FabSwingers.com forum: Attitudes

By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I've noticed recently that many people approach swinging and casual sex with the assumption that it's wrong. I see emotive words used to describe it and even some of the most ardent advocates of swinging talk about it using terms such as "cheap". Sexually transmitted infections are deemed much worse than infection spread by other human interaction even among the swinging community. Why do you think that is?

I know we can never entirely escape our social conditioning and upbringing but is casual sex, really wrong?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/10/15 17:59:11]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know we can never entirely escape our social conditioning and upbringing but is casual sex, really wrong?

Only if you aren't a guy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The old saying 'Don't knock it until you've tried' it springs to mind

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I know we can never entirely escape our social conditioning and upbringing but is casual sex, really wrong?

Only if you aren't a guy."

Ain't THAT the truth.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Nothing wrong with it at all, where consent given and no one is hurt.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"The old saying 'Don't knock it until you've tried' it springs to mind

But it's the ones who've tried it are still doing it yet feel it's wrong that I'm talking about

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Nothing wrong with it at all, where consent given and no one is hurt. "

That's true in my opinion but opinions expressed here recently lead me to believe that quite a few don't agree.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

not me, I've been shagging around since my teens and I couldn't a merry fuck if people think anything negative.

I was given a cock for that reason and for taking a piss......

and I will shag em and leave em.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Millions are doing what we do, we just talk about. Millions don't.

I'd like to think the 'cheap' attitudes are from a different generation but I'm not convinced that's true given some of the stuff I've read here. It'll always be frowned upon by those who don't do it.

My parents have only ever been with each other. I'm not sure I can speak for my brother but I'm fairly sure he's been as promiscuous as I have. It's just that we don't _iew it as a bad thing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I know we can never entirely escape our social conditioning and upbringing but is casual sex, really wrong?

Only if you aren't a guy."

Exactly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"not me, I've been shagging around since my teens and I couldn't a merry fuck if people think anything negative.

I was given a cock for that reason and for taking a piss......

and I will shag em and leave em."

Good. I like that attitude.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Millions are doing what we do, we just talk about. Millions don't.

My parents have only ever been with each other. I'm not sure I can speak for my brother but I'm fairly sure he's been as promiscuous as I have. It's just that we don't _iew it as a bad thing.

Yea but DG I mean the people on here with that attitude. There have been a few things said recently that reveal how people really think.

I was a teenager and early twenties in the seventies casual sex was the norm among my friends but to hear them talk now you'd think they had taken a vow of celibacy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My parents would _iew casual sex as wrong too based on their beliefs, but I've noticed them relax their attitude in recent years. I had to have a therapeutic intervention to sort out my Catholic guilt, as a young man in my early 20s, that wanted to break free of the shackles of my social conditioning. So I understand why people might still have issues with it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say probably upbringing and peer talk at all ages. My ex brother in law once said to another family member that I was probably a swinger,that was when I left my husband. He was using it as a slur on me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I will declare that I am a tad hypocritical in my attitude as I will dismiss people if they have too many PLAY verifications in a short timeline. Not because they are shagging too many, just that I may think that swinging has consumed their life and that puts me off.

as I say, that may come across hypocritical....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I didn't make myself clear. I meant that people within the swinging community feel it's wrong, I can't get my head round that.

I really should read before posting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *km45Man
over a year ago

UTTOXETER

I see nothing wrong with casual sex. Happens every weekend with people pulling at clubs and going back home with who ever they have pulled. On here it more organised and not so random.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The old saying 'Don't knock it until you've tried' it springs to mind

But it's the ones who've tried it are still doing it yet feel it's wrong that I'm talking about

Maybe they enjoy the sense of self loathing?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The old saying 'Don't knock it until you've tried' it springs to mind

But it's the ones who've tried it are still doing it yet feel it's wrong that I'm talking about

Maybe they enjoy the sense of self loathing?"

I guess that might work with some kinks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what you mean and it is definitely as Lib! says, in that women who indulge in casual sex are less than women who don't, whereas boys will be boys. Not many have this attitude, fortunately, but it does make an appearance every now and then.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know what you mean and it is definitely as Lib! says, in that women who indulge in casual sex are less than women who don't, whereas boys will be boys. Not many have this attitude, fortunately, but it does make an appearance every now and then."

And couples. That's just wrong too.

So glad I was born with a penis.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are you bothered about what others think? Seems a bit pointless

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I didn't make myself clear. I meant that people within the swinging community feel it's wrong, I can't get my head round that.

I really should read before posting

I make the assumption they haven't really come to terms with who they are and what they want.

They think they're comfortable in the swinging community, but when it comes down to it, they haven't left their vanilla prejudices behind and are as closed minded as other vanillas! Shame really,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why are you bothered about what others think? Seems a bit pointless "

I'm not bothered, I just felt it would make an interesting discussion, feel free to pass by

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I didn't make myself clear. I meant that people within the swinging community feel it's wrong, I can't get my head round that.

I really should read before posting

I've seen things written where people think their way is right (or better) and others are wrong. I just love sex and all the pleasure it brings

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I didn't make myself clear. I meant that people within the swinging community feel it's wrong, I can't get my head round that.

I really should read before posting

I've seen things written where people think their way is right (or better) and others are wrong. I just love sex and all the pleasure it brings

Me too and its blindingly obvious that MY way is right.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some peoples perception of deep runs to something other than fucking friends.

I don't think there's anything wrong with swinging or promiscuous sex, or else i wouldn't be doing iut, but i'm not gonna kid myself that it's deep and meaningful.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not me, I've been shagging around since my teens and I couldn't a merry fuck if people think anything negative.

I was given a cock for that reason and for taking a piss......

and I will shag em and leave em."

Same here, but since around 24 years of age and I was given a vagina

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Too many people worry too much about what others think of them, the pretence is often staggering...

Tiptoeing around what to say, what to think... Sometimes being bland for mass appeal...

It's crazy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *retty womanWoman
over a year ago

Near Bournemouth

We were very promiscuous before queen Victoria, apparently sex wasn't good enough for "the serfs".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've noticed recently that many people approach swinging and casual sex with the assumption that it's wrong. I see emotive words used to describe it and even some of the most ardent advocates of swinging talk about it using terms such as "cheap". Sexually transmitted infections are deemed much worse than infection spread by other human interaction even among the swinging community. Why do you think that is?

I know we can never entirely escape our social conditioning and upbringing but is casual sex, really wrong?

Swinging and casual sex are the same thing. People saying that swinging is better/ superior make me laugh. It's still just fucking around. I think society still thinks of monogamy as being the way life should be, and that's the issue. A general air of it being 'wrong'.

It's not wrong to fuck around. Although sometimes doing something that everyone else deems to be 'wrong' can be bloody good fun.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I know we can never entirely escape our social conditioning and upbringing but is casual sex, really wrong?

It's not wrong to fuck around. Although sometimes doing something that everyone else deems to be 'wrong' can be bloody good fun.

Yes I'd agree with that.

I don't think casual sex is wrong either,non casual is pretty good too and I'm a big fan of nonchalant shagging

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

I know we can never entirely escape our social conditioning and upbringing but is casual sex, really wrong?

I don't think its cheap and don't have issues or opinions about infections, but I do feel, since being with and becoming closer to my partner, less than ever a need to play with someone else - in fact I know I could quite happily give it up and I personally swing more for the social aspect now. I also have read more recently on here a spate of threads from males wanting to start their female partner swinging and that has made me think about the dynamics or such a relationship, indeed relationships in general where one person instigated something ... and the other goes along. Opinions about self and sexual interactions run deep in individuals ... I never judge others behaviour, though, just think about my own feelings and the impact on myself and my partner. I am one of those stubborn mules who will not do anything just for the sake of pleasing someone else, but I also don't expect someone to do that for me either. Can you be more specific about attitudes on here ....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I know we can never entirely escape our social conditioning and upbringing but is casual sex, really wrong?

That's a good way to be

I think attitudes on here probably reflect wider society although you'd think it would be different.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I didn't make myself clear. I meant that people within the swinging community feel it's wrong, I can't get my head round that.

I really should read before posting

I've seen things written where people think their way is right (or better) and others are wrong. I just love sex and all the pleasure it brings

Me too and its blindingly obvious that MY way is right.

So is my way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I was a teenager and early twenties in the seventies casual sex was the norm among my friends but to hear them talk now you'd think they had taken a vow of celibacy."

I grew up in the seventies too, but casual sex was never the norm among my friends, several different groups - a bunch of hippies/rockers at home, art college, then Uni/college..... Most of the time sex was part of a relationship, or it was assumed meant you were starting one. No-one needed to go without because of the lack of a relationship, so casual sex occurred, but no-one I knew ever chose it on an ongoing basis, they chose to be in a relationship.

I still feel the same, I prefer sex within a relationship, not being in one is not going to stop me having sex, and I don't feel it's wrong or feel guilt about it, but I do not feel casual sex is the best thing for me, no.

True swinging is not just 'shagging around' as couples are already in a stable relationship, so the dynamic is very different.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I was a teenager and early twenties in the seventies casual sex was the norm among my friends but to hear them talk now you'd think they had taken a vow of celibacy.

True swinging is not just 'shagging around' as couples are already in a stable relationship, so the dynamic is very different."

Yes I appreciate that not everyone was like my group of friends

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread