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chat up lines

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Whats the worst you have heard?

or the funniest?

one that amused me was

do you sleep on your stomach?

no

can i?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When they made the alphabet they should have put U and I togethe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Whats the worst you have heard?

or the funniest?

one that amused me was

do you sleep on your stomach?

no

can i?"
The only thing I want between our relationship is latex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Whats the worst you have heard?

or the funniest?

one that amused me was

do you sleep on your stomach?

no

can i?The only thing I want between our relationship is latex "

grab your snorkel youve pulled lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes "

barrrrfffff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes

barrrrfffff"
how do you think i feel ? i have this all the time ffs xx kaz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes

barrrrfffffhow do you think i feel ? i have this all the time ffs xx kaz "

Does Rob know you are on here lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes

barrrrfffffhow do you think i feel ? i have this all the time ffs xx kaz

Does Rob know you are on here lol "

thats a crap chat up line!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes

barrrrfffffhow do you think i feel ? i have this all the time ffs xx kaz

Does Rob know you are on here lol "
NOOOOO shhhhhhhhhh!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes

barrrrfffffhow do you think i feel ? i have this all the time ffs xx kaz

Does Rob know you are on here lol

thats a crap chat up line!"

Never was good at em pmsl x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Years ago when I were a lad hehehe.... As each of my circle of friends got married we'd take the groom on his stag night and we all had to use the same chat up line. The best one was:

"Hi, you're so hot you make the cheese under my foreskin bubble!"

It was 50/50 if you got a slap or she laughed, if she laughed it usually meant a shag at the end of the night.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Years ago when I were a lad hehehe.... As each of my circle of friends got married we'd take the groom on his stag night and we all had to use the same chat up line. The best one was:

"Hi, you're so hot you make the cheese under my foreskin bubble!"

It was 50/50 if you got a slap or she laughed, if she laughed it usually meant a shag at the end of the night. "

OMFG!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Years ago when I were a lad hehehe.... As each of my circle of friends got married we'd take the groom on his stag night and we all had to use the same chat up line. The best one was:

"Hi, you're so hot you make the cheese under my foreskin bubble!"

It was 50/50 if you got a slap or she laughed, if she laughed it usually meant a shag at the end of the night.

OMFG! "

You laughed. That means you wanna fuck me!.. see guys, told ya it worked!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Years ago when I were a lad hehehe.... As each of my circle of friends got married we'd take the groom on his stag night and we all had to use the same chat up line. The best one was:

"Hi, you're so hot you make the cheese under my foreskin bubble!"

It was 50/50 if you got a slap or she laughed, if she laughed it usually meant a shag at the end of the night.

OMFG!

You laughed. That means you wanna fuck me!.. see guys, told ya it worked! "

good job i bought my handbag size strapon with me then....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Years ago when I were a lad hehehe.... As each of my circle of friends got married we'd take the groom on his stag night and we all had to use the same chat up line. The best one was:

"Hi, you're so hot you make the cheese under my foreskin bubble!"

It was 50/50 if you got a slap or she laughed, if she laughed it usually meant a shag at the end of the night.

OMFG!

You laughed. That means you wanna fuck me!.. see guys, told ya it worked!

good job i bought my handbag size strapon with me then...."

What you do on your way home is your business honey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

haha oh i luv u guys lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Screw me if I'm wrong, but you want to kiss me don't you?

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton

" does this rag smell of cloroform ? "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"" does this rag smell of cloroform ? ""

lmao............no really lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another classic I used to use was this:

You go up to the girl you fancy and hand her a dice. You then say, 'Hi, if you roll a 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 you get to shag me!"

9 times out of 10 she'll immediately answer with, "Oh yeah! What if I roll a 6 then."

"You get another go."

Success rate: 25%

(goes up if you use it more than 10 times in an evening but tbh I was usually too pissed to care by then and headed off for a kebab.)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

your rope or mine?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"your rope or mine?"

Has yours been boiled recently?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

has yours been oiled?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you sleep on your stomach? If not, can I?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you sleep on your stomach? If not, can I? "

That was in the opening post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Another classic I used to use was this:

You go up to the girl you fancy and hand her a dice. You then say, 'Hi, if you roll a 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 you get to shag me!"

9 times out of 10 she'll immediately answer with, "Oh yeah! What if I roll a 6 then."

"You get another go."

Success rate: 25%

(goes up if you use it more than 10 times in an evening but tbh I was usually too pissed to care by then and headed off for a kebab.)"

now the kebab bit sounds good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm rubbish, can't even think of a bad one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi there your eyes are like spanners, Every time mine and your eyes meet my nuts get tighter.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi there your eyes are like spanners, Every time mine and your eyes meet my nuts get tighter."

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I told you you had a sexy body, would you hold it against me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like maths. You want to go to my room, add the bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I told you you had a sexy body, would you hold it against me?"

nope, id think your were either pissed, on drugs or after a shag lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you believe in love at first sight...or do I have to walk by again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I told you you had a sexy body, would you hold it against me?

nope, id think your were either pissed, on drugs or after a shag lmao"

What if I was all three?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I told you you had a sexy body, would you hold it against me?

nope, id think your were either pissed, on drugs or after a shag lmao

What if I was all three? "
get your coat youve pulled

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I told you you had a sexy body, would you hold it against me?

nope, id think your were either pissed, on drugs or after a shag lmao

What if I was all three? "

you wouldnt be any use at all! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I told you you had a sexy body, would you hold it against me?"

dam right i would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are 256 bones in your body! Would u like another?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are your parents retarded? 'Cos your special!

Can I buy you a drink or would you rather have the money?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are your parents retarded? 'Cos your special!

Can I buy you a drink or would you rather have the money?"

excuse me whilst i wipe the coffee off my screen...lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have you got a plaster? Because Ihurt my knee falling for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

sorry can you repeat that, the music was a bit loud.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you like your eggs in the morning ? Fertilised ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like maths. You want to go to my room, add the bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How do you like your eggs in the morning ? Fertilised ? "

poached actually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want you to have my children... they're in the car outside.

I like your legs so much I'm going to name one Christmas and one New Year.

Can I see you between the holidays?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you like your eggs in the morning ? Fertilised ?

poached actually"

Hope you like chickens too ?

cos this is fowl !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

some of these are actually quite funny...they might even work...ahem on some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry , if your walking funny tmoz ! You can stay for the weekend !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"some of these are actually quite funny...they might even work...ahem on some."
ooh you floozy you!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"some of these are actually quite funny...they might even work...ahem on some.ooh you floozy you!!!!

"

excuse me..........its you brazen hussey you...if you dont mind!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

brazen hussy ,floozy wanton wench,buxom jezebelgangsters moll ...oops close to the bone there lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its 2.00 in the morning love , n your the only 1 left !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"brazen hussy ,floozy wanton wench,buxom jezebelgangsters moll ...oops close to the bone there lol "

ffs...you missed out bitch!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its 2.00 in the morning love , n your the only 1 left ! "
where the hell are you cos its only just gone 12 here ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was going home , but I felt sorry for you all on your own , so I thought oh well its only 1 night !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was going home , but I felt sorry for you all on your own , so I thought oh well its only 1 night ! "

your all heart you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one night ??? ffs dipsy you are playing with fire be careful you might get your fingers burnt ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"one night ??? ffs dipsy you are playing with fire be careful you might get your fingers burnt .... "
I didn't know you were that hot !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

wanna fuck?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried that and got do you wanna fuck followed by OFF lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wana fuck PLEASE

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