can make mistakes we are here to guard and guide them.

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