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Measuring the python.

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone

Right what are the rules? I suspect some are measuring as far back as there rusty starfish. And while we are at it what are the group classes, I presume the following.

That’s not going near me

VWE

WE

Not Bad

So so

It might do

Hmmm are you sure its hard

Is it a clit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what's a python ?

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"what's a python ?"

Ok if you prefer grass snake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Measure from the front and add 3 inches

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just done that, I got 4 foot 3 inches.

am I doing something wrong ?

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"Just done that, I got 4 foot 3 inches.

am I doing something wrong ?"

Well i donno do i thats why im asking!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Call me cynical but a single guy with a 10 inch cock usually equates to a married guy with a 7 inch cock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best use centimetres and then convert where 1 cm = 1 inch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Call me cynical but a single guy with a 10 inch cock usually equates to a married guy with a 7 inch cock "

fancy a shag?

are you free now?

lol

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone

I think someone is using one off them expanding workman's tape measures and tucking the metal end in there crinkle!

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By *ibertinesCouple
over a year ago

Cupar

Tbh - unless you are genuninely massive or minute....it doesnt matter that much. I havent been swinging long (yearish) but it seems general physique, facial looks and personailty are more important to the people I have met.

That said - Massive....9" + with 4" diameter

Minute - watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_E8b0TlT7l0

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"Tbh - unless you are genuninely massive or minute....it doesnt matter that much. I havent been swinging long (yearish) but it seems general physique, facial looks and personailty are more important to the people I have met.

That said - Massive....9" + with 4" diameter

Minute - watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_E8b0TlT7l0"

Now i soooooo wish i hadn't opened that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tbh - unless you are genuninely massive or minute....it doesnt matter that much. I havent been swinging long (yearish) but it seems general physique, facial looks and personailty are more important to the people I have met.

That said - Massive....9" + with 4" diameter

Minute - watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_E8b0TlT7l0"

Pmsl, at least he was kind enough to offer some oral first!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as long as it fills a hole...who cares lol

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By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone


"Tbh - unless you are genuninely massive or minute....it doesnt matter that much. I havent been swinging long (yearish) but it seems general physique, facial looks and personailty are more important to the people I have met.

That said - Massive....9" + with 4" diameter

Minute - watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_E8b0TlT7l0

Pmsl, at least he was kind enough to offer some oral first! "

arghh i just know i'#m going to have to look now!!

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By *teve_SoleilCouple
over a year ago

Malaysia

Tie it to something heavy....and pull as hard as you can...measure only the insert able part...:D

VWE - 10+, WE - 8+, So-so - 6+....everything else is not in scale...:D

P.S: Always bring tape to meet...:D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok ok, I'M really thinking about running to the toilet in work with a tape measure, so anyway, girth of said python...measure around the thickest part, and whats average. I'm scared of havin an average length, with a good girth (kinda soumes like a fat party sausage) lol

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"Ok ok, I'M really thinking about running to the toilet in work with a tape measure, so anyway, girth of said python...measure around the thickest part, and whats average. I'm scared of havin an average length, with a good girth (kinda soumes like a fat party sausage) lol"

You have tape measures at work! WOW

I wouldn't do that thou as you might get the sack if they catch you stood on the toilet seat with a lob on and your ruler!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" with 4" diameter "

Oooh, thats massive then?? What is bigger than that classed as??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lob on is everyday practice, you know, when you have to sit at your desk that extra 2 minutes so it subsides before you stand up, we've all been there! And if I were to be caught, I'd lead them to this thread, I'm sure they would understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm scared of havin an average length, with a good girth (kinda soumes like a fat party sausage) lol"

Ever been to a party where the sausages are never eaten...

Mines a 50/50 ratio lol... Oh and no ones ever complained so far.. So party sausages are ok by those we have met lol..

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"A lob on is everyday practice, you know, when you have to sit at your desk that extra 2 minutes so it subsides before you stand up, we've all been there! And if I were to be caught, I'd lead them to this thread, I'm sure they would understand."

They wouldn't here as there are only two other blokes and 18 women! I have a nice big glass wall on my office so some how i dont need a monkey in my pants as it would be obvious and chatter would start lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm scared of havin an average length, with a good girth (kinda soumes like a fat party sausage) lol

Ever been to a party where the sausages are never eaten...

Mines a 50/50 ratio lol... Oh and no ones ever complained so far.. So party sausages are ok by those we have met lol.. "

hmmm those partys you speak of, so a sausage and 2 pickles, story of my life!

Oh and you with the glass window, I hope your computer is facing you

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"I'm scared of havin an average length, with a good girth (kinda soumes like a fat party sausage) lol

Ever been to a party where the sausages are never eaten...

Mines a 50/50 ratio lol... Oh and no ones ever complained so far.. So party sausages are ok by those we have met lol..

hmmm those partys you speak of, so a sausage and 2 pickles, story of my life!

Oh and you with the glass window, I hope your computer is facing you"

Im ok as my desk faces the door and the screens arn't visible. But i wouldn't advise chatting at work as your IT admin can see where you have been.

Still not found the definitive measuring point here folks, its all very vague lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Still not found the definitive measuring point here folks, its all very vague lol"

I believe you measure along the top from the pubic bone...

...its after that you x5, +4 then divide by 3 to get your mystery made up figure!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally... I prefer the most acurate method known to man...

Slide it in, deep and slow.... Make sure your in balls deep then just ask 'Is that enough'

If not.. who cares lol.. Your in!

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"Personally... I prefer the most acurate method known to man...

Slide it in, deep and slow.... Make sure your in balls deep then just ask 'Is that enough'

If not.. who cares lol.. Your in! "

Well thats fine and dandy but some peeps wouldn't be happy.

If you had a 20ft lounge and ordered a 20ft carpet from carpetsRus and they turned up with a 16 footer you would be miffed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is it the lounge that is too big or the carpet too small ?

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"is it the lounge that is too big or the carpet too small ?"

FFS the carpet is too small!

20-16 means you would have 4ft with no rug on and no spare carpet to munch on.

I can tell you have laminate in your lounge don't ya!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"is it the lounge that is too big or the carpet too small ?

FFS the carpet is too small!

20-16 means you would have 4ft with no rug on and no spare carpet to munch on.

I can tell you have laminate in your lounge don't ya!"

do you know what an allegory is ? Or a metaphor, perhaps ?

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"is it the lounge that is too big or the carpet too small ?

FFS the carpet is too small!

20-16 means you would have 4ft with no rug on and no spare carpet to munch on.

I can tell you have laminate in your lounge don't ya!

do you know what an allegory is ? Or a metaphor, perhaps ?"

Yep sure do! I have an allergy to carpet fitters who measure as they would there cocks.

I know someone who has some cheep rugs if your interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

did they buy them from you ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol this is an amusing thread lol

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone

Oi my carpets fit wall to wall ill have you know. I just happen to know a man who makes rugs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"as long as it fills a hole...who cares lol "

Now that's my kind of woman!

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and I know a builder who makes walls, back at yer !

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"and I know a builder who makes walls, back at yer !"

feck this is getting like grand designs ¬¬

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"and I know a builder who makes walls, back at yer !"

Typical southerner! His carpet is too small so he builds a wall at the edge of the carpet.

So if your following that line do you ask the woman to pack her box so your todger will have a snug fit?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

aha, so the allegory got through eventually. Took a while though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"so he builds a wall at the edge of the carpet."

your walls not at the edge of your carpets then ? Presumably to leave room for storing your coal.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"aha, so the allegory got through eventually. Took a while though."

jeeeze ...now i am confused ..whats the music of Filippino Lippi got to do with it ?

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"aha, so the allegory got through eventually. Took a while though."

Through! im thinking i should be selling carpets in Reading as i'd make a packet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you're welcome, I look forward to seeing your white van

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"you're welcome, I look forward to seeing your white van"

Well its tempting but i would need to buy a van but id have to bring my whippets, raving pigeons and my flat cap collection and the carpets wouldn't be long at all as there wouldn't be much room left for them.

I am dealing with a company thats closing right now that does a nice line in floor ceramics so could do you a good deal on them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sounds interesting, but don't bring the raving pigeons. Don't want to be awake all night listening to their fecking music.

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings."

Your just after cheep floor tiles you are. Women are like that when there is a bargain in the offing!

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings.

Your just after cheep floor tiles you are. Women are like that when there is a bargain in the offing!"

i got to give him that one its true .....mention shoes mate and you will be innundated ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings.

Your just after cheep floor tiles you are. Women are like that when there is a bargain in the offing!"

excuse me! I dont do anything on the cheap!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oi, what shoes got to do with it ? This forum is about carpets.

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings.

Your just after cheep floor tiles you are. Women are like that when there is a bargain in the offing!

excuse me! I dont do anything on the cheap!"

Cheep who said cheep? We have just been called in as receivers on a top end tile importers. Some of these tiles retail at £146 each. If you want cheep go to Reading!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

now now boys, put your handbags away lol

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings.

Your just after cheep floor tiles you are. Women are like that when there is a bargain in the offing!

excuse me! I dont do anything on the cheap!

Cheep who said cheep? We have just been called in as receivers on a top end tile importers. Some of these tiles retail at £146 each. If you want cheep go to Reading!"

screw the tiles ...if you turnover on a designer shoe place trust me youll clean up ...can i be your agent !!! pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some of these tiles retail at £146 each. If you want cheep go to Reading!"

yes, but they went bust because they were trying to sell them up north, and nobody wants to pay 146 quid (a year's wages at t'mill). Now, down south, our floors are paved with gold, as they should be, as it's us southerners what drive the economy to keep you lot in raving pigeons.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"now now boys, put your handbags away lol"

good point ...handbags dude ...you can put it in your profile !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings.

Your just after cheep floor tiles you are. Women are like that when there is a bargain in the offing!

i got to give him that one its true .....mention shoes mate and you will be innundated .. "
ooh someone mention shoes?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some of these tiles retail at £146 each. If you want cheep go to Reading!

yes, but they went bust because they were trying to sell them up north, and nobody wants to pay 146 quid (a year's wages at t'mill). Now, down south, our floors are paved with gold, as they should be, as it's us southerners what drive the economy to keep you lot in raving pigeons."

Been to Reading.. Seen it, and moved on quick.. Most towns darn sarf are right ol tips...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been to Reading.. Seen it, and moved on quick.. Most towns darn sarf are right ol tips... "

You only saw what we wanted you to see.

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings.

Your just after cheep floor tiles you are. Women are like that when there is a bargain in the offing!

excuse me! I dont do anything on the cheap!

Cheep who said cheep? We have just been called in as receivers on a top end tile importers. Some of these tiles retail at £146 each. If you want cheep go to Reading!

screw the tiles ...if you turnover on a designer shoe place trust me youll clean up ...can i be your agent !!! pmsl "

Ohh dont even go there. We had to close a place down in Hull that had about 3000 pairs of shoes from Karen Millen to Jimmy choo. I work with 18 women here and i genuinely feared for my life as they wanted first dibs. All 3000 pairs went at a tenner each in about 30 mins. It was like watching seagulls with dropped food at the coast.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings.

Your just after cheep floor tiles you are. Women are like that when there is a bargain in the offing!

i got to give him that one its true .....mention shoes mate and you will be innundated .. ooh someone mention shoes?????"

damn here we go !!!!!!! back back ...its floor tyles ....cracks whip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings.

Your just after cheep floor tiles you are. Women are like that when there is a bargain in the offing!

excuse me! I dont do anything on the cheap!

Cheep who said cheep? We have just been called in as receivers on a top end tile importers. Some of these tiles retail at £146 each. If you want cheep go to Reading!

screw the tiles ...if you turnover on a designer shoe place trust me youll clean up ...can i be your agent !!! pmsl

Ohh dont even go there. We had to close a place down in Hull that had about 3000 pairs of shoes from Karen Millen to Jimmy choo. I work with 18 women here and i genuinely feared for my life as they wanted first dibs. All 3000 pairs went at a tenner each in about 30 mins. It was like watching seagulls with dropped food at the coast."

no boots??????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been to Reading.. Seen it, and moved on quick.. Most towns darn sarf are right ol tips...

You only saw what we wanted you to see."

Ohhh Right..... Well you display your wealth very poorly in those Southern Softy Towns lol...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings.

Your just after cheep floor tiles you are. Women are like that when there is a bargain in the offing!

i got to give him that one its true .....mention shoes mate and you will be innundated .. ooh someone mention shoes?????

damn here we go !!!!!!! back back ...its floor tyles ....cracks whip "
nooooo he said handbags too ...im sure he did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings.

Your just after cheep floor tiles you are. Women are like that when there is a bargain in the offing!

i got to give him that one its true .....mention shoes mate and you will be innundated .. ooh someone mention shoes?????

damn here we go !!!!!!! back back ...its floor tyles ....cracks whip nooooo he said handbags too ...im sure he did "

you got no hope of getting them...the boys are fighting over them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can we get this forum back on topic ?

Fresh Freddie wanted to know the rules for measuring carpets.

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings.

Your just after cheep floor tiles you are. Women are like that when there is a bargain in the offing!

i got to give him that one its true .....mention shoes mate and you will be innundated .. ooh someone mention shoes?????

damn here we go !!!!!!! back back ...its floor tyles ....cracks whip "

fook im going to change my profile to;-

Horny git can get designer shoes for peeps. Mind with my luck i would get suspect profiles wanting size 111's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can we get this forum back on topic ?

Fresh Freddie wanted to know the rules for measuring carpets."
oops sorry just got distracted....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

guestimate and hope for the best

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings.

Your just after cheep floor tiles you are. Women are like that when there is a bargain in the offing!

i got to give him that one its true .....mention shoes mate and you will be innundated .. ooh someone mention shoes?????

damn here we go !!!!!!! back back ...its floor tyles ....cracks whip nooooo he said handbags too ...im sure he did "

crack crack ....back kaz its not yet ...it doesnt open till next week ..pitch your tent here and be head of the queue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you two should get a room...you could decorate it together darlings.

Your just after cheep floor tiles you are. Women are like that when there is a bargain in the offing!

i got to give him that one its true .....mention shoes mate and you will be innundated .. ooh someone mention shoes?????

damn here we go !!!!!!! back back ...its floor tyles ....cracks whip nooooo he said handbags too ...im sure he did

crack crack ....back kaz its not yet ...it doesnt open till next week ..pitch your tent here and be head of the queue "
lololol xx

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"guestimate and hope for the best"

I have given up, ne fekker knows the todger measuring rules. Have to say im astounded as so many profiles say VWE or WE welcome. How the chuff do you not know if its big or not is you dont know how to measure. Should be universal like a bra. We all know what 36DD's are.

Im just gonna say "cock fits in a bucket" and hope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"guestimate and hope for the best

I have given up, ne fekker knows the todger measuring rules. Have to say im astounded as so many profiles say VWE or WE welcome. How the chuff do you not know if its big or not is you dont know how to measure. Should be universal like a bra. We all know what 36DD's are.

Im just gonna say "cock fits in a bucket" and hope"

theres a hole in my bucket!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We all know what 36DD's are."

Yes, but some of us have seen them too.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"guestimate and hope for the best

I have given up, ne fekker knows the todger measuring rules. Have to say im astounded as so many profiles say VWE or WE welcome. How the chuff do you not know if its big or not is you dont know how to measure. Should be universal like a bra. We all know what 36DD's are.

Im just gonna say "cock fits in a bucket" and hope"

its not the size of the cock its the size of the intake of breath it produces what counts anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"theres a hole in my bucket!"

Fesh Freddie will be almost able to fill it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We all know what 36DD's are.

Yes, but some of us have seen them too."

Some of us snuggle into them every night.. Mmmmmmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im just gonna say "cock fits in a bucket" and hope"

No, your first post was best - just put "That’s not going near me"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We all know what 36DD's are.

Yes, but some of us have seen them too.

Some of us snuggle into them every night.. Mmmmmmmmmm "

Not possible, they don't really exist.

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone

Does any one know the rules of bucket measurement? is it Diameter, circumference of depth. It is a northern bucket so bigger than them southern ones.

I am very disillusioned by the lack of tool measurement on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is a northern bucket so bigger than them southern ones."

Maybe, but our buckets don't have holes in them in the first place.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

When we where younger we used to get the guys in the pub to lob there winkies out and whoevers fitted furthest into a pint glass won. Speaking as a woman, average to give deep throat, nice sized for pussy and a cocktail sausage for anal

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"It is a northern bucket so bigger than them southern ones.

Maybe, but our buckets don't have holes in them in the first place."

Ok hoe do you fill them then down there .Out buckets are cylindrical with a bottom and no top don't tell me you have different ones

http://www.diy.com/diy/jsp/bq/nav.jsp?action=detail&fh_secondid=9298402&fh_view_size=10&fh_location=%2f%2fcatalog01%2fen_GB&fh_search=bucket&fh_eds=%C3%9F&fh_refview=search&ts=1245679491310&isSearch=true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does any one know the rules of bucket measurement? is it Diameter, circumference of depth. It is a northern bucket so bigger than them southern ones.

I am very disillusioned by the lack of tool measurement on here!"

That one is easy too Get a dip stick, bit like you would get for an old car that has no petrol gague. Dip it in, pull it out and see how far up the stick is wet!

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone

Its not a phone no its an ORANGE bucket!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what's that got to do with carpets ? Freddie and I have come on this site to discuss sensible things, like building, carpets and walls, and we keep getting interrupted by swingers !

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"Does any one know the rules of bucket measurement? is it Diameter, circumference of depth. It is a northern bucket so bigger than them southern ones.

I am very disillusioned by the lack of tool measurement on here!

That one is easy too Get a dip stick, bit like you would get for an old car that has no petrol gague. Dip it in, pull it out and see how far up the stick is wet!"

What happens if its wet right down to the knees!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what's that got to do with carpets ? Freddie and I have come on this site to discuss sensible things, like building, carpets and walls, and we keep getting interrupted by swingers !"

Think when you typed in you were looking for a shag you got the wrong website!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what's that got to do with carpets ? Freddie and I have come on this site to discuss sensible things, like building, carpets and walls, and we keep getting interrupted by swingers !

Think when you typed in you were looking for a shag you got the wrong website!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does any one know the rules of bucket measurement? is it Diameter, circumference of depth. It is a northern bucket so bigger than them southern ones.

I am very disillusioned by the lack of tool measurement on here!

That one is easy too Get a dip stick, bit like you would get for an old car that has no petrol gague. Dip it in, pull it out and see how far up the stick is wet!"

lmfao

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"what's that got to do with carpets ? Freddie and I have come on this site to discuss sensible things, like building, carpets and walls, and we keep getting interrupted by swingers !

Think when you typed in you were looking for a shag you got the wrong website!

"

Keep up we are on buckets now!

Right cock size measurement. i have it.

First every one buys a 12ltr B&Q bucket and fills it (12liters to brim) You then plonk your todger in as far as it will go. Water over flows. Now measure your remaining water.

QED your displacement (loss of water is your toger size) I know some peeps will find this difficult but no star fish measurements. But no cheating you are NOT to dip your balls in the water as its cheating, and make the water tepid so you dont shrivel.

Fek me im a genius, the definitive nob measure!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

amazing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Now measure your remaining water."

How ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what's that got to do with carpets ? Freddie and I have come on this site to discuss sensible things, like building, carpets and walls, and we keep getting interrupted by swingers !

Think when you typed in you were looking for a shag you got the wrong website!

Keep up we are on buckets now!

Right cock size measurement. i have it.

First every one buys a 12ltr B&Q bucket and fills it (12liters to brim) You then plonk your todger in as far as it will go. Water over flows. Now measure your remaining water.

QED your displacement (loss of water is your toger size) I know some peeps will find this difficult but no star fish measurements. But no cheating you are NOT to dip your balls in the water as its cheating, and make the water tepid so you dont shrivel.

Fek me im a genius, the definitive nob measure!"

Did you happen to shout 'eureka!' when you thought of that by any chance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

womens prospective

insertion and I rest my ashtray on your back an continue reading my book..its small

insertion and you hear a gasp..ample

insertion and hear a scream...way too big

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"Now measure your remaining water.

How ?"

with a measuring jug FFS! 12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres! or if you wanna sound bit 2000mls

Hmmmm this aint gonna work is it!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Now measure your remaining water.

How ?

with a measuring jug FFS! 12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres! or if you wanna sound bit 2000mls

Hmmmm this aint gonna work is it!!!!"

What happens if you ejaculate in the jug at the same time? that will displace extra water?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Now measure your remaining water.

How ?

with a measuring jug FFS! 12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres! or if you wanna sound bit 2000mls

Hmmmm this aint gonna work is it!!!!"
you have far too much time on your hands young man!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Now measure your remaining water.

How ?

with a measuring jug FFS! 12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres! or if you wanna sound bit 2000mls

Hmmmm this aint gonna work is it!!!!

What happens if you ejaculate in the jug at the same time? that will displace extra water?"
omg youre all at it now !

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"Now measure your remaining water.

How ?

with a measuring jug FFS! 12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres! or if you wanna sound bit 2000mls

you have a prob mate if you prematurely ejaculate in a bucket of water! your not gonna be popular here!

Hmmmm this aint gonna work is it!!!!

What happens if you ejaculate in the jug at the same time? that will displace extra water?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Now measure your remaining water.

How ?

with a measuring jug FFS! 12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres! or if you wanna sound bit 2000mls

you have a prob mate if you prematurely ejaculate in a bucket of water! your not gonna be popular here!

Hmmmm this aint gonna work is it!!!!

What happens if you ejaculate in the jug at the same time? that will displace extra water?"

bit premature there with your answer, you didnt go to the end!

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"Now measure your remaining water.

How ?

with a measuring jug FFS! 12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres! or if you wanna sound bit 2000mls

you have a prob mate if you prematurely ejaculate in a bucket of water! your not gonna be popular here!

Hmmmm this aint gonna work is it!!!!

What happens if you ejaculate in the jug at the same time? that will displace extra water?

bit premature there with your answer, you didnt go to the end!"

are is this part of archimedes screw ?

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"Now measure your remaining water.

How ?

with a measuring jug FFS! 12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres! or if you wanna sound bit 2000mls

Hmmmm this aint gonna work is it!!!!

What happens if you ejaculate in the jug at the same time? that will displace extra water?"

you have a prob mate if you prematurely ejaculate in a bucket of water! your not gonna be popular here!

Right im going for a coffee my head hurts!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/06/09 15:33:47]

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"Now measure your remaining water.

How ?

with a measuring jug FFS! 12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres! or if you wanna sound bit 2000mls

Hmmmm this aint gonna work is it!!!!

What happens if you ejaculate in the jug at the same time? that will displace extra water?

you have a prob mate if you prematurely ejaculate in a bucket of water! your not gonna be popular here!

Right im going for a coffee my head hurts!"

i am not surprised with all that bucket talk ..man is not judged by cock alone ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres!"

so up north 12 minus 8 = 2

and shame on the rest of you who allowed that to go unnoticed.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres!

so up north 12 minus 8 = 2

and shame on the rest of you who allowed that to go unnoticed."

it was post modern irony ...honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres!

so up north 12 minus 8 = 2

and shame on the rest of you who allowed that to go unnoticed."

we are use to men exaggerating!

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres!

so up north 12 minus 8 = 2

and shame on the rest of you who allowed that to go unnoticed.

we are use to men exaggerating!"

as we are used to women making outlandish claims ...its the territory of lurrrrrrve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres!

so up north 12 minus 8 = 2

and shame on the rest of you who allowed that to go unnoticed.

we are use to men exaggerating!"

how many millions of times have you said that ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres!

so up north 12 minus 8 = 2

and shame on the rest of you who allowed that to go unnoticed.

we are use to men exaggerating!

as we are used to women making outlandish claims ...its the territory of lurrrrrrve "

never made a claim i couldnt back up hun.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres!

so up north 12 minus 8 = 2

and shame on the rest of you who allowed that to go unnoticed.

we are use to men exaggerating!

as we are used to women making outlandish claims ...its the territory of lurrrrrrve

never made a claim i couldnt back up hun."

oooooh your so oversensitive ,,,,everything is about you you you ...pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres!

so up north 12 minus 8 = 2

and shame on the rest of you who allowed that to go unnoticed.

we are use to men exaggerating!

as we are used to women making outlandish claims ...its the territory of lurrrrrrve

never made a claim i couldnt back up hun.

oooooh your so oversensitive ,,,,everything is about you you you ...pmsl "

over sensitive??? hell i odnt even fit into the sensitive bracket!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*don't*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right,we all done with carpets then ?

Next question please.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"*don't*"

please ....itssssss so diffficult to control my fingers ......hell p m,....e

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"12 litres to start minus what spilt leaves say 8 litres so your nob is 2 litres!

so up north 12 minus 8 = 2

and shame on the rest of you who allowed that to go unnoticed.

we are use to men exaggerating!

as we are used to women making outlandish claims ...its the territory of lurrrrrrve

never made a claim i couldnt back up hun.

oooooh your so oversensitive ,,,,everything is about you you you ...pmsl

over sensitive??? hell i odnt even fit into the sensitive bracket!"

oooo your sharp today with your observations lol. But i was just speaking hypothetically as i was under no circumstances going to drop my John Thomas into a bucket of water in my office.

Sensitive comes if the water is too hot or cold.

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"Right,we all done with carpets then ?

Next question please."

Just had a call from a bloke in Newcastle, they have 500mts of axminster going if you want some full pile !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Okay I have a question.

the taste of a woman, how would you describe it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what's a woman ?

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"Okay I have a question.

the taste of a woman, how would you describe it?

"

Hmmm well it varies from person to person i have to say. Without being rude it also depends how fastidious a woman is.

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"what's a woman ?"

You know them things that iron and cook and have wobblies up fount!

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"Okay I have a question.

the taste of a woman, how would you describe it?

"

well there are super tasters ..women with very sensitive tongues who are employed by drinks companies food companies etc ...but generally i think the taste buds of men and women are the same ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

of course it varies, but how would you describe it?

okay if thats too hard, describe one that you did like lol

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"of course it varies, but how would you describe it?

okay if thats too hard, describe one that you did like lol"

well i did have an interior decorator once who had a great ..eye didnt like her taste in furniture or white goods tho ....but she was ok ...i suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"of course it varies, but how would you describe it?

okay if thats too hard, describe one that you did like lol

well i did have an interior decorator once who had a great ..eye didnt like her taste in furniture or white goods tho ....but she was ok ...i suppose "

that question too hard for you to answer? lmao

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"of course it varies, but how would you describe it?

okay if thats too hard, describe one that you did like lol"

Scottish/Japanese customs officer in Hull and hers was sublime.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ok.

I think a woman tastes her best when she has that musky aroma. It has a sweetness to it,that is just yummy.

warm malted milk...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the vinigarette phase doesnt go down so well lol

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"ok.

I think a woman tastes her best when she has that musky aroma. It has a sweetness to it,that is just yummy.

warm malted milk...lol"

Err no its nowt like warm milk, well not the cows we milk round here.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"of course it varies, but how would you describe it?

okay if thats too hard, describe one that you did like lol

well i did have an interior decorator once who had a great ..eye didnt like her taste in furniture or white goods tho ....but she was ok ...i suppose

that question too hard for you to answer? lmao"

i thought my answer was a little subjective perhaps but did meet the needs of the question ...and was better than your bum beard question ...your improving ...your talent has no bounds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ok.

I think a woman tastes her best when she has that musky aroma. It has a sweetness to it,that is just yummy.

warm malted milk...lol

Err no its nowt like warm milk, well not the cows we milk round here. "

malted milk...it was the closest thing i could think of lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"of course it varies, but how would you describe it?

okay if thats too hard, describe one that you did like lol

well i did have an interior decorator once who had a great ..eye didnt like her taste in furniture or white goods tho ....but she was ok ...i suppose

that question too hard for you to answer? lmao

i thought my answer was a little subjective perhaps but did meet the needs of the question ...and was better than your bum beard question ...your improving ...your talent has no bounds

"

hmmmm well when left with topics going over and over it takes talent to come up with useless drivel...glad you noticed lol

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"ok.

I think a woman tastes her best when she has that musky aroma. It has a sweetness to it,that is just yummy.

warm malted milk...lol

Err no its nowt like warm milk, well not the cows we milk round here.

malted milk...it was the closest thing i could think of lol"

I will be totally honest and ethnic background does make a difference. Anglo saxon women there is a slight metallic flavour along with the sweet side which is lacking in Japanese/ Chinese women. also it varies upon how turned on a woman is.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"of course it varies, but how would you describe it?

okay if thats too hard, describe one that you did like lol

well i did have an interior decorator once who had a great ..eye didnt like her taste in furniture or white goods tho ....but she was ok ...i suppose

that question too hard for you to answer? lmao

i thought my answer was a little subjective perhaps but did meet the needs of the question ...and was better than your bum beard question ...your improving ...your talent has no bounds

hmmmm well when left with topics going over and over it takes talent to come up with useless drivel...glad you noticed lol"

i have to say you are the best and it ranks alongside those classics such as ..if a 500kg comet made of used tampax hit the city of london at 100 ,000 mph what would be the coefficent of linear expansion of london bridge and how much steam would be generated from the thames ...

ohhhh happy days ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"of course it varies, but how would you describe it?

okay if thats too hard, describe one that you did like lol

well i did have an interior decorator once who had a great ..eye didnt like her taste in furniture or white goods tho ....but she was ok ...i suppose

that question too hard for you to answer? lmao

i thought my answer was a little subjective perhaps but did meet the needs of the question ...and was better than your bum beard question ...your improving ...your talent has no bounds

hmmmm well when left with topics going over and over it takes talent to come up with useless drivel...glad you noticed lol

i have to say you are the best and it ranks alongside those classics such as ..if a 500kg comet made of used tampax hit the city of london at 100 ,000 mph what would be the coefficent of linear expansion of london bridge and how much steam would be generated from the thames ...

ohhhh happy days ..."

it would make a bloody mess, thats for sure!

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"of course it varies, but how would you describe it?

okay if thats too hard, describe one that you did like lol

well i did have an interior decorator once who had a great ..eye didnt like her taste in furniture or white goods tho ....but she was ok ...i suppose

that question too hard for you to answer? lmao

i thought my answer was a little subjective perhaps but did meet the needs of the question ...and was better than your bum beard question ...your improving ...your talent has no bounds

hmmmm well when left with topics going over and over it takes talent to come up with useless drivel...glad you noticed lol

i have to say you are the best and it ranks alongside those classics such as ..if a 500kg comet made of used tampax hit the city of london at 100 ,000 mph what would be the coefficent of linear expansion of london bridge and how much steam would be generated from the thames ...

ohhhh happy days ...

it would make a bloody mess, thats for sure!"

not the technical reply required ...see me after ....!!!!!

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"of course it varies, but how would you describe it?

okay if thats too hard, describe one that you did like lol

well i did have an interior decorator once who had a great ..eye didnt like her taste in furniture or white goods tho ....but she was ok ...i suppose

that question too hard for you to answer? lmao

i thought my answer was a little subjective perhaps but did meet the needs of the question ...and was better than your bum beard question ...your improving ...your talent has no bounds

hmmmm well when left with topics going over and over it takes talent to come up with useless drivel...glad you noticed lol

i have to say you are the best and it ranks alongside those classics such as ..if a 500kg comet made of used tampax hit the city of london at 100 ,000 mph what would be the coefficent of linear expansion of london bridge and how much steam would be generated from the thames ...

ohhhh happy days ...

it would make a bloody mess, thats for sure!

not the technical reply required ...see me after ....!!!!!"

A 500kg tampax comet would burn up in the atmosphere, and think as far as i can tell it wouldn't be able to archive a velocity of more than 5ooomph in the outer atmosphere.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"of course it varies, but how would you describe it?

okay if thats too hard, describe one that you did like lol

well i did have an interior decorator once who had a great ..eye didnt like her taste in furniture or white goods tho ....but she was ok ...i suppose

that question too hard for you to answer? lmao

i thought my answer was a little subjective perhaps but did meet the needs of the question ...and was better than your bum beard question ...your improving ...your talent has no bounds

hmmmm well when left with topics going over and over it takes talent to come up with useless drivel...glad you noticed lol

i have to say you are the best and it ranks alongside those classics such as ..if a 500kg comet made of used tampax hit the city of london at 100 ,000 mph what would be the coefficent of linear expansion of london bridge and how much steam would be generated from the thames ...

ohhhh happy days ...

it would make a bloody mess, thats for sure!

not the technical reply required ...see me after ....!!!!!

A 500kg tampax comet would burn up in the atmosphere, and think as far as i can tell it wouldn't be able to archive a velocity of more than 5ooomph in the outer atmosphere."

It took a man to figure that one out ...!!!!!!

well done gold star and moved up to next group ...

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"of course it varies, but how would you describe it?

okay if thats too hard, describe one that you did like lol

well i did have an interior decorator once who had a great ..eye didnt like her taste in furniture or white goods tho ....but she was ok ...i suppose

There are groups now? So what am i moving in to then?

that question too hard for you to answer? lmao

i thought my answer was a little subjective perhaps but did meet the needs of the question ...and was better than your bum beard question ...your improving ...your talent has no bounds

hmmmm well when left with topics going over and over it takes talent to come up with useless drivel...glad you noticed lol

i have to say you are the best and it ranks alongside those classics such as ..if a 500kg comet made of used tampax hit the city of london at 100 ,000 mph what would be the coefficent of linear expansion of london bridge and how much steam would be generated from the thames ...

ohhhh happy days ...

it would make a bloody mess, thats for sure!

not the technical reply required ...see me after ....!!!!!

A 500kg tampax comet would burn up in the atmosphere, and think as far as i can tell it wouldn't be able to archive a velocity of more than 5ooomph in the outer atmosphere.

It took a man to figure that one out ...!!!!!!

well done gold star and moved up to next group ..."

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"of course it varies, but how would you describe it?

okay if thats too hard, describe one that you did like lol

well i did have an interior decorator once who had a great ..eye didnt like her taste in furniture or white goods tho ....but she was ok ...i suppose

There are groups now? So what am i moving in to then?

that question too hard for you to answer? lmao

i thought my answer was a little subjective perhaps but did meet the needs of the question ...and was better than your bum beard question ...your improving ...your talent has no bounds

hmmmm well when left with topics going over and over it takes talent to come up with useless drivel...glad you noticed lol

i have to say you are the best and it ranks alongside those classics such as ..if a 500kg comet made of used tampax hit the city of london at 100 ,000 mph what would be the coefficent of linear expansion of london bridge and how much steam would be generated from the thames ...

ohhhh happy days ...

it would make a bloody mess, thats for sure!

not the technical reply required ...see me after ....!!!!!

A 500kg tampax comet would burn up in the atmosphere, and think as far as i can tell it wouldn't be able to archive a velocity of more than 5ooomph in the outer atmosphere.

It took a man to figure that one out ...!!!!!!

well done gold star and moved up to next group ..."

oops that was in quotes ....so about thiese tiles ...pmsl

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone

Im going to have a look at said tiles as some real nice marble ones, fancy a new kitchen floor. I may post a pic if i think they are particularly nice.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"Im going to have a look at said tiles as some real nice marble ones, fancy a new kitchen floor. I may post a pic if i think they are particularly nice."

i get it now ...so thats what they mean by out on the tiles ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just make do with what ive got as bottle necks are no problem then lol

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone

Its not dignified for a bloke to sit on a wine bottle mate, will give ya piles.

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By *ragon1Woman
over a year ago

Chesterfield

your all nuts!!! lmfao

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"your all nuts!!! lmfao"

Im not going to start measuring nuts! mind if anyone knows how you do it.

If you have big nuts does it mean anything?

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By *ragon1Woman
over a year ago

Chesterfield


"your all nuts!!! lmfao

Im not going to start measuring nuts! mind if anyone knows how you do it.

If you have big nuts does it mean anything?"

depends... guess if you are a squirrel it means you won't go hungry

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"your all nuts!!! lmfao

Im not going to start measuring nuts! mind if anyone knows how you do it.

If you have big nuts does it mean anything?

depends... guess if you are a squirrel it means you won't go hungry "

you shouldn't put that here as some bloke will go in depth about how he gets off shoving his nuts in holes in trees!

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By *ragon1Woman
over a year ago

Chesterfield


"

depends... guess if you are a squirrel it means you won't go hungry

you shouldn't put that here as some bloke will go in depth about how he gets off shoving his nuts in holes in trees!"

LMFAO!!! *watches and waits...... I am always up for a good laugh*

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Okay.... I finally took the plunge and measured it...

it started in newcastle and ended in darlington..... thats 25 minutes in the toilet of a train i am never getting back...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay.... I finally took the plunge and measured it...

it started in newcastle and ended in darlington..... thats 25 minutes in the toilet of a train i am never getting back... "

did the toilet have a carpet, and if so, did it reach the walls ?

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By *resh freddie OP   Man
over a year ago

Penistone


"Okay.... I finally took the plunge and measured it...

it started in newcastle and ended in darlington..... thats 25 minutes in the toilet of a train i am never getting back... "

Chuff you will pass out with lack of blood if you get wood!

Hang on a min you hid in the toilet for 25 mins! Be honest did you really buy a ticket!!!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

How about hands, as in measuring, like for horses? mines two of mine, or two and a half of hers. Another tip... get her to measure it, I find that when a woman touches mine, it seems to get bigger, not by much, but enough to make a diference.

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