FabSwingers.com forum: Jokes for today

By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. "What's wrong, dearest?" asked the confused husband. "Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?" "Well," replied the man, "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Little girl comes running into the kitchen crying.

"Mummy, mummy I need some cider"

"What do you want cider for my dear, you are only eight years old" replies her mother

"I pricked my hand on a thorn bush" says the little girl

"But why do you want cider" asks mother

"Well" says the girl "my older sister says that when she gets a prick in her hand she can't wait to get it in cider"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here is a good one, the bus was 40min late and a passenger said to the bus driver, why was you late? He sais cos I had a bic mac at McDonald's lol.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

What's an Aussie's idea of foreplay?

"BRACE YERSELF SHEILA"

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By *edMan
over a year ago

cambridgeshire

Did you hear about the new FAB filter to block non PC jokes?

Thought you'd like that one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A little girl comes home from school and says to her mum "the boys at school said that babies come out of the same hole that their willys go in. Is that right mum?"

"Yes dear, that's right" said mum.

"But isn't that going to break my teeth?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A judge found himself presiding over a divorce suit brought by Mickey Mouse against Minnie Mouse. "Mr Mouse," explained the judge after reviewing the suit, "You can't divorce your wife just because you claim she is crazy." "I didn't say she was crazy," replied Mickey, "I said she was fuckin' Goofy!"

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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

During her annual checkup, the attractive woman was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. “Doctor…” she replied shyly, “I feel uncomfortable undressing in front of you.” “All right,” said the physician, “I’ll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you’re done.” A few moments later her voice called out from the darkness, “Doctor, I’ve undressed. What should I do with all my clothes?” “Put them on the chair, on top of mine.”

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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heard about the magic tractor?? It turned into a field

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Did you hear the one about the Germans, the Jews and the Second World War?

Well. It wasn't very funny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats long and hard and has cum in it?

A cucumber

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By *eorgeyporgeyMan
over a year ago

Warrington

A nervous, cosseted young lady goes to the Doctors to ask for some sexual health advice.

"Doctor" she says "I am getting married tomorrow, I am a virgin and have no experience in sexual matters, could you answer a few questions for me?"

"A little unusual" says the Doctor "But go ahead"

"Well" the young lady asks "what is the man's pink member called?"

The doctor coughs and replies "The technical name is "Penis"

"And the bulbous purple lump at the top?" "Ah" says the doctor "It's called the Glans, or "Bell End"

"And the spherical objects about 12 inches below the Glans?" asks the woman, finally

"Blimey" says the Doctor, a flush on his cheeks "well, I hope for your sake, they're the cheeks of his arse!"

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By *anejohnkent6263Couple
over a year ago

canterbury

how do you get a fat bird into bed......a piece of cake

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By *eorgeyporgeyMan
over a year ago

Warrington

"how do you get a fat bird into bed......a piece of cake"
Ahem, perhaps least said soonest mended.......

Do you like Wendy's? Good, you'll love it Wendy's balls start slapping your chin

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By *anda man.Man
over a year ago

Stockport

My pal just returned from a months holiday in Korea.

Loved the place..stayed at a family run B&B...the home cooking was out of this world.

Speciality of the house was Meatballs.

Said it was the Dogs Bollocks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the baker have brown hands?

He kneaded a poo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paddy and Mick walking across a bridge ,paddy says to Mick grab my legs and hold me over bridge I will catch us a fish for lunch so Mick lowers him over ,paddy shouts up pull me up quick theirs a train coming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

A rooster goes cock-a-doodle-do

A prostitute goes any cockle do...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Paddy and Mick walking across a bridge ,paddy says to Mick grab my legs and hold me over bridge I will catch us a fish for lunch so Mick lowers him over ,paddy shouts up pull me up quick theirs a train coming

The 1970's just called. They want their joke back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The 1970's just called. They want their joke back.

"
hey where's your joke and the old ones are the best ones, definition of agony a guy sliding down a razor blade using his balls as breaks

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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

Man goes to the dr. Says"doc my balls are turning orange" doctor asks what do you do? Man says" im reti_ed i sit around watch porn and eat cheeto's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Used to love these jokes - but of course the PC brigade have killed them - I never saw (and still don't) see anything slightly racist about them - they are just funny - we live in a v sad world when people can't see it that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q: Why did God give women tits?

A: So men would talk to them

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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

pensioners are enjoying oral sex together.

the old man says 'I can't stay down here for too long, it stinks!"

the old lady replies.. "sorry, its my arthritis."

the old man says "what, arthritis in your vagina??"

"no, you idiot!" replies the lady, "the arthritis is in my shoulder... I can't wipe my arse!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just been reading in paper a dwarf got robbed today.... how can anyone stoop that low

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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

Upon climax last night, I could tell, as usual, I'd left my girlfriend wanting more. I reached down and picked up a Flash Bathroom wipe from next to the bed and gently rubbed her clit with it.30 seconds later she'd had a massive orgasm and was laying sprawled out on the bed, panting. Flash - Does the hard work, so you don't have to!

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By *ager2please79Man
over a year ago

derby

Good guys finish last,

Bad guys finish all over her face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1970's jokes, now that reminds me.....

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By *illymint45Man
over a year ago

Cheshire

Whats the difference between light and hard?

You can sleep with a light on!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sergeant major. PRIVATE JONES,I DID NOT SEE YOU IN CAMOUFLAGE LESSONS

Private Jones . Thank you sir

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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

Their issuing viagra at the old folks home .... keep the old men from rolling out of bed

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By *xcumMan
over a year ago

kidderminster

The fight tonight. Now that must be the biggest joke. Not funny if you paid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lad runs into the kitchen and says to his dad "granny's got a prawn."

Dad looks confused and asks what the little fellah means. The lad repeats excitedly "granny's got a prawn."

So the dad asks his son to show him what he means.

The son leads him into the lounge where granny is asleep on the settee, her nightgown has fallen open below the waist.

"Look" says the lad pointing at granny's pussy "granny's got a prawn."

Ah says the father wisely, "that's not a prawn, it's a clitoris."

The lad up dissapointedly; "Ohhh. Well it tastes like a prawn......."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you make a bear cross?

Nail two together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy walked into a bar ..............................OUCH .......it was an iron bar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A guy walked into a bar ..............................OUCH .......it was an iron bar

2 guys walked in a bar! The 3rd one ducked

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

There was a guy who got a viagra stuck in his Throat All he ended up with was a stiff neck

Viagra a bit dangerous though there have been a couple of fatalities

Then there was a man who took sixteen and his wife died

Another took twenty and died. It was a week before they could shut the coffin lid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delilah " Rastas you in that cupboard?" Rastas, " Delilah I'm not in da cupboard". Delilah, " Rastas you sure you're not in dat cupboard ". Rastas, " Delilah I be Fucked if I'm in da cupboard". Delilah, " Rastas get in dat cupboard"

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By *iptopcoolMan
over a year ago

mid

A duck walks into a bar and says have you got any bread, the bar tender says no

Next day the duck walks back into the bar and says have you got any bread, the bar tender says no

Next day the duck walks into the bar and says have you got any bread, the bar tender says no and if you ever come in here again asking for fucking bread again I will nail your fucking beak to the fucking bar

The duck says have you got any nails, the bar tender says NO !

So the duck says have you got any bread

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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

Whats grey and cums in quarts ? Elephants

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

One from Masai Graham:

I was going to write a joke about 'International Men's Day' but it's too much commitment for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two birds sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and says "can you smell fish?"

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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

A man is about to jump off London Bridge when he hears a voice behind him. It's Santa Claus.

"Why do this? It's Christmas Eve?" Santa says.

"Because I've lost my job, " the man answe_ed, " my wife has left me, and I have no presents for the kids."

"Ah, I can grant you 3 wishes, " replied Santa, "So when you get up tomorrow your job will be there, your wife will be waiting for you, and there'll be presents for the children."

"Oh Santa - however can I repay you?" gasped the man.

"Well - not a lot of people know this, " came the reply, "But old Santa is gay, you could bend over for me, the elves aren't much good at it."

"Dunno 'bout that, " the man said.

"Oh, go on, " Santa urged, "After all - I granted you 3 wishes, don't be so ungrateful."

"Ok, " the man sighed, as he unzipped his trousers.

Santa did the biz and when he finished the man pulled his trousers back up.

Santa looks at the man and asks "How old are you?"

"47, " came the reply.

"What? And you still believe in Santa Claus?"

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Why doesn't santa claus have any kids?

He only comes once a year and always down the chimney!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why doesn't santa claus have any kids?

He only comes once a year and always down the chimney!"
he's rather plump with a small Dick and he's out of shape he gets out of breath easily and can't climax

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Santa only comes once a year, but when he does he fills your stocking!

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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them, they said it would be just like winning the lottery! I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off and to my horror, we had six matching balls!

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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

Snow is like a cock, it's measu_ed in inches, soft to touch, cums when you least expect it and never gets as deep as you'd like it!!

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

An Englishman, Irishman and Scottish man are sitting in a pub having a drink when an octopus walks in and announces that he will bet anyone £50 that he can play any musical instrument of anyone’s choosing.

“Right, have my guitar” says the Englishman. The octopus takes it and plays it better than Hendrix. The Englishman sadly hands over £50 and takes his pint back to his table.

“Alright, try the piano” says the Irishman. The octopus sits at the stool and plays it better than Elton. The Irishman sadly hands over £50 and takes his Guinness back to table.

“Aye laddie, but can ye play the bagpipes” says the Scottish man, handing the octopus a set. After ten minutes the octopus is rolling around the floor, wrestling with the pipes and not making a single note. “Right laddie, do ye give up” calls the Scottish Man. “Give Up!” cries the octopus, “Why I’m going to fuck her brains out when I get her pyjamas off!”

Why is Superman a crap shag? He’s faster than a speeding bullet!

What’s the difference between a ginger man and a brick? The brick has a chance of getting laid!

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

A bloke was stopped by the police around 2am and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

"I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as the dangers of smoking and staying out late." he replied.

The officer asked, "Really? And who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

"That would be my wife." he said.

An Irishman went into a chemist's shop and asked for a deodorant. "Do you want aerosol or roll-on ball?" the assistant asked. "Neither", said Paddy, "it's for under me arms"

I've just been given some 007 Viagra.

Apparently it makes you roger more.

Went to my Great Uncle's funeral yesterday. He died at Wimbledon after being hit on the head with a tennis ball.

It was a lovely service...

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks 'First offender?'.

She says, 'No, first a Gibson, then a Fender'.

Bilbo was surprised when he awoke one morning and found Tesco had built a store next to his house. It was an unexpected item in the Baggins area.

Research scientists have succeeded in growing human vocal chords in a petri dish. The results speak for themselves.

A restaurant manager was sacked today after an employee lost three fingers in an electric food mixer.

Apparently he had failed to do an adequate whisk assessment.

My local cinema is putting on a showing of the latest Bond film exclusively for dyslexics.

Respect.

Apparently levels of inbreeding around the world are decreasing, so it's time to up the auntie.

A drum and a cymbal fell off a cliff...

Ba-dum... Tish...

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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

Know what you call a box of vibrators ? Toys for twats

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Two French Virgins on their wedding night, not knowing what to do the wife phones her mother for advice.

“Just tell him to take the longest thing he has and stick it in the hairiest thing you have” replies the wise old lady.

A couple of minutes pass and the wife phones her mother again.

“Okay mama, he has his nose in my armpit, what should we do now?”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q what goes in out in out and stinks of piss?

A old people doing the hoaky koaky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A bloke was stopped by the police around 2am and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

"I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as the dangers of smoking and staying out late." he replied.

The officer asked, "Really? And who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

"That would be my wife." he said.

An Irishman went into a chemist's shop and asked for a deodorant. "Do you want aerosol or roll-on ball?" the assistant asked. "Neither", said Paddy, "it's for under me arms"

I've just been given some 007 Viagra.

Apparently it makes you roger more.

Went to my Great Uncle's funeral yesterday. He died at Wimbledon after being hit on the head with a tennis ball.

It was a lovely service...

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks 'First offender?'.

She says, 'No, first a Gibson, then a Fender'.

Bilbo was surprised when he awoke one morning and found Tesco had built a store next to his house. It was an unexpected item in the Baggins area.

Research scientists have succeeded in growing human vocal chords in a petri dish. The results speak for themselves.

A restaurant manager was sacked today after an employee lost three fingers in an electric food mixer.

Apparently he had failed to do an adequate whisk assessment.

My local cinema is putting on a showing of the latest Bond film exclusively for dyslexics.

Respect.

Apparently levels of inbreeding around the world are decreasing, so it's time to up the auntie.

A drum and a cymbal fell off a cliff...

Ba-dum... Tish...

I'm stealing the bond one.

Cheers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do Essex girls use for protection during sex?

Bus shelters

- -

Why do women have orgasms?

It gives them another reason to moan ..

(nb I'm not *always* this sexist

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do Essex girls use for protection during sex?

Bus shelters

- -

Why do women have orgasms?

It gives them another reason to moan ..

(nb I'm not *always* this sexist

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

Reminds me of the story about the guy who dropped a tub of low fat spread on his foot.

The doctor told him to rub some of the spread on it every day and to come back and visit him in a week.

A week later the guy visits the doctor again and says it still hurts.

"Oh," says the doctor. "I can't believe it's not better."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what do you get if you cross a snowman with a shark?

frost bite

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. AND THATS NOT FUNNY

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do Essex girls use for protection during sex?

Bus shelters

- -

Why do women have orgasms?

It gives them another reason to moan ..

(nb I'm not *always* this sexist

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Police are on the lookout for a 4 foot clairvoyant suspected of robbery. Headline read 'small medium at large'. I'll get my coat....

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By *_and_k_staffsCouple
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

2 fish in a tank

one turns to the other and says

"you drive, i'll man the guns"

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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago

between havant and chichester

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

The missus bought a Paperback,

down Shepton Mallet way,

I had a look inside her bag;...

T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,

And at ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appea_ed;

The sight filled me with dread.

In her left hand she held a rope;

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down upon the floor,

And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;

I might have had a peek;

But Mabel hasn't weathe_ed well;

She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;

Could not have been much grimmer.

And things then went from bad to worse;

She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;

A couple minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and said

"I am a dominator!!"

Now if you knew our Mabel,

You'd see just why I splutte_ed,

I'd spent two months in traction

For the last complaint I'd utte_ed.

She stood there nude and naked

Bent forward just a bit

I went to hold her, sensual like

and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;

My God what had I done!

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

"Step on the other one!!"

Well readers, I can tell no more;

Of what occur_ed that day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair,

Turned fifty shades of grey!!

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By *onnie55Man
over a year ago

Port Talbot

This is better told 'live' than written - and always raises a chuckle:

Knock, knock?

Who's there?

Maybe it's a big horse..

Maybe it's a big horse who?

Maybe it's a big horse I'm a Londoner..

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

What do you call a girl hanging from a goalpost?

ANNETTE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a bloke with leaves on his head? Russell.

What do you call a girl with slate on her head? Ruth.

What do you call an Indian standing on one leg? Balancing.

What's pink and hard? A pig with a flicknife.

What's white and wears checked trousers? Rupert the fridge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Police are looking for a man they are calling"the knitting needle nutter" the nutter has attacked 3 seperate people sneaking up behind them and stabbing them in the back with the knitting needle.

A police spokesman has said"we think there maybe a pattern emerging here"

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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

Their issuing viagra at the old folks home .... keep the old men from rolling out of bed...

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By *ed969Man
over a year ago

leicester

What's _ed and bad for your teeth

A house brick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/12/15 17:31:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do Essex girls use for protection during sex?

Bus shelters

- -

Why do women have orgasms?

It gives them another reason to moan ..

(nb I'm not *always* this sexist

How does an Essex girl turn the light on after sex?

Opens the car door!

Why are wash machines funny?

Because they take the piss out if knickers

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

How do you know when you pass an elephant?

You can't get the toilet seat down. BOOM BOOM

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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

I was shocked to see my well fit divorced neighbour knocking on the door last night. "I'm so horny that I can't stand it." she said. "I want to go out, get d*unk and get a good hard fuck. Are you free tonight?" "fuckin right i am!" I replied enthusiastically. "Wonderful." she said. "Would you watch my kids?"

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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells "Don't enter that church, you daft twat, its a trap!"

His wife asks him "What are you watching?"

Husband replies "Our wedding video."

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Man comes home from the chemist all excited, shouts up the stairs to his wife

"Honey I just bought some Olympic condoms- gold, silver and bronze. I'm going to wear the gold one like a champion!"

Wife calls back down from the bedroom

"Wear the silver one and let me come first for a change"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q. What do you call a Russian with three balls?

A. Whojanikabolicov

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

As told to me by some New Zealander electricians;

What' an Aussie man's idea of foreplay?

"BRACE YERSELF SHEILA"

What do you call an intelligent Australian?

A Kiwi

What happens if the dumbest half of the Kiwi population moves to Australia?

You improve the average IQ of both countries.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the cross eyed teacher loose her job.

She had no control over her pupils..x

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By *sianmale89Man
over a year ago

Stockport

....."trust man with diarreha, he no longer full of shit"

lmao..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If you have a homing pigeon and it doesn't make it home......what you've lost is a pigeon.

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

Wife as told me to surprise her with something gold for Christmas just got her a gold fish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man tries,to get into a party

The doorman says. " Sorry mate it's fancy dress

The guy goes away. 10 minutes later he is back piggy backing a lady.

The doorman says ",Sorry mate it's,fancy dress

The guys,says,,"I am in fancy dress !!

Doorman says,",as what ?

Guy says. "A tortoise

Doorman says. Well who's that on yer back ?

Guys says,",it's Michelle

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Why doesn't viagra work on West Ham fans?

Because they need ten of their mates behind them before they start to feel hard!

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By *rbadguy64Couple
over a year ago

bangor

We are having a fancy dress party this Xmas so I orde_ed a " Grizzally" costume but only part of it has arrived , I could kill that courier with my " Bear hands "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is the bit between a womens tits and hips called a waist?

Cause you could have a extra pair of tits there.

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

What's the definition of strain ?

Teeth mark's in the toilet door

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Got invited to a fancy dress party.

Think I'll go as premature ejaculation and just come in my pants

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

What does an eighty year old have between her boobs that an eighteen year old doesn't?

Her belly button!

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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

Mr Cabury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker. It was After eight. They got off at quality street. He asked her name "Polo" I'm the one with a hole she said with a wispa. "I'm marathon the one with the nuts" he replied. He touched her creme eggs and slipped his hand into her snickers. He fondled her flap jacks and she rubbed his tic tacs. It was a fab moment as she screamed in turkish delight. Three days later his sherbet dib-dab started to itch. Turns out miss Rowntree had been with mr Bassett and he has all sorts.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

What happens when a Jedi's alarm clock goes off?

The Force Awakens

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

This one is too good not to share. It is from Tony Cowards, who is well worth seeing.

'I've just found out what Yoda's surname is. It's Maggio.'

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By *hehandymancanMan
over a year ago

barnsley

Had a right bollocking today, i took delivery of a roll of bubble wrap and boss told me to pop it in the corner. 3 hrs it took

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

In my cracker

Why are policemen so strong

Because they had up traffic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a sign in the gents at work saying, 'Please leave these toilets as you found them.'

So I always walk out backwards.

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

Give a woman 2 glasses of wine a day it increases the chance of a stroke.

Give her the full bottle you might get a suck

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