Dear wife, I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for ever. I've been a good man to you for 7yrs & I have nothing to show for it. Those last 2 weeks have been hell...your boss called to tell me you quit your job today & that was the last straw last week, you came home & didn't even notice i had a new haircut, had cooked your favourite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife, either your cheating on me or you dont love me anymore, what ever the case, I'm gone. Your ex-husand p.s dont try to find me. Your sister & I are moving away to west viginia together! Have a great life!
Dear ex-husband, nothing has made my day more than receving your letter. Its true you & I have been married for 7yrs, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whinging & griping! I did notice when you had a haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was you just look like a girl! Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you cant say somthing nice, I din't comment, and when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my sister, because I stopped eating pork 7yrs ago. About those new silk boxers, I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them & I prayed it was a coincidence that my SISTER had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work things out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollors, I quit my job & bought 2 tickets to jamaica but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted, my lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care, signed; your ex-wife rich as hell and free! P.s I dont know if I ever told you this, but my sister carla was born as carl, I hope thats not a problem.
|
"
