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Negatives

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

The forum goes in cycles.

It's been meaner and kinder at times.

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By *eanutButterJellyTimeCouple
over a year ago

the middle of the world

It does seem to be particularly negative at the moment.

Maybe it was a full moon recently...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's overly negative but there are certainly less funnies around to lighten the mood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not all of us are and I'm fed up of seeing it happening! Don't see why people feel the need to act this way, meant to be adults and acting like children! Some people really need to get a grip and know they're not all that.

When someone posts something on here, I don't comment on it to put them down or make them feel shit! Yet so many think it's acceptable. When people put, what some call, the attention posts, I don't even bother commenting on them... Some people can't seem to say anything nice, unless it's people they know.

So many times I've seen this happen, in here and in the chatrooms. In the chatroom I have opened my mouth and told people what i think of their supposed adult behaviour... I'm yet to do it in the forum, as seemed to get banned for defending, but I will in time as I've been close. Sometimes enough is enough. It's pettiness and bullying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I enjoy the forums and when people start being nasty to others or start belittling them for their lifestyle choices I usually look at their profile and if they are near us make a note that they are not for us, so use it as a tool to help decide who we would like to meet.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"It does seem to be particularly negative at the moment.

Maybe it was a full moon recently... "

It was on Tuesday/Wednesday this week.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?"

Not this one, but some of the questions on here look pretty stupid and sometimes reek of desperation, so people might be tired of it. That's just a guess.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

After 9 yrs on here, I tend to avoid the negative threads and have a laugh anyway

P.s. Why can't I get a meet with a timewaster

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By *moothies.Couple
over a year ago

Woodthorpe


"After 9 yrs on here, I tend to avoid the negative threads and have a laugh anyway

P.s. Why can't I get a meet with a timewaster "

I agree some things are not worth getting involved in on here. A jolly banter and an occasional virtual hug are enough for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A controversial sniping argumentative thread will always attract far more people than a lovey thread,that is the way of the Internet,people love a bust up

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

This is strangely put the 'where is the love' song in my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The vultures were circling around some poor singles yesterday. Must be the time of year. I wonder if people feel happier towards Xmas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always try to keep my posting positive and fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?"

Theres a large number of people on here who seem to want to make themeselves feel better by sniping bitching picking and criticizing at every oppertunity thats been said before but the ones doing it will probably come in this thread denying it happens and telling you its your imagination or your over sensitive sadly every forum has keyboard warriors.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I don't post very often any more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this becoming a thread being negative about how negative the forum is at the moment?

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

There is a lot who just go into the threads to be negative if i see a thread and its not for me i just move on

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

I saw one recently where people were slating someone for a McDonald's meet and asking where he could go for a dabble.. Some of the responses were awful.

But there has been some nice ones recently. I've only been here about a year so wlll report back next year

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

The forum is a great filter

I use the notes too, but just cherry pick. Ignore those that behave above themselves or that don't appeal

There are a few gems about

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is this becoming a thread being negative about how negative the forum is at the moment? "

Oops you caught me!

I do wonder sometimes though! I got a random message last night calling me a dick head! Now if I was 12 I'd be really upset

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"The forum is a great filter

I use the notes too, but just cherry pick. Ignore those that behave above themselves or that don't appeal

There are a few gems about "

Exactly this! The forums are a great way to get a feel for people and their personalities. I post in the stuff that interests me and I figure if I've nothing nice to say then I won't bother. However, that's not to say I won't ask a question or be a bit sarcastic on occasion but by the same token, I'd never be nasty to anyone. My humour is unlikely to be taken the wrong way but if it is then I'm happy to apologise if it's been read wrong. I don't speak to people any differently in real life and I've a habit of sticking up for those who are being picked on.

There are times when folks do themselves no favours though and I do have to bite my tongue but I do that because I treat people the way I expect to be treated and just because you're in cyberspace, there's no excuse for being rude. I don't know the fragility of someone's mental state and whilst it is just words on a screen, it can be hurtful when people are mean and some do take it personally.

I consider my posts and I think we all should. Especially when new people arrive. New faces and opinions are what makes the forum interesting and that's why I stick around.

Be kind, give the benefit of the doubt now and then and don't say black instead of white just for the hell of it. By all means, have an opinion and stick to it if that's what you believe but there's no shame in changing your opinion when you learn something new. Be decent to yourself and to others. It's not hard. Don't follow the crowd because you're afraid of being different. Speak up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The forum is a great filter

I use the notes too, but just cherry pick. Ignore those that behave above themselves or that don't appeal

There are a few gems about

Exactly this! The forums are a great way to get a feel for people and their personalities. I post in the stuff that interests me and I figure if I've nothing nice to say then I won't bother. However, that's not to say I won't ask a question or be a bit sarcastic on occasion but by the same token, I'd never be nasty to anyone. My humour is unlikely to be taken the wrong way but if it is then I'm happy to apologise if it's been read wrong. I don't speak to people any differently in real life and I've a habit of sticking up for those who are being picked on.

There are times when folks do themselves no favours though and I do have to bite my tongue but I do that because I treat people the way I expect to be treated and just because you're in cyberspace, there's no excuse for being rude. I don't know the fragility of someone's mental state and whilst it is just words on a screen, it can be hurtful when people are mean and some do take it personally.

I consider my posts and I think we all should. Especially when new people arrive. New faces and opinions are what makes the forum interesting and that's why I stick around.

Be kind, give the benefit of the doubt now and then and don't say black instead of white just for the hell of it. By all means, have an opinion and stick to it if that's what you believe but there's no shame in changing your opinion when you learn something new. Be decent to yourself and to others. It's not hard. Don't follow the crowd because you're afraid of being different. Speak up. "

Sage advice, reads a little like the desiderata

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What we need are more snog, marry, avoid type threads

I haven't seen one for at least two hours

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Sage advice, reads a little like the desiderata "

I had to go and look that up... what a lovely thing to say.

For anyone else who hasn't read it...

"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Maybe it's the lunar cycle as some have said but my 'happy' thread has got 9 posts and my negative thread 22. Just saying...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sage advice, reads a little like the desiderata

I had to go and look that up... what a lovely thing to say.

For anyone else who hasn't read it...

"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata""

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think it's overly negative but there are certainly less funnies around to lighten the mood."

I can't be everywhere

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sage advice, reads a little like the desiderata

I had to go and look that up... what a lovely thing to say.

For anyone else who hasn't read it...

"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata""

I love it, the last line echoes in my head so often. It helped me through my break up and it makes me emotional just reading it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity. "

Yes I saw

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

Don't get involved. Life's too short. Just make a quick, impartial comment...then observe.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Oh, the Places You'll Go (at Burning Man!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIwE-ECjbx8

Apropos, as I was reading this last night to my daughter...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe it's the lunar cycle as some have said but my 'happy' thread has got 9 posts and my negative thread 22. Just saying..."

Negative appears to attract more posters than positive posts and even those can turn sour, nature of the beast me thinks.

I've noticed in recent months that are more people who can't let things go, constantly hammering away to get a point across, nit picking & generally wanting the last word. Whilst that's all good in a debating team for me in a forum thread it becomes rather tedious, boring & at times a wee bit off putting, especially when there's more than one at it in a thread.

It's meant to be fun & when it's not I've learnt to walk away!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, the Places You'll Go (at Burning Man!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIwE-ECjbx8

Apropos, as I was reading this last night to my daughter..."

I read this to my boys. It's fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this becoming a thread being negative about how negative the forum is at the moment?

Oops you caught me!

I do wonder sometimes though! I got a random message last night calling me a dick head! Now if I was 12 I'd be really upset "

I get my retaliation in first...I just call myself a twat and others don't seem to bother disagreeing

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Sorry, been a bit sad lately. I'll try harder to be cheerful for ya.

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury


"Maybe it's the lunar cycle as some have said but my 'happy' thread has got 9 posts and my negative thread 22. Just saying..."

Ah but there's a lot of positives on your negative thread...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe it's the lunar cycle as some have said but my 'happy' thread has got 9 posts and my negative thread 22. Just saying...

Ah but there's a lot of positives on your negative thread... "

Yes, I did notice

Such a lovely morning. Woken up to the sound of children playing and I'm now making bacon sandwiches.

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity. "

Can't find it- has it gone?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity.

Can't find it- has it gone? "
nope, still there

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By *ames6ft5Man
over a year ago

North London / Herts

If it helps I read everything with a smile on my face . I post very rarely but read most threads. I just always think - aren't we all lucky folks? Whatever you are here for (and I know people are looking for some very very very different things), it's just for shits and giggles.

So when you read a post that profoundly disturbs you or offends you, give your best smile and try the next thread down. If you can't and it's in your nature to wade in then try holding a smile as you do it.

Happy Halloween.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"If it helps I read everything with a smile on my face . I post very rarely but read most threads. I just always think - aren't we all lucky folks? Whatever you are here for (and I know people are looking for some very very very different things), it's just for shits and giggles.

So when you read a post that profoundly disturbs you or offends you, give your best smile and try the next thread down. If you can't and it's in your nature to wade in then try holding a smile as you do it.

Happy Halloween. "

And this is an attractive attitude!

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity.

Can't find it- has it gone? nope, still there"

Found it.

Jeeeeeeeeesus

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?"

On a positive note, I like to think many of the busy threads are because there are an equal number of people arguing against the negativity. Then the happy, slow threads simply drop off the bottom in the melee.

Maybe we should push for an 'angry' room, whither all those threads could quietly be shunted.

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity.

Can't find it- has it gone? nope, still there

Found it.

Jeeeeeeeeesus "

Kinda makes my point!

I feel sad for the poor guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?

Not this one, but some of the questions on here look pretty stupid and sometimes reek of desperation, so people might be tired of it. That's just a guess."

This! The constant threads like-

"Why is my 1 line single male profile not flooded with clunge"

"Do women like bi men?"

Use the bloody search feature ffs!

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity.

Can't find it- has it gone? nope, still there

Found it.

Jeeeeeeeeesus

Kinda makes my point!

I feel sad for the poor guy"

It's tricky because we're all entitled to an opinion and just because people disagree, do you stop the discussion? We're all so different and we all do things differently so who decides who's right and who's wrong? Provided we're abiding by the rules, there's nothing wrong with having an opposing opinion.

I do think overall that it's nice to be nice though but I'm a softie at heart.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?

Not this one, but some of the questions on here look pretty stupid and sometimes reek of desperation, so people might be tired of it. That's just a guess.

This! The constant threads like-

"Why is my 1 line single male profile not flooded with clunge"

"Do women like bi men?"

Use the bloody search feature ffs! "

Clunge!

Sounds like something a Plummer does

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity. "

That thread is shocking

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity.

Can't find it- has it gone? nope, still there

Found it.

Jeeeeeeeeesus

Kinda makes my point!

I feel sad for the poor guy

It's tricky because we're all entitled to an opinion and just because people disagree, do you stop the discussion? We're all so different and we all do things differently so who decides who's right and who's wrong? Provided we're abiding by the rules, there's nothing wrong with having an opposing opinion.

I do think overall that it's nice to be nice though but I'm a softie at heart. "

I do get that. It's not possible nor desirable to police the internet and you can't make people 'play nice' I guess it just saddens me to see people acting like sharks when there's chum in the water

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity.

Can't find it- has it gone? nope, still there

Found it.

Jeeeeeeeeesus

Kinda makes my point!

I feel sad for the poor guy

It's tricky because we're all entitled to an opinion and just because people disagree, do you stop the discussion? We're all so different and we all do things differently so who decides who's right and who's wrong? Provided we're abiding by the rules, there's nothing wrong with having an opposing opinion.

I do think overall that it's nice to be nice though but I'm a softie at heart. "

I think as long as the lady the thread was about was happy to be named in it, then it was a lovely post.

If she hadn't been, then I think it should have been removed for both the OP's and her sakes.

Luckily, she did like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sage advice, reads a little like the desiderata

I had to go and look that up... what a lovely thing to say.

For anyone else who hasn't read it...

"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata""

One of my most favourite pieces of prose.

I read it at my father's funeral. But only just.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity.

Can't find it- has it gone? nope, still there

Found it.

Jeeeeeeeeesus

Kinda makes my point!

I feel sad for the poor guy

It's tricky because we're all entitled to an opinion and just because people disagree, do you stop the discussion? We're all so different and we all do things differently so who decides who's right and who's wrong? Provided we're abiding by the rules, there's nothing wrong with having an opposing opinion.

I do think overall that it's nice to be nice though but I'm a softie at heart.

I do get that. It's not possible nor desirable to police the internet and you can't make people 'play nice' I guess it just saddens me to see people acting like sharks when there's chum in the water"

To be fair to the sharks, a lot of the chums don't help themselves. How many times have you see a "what's wrong with my profile" thread where the profile in question is pathetic, people reply with helpful comments that just get ignored because the person ifs really using the thread as a lazy way to get attention...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity. "

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity.

Can't find it- has it gone? nope, still there

Found it.

Jeeeeeeeeesus

Kinda makes my point!

I feel sad for the poor guy

It's tricky because we're all entitled to an opinion and just because people disagree, do you stop the discussion? We're all so different and we all do things differently so who decides who's right and who's wrong? Provided we're abiding by the rules, there's nothing wrong with having an opposing opinion.

I do think overall that it's nice to be nice though but I'm a softie at heart.

I do get that. It's not possible nor desirable to police the internet and you can't make people 'play nice' I guess it just saddens me to see people acting like sharks when there's chum in the water

To be fair to the sharks, a lot of the chums don't help themselves. How many times have you see a "what's wrong with my profile" thread where the profile in question is pathetic, people reply with helpful comments that just get ignored because the person ifs really using the thread as a lazy way to get attention... "

I do get that, I get bored and frustrated with the whines and moans after the 'nth' time. But its also true that often someone is jumped all over for little to no reason, sometimes just for being the wrong sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity.

That thread is shocking "

How did it turn negative? I read it, when it was first posted and thought... I don't know them, so no need to comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity.

Can't find it- has it gone? nope, still there

Found it.

Jeeeeeeeeesus

Kinda makes my point!

I feel sad for the poor guy

It's tricky because we're all entitled to an opinion and just because people disagree, do you stop the discussion? We're all so different and we all do things differently so who decides who's right and who's wrong? Provided we're abiding by the rules, there's nothing wrong with having an opposing opinion.

I do think overall that it's nice to be nice though but I'm a softie at heart.

I do get that. It's not possible nor desirable to police the internet and you can't make people 'play nice' I guess it just saddens me to see people acting like sharks when there's chum in the water

To be fair to the sharks, a lot of the chums don't help themselves. How many times have you see a "what's wrong with my profile" thread where the profile in question is pathetic, people reply with helpful comments that just get ignored because the person ifs really using the thread as a lazy way to get attention...

I do get that, I get bored and frustrated with the whines and moans after the 'nth' time. But its also true that often someone is jumped all over for little to no reason, sometimes just for being the wrong sex. "

That last point is very true and one of the more frustrating things about the forum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity.

Can't find it- has it gone? nope, still there

Found it.

Jeeeeeeeeesus

Kinda makes my point!

I feel sad for the poor guy

It's tricky because we're all entitled to an opinion and just because people disagree, do you stop the discussion? We're all so different and we all do things differently so who decides who's right and who's wrong? Provided we're abiding by the rules, there's nothing wrong with having an opposing opinion.

I do think overall that it's nice to be nice though but I'm a softie at heart. "

There's nothing wrong with having opposing opinions that's what makes a forum work but people still manage to be rude, dismissive & downright mean even within the rules.

We are all different & threads like the 'innocence' one proves that time & time again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No not all of us are and I'm fed up of seeing it happening! Don't see why people feel the need to act this way, meant to be adults and acting like children! Some people really need to get a grip and know they're not all that.

When someone posts something on here, I don't comment on it to put them down or make them feel shit! Yet so many think it's acceptable. When people put, what some call, the attention posts, I don't even bother commenting on them... Some people can't seem to say anything nice, unless it's people they know.

So many times I've seen this happen, in here and in the chatrooms. In the chatroom I have opened my mouth and told people what i think of their supposed adult behaviour... I'm yet to do it in the forum, as seemed to get banned for defending, but I will in time as I've been close. Sometimes enough is enough. It's pettiness and bullying. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The vultures were circling around some poor singles yesterday. Must be the time of year. I wonder if people feel happier towards Xmas. "

Oh? Glad I wasn't online much then!

I get nervous when the vultures circle me! They might pinch my chocolate!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The vultures were circling around some poor singles yesterday. Must be the time of year. I wonder if people feel happier towards Xmas.

Oh? Glad I wasn't online much then!

I get nervous when the vultures circle me! They might pinch my chocolate!! "

If people are pinching things idve thought your chocolates would be the last thing on your mind, especially with a bum like yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Look at the 'thank you innocence' thread if you want negativity.

Can't find it- has it gone? nope, still there

Found it.

Jeeeeeeeeesus

Kinda makes my point!

I feel sad for the poor guy

It's tricky because we're all entitled to an opinion and just because people disagree, do you stop the discussion? We're all so different and we all do things differently so who decides who's right and who's wrong? Provided we're abiding by the rules, there's nothing wrong with having an opposing opinion.

I do think overall that it's nice to be nice though but I'm a softie at heart.

There's nothing wrong with having opposing opinions that's what makes a forum work but people still manage to be rude, dismissive & downright mean even within the rules.

We are all different & threads like the 'innocence' one proves that time & time again."

Having a difference of opinion, is completely different to making snide, hurtful comments on what people say. Having difference of opinion is way of life, just not many seem to accept that others can have a different opinion, so start being aggressive towards them.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"

There's nothing wrong with having opposing opinions that's what makes a forum work but people still manage to be rude, dismissive & downright mean even within the rules.

We are all different & threads like the 'innocence' one proves that time & time again."

Sadly that's exactly the case. Trying to keep things balanced doesn't always work.

I remember when I joined in the forums way back when and one of the long time regulars made a comment about how jaded she was having been around a while and it stuck with me. I didn't want to be like that. There's nothing attractive about negativity. It's hard always to remain positive but it is possible just to say nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?"

I really don't like to make people feel any of those. Why can't it be a happy positive place 90% of the time.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

people thrive on drama............

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?

I really don't like to make people feel any of those. Why can't it be a happy positive place 90% of the time. "

That's what I think! I posted a thread after a really good positive day that got zero responses. It made me question peoples votivation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people prefer to put others down but there is positivity on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The vultures were circling around some poor singles yesterday. Must be the time of year. I wonder if people feel happier towards Xmas.

Oh? Glad I wasn't online much then!

I get nervous when the vultures circle me! They might pinch my chocolate!! "

Don't know about chocolate but there was certainly some jam missing from people's doughnuts bless them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Some people prefer to put others down but there is positivity on here. "

I know, I'm trying to stay on the bright side x

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"The vultures were circling around some poor singles yesterday. Must be the time of year. I wonder if people feel happier towards Xmas.

Oh? Glad I wasn't online much then!

I get nervous when the vultures circle me! They might pinch my chocolate!!

Don't know about chocolate but there was certainly some jam missing from people's doughnuts bless them. "

It usually ends up right down my cleavage!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"people thrive on drama............"

This and that is a sad state of affairs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?

I really don't like to make people feel any of those. Why can't it be a happy positive place 90% of the time.

That's what I think! I posted a thread after a really good positive day that got zero responses. It made me question peoples votivation"

Nought queer as folk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?

Not this one, but some of the questions on here look pretty stupid and sometimes reek of desperation, so people might be tired of it. That's just a guess."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?

I really don't like to make people feel any of those. Why can't it be a happy positive place 90% of the time.

That's what I think! I posted a thread after a really good positive day that got zero responses. It made me question peoples votivation

Nought queer as folk "

Nothing has taught me that more than fab x

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?

I really don't like to make people feel any of those. Why can't it be a happy positive place 90% of the time.

That's what I think! I posted a thread after a really good positive day that got zero responses. It made me question peoples votivation"

It got quite a few responses, if its the one I'm thinking about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The cynics thrive on the optimists and the optimists thrive on the cynics.

And the cycle continues.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"The cynics thrive on the optimists and the optimists thrive on the cynics.

And the cycle continues.

"

What about the cynical optimistics?!

Do they thrive on the pessimists?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"The cynics thrive on the optimists and the optimists thrive on the cynics.

And the cycle continues.

What about the cynical optimistics?!

Do they thrive on the pessimists? "

I'm a cynical optical illusion if it's any help

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"The cynics thrive on the optimists and the optimists thrive on the cynics.

And the cycle continues.

What about the cynical optimistics?!

Do they thrive on the pessimists? "

No, the cynical optimists are realists who take things with a pinch of salt, try not to be mean, have occasional eyerolls (real ones not emoticon ones) and attempt to play devil's advocate because they can see both sides of an argument even if they agree with one side more than another.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"The cynics thrive on the optimists and the optimists thrive on the cynics.

And the cycle continues.

What about the cynical optimistics?!

Do they thrive on the pessimists?

No, the cynical optimists are realists who take things with a pinch of salt, try not to be mean, have occasional eyerolls (real ones not emoticon ones) and attempt to play devil's advocate because they can see both sides of an argument even if they agree with one side more than another."

Phew! Thank you clever lady!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" But its also true that often someone is jumped all over for little to no reason, sometimes just for being the wrong sex. "

Compare the innocence thread with 'fab wedding' and go figure the difference in responses...

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I tend to drop into a thread...make some inane, nearly funny comment and disappear.

Sometimes it lightens the mood, but usually it gets steamrollered over or ignored.

Shame...sometimes I am in Topfooling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" But its also true that often someone is jumped all over for little to no reason, sometimes just for being the wrong sex.

Compare the innocence thread with 'fab wedding' and go figure the difference in responses... "

Not really the same though is it? Who is going to piss over a wedding?

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"The cynics thrive on the optimists and the optimists thrive on the cynics.

And the cycle continues.

What about the cynical optimistics?!

Do they thrive on the pessimists?

No, the cynical optimists are realists who take things with a pinch of salt, try not to be mean, have occasional eyerolls (real ones not emoticon ones) and attempt to play devil's advocate because they can see both sides of an argument even if they agree with one side more than another.

Phew! Thank you clever lady! "

I'm just one of those cynical optimists who watches threads go feral with a sense of vague diappointment.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"people thrive on drama............"

Some more than others....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" But its also true that often someone is jumped all over for little to no reason, sometimes just for being the wrong sex.

Compare the innocence thread with 'fab wedding' and go figure the difference in responses... "

I can't find the innocence one. Must have been removed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" But its also true that often someone is jumped all over for little to no reason, sometimes just for being the wrong sex.

Compare the innocence thread with 'fab wedding' and go figure the difference in responses...

I can't find the innocence one. Must have been removed? "

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/440762

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" But its also true that often someone is jumped all over for little to no reason, sometimes just for being the wrong sex.

Compare the innocence thread with 'fab wedding' and go figure the difference in responses...

I can't find the innocence one. Must have been removed? "

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/440762

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" But its also true that often someone is jumped all over for little to no reason, sometimes just for being the wrong sex.

Compare the innocence thread with 'fab wedding' and go figure the difference in responses...

I can't find the innocence one. Must have been removed?

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/440762"

Doh! Beat me to it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" But its also true that often someone is jumped all over for little to no reason, sometimes just for being the wrong sex.

Compare the innocence thread with 'fab wedding' and go figure the difference in responses...

I can't find the innocence one. Must have been removed?

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/440762

Doh! Beat me to it! "

Pew pew!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/10/15 12:53:53]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

the difference is the OP's gender and the first few replies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"the difference is the OP's gender and the first few replies"

Bingo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" But its also true that often someone is jumped all over for little to no reason, sometimes just for being the wrong sex.

Compare the innocence thread with 'fab wedding' and go figure the difference in responses...

Not really the same though is it? Who is going to piss over a wedding?"

2 people are both very happy that they or someone close to them has met someone on fab and something great happened... what's the difference?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" But its also true that often someone is jumped all over for little to no reason, sometimes just for being the wrong sex.

Compare the innocence thread with 'fab wedding' and go figure the difference in responses...

I can't find the innocence one. Must have been removed?

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/440762"

I found it, just wasn't bringing up doing a search for some reason.

Well that pretty much turned negative straight away. A man can't publicly state his gratitude towards someone else, without it being torn to shreds. See plenty posts from "regulars" in here saying nice things about other members, rarely see any negativity on those ones.

Why people can't just read something and not bother commenting, if they're just going to put something snide/rude/bitter, is beyond me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly its pathetic

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"the difference is the OP's gender and the first few replies"

Actually I didn't look at the gender.

I read the first as a very public private message.

A wedding announcement is a different thing to me.

I'm not saying it's wrong to post either, but there is a difference and for me, it wasn't the sex of the OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"the difference is the OP's gender and the first few replies

Actually I didn't look at the gender.

I read the first as a very public private message.

A wedding announcement is a different thing to me.

I'm not saying it's wrong to post either, but there is a difference and for me, it wasn't the sex of the OP. "

No, no, it MUST be about gender.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?"
Yes, but no.

It still is a small minority that does that, when you look at the sheer numbers of the negative people who make great effort to try and put other people down. In my opinon.

However, there are a few, repetitive voices among them. And yes, at times you do see a bit of 'PC Brigade' ganging up. Sometimes they may only be consisting of two people, but they can be ever so "loud" and repetitive.

How I cope with it it?

a. Imagining what issues they have to make them be so attacking online.

b. Focus on the more humourous Forumites, those that really know how to get sense of humour out in writing and sometimes tease with words over extreme things other people write,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a lurker mainly because I don't want to be shot down in flames by some people on here who can give off the impression they are far superior than others when making comments on some threads, then you get some people joining the band wagon it can come across as quite bitchy at times on here......... I'm off to lurk again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a lurker mainly because I don't want to be shot down in flames by some people on here who can give off the impression they are far superior than others when making comments on some threads, then you get some people joining the band wagon it can come across as quite bitchy at times on here......... I'm off to lurk again"

Shouldn't have to be like that though, no one is more superior on this site, whether they feel it or not! Like I keep saying, these people are meant to be adults, don't like something you read then fair enough, no need to get on your high horse about it Meant to be accepting of all on here....yeah right!

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury


"the difference is the OP's gender and the first few replies

Actually I didn't look at the gender.

I read the first as a very public private message.

A wedding announcement is a different thing to me.

I'm not saying it's wrong to post either, but there is a difference and for me, it wasn't the sex of the OP.

No, no, it MUST be about gender."

Does it matter it was a public private message?

Is he not allowed to say what he thought publicly without being torn a new one?

To me it just seemed a nice gesture but then my pint is always half full

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I'm a lurker mainly because I don't want to be shot down in flames by some people on here who can give off the impression they are far superior than others when making comments on some threads, then you get some people joining the band wagon it can come across as quite bitchy at times on here......... I'm off to lurk again

Shouldn't have to be like that though, no one is more superior on this site, whether they feel it or not! Like I keep saying, these people are meant to be adults, don't like something you read then fair enough, no need to get on your high horse about it Meant to be accepting of all on here....yeah right!"

Totally agree with this! We're all equals here regardless of who we think we are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Totally agree with this! We're all equals here regardless of who we think we are. "
DirtyGirl, may I ask, are you also a Forum Moderator?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?

Not this one, but some of the questions on here look pretty stupid and sometimes reek of desperation, so people might be tired of it. That's just a guess. "

If people are tired of reading the same old stupid,boring stuff why do they keep commenting on it? Surely they would be better to ignore or stop using the forums and get some sex or something. Or,and this is a bit controversial,start their own really interesting and unique threads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The cynics thrive on the optimists and the optimists thrive on the cynics.

And the cycle continues.

What about the cynical optimistics?!

Do they thrive on the pessimists?

I'm a cynical optical illusion if it's any help "

No you're not, I can clearly see you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If people are tired of reading the same old stupid, boring stuff why do they keep commenting on it? Surely they would be better to ignore or stop using the forums and get some sex ..."
That's an outrageous suggestion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The cynics thrive on the optimists and the optimists thrive on the cynics.

And the cycle continues.

"

And what about the realists?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If people are tired of reading the same old stupid, boring stuff why do they keep commenting on it? Surely they would be better to ignore or stop using the forums and get some sex ...That's an outrageous suggestion! "

I'll even go as far as to offer my services

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


" Totally agree with this! We're all equals here regardless of who we think we are. DirtyGirl, may I ask, are you also a Forum Moderator?"

I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The cynics thrive on the optimists and the optimists thrive on the cynics.

And the cycle continues.

And what about the realists? "

They say things like "the cynics thrive on the optimists and the optimists thrive on the cynics".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The cynics thrive on the optimists and the optimists thrive on the cynics.

And the cycle continues.

And what about the realists?

They say things like "the cynics thrive on the optimists and the optimists thrive on the cynics"."

We need our own clique name

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/10/15 14:00:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?"
I'm interested in making people feel good through humour but sometimes people don't have a sense of humour so they end up feeling bad heyho what can you do ,as the Italians say you can't please alla da people alla da time hugs

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London


" But its also true that often someone is jumped all over for little to no reason, sometimes just for being the wrong sex.

Compare the innocence thread with 'fab wedding' and go figure the difference in responses...

Not really the same though is it? Who is going to piss over a wedding?"

I wonder if anyone from Fab has been pissed on at a wedding?

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?"

There are some threads which bring out the worst in some people:

Married men

Weight

BBC

TV/TS

Bisexual men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?

There are some threads which bring out the worst in some people:

Married men

Weight

BBC

TV/TS

Bisexual men

"
or the Fucking the best friends pregnant wife

Or the using the sisters laptop and watching her sexy vids threads hugs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Totally agree with this! We're all equals here regardless of who we think we are.

DirtyGirl, may I ask, are you also a Forum Moderator?

I am. "
It must have been sad to see how inflammatory the 'Thankyou Innocent' thread developed after you replied to the phrase "You can just pm stuff you know" with a thumbs up Emoticon.

I've only been using the forums about a year but you seem extremely active in many threads. It must be easy to sway other people's opinons being in your position.

Poor OP in that thread.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?

There are some threads which bring out the worst in some people:

Married men

Weight

BBC

TV/TS

Bisexual men

or the Fucking the best friends pregnant wife

Or the using the sisters laptop and watching her sexy vids threads hugs "

I guess I am just too boring to find topics like that entertaining or funny

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


" Totally agree with this! We're all equals here regardless of who we think we are.

DirtyGirl, may I ask, are you also a Forum Moderator?

I am. It must have been sad to see how inflammatory the 'Thankyou Innocent' thread developed after you replied to the phrase "You can just pm stuff you know" with a thumbs up Emoticon.

I've only been using the forums about a year but you seem extremely active in many threads. It must be easy to sway other people's opinons being in your position.

Poor OP in that thread."

I posted in the 'innocent' thread an thought it was nice, I also posted in the 'wedding' thread and started my own 'Miss Innocent' good news thread and didn't know dirty girl was a mod until the other day.

For once, I'm innocent. And shall award myself a halo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After posting a positve thread to which no one posted , and a huge number of negative threads throve and grow I have to ask is fab becoming more and more negative? Are we more interested in putting people down or making them feel bad?"

I think it all started when I joined, so I will sod off and let you all get back to normal. BYE!

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


" Totally agree with this! We're all equals here regardless of who we think we are.

DirtyGirl, may I ask, are you also a Forum Moderator?

I am. It must have been sad to see how inflammatory the 'Thankyou Innocent' thread developed after you replied to the phrase "You can just pm stuff you know" with a thumbs up Emoticon.

I've only been using the forums about a year but you seem extremely active in many threads. It must be easy to sway other people's opinons being in your position.

Poor OP in that thread."

In my position? As a member of the forum you mean? Do you think I'm not allowed to be an active member of the community because I help out?

Like you, I'm allowed to have a _iew on whichever topic I choose to reply to. It's always sad to watch a thread descend into people being mean but my _iew is unlikely to influence anyone here given most were unaware that I'm a Mod.

I value discretion. The posts I made following my initial reaction in that thread state that quite clearly. I'm pretty sure people aren't following me round the forum like sheep. If they are then they really shouldn't. I can talk shit for Scotland.

Does that help?

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