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"And before you ask, yes this is another Fab Awards ceremony. Because i won fuck all in the last one." thats cuz ya wasnt ere  | |||
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"I know. And now i am here. And i want a trophy, gushing praise, and a picture of your fanny. In that order." . First two, no probs, last one, dream on! | |||
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"Has there been any nominations for the wooden spoon yet? "No, but we'll open a "kitchen utensil as sex toy" category forthwith. | |||
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"I know. And now i am here. And i want a trophy, gushing praise, and a picture of your fanny. In that order. . First two, no probs, last one, dream on! "Pffft. I've GOT a picture of your fanny. | |||
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"Pffft. I've GOT a picture of your fanny. " . Thought you were after femme's!  | |||
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"Has there been any nominations for the wooden spoon yet?
No, but we'll open a "kitchen utensil as sex toy" category forthwith."Bagsie the rolling pin rather than the tattie peeler!!  | |||
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"Can we have a "who still wears white socks?" category? "Yep. We'll stick that in our special humourous "irony" montage. Along with people who join looking for sex and find lurve... | |||
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"Can we have a "who still wears white socks?" category? "Or a " who wears white socks with nowt else" category? | |||
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"Has there been any nominations for the wooden spoon yet?
No, but we'll open a "kitchen utensil as sex toy" category forthwith.
Bagsie the rolling pin rather than the tattie peeler!! "Madam - modesty precludes me from making the 'fanny like a clowns pocket' jibe, i hardly know you. | |||
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"Can we have a "who still wears white socks?" category?
Or a " who wears white socks with nowt else" category?"I think we all know that the 'socks' category is "sewn up". Bahahaa. | |||
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"I know. And now i am here. And i want a trophy, gushing praise, and a picture of your fanny. In that order." Aaaah. Welcome back | |||
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"Has there been any nominations for the wooden spoon yet?
No, but we'll open a "kitchen utensil as sex toy" category forthwith.
Bagsie the rolling pin rather than the tattie peeler!!
Madam - modesty precludes me from making the 'fanny like a clowns pocket' jibe, i hardly know you."Ha! I like it to be a squeeze rather than scratchy! And from what I've read in that other thread, modesty is not your strong point!
Give it your best shot bozo! | |||
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"Give it your best shot bozo! " Are you by any chance, my ex-wife? | |||
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"Has there been any nominations for the wooden spoon yet?
No, but we'll open a "kitchen utensil as sex toy" category forthwith.
Bagsie the rolling pin rather than the tattie peeler!!
Madam - modesty precludes me from making the 'fanny like a clowns pocket' jibe, i hardly know you."oi! how come she gets a clowns pocket and i get wizards sleeve?! | |||
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"Give it your best shot bozo! Are you by any chance, my ex-wife?"
No... at least I don't think so. Mainly due to the fact that I've never been married but I'm sure I would have remembered the socks!
Bozo is a term of endearment in my world  | |||
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"Has there been any nominations for the wooden spoon yet?
No, but we'll open a "kitchen utensil as sex toy" category forthwith.
Bagsie the rolling pin rather than the tattie peeler!!
Madam - modesty precludes me from making the 'fanny like a clowns pocket' jibe, i hardly know you.
oi!
how come she gets a clowns pocket and i get wizards sleeve?!"Could've been worse. Could've been a'dragons nostril'. Not that I think that you've...........oh shit  | |||
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"Sod modesty. I'm nominating myself, Dan Hornster of the Clan McHornster, in the category of the 'New Category of Cum' category for my 'jizz lite' comment on the 'Pre-Cum' thread in Swingers Chat. Cos I'm quite proud of it "I've only been back a few hours and i caught 'jizz lite' (metaphorically) and liked it. Plus, nominating yourself shows just the kind of shameless self-promotion that works in these awards. Take a gong madam, you've won. | |||
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"Sod modesty. I'm nominating myself, Dan Hornster of the Clan McHornster, in the category of the 'New Category of Cum' category for my 'jizz lite' comment on the 'Pre-Cum' thread in Swingers Chat. Cos I'm quite proud of it
I've only been back a few hours and i caught 'jizz lite' (metaphorically) and liked it.
Plus, nominating yourself shows just the kind of shameless self-promotion that works in these awards.
Take a gong madam, you've won.
Huzzah!!!Medals,medals, medals [typed in a Muttley voice].
" | |||
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"well as always i'd win sod all lol " better than nothing | |||
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"Has there been any nominations for the wooden spoon yet?
No, but we'll open a "kitchen utensil as sex toy" category forthwith.
Bagsie the rolling pin rather than the tattie peeler!!
Madam - modesty precludes me from making the 'fanny like a clowns pocket' jibe, i hardly know you.
oi!
how come she gets a clowns pocket and i get wizards sleeve?!
Could've been worse. Could've been a'dragons nostril'. Not that I think that you've...........oh shit "And now you're going to be asked by the committe to split that gong with Dirtygirl for suggesting, albeit briefly, that the chilean miners would have got out twice as fast if the orifice had been as big..... | |||
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"Has there been any nominations for the wooden spoon yet?
No, but we'll open a "kitchen utensil as sex toy" category forthwith.
Bagsie the rolling pin rather than the tattie peeler!!
Madam - modesty precludes me from making the 'fanny like a clowns pocket' jibe, i hardly know you.
oi!
how come she gets a clowns pocket and i get wizards sleeve?!
Could've been worse. Could've been a'dragons nostril'. Not that I think that you've...........oh shit
And now you're going to be asked by the committe to split that gong with Dirtygirl for suggesting, albeit briefly, that the chilean miners would have got out twice as fast if the orifice had been as big.....
"Bugger!!! | |||
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"well as always i'd win sod all lol " Au contraire. The judging panel feels you have a strong chance of a gong in "best private pic"..... | |||
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"I love that word Bozo......can I use it too to go with my other favourtie word of bollocks please?" Course you can... tis all about sharing right?! 
*wiggles eyebrows* | |||
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"well as always i'd win sod all lol Au contraire. The judging panel feels you have a strong chance of a gong in "best private pic"....." see look ...told ya he was tricky!!!! | |||
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"well as always i'd win sod all lol Au contraire. The judging panel feels you have a strong chance of a gong in "best private pic".....see look ...told ya he was tricky!!!! "You've won my heart. What more do you want. (p.s - shurrup will ya - i've made two girls share an award & now am gonna suggest they "play nicely together" - think i'm in!!) | |||
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"i nominate myself for the "who can shave a mans sack n crack with a cut throat razor the quickest" category winner "Can I watch you practice? Oh... and can I nominate Sensual to volunteer?! | |||
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"i nominate myself for the "who can shave a mans sack n crack with a cut throat razor the quickest" category winner "Erm yeah... Technically, if he doesnt live through the process, the time is disallowed. | |||
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"i nominate myself for the "who can shave a mans sack n crack with a cut throat razor the quickest" category winner
Can I watch you practice?
Oh... and can I nominate Sensual to volunteer?! "well, i need to enter that comp as i shave a balloon once with a cut throat and didnt burst it...reckon i could take this one home! | |||
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"i nominate myself for the "who can shave a mans sack n crack with a cut throat razor the quickest" category winner
Can I watch you practice?
Oh... and can I nominate Sensual to volunteer?!
well, i need to enter that comp as i shave a balloon once with a cut throat and didnt burst it...reckon i could take this one home!"i shaved a blokes gonads n didnt burst them either | |||
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"i nominate myself for the "who can shave a mans sack n crack with a cut throat razor the quickest" category winner
Can I watch you practice?
Oh... and can I nominate Sensual to volunteer?!
well, i need to enter that comp as i shave a balloon once with a cut throat and didnt burst it...reckon i could take this one home!"Hmmm... I'd rather use wax! | |||
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"well as always i'd win sod all lol Au contraire. The judging panel feels you have a strong chance of a gong in "best private pic".....see look ...told ya he was tricky!!!! "Maybe - but still nothing in my inbox. Another year of award season disappointment for that contestant. | |||
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"i nominate myself for the "who can shave a mans sack n crack with a cut throat razor the quickest" category winner
Can I watch you practice?
Oh... and can I nominate Sensual to volunteer?!
well, i need to enter that comp as i shave a balloon once with a cut throat and didnt burst it...reckon i could take this one home!i shaved a blokes gonads n didnt burst them either "Hairy balloons??? I'm thinking Dragons Den. Theo looks like a man who would grab hairy balloons with both hands | |||
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"i nominate myself for the "who can shave a mans sack n crack with a cut throat razor the quickest" category winner
Erm yeah...
Technically, if he doesnt live through the process, the time is disallowed."How long does he have to live after the process??? | |||
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"i nominate myself for the "who can shave a mans sack n crack with a cut throat razor the quickest" category winner
Erm yeah...
Technically, if he doesnt live through the process, the time is disallowed.
How long does he have to live after the process???"Jesus woman. A year! What, did you think you could grab a gong as he stood there, getting paler by the second as the life drained from his body? And argue he was "still alive". | |||
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"i nominate myself for the "who can shave a mans sack n crack with a cut throat razor the quickest" category winner
Erm yeah...
Technically, if he doesnt live through the process, the time is disallowed.
How long does he have to live after the process???
Jesus woman. A year!
What, did you think you could grab a gong as he stood there, getting paler by the second as the life drained from his body?
And argue he was "still alive".
"Just checking the rules first - it could get ugly if there's an argument over a technicality during the award ceremony!!! And I didn't say I was going to do it - although on second thoughts I can think of some deserving victims - errr participants | |||
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"i nominate myself for the "who can shave a mans sack n crack with a cut throat razor the quickest" category winner
Erm yeah...
Technically, if he doesnt live through the process, the time is disallowed.
How long does he have to live after the process???
Jesus woman. A year!
What, did you think you could grab a gong as he stood there, getting paler by the second as the life drained from his body?
And argue he was "still alive".
Just checking the rules first - it could get ugly if there's an argument over a technicality during the award ceremony!!!
And I didn't say I was going to do it - although on second thoughts I can think of some deserving victims - errr participants "Ah. So your 'not meeting anyone' status is less to do with disillusionment of the lifestyle and more the result of a court order. Understand completely, no need to explain. | |||
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"i nominate myself for the "who can shave a mans sack n crack with a cut throat razor the quickest" category winner
Erm yeah...
Technically, if he doesnt live through the process, the time is disallowed.
How long does he have to live after the process???
Jesus woman. A year!
What, did you think you could grab a gong as he stood there, getting paler by the second as the life drained from his body?
And argue he was "still alive".
Just checking the rules first - it could get ugly if there's an argument over a technicality during the award ceremony!!!
And I didn't say I was going to do it - although on second thoughts I can think of some deserving victims - errr participants
Ah. So your 'not meeting anyone' status is less to do with disillusionment of the lifestyle and more the result of a court order.
Understand completely, no need to explain.
"That's very sweet of you - and very much appreciated. Mwah x | |||
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"LATE, but important nomination. Assuming that 'Wishy' is the same as 'wishynsiren', gets a gong for being able to argue ANY topic until the cows have come home, been fed, had a sleep and woken back up again. The man is a pedants pedant, but the committe salutes his indefagitability. (special mention too for some top posts he made during the 2010 papal visit) " oh, look at you! well done...went away for 6 months and came back with plus three syllable words...couldn't be prouder of you....awww...they grow so quick... | |||
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"our pic's are the best lol! "And once again, a gong is handed out for the simple task of asking for it. A Gong for best public pics in a geographical area 500m round their house goes to these nice people. (just in case there's really fit people nearby, you undertand) | |||
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"LATE, but important nomination. Assuming that 'Wishy' is the same as 'wishynsiren', gets a gong for being able to argue ANY topic until the cows have come home, been fed, had a sleep and woken back up again. The man is a pedants pedant, but the committe salutes his indefagitability. (special mention too for some top posts he made during the 2010 papal visit) oh, look at you! well done...went away for 6 months and came back with plus three syllable words...couldn't be prouder of you....awww...they grow so quick..." Dad, is that you? | |||
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"LATE, but important nomination. Assuming that 'Wishy' is the same as 'wishynsiren', gets a gong for being able to argue ANY topic until the cows have come home, been fed, had a sleep and woken back up again. The man is a pedants pedant, but the committe salutes his indefagitability. (special mention too for some top posts he made during the 2010 papal visit) " Ah cheers for that but I think there's a lot more posts that I've made that can also be considered for many of the other awards. I accept that I may be up against some stiff opposition but that's only from straight guys who are just pretending. I'd forgot about the pope thread, that was great fun, but the 327 election threads I started were also good fun too (specially when the jock's got home from the dole office and logged on). Still, I think the Soapster deserves a special mention for 'The Most Shrivelled Cock in the Western Hemisphere' (too much bubble bath methinks). | |||
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" Dad, is that you?" you promised not to call me that in public....you know where you're allowed to call me that..... | |||
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"didn't get one fer me bum, can I have one fer me legs please?" Dear girl, Send me a picture of your fanny and i'll make sure you win the whole thing outright. No strings. Please. | |||
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"didn't get one fer me bum, can I have one fer me legs please? Dear girl, Send me a picture of your fanny and i'll make sure you win the whole thing outright. No strings. Please. " EEEEUUUWWW!! Glad you asked for no strings then. Coulda been real messy!! | |||
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"didn't get one fer me bum, can I have one fer me legs please? Dear girl, Send me a picture of your fanny and i'll make sure you win the whole thing outright. No strings. Please. EEEEUUUWWW!! Glad you asked for no strings then. Coulda been real messy!! "bldy uncomfortable things too! | |||
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"didn't get one fer me bum, can I have one fer me legs please? Dear girl, Send me a picture of your fanny and i'll make sure you win the whole thing outright. No strings. Please. EEEEUUUWWW!! Glad you asked for no strings then. Coulda been real messy!! "It's not often that i'm even funnier than i think i am. But 'twas only after i had hit 'post message' i realised.... | |||
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"Careful... you'll have whatshischops chastising you on the menstrual chat! "There's a forum for little chocolate buttons covered in a delicious crispy shell!! Where??? | |||
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"Careful... you'll have whatshischops chastising you on the menstrual chat!
There's a forum for little chocolate buttons covered in a delicious crispy shell!! Where??? "Definitely not a melter!! | |||
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"I am boycotting the awards as i am going to win naff all lol how about wooden spoon winner for me lol " Nonsense - an instant gong for this guy in the 'My avatar pic looks like it was taken in a stately home. While i was burgling it' Congratulations to you sir. | |||
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"Right people, it's half past one in the morning, and the committee needs to rest. More tomorrow, perhaps. Though i reserve the right to wake up and think 'why the fuck did i go back to that site'. And the 'best fanny pic' award looks like it's not going to be given out. Not for the 1st time i find myself disppointed with some of the ladies on Fab. Femme could easily have picked up that gong. By sending me a face pic of Notts. 'Simples' (still working out which category Notts has won....and how i can name it without copping another ban)" 'The non-Award for a Person Not Here to Recieve It' | |||
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"Right people, it's half past one in the morning, and the committee needs to rest. More tomorrow, perhaps. Though i reserve the right to wake up and think 'why the fuck did i go back to that site'. And the 'best fanny pic' award looks like it's not going to be given out. Not for the 1st time i find myself disppointed with some of the ladies on Fab. Femme could easily have picked up that gong. By sending me a face pic of Notts. 'Simples' (still working out which category Notts has won....and how i can name it without copping another ban) 'The non-Award for a Person Not Here to Recieve It' "Dare i ask? | |||
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"Ooooh! The two girls on here (one in a couple, one single fem) who's public profile pics do it for me every time - and not a genital to be seen. Both get a gong. " aww shucks!!! you spoil me ambassador xxxx | |||
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"Ooooh! not a genital to be seen. aww shucks!!! you spoil me ambassador xxxx "I see your pvt pics, remember? But, to be fair, that is one happy looking Doberman. | |||
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"Can we have an award for not having the same people mentioned time and time again for awards award please..... and can I nominate myself for most bitter forum member please "YOu can have a nomonation, but i havent been around for a while, so point me in the direction of your best 'bitter' posts... | |||
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"And before you ask, yes this is another Fab Awards ceremony. Because i won fuck all in the last one." Snap  | |||
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"Can we have an award for not having the same people mentioned time and time again for awards award please..... and can I nominate myself for most bitter forum member please
YOu can have a nomonation, but i havent been around for a while, so point me in the direction of your best 'bitter' posts..."I nominate Iconic in the 'best retro glamour pic' award | |||
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"Can we have an award for not having the same people mentioned time and time again for awards award please..... and can I nominate myself for most bitter forum member please
YOu can have a nomonation, but i havent been around for a while, so point me in the direction of your best 'bitter' posts..."This one , cos i wasnt nominated for best forum member lol | |||
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"Can we have an award for not having the same people mentioned time and time again for awards award please..... and can I nominate myself for most bitter forum member please
YOu can have a nomonation, but i havent been around for a while, so point me in the direction of your best 'bitter' posts...
This one , cos i wasnt nominated for best forum member lol "Prettiest eyelashes? | |||
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after that im right at the back and get the scrag ends | |||
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"Award alert - Laine gets a nod for, well, being Laine." Awww thank you. (cheques in the post) xxxx | |||
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"Can we have an award for not having the same people mentioned time and time again for awards award please..... and can I nominate myself for most bitter forum member please
YOu can have a nomonation, but i havent been around for a while, so point me in the direction of your best 'bitter' posts...
This one , cos i wasnt nominated for best forum member lol "Congrats - in yet another category addition, you've won Best Retro pic, after i took a closer look. Godd work, well done. After much deliberation, we've decided not to go for 'Most embittered bitch on Fab' this year. Just not enough time to sift through that many entries. | |||
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"And before you ask, yes this is another Fab Awards ceremony. Because i won fuck all in the last one. Snap "Sorry Peaches but you've disqualified yourself by having 'cannot accom, cannot travel'. as a setting on your profile. Tough, but da rules is da rules. | |||
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"can we have a best hat category?" Yes. Would you like to nominate someone? | |||
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"Is there an award for procrastination? "Yeah. Later on. When i get round to it. | |||
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"can we have a best hat category? Yes. Would you like to nominate someone?" yes, the one yesterday in the troll hat! | |||
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"should you decide to nominate my bum there are now strings attached. "Consider your bum nominated. Less to do with 'strings attached', more the jury liking the shameless self publicist in you. | |||
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"should you decide to nominate my bum there are now strings attached.
Consider your bum nominated.
Less to do with 'strings attached', more the jury liking the shameless self publicist in you.
"nowt to do with the bum then? | |||
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"should you decide to nominate my bum there are now strings attached.
Consider your bum nominated.
Less to do with 'strings attached', more the jury liking the shameless self publicist in you.
nowt to do with the bum then? "The bum is well up to scratch. Let me know if you want a shameless self publicist in you. | |||
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"can we have a best hat category? Yes. Would you like to nominate someone?" yes sharpie is sporting a very fetching santa hat ... | |||
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"should you decide to nominate my bum there are now strings attached.
Consider your bum nominated.
Less to do with 'strings attached', more the jury liking the shameless self publicist in you.
nowt to do with the bum then?
The bum is well up to scratch.
Let me know if you want a shameless self publicist in you. "if I get an itch, I'll let you know. | |||
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"A timely reminder on another thread has caused the judging panel to re-convene. This time it's a Special Award, given to long standing Fabster 'Soapy', for having an avatar pic which, every time, makes you think "what?". " So nice ta see ya back pmsl xx | |||
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"A timely reminder on another thread has caused the judging panel to re-convene. This time it's a Special Award, given to long standing Fabster 'Soapy', for having an avatar pic which, every time, makes you think "what?". " Talking of Avatar pics, I finally got round to seeing that film and now I'm obsessed with it, watched it twice and going to mums tonight to watch it again. I know that's slightly off topic but like I said, I'm obsessed -- I want to live on Pandora!! Oh and wb Sensual, ya lunatic | |||
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"A timely reminder on another thread has caused the judging panel to re-convene. This time it's a Special Award, given to long standing Fabster 'Soapy', for having an avatar pic which, every time, makes you think "what?". Talking of Avatar pics, I finally got round to seeing that film and now I'm obsessed with it, watched it twice and going to mums tonight to watch it again. I know that's slightly off topic but like I said, I'm obsessed -- I want to live on Pandora!! Oh and wb Sensual, ya lunatic "Yep brill film that is just brill xx | |||
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"Can we have a "who still wears white socks?" category?
Or a " who wears white socks with nowt else" category?"mmmmmmmm lovely, so very sexy funnily enough | |||
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"A timely reminder on another thread has caused the judging panel to re-convene. This time it's a Special Award, given to long standing Fabster 'Soapy', for having an avatar pic which, every time, makes you think "what?". " more like, what is that woman doing ffs | |||
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"A timely reminder on another thread has caused the judging panel to re-convene. This time it's a Special Award, given to long standing Fabster 'Soapy', for having an avatar pic which, every time, makes you think "what?". more like, what is that woman doing ffs "Woman what woman pmsl xx | |||
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"Sausage! "roll!!! | |||
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"1 for the person last to read the thread. Thanks in anticipation Happy Easter x " Makes a change for a woman to be premature! Its not even pancake day yet! | |||
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"May yours be flat and round ! " Oh you are such a delight, Granny! Always a chore, never a pleasure! | |||
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