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Chat up lines

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What's been the worst you have used or received?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We hope you've got pet insurance cos we're gonna destroy your pussy!!

Works every time

Sasha x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We hope you've got pet insurance cos we're gonna destroy your pussy!!

Works every time

Sasha x"

Yes that is terrible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as I have a nose darling you'll always have somewhere to sit"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you have a sewing machine, cos we're gonna tear that arse up!

The only reason we'd kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.

Does this napkin smell like Chloroform to you?

We are nothing if not smooth

Sasha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We hope you've got pet insurance cos we're gonna destroy your pussy!!

Works every time

Sasha x

Yes that is terrible "
don't hate the player, hate the game

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I just shit my pants - can I get in yours."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How's ya gristle gripper?!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I just shit my pants - can I get in yours."

"

Class!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ever had your belly button licked from the inside?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you know there are nine planets in the Solar System?

But there's only be eight if I smashed up Uranus."

I replied with a lecture on anal mutilation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*there'd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that a mirror in your knickers because I can see myself in them tonight.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


""Did you know there are nine planets in the Solar System?

But there's only be eight if I smashed up Uranus."

I replied with a lecture on anal mutilation."

So he goes back to his mates having apparently had a three minute conversation with you...

I bet he didn't report the content accurately!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funniest I've received from girls are

"I've got a double jointed jaw, wanna see?"

and

"You know what would look good on you? Me!"

Both weren't said seriously, so it wasn't too awkward

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight

You're on my list of things to do tonight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you like chocolate?

I'll pull down your 'snickers' and give you a 'boost'

Heard my mate use it one time

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know either but I hope it's enough to break the ice....

If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together....

In a bar take some ice, drop it on the floor and stamp on it. Say "right now that we've broken the ice"

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

I had a mate who would approach a girl standing near a mirror in a bar and say "there's a man in here tonight who models for Armani. He's standing right there" and point at his reflection in the mirror...

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